Part
14
Shinya
had been staying at the balcony for quite some time, Die had asked him to go
into the house but the drummer refuse to talk to him. The wind was getting
stronger, chilling Shinya but the drummer felt good, at least his heart was not
so disarray at this moment. It was only now that Shinya manage to let his mind
stay clear, thinking.
Die
watches his lover, worried that the drummer might catch a cold, worried about
the drummer sudden changes of behaved. Not knowing what wrong with Shinya.
Again, Die remembers of the pervious night where Shinya mutter something in his
sleep. Figuring it up, Die finally get a mild conclusion.
“
Die…” Die turn and saw his lover standing behind him, calling him, looking
wired.
“
Shinya come here.” Die pulled Shinya to the sofa asking the later to sit beside
him. “ Can you tell me what wrong with you, please? I worried, you acting
wired.”
Shinya
had consider for a long time outside the balcony and decided to tell Die about
it. He is afraid that he might really do something that will lead him to the
worse situation; maybe Die may be able to help him is what he believed because
there is no others whom can help him now.
“
Die… I have something to tell you but before that, can you tell me do you love
me or Toshiya?”
Die
look disbelief, Shinya was asking him these question again even after he prove
so much to the drummer that he only love him now. But Die had also guessed
correctly that the changes in Shinya had something to do with the bassist.
“
I love you, only you now Shinya.” Die embraces his lover placing a kiss on him.
“ You should know by now, I have nothing to do Toshiya, he and I are just
bandmate and friend.”
“
That what I going to talk with you.”
“
About Toshiya?”
Shinya
nodded. Slowly, Shinya remove the bandage on his hand, showing out the slash
wound.
“
What are you doing?” Die was confused with his lover action.
“
This slash on my hand…” Shinya lifting his hand up and continue. “ It nearly
ended up on Toshiya.”
Die
was stun at the moment when he heard what his lover had said. Shinya as
shivering, his eyes start to redden.
“
That day at Kaoru place, I nearly stab Toshiya while all of you are asleep.”
Tears were dripping down Shinya face while he says it. “ I nearly killed
Toshiya.”
“
Do you know what you are saying now?”
“
I know and I mean it, I’m telling you the truth!”
Silent.
Shocked. Crying.
Shinya
understand clearly that Die love him now and only, but he just could not
control himself when he saw Toshiya and Die together. Even it is just the both
of them chatting, Shinya will starts losing his mind and start guessing on
them. He wanted badly to control himself but he can’t and everytime when he had
came to realize, it had come to a close end just like the time he was going to
stab Toshiya.
“
I had stopped this time but I felt I had start getting out of control. I might
killed Toshiya… I might killed him… I don’t want this to happen.” Shinya had
already broke down by now. “ Help me Die, I don’t want thing to end up like
that! I’m getting crazy…”
Something
flashes across Die mind suddenly. He remembers out of a sudden, he himself is
the main cause of this situation. If something bad really happened, no matter
who is the victim, he is always the main cause, he is the only one to be blame.
“
Shinya, I won’t let this thing happen.” Die held Shinya tightly. “ I promised.
But first of all, you must try to control yourself. Remember I always love you
and not Toshiya!”
Die
still hugging the crying Shinya.
I won’t blame you for this even if you had really killed Toshiya at
that time because I would take up the responsibility. I would die in your
place, for you and for Toshiya forgiveness…
The
next day both Toshiya and Kyo were on time for practice. When they enter the
room, they only see their leader and were later told that Die and Shinya would
not be coming today.
“
What wrong?”
“
I’m not sure but Die sound serious.”
“
Should we go over to have a look?”
“
I think we better not.”
The
three of them had no choice but to do some paper work. Few hours later, Kyo
came rushing into the room and mutter something to Toshiya then the bassist
gives an excuse and left earlier.
“
Where Toshiya going?” Kaoru asked when Toshiya walk out of the room.
“
Look outside for yourself!”
Kaoru
proceed to the window at the right time to see the bassist walking out of the
building. Toshiya was smiling, to someone; Kaoru follow Toshiya sight and
landed his view on…
GACKT!? WHAT HE HAS TO DO WITH TOSHIYA??
Kaoru widen his eyes and
stare at the pair. Toshiya and Gackt was chatting, seem to be something
important. After a while, Toshiya enter Gackt car and left with him.
GACKT? Gackt?
“ Kyo!” Kaoru yelled at the
vocalist as soon as Gackt car vanish from his sight. “ What Toshiya doing with
that guy?”
“
Why don’t you ask him yourself?”
Kaoru
look exactly like a cat, whose tail had been stepped by someone at this moment.
Anxious to see the one he loves with someone else and that guy happen to such a
charming guy.
Kyo
was ginning when he saw the anxious look on their ‘ always clam looking’ leader
face.
Kaoru:
=^^;;=
Die
sitting anxiously on the sofa waiting, sometime looking up at the close door
wondering how much longer must he had to wait. Just as he look up again, Shinya
opens the door and walk out with another man following behind him.
“
How is it?” Die asked while walking toward his lover.
The
man guide Shinya to a room and asked him to wait as he and Die proceed to
another room to have a talk. Shinya enter the room and waited anxiously.
“
So how is Shinya condition doctor?”
“ His condition is quite unstable. You must be
prepared to put in a lot of time and effort for him.”
The
doctor explains that Shinya main problem is he had been feeling insecure,
therefore Die had to spend lots of time with him to prevent him from having
this feeling. Secondly, Shinya needed lots of love and care, this is the
hardest thing for a patients family to provide because it need lot of effort.
Lastly, it will be best to avoid thing or people that will cause Shinya to have
this feeling.
“ I’ll give him some
medicine and make sure he eat it on time. Come back again in 1 month time and
I’ll see whether has his condition improve.”
“
Thanks.”
Die
left the room and gets the medicine from the counter before going into the room
to fetch Shinya. Shinya is looking better now after seeing the doctor but thing
had just start, it just the beginning for Shinya.
Kaoru
was wandering below Toshiya and Kyo apartment, waiting for the bassist to come
back although he is not sure whether had the bassist gone home. He is not
feeling good ever since Toshiya left with Gackt earlier on, he did not know
what is he doing here either nor what to say to the bassist if he really see
him.
“
Toshiya are you with Gackt?”
“ Toshiya what is your
relationship with Gackt?”
“
Toshiya what are you doing with Gackt?”
Nooo… this won’t do either.
Kaoru was covering his
face, squatting down on the floor trying hard to think of a way to ask the
bassist about his relation with Gackt. All he was afraid would be Toshiya
telling him that he and Gackt were lover out now.
“
Toshiya… what …”
“
Ehh Toshiya about…”
“
You calling me?” Toshiya jump out from nowhere, asking Kaoru who nearly jump up
from the fright.
“
Toshiya!” Kaoru exclaimed blushing. “ When have you been standing here?”
“
I’ve just came back and hear you muttering my name.”
Toshiya
smile at Kaoru, the older man was blushing hard. Just then a car horn was being
heard, both Kaoru and Toshiya look at the direction where the sound came from.
Kaoru narrow his eye upon seeing Gackt.
“
Sorry Gackt-san, almost forget you still waiting.” Toshiya said while walking
toward the man.
Gackt
bow slightly to Kaoru whom instantaneously bow back as a sign of politeness,
greeting one another.
“
Kaoru are you coming up with me?”
Kaoru
nodded, not wanting to give a slight chance for Gackt to be alone with the
bassist even if it is just for a while.
“
Gackt-san please wait for a while.”
Is Toshiya going out with
him again later? Where are they going at such late hour?
Kaoru
follow quietly behind the bassist.
“
Kaoru what are doing here at this hour?” Toshiya asked as soon as they enter
the lift. “ Kaoru?”
Kaoru
was looking at the bassist with a stern gaze. Toshiya smile faded to see the
changes at their leader face, feeling a bit nervous. “ Kaoru…”
Unexpectedly,
Kaoru pulled Toshiya toward his body and kiss the bassist soft lip. Toshiya was
shock by Kaoru sudden action and the force kisses but them he give in. Kaoru
smoothen his kisses when he feel the bassist giving in, slowly Toshiya open his
mouth slightly and allow Kaoru to explore inside his mouth.
The
door of the lift opens, Kaoru and Toshiya was still kissing passionately not
knowing the door had already open and they are now putting up free show to the
other person standing outside the door.
Few
minutes later…
“
Enough?” The question finally attracts Kaoru and Toshiya attention.
“
Kyo!” Both exclaimed.
Kaoru
and Toshiya were blushing hard to see their vocalist. “ It all your fault…” Toshiya
hit on Kaoru hand.
Kaoru
grinning like idiot, not knowing what to say.
“
Finish your work inside the house, I’m not coming back tonight.” Kyo said and
enter the lift, pushing the other two out. “ Have a nice night!”
“
KYO!!” Both yelled.
The
door of the lift closed up, leaving the embarrass Kaoru and Toshiya standing
there not knowing what they should do.
To
be continue…
By
Tsmrhara
[6/6/02]