***

The journey way back to the studio was a little disturbed. It did not seem right. Not at all. Kyo was chatting animatedly with Punk, talking about all sorts of things. Shinya was sitting next to the window. Kaoru kept quiet beside him and Die was driving with Toshiya sleeping in front.

Die looked at the pedestrians crossing the road

Toshiya’s eyes were closed but who knows?

Punk was laughing his ass off cuz Kyo was imitating some weird nonsense

Kaoru leaned back on his seat and once in a while, laughed along

Shinya sat up and fixed his eyes to the window

Punk opened the window and wolf whistled at the Ganguro bunch who passed by

Kyo cackled

Kaoru rolled his eyes, spread his arm and shoved Punk’s head out the window

Toshiya opened his eyes

Die laughed

Shinya looked up and shook his head

*

“Ne, it’s SO much fun!!!”

Kirito smiled at the sight of his koi beaming. They were sitting in the living room. He had just taken a nice shower WITH Kyo and they were just chilling. It was the time to listen to Kyo’s stories. Toshiya walked out of the guest room and scratched his head

“Ano, I’m leaving ne…”

Kyo looked up, “Why don’t you join in and we tell Kirito about what happened this afternoon?” he offered. Toshiya looked at Kirito who was smiling.

“Mn, I’m kinda tired, and nothing really happened anyway…”

“What do you mean?!” Kyo pouted

“Heh, it’s fun for you, warumono! We all suffered cuz he just couldn’t stop his antics! He kept pouring-”

“Gah!!! Bai bai Toshiya!!! C U TOMOLO!” Kyo shouted and waved frantically. Kirito laughed and messed up Kyo’s hair, “Hey! Be nice!”

Toshiya stuck his tongue out and walked out the apartment

Kyo looked at his lover and sighed aloud. Kirito looked concerned and patted Kyo’s shoulder, “Are you okay?” he asked. The other singer nodded but he looked gloomy

“I’m fine, but they aren’t. And that’s the exact reason why I am not okay” he laughed bitterly and looked at his own nails, “I’m having the time of my life but I’m not okay because my best friends are having bad times. They never really tell me but I can tell”

Kirito inched closer and hugged the petite singer, “They don’t want to tell you because they know you’re having the time of your life and they don’t want t ruin it. Even if it kills you they’re doing it FOR you. I know it’s so ironic but they think it’s the best thing to do”

Kyo sighed and looked up at his koi with a cute pout

“I wish I’m more involved”

Kirito gave him a good natured smile

“You’re already so involved to the point that…” he stopped and looked at Kyo.

…

“Come on Kyo…” he hushed his lover softly and hugged him tighter

“I’m feeling so good”

“I know, Kyo”

“I wish this is forever”

“It will be”

“But they are suffering…”

Kirito kissed the tip of his nose and his forehead, “Everything has an end”

Kyo looked at him doubtfully

“Whatever it is, …it will be over, sooner or later and one day, you will walk into the room and everything will fall to the right places” Kirito stated firmly and wiped his lover’s cheek

Kyo smiled

*

“What a nice shower”

Kaoru hung his towel up and walked toward the bed. Shinya was here sitting up, reading a book

“What are you reading?”

Shinya looked up and held the object up, “To Kill a Mocking Bird”

Kaoru looked somewhat stunned by the title (the book was, of course, translated into Japanese)

Shinya saw the expression therefore he smiled, “First chapter was boring but then it turned out pretty interesting”

The older man nodded and sat on the corner of the bed; he picked up the remote control and on the stereo. “Hey this is nice song” he stated and pulled on Shinya’s leg. The drummer sighed and put the book aside, “Which one?” he asked. Kaoru gave a cute pout and turned to him

“This one, guess who gave in the demo?”

The music started and Shinya rolled his eyes and laughed

“This is so far my favourite. I really want to elaborate the drum bit” Shinya sighed and looked at Kaoru, “Do you think it’s a good idea?”

Kaoru played with his own hair, “Upbeat?”

Shinya nodded

“Yeah why not? Talk to him about it!”

Kaoru noticed the expression on that pretty face, so he raised an eyebrow and touched Shinya’s cheek “What’s wrong? You are quiet usually but just now it went a little extreme” he held the chin up and stared at those eyes. The younger man shook his head

“I’m tired…can we sleep?”

Kaoru smiled, “Sure” … with that, he turned the stereo off, turned the lights off and climbed up the bed. Shinya snuggled up to him and he covered both of them with a blanket

“Oyasumi Shinchan” he whispered and wrapped an arm around Shinya

There was a muffled reply and Kaoru merely smiled, drifting off slowly.

*

It was a complete utter silence in the park, and it was getting a little too dark. The lamp posts were placed far away from each other and the only thing he could hear was the sounds of his own heavy breathing, and also, his running steps. It was not hot, not cold either. But to him it was hot AND cold. Hot cuz he was all sweaty from the running and cold cuz the breeze swept against his hot skin every now and then

He made a turn, and all the sudden, there were all the noises

Giggles

He turned around a little

Girls

Chatting, tending nails, sitting on benches under a lamp post

He turned away and ran faster

Then he stopped, abruptly

He turned his head back again to the direction where he saw the opposite sex

And he heard the giggles, the rants and all the rubbish in the world

He looked at the ground

…

When he continued running out from the park, he had a determined look on his face

So inspired

So an idea

So for the fuckers

*

Fear

In those eyes

He could see that so clearly, but what he could not see was the reason why. How could that ‘fear’ be there…? Was he …being rude?

No

They did it all the time

Was he…being rough?

Maybe

Was he…

Scared?

He? Himself?

Yeah...

He was scared of the sudden outburst of his own emotion, he was scared of the realization and he was scared at the fact that nothing would be the same again. He was scared to look into those eyes again, he was scared just to even see that person.

But he had to, he wanted to…he needed to...

Thrill

Die was so thrilled.

***