There are certain activities which one does while under the influence of alcoholic beverages and would not do while being sober. The sport of Hedge Jumping™ is just one of those activities.

This sport combines the skills of high jumping and of basic home gardening concerning care of shrubbery and hedges. The participant, who will use both of these skills effectively and efficiently, will most likely become a dominating player in this sport. However it must be noted that during intoxication, it is difficult to remember your name, than it is to remember how to use such skills.

In the activity itself, the participant must completely hurdle or jump over a hedge or common shrubbery. The rules for the sport are very simple…. The participant must not get caught, by either the hedge owner or law enforcement. It is also recommended that the activity partake at late hours of the night or very early morning. Darkness is a friend and a foe of the hedge jumper. The skill of high jumper will come into play with the correct jumping technique, however it is the skill of the gardener that will come into play with the hedge itself. It is very important to note that no two hedges or shrubs are alike. The dictionary defines for us the following meanings…

hedge n. 1 A fence or barrier formed of bushes set close together. 2. The act of hedging a bet or risk.

shrub n. A woody perennial plant of low stature characterized by persistent stems and branches springing from the base.

shrubbery adj. 1. Shrubs collectively. 2. A collection of shrubs, as in a garden.

The sport of Hedge Jumping is a sport but, as defined, it is much like a bet or risk. And because hedges are like barrier or fences, the act of jumping over or running through the hedgeis a difficult task. Therefore, beginners of the sport should start with single shrubs, then after practice, move onto shrubbery. Many shrubs and shrubbery stand about 2 feet to a 4 feet maximum. Once the participant is confident with his or her shrub jumping skill, then it may be time to move onto the hedge. Hedge height is from 3 feet to heights of 10 feet. However it is wise to use hedges with a height no more than that of the participant, unless the participant is confident with his or her skill.

Picking a hedge is the choice of the participant or is some cases, due to alcohol levels, the participant may ask for a partner to choose a hedge. Once the hedge is chosen, the participant must complete five different surveys. The first survey involves checking the hedge for internal object such a hire guides and holds, wooden fencing, lighting equipment, and barbwire. Then survey behind the hedge. Search beyond the hedge for objects like the ones listed above but also objects such as garden statues, water fountains, bird baths, cliffs, trees and dogs. Once these areas are clear, survey the running ground. It is important to get a good run at the hedge to produce momentum for the jump. So check the area in front of the hedge again for all the objects listed above but also include objects such as ditches, fire hydrants, and signs. With all areas clear, it is now time to make the last check. Check for the hedge owner, witnesses, cameras, and law enforcement officers. It takes many years to create a beautiful hedge and minutes to destroy so remember to check for the hedge owner. Look at the house for evidence of the residence being occupied or surveyed. With everything checked, it is now time to make the activity a true reality.

Run towards the hedge with great speed, careful though; remember a drunken person can’t even walk straight. Once in close range, take the leap. Depending on the participant, some chose to jump straight on toward the hedge, while others jump from along side, as high jumper might. It is important to mention, some participant choose not to jump over at all, but yet to run through the hedge. This can be achieved, though damage to the hedge and the participant’s body can be very significant. If you have successfully leap or passed through the hedge, you are a winner.

Now it is important to leave the area beyond the hedge quickly, remember you’re on someone’s property and it is trespassing, which is a punishable offence.

Once the activity is complete and successful, it is time to enjoy a refreshing drink and smell the scene of the hedge on your clothing. It is time to wipe the blood away and take pride in your victory. Congradulations and have fun!