MASK

by nezu

Part 4 ~ hone ase namida ketsueki kokyuu shinkei shunou mo

"zutazuta" ~

"You... do what?", Shinya asked, after he recovered from his shock.

"It's true Shinya, believe me just this once!", Die begged, tears

starting to form in his eyes. "I. Love. You!"

Stunned Shinya stared at the man in front of him. The man who always

seemed like he couldn't cry nor love, and there he was, right there in

front of him, telling he loved him and crying softly. The drummer

suddenly felt the urge to laugh hysterically, but he managed to remain quiet.

What was he supposed to do now? Why was he feeling this light-headed

and happy? Could it....no, that couldn't be. And...who said it wasn't a

joke from Die? After all he didn't believe him. "What....what do you

expect me to say Daisuke? Tell you how I love you back and hugging you

until you manage to pull away and laugh me in the face? I don't think

so.", he paused and turned around, showing his back to Die. "Let's sleep

now, okay? I'm tired from this..."

"Shinya....", Die whispered unbelieving. The drummer didn't trust

him........still. He could feel tears streaming down his face as he gave up

to make the other man believe, and moved to shut the light quit. How he

wished now he hadn't teased Shinya so much, maybe then the other could

have trusted him more easily. Die, too worn out from his argument with

Shinya and too much in self-thoughts, didn't notice the muffled noises

from the other side of the bed.

Kyo, in the meanwhile laid beneath Toshiya, listening to his quiet

sobbing and wondering why it affected Toshiya so much what Kaoru thought

about him. Could it be that the bassist did harbour things for their

leader? Kyo sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Toshi....please, stop

crying.....I can't bear it seeing you so sad!", he whispered carefully.

"I can't...", came the reply.

"Why not? Kaoru.."

"Kaoru is right...and he hates me now! I.....I understand him, I'm not

good enough for you all...for him....", he was cut from Toshiya

bitterly.

The little vocalist was shocked. The second time this night. "How can

you say that? Toshiya! You don't believe what Kaoru said is true or that

he means that? You should KNOW that it isn't true!"

"....."

"Toshimasa!", Kyo sat up, feeling for the other man in the dark. As he

found him he tug him into a tight embrace, never letting go. "You are

more than good enough for us all, you should know that! We all like you

and we are glad we got you as our bassist and friend! Don't you dare

ever say something like that again! Hear me? Never!"

Against his will Toshiya smiled softly. It was good to have friends

like Kyo, who were there for him when he needed them the most. Toshiya

felt warm and comforted and snuggled closer into the embrace. "Thank you,

Kyo.", he whispered back, softly hugging the other man, too. After a

while he noticed Kyo sleeping peacefully and he sighed smiling, cuddling

the vocalist as close to him as possible. He did a good job as

teddy-bear. Slowly, Toshiya too, let himself drift into slumber.

//What in hell did you think you did?// Kaoru asked himself angrily.

After he had left the building he had headed home, only to pace around in

his apartment cursing himself for his stupidity. Now it was morning and

he was still asking himself the same question over and over again.

//Nothing// he answered himself. He hadn't thought that time as he

confronted Toshiya. No, he definitely hadn't. IF he had he wouldn't have done

such a mean thing and that in front of all! It just wasn't right. He had

gotten angry, but did that excuse his behaviour? Of course NOT! Worst

of all, Toshiya would REALLY hate him now, and he couldn't blame him, he

hated himself too, for what he did. How could he actually face him

again? There was no chance the bassist would forgive him, he knew. And that

meant there was absolutely no opportunity for them to get together!

Kaoru winced but forced himself to reply that again. Right, there was no

way Toshiya could actually care for him now. No way.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, which brought Kaoru back to

earth. He strolled over to the door and opened it, just to find himself

again on the ground. His jaw hurt. Confused, he looked up.

"How can you say such cruel things to Toshiya you bastard?", Die asked

him angrily, closing the door.

"I...", Kaoru was at a loss for words. Die did actually HIT him for

Toshiya. He couldn't believe it, but his throbbing jaw made him to. The

guitarist must really feel something for the pretty bassist, otherwise he

wouldn't care so much, would he? "You...hit me...", he said wondering.

"Yes I did. You have been really cruel yesterday and you hurt Toshiya

madly, you know that?", the red-haired man spoke angry. "And the worse,

now they all believe Toshiya and I have been lovers, which is not true!"

".......it's not?"

"NO, it's NOT you idiot!", Die hissed. "How comes you thought that

anyway?"

"Because.....you two flirted so much, you went out together and....I

was just....", Kaoru sheepishly replied.

Die watched him carefully. "You....you have been jealous!", he noticed

confused. "But why?"

The other man turned red and laughed nervously. "What do you THINK

Die-kun?"

"You won't say that.........that you....no....really?"

"I'm in love with Toshiya, you got it right Die-kun!", Kaoru whispered

softly and his face fell noticeable. "I was just so mad at him for not

caring.....I guess I am an idiot, nee Die-kun? I pushed him more away

than he already was.....!", the purple-head curled into an ball hiding

his face behind his fingers.

"I understand..."

"I don't think you do Die....maybe if you would be in love with

Shinya....."

"I am.", was the reply he got.

Kaoru's head shot up, wide-eyed staring at Die's serious face. "You

are?", he asked unbelieving.

His friend rolled his eyes heavenwards. "My god, why do all people

think I'm lying?", then he faced Kaoru. "Yes, I do, and because of you he

thinks now I have been Toshiya's lover...", he sighed deeply.

"I'm so sorry Die!" Kaoru said ruefully.

"It's okay, he don't feels the same anyway, so he doesn't care about

that I'm sure!", the red-haired man answered and sat beside Kaoru. For a

long time both of them was quiet, thoughtful. Then Die moved at

first, looking at Kaoru with sudden amusement.

"You know, we two are so hopeless, falling in love with two guys, who

happen to be our bandmates and not-caring about us at all!", he started

to snicker and soon Kaoru fell in. "What are we going to do with us?"

The bandleader was serious as soon as the sentence came to an end. "I

feel like killing myself right now!", he whispered.

"Don't say that Kaoru-kun!", Die disclaimed shocked. "It's not funny!"

"Calm down Die, I wouldn't do that.....I just feel like it, you know?",

Kaoru sighed and buried his head between his knees. "I'm just cursing

myself for not accepting Toshiya's offer two weeks ago....maybe I would

be happy now..."

"What offer?"