Deep, deep
Part 17
Die was sitting down on the couch waiting anxiously for Toshiya to
come back while Shinya was attending to the wound on his face. Kaoru had harshly gave Die a punch on the face
earlier on, the very next moment when Kaoru see the cut on Toshiya’s face. Now
that Kaoru had accompany the bassist to have treatment on the face, the others
had went back to the studio to wait for them and the photo taking section had
to be cancelled.
The studio seems to have become a deserted place as no noise was given
out by any of them. Kyo did not utter a word, feeling worried, knowing that the
situation was not going to end like this. Kaoru murderous glare and Toshiya
unexpected calmness earlier on, all this will soon turns into something
dreadful.
Gosh! Totchi would not let the matter rest if there is
scar left down on his face!! Kaoru never let Die off if someone upset his
love!!
Kyo was making all type of facial expression! Hugging his head and
imagine the outcome. Forcing himself to think of a solution before the other two get back
and start a fight with the red head and ended up with the disbandment of Dir en
Grey. If it was him whom had injured his face, thing
will be better because he would not even care but it was Toshiya!! Someone whom
care for his appearance more than anything else!
“ My God!” Kyo was
now knocking his head on the wall.
Shinya was staring at the vocalist, feeling worried. “ Is Kyo alright?” He asked his lover who is in no mood at
listening to him.
Toshiya eyes… just now when he look at me… the pair of
fearful and sad eyes… I hurt him again!?
Die frowned, rubbing his forehead.
Shinya look at his lover, knowing clearly what Die might be
thinking about. Showing displeasure on his face, the drummer walks back to his
drum. Recalling back, Shinya was also shock by what his lover had done but then
when he sees the bassist injured face, Shinya felt like laughing though he
didn’t.
“ Die!” Shinya
called the second time when he notices that his lover was not giving him any
attention.
Die was still dazed, sometime looking at his watch, wondering what is
taking the bassist so long, sometime looking at the door hoping they would be
back soon. All this moment, he had forgotten his lover who is now glaring at
him, starting to feel insecure.
“ Die…!” Shinya
muttered a bit soft.
No responded from his lover.
Feeling frustrated, Shinya walks out of the studio, finally getting
his lover attention, as Die thinking that Kaoru and Toshiya had returned.
Shinya stopped suddenly, Die standing up as both saw Kaoru and Toshiya. Just
simply one look at Kaoru, anyone could tell that the leader was in an extremely
bad mood. Toshiya was half hidden behind their leader.
Shinya stood unmoved, Kaoru was looking inside the studio, and his
eyes were focused on the red head. Die gulped, the very first time he was so
frighten of his friend.
“ Toshiya… how’s your…eh
face?” Kyo exclaimed at first when he knows Toshiya is back but he was taken
aback by the look of Kaoru.
Just as everyone were feeling perturbed, no one dared to start the
next speech, Toshiya giggle suddenly much to everyone surprised.
“ I’m alright, don’t
look so worry you guys.”
“ Would there be scar?”
Kyo take the rise to ask this question.
Die was tense when the question is ask, praying hard that the bassist
face going to to be as beautiful as before. Shinya was totally opposite of his
lover, hoping the scar would remain.
“ Not sure, the
doctor didn’t confirm it.” Toshiya simply answer with a smile.
Die and Kyo was stunned. The bassist was still smiling when he don’t
even know what going to happen to his face, still taking thing so easy? It’s
not like Toshiya.
Kaoru just remained quiet, knowing clearly
that it’s not what the bassist truth feeling, knowing Toshiya was not speaking
out from his heart. Earlier on, the bassist was still trembling, crying in his
hand, feeling worry about the scar matter. There’s nowhere he going to be fine
but he had ask Kaoru to keep it from the others.
“ Is it? You won’t
be the beautiful bassist of Dir en Grey if there’s going to be a scar on that
beautiful face of yours.” Shinya speak out suddenly,
stunning everyone.
“ Shinya!” Die
exclaimed, staring at his lover, can’t believe what he had heard from the
drummer.
Shinya stormed out of the studio, knocking Toshiya shoulder and at the
very same moment, Toshiya notice the glare given to him by the drummer.
“ Shinya!” Die run
after his lover.
Fuck! I shouldn’t have shouted at him, especially in
from of Toshiya… what am I doing!?
Toshiya clutched onto Kaoru hand tightly as soon as Die and Shinya
had gone. His body was shaking, mostly because of what the drummer had say earlier on. Kaoru turn around, not uttering a word,
gently, he embrace the younger man into his arm.
“ It
going to be fine, Totchi… just ignore what Shinya had said.” Kaoru whispered at
Toshiya ear.
Kyo looking at them partly had guessed rightly that Toshiya just
did not want them, especially Die to let this matter
get onto him. Kaoru was very mad at Die but what makes him angrier was what the
drummer had said to Toshiya. Kaoru would never believe Shinya would say this
entire thing if it weren’t he had heard it himself.
“ Shinya,
wait!” Die yelled; finally got hold of his lover arm.
Shinya struggled to push him off but could not. Die hold his lover
face up, noticing that his lover was crying, his anger smoothen down, not
wanting to blame him for what he had say to Toshiya.
“ Sorry,
I didn’t mean to yell at you… just that…”
“ I know
I shouldn’t have say that to Toshiya but I don’t know why, at that time I just
felt like saying it… I don’t know why…”
“ It
okay, Shinya just calm down, remember what the doctor told you? Don’t let your
anger overcome you.”
“ I must
have hurt him… we know he care for his looks so much… will he forgive me if I
apologize to him?”
Die did not answer this question, all he
did was dry the tears on Shinya face, trying all he can to calm his lover down.
He did not know either, will Toshiya forgive him if there’s really scar. He
could not forgive himself either…
The following few days, everything seems fine. Toshiya coming to
practice as usual, laughing and joking with the others and mostly, he was not
angry at the drummer. Shinya somehow feel guilty toward what he had say had
apologized to Toshiya who ended the uneasiness with a joke.
Everything just seems so fine until the moment Die approaches Toshiya
to tell him something about the new lyric. Shinya and Die was sitting together
with the bassist discussing when an insect stop on Toshiya head, Die saw it
knowing that the bassist might be afraid of it had try to chase it away.
“ DON”T…!”
Toshiya exclaimed the moment Die hand comes near to him.
Everyone stops their work when they heard Toshiya. Die was surprise
by the bassist reaction until he realizes Toshiya was not playing with him. The
bassist was shaking somehow, eyes staring wide at the red head.
“ Toshiya…?”
Die was taken aback.
“ Don’t
touch him.”
Kaoru pushed Die away, harshly, probably still angry at Die for
hurting the bassist. Toshiya finally regain his sense, just had realized he
actually think Die was going to hurt him again, feeling frighten of Die
therefore he yelled.
Die dislikes me!
Toshiya believed.
The day ended with Die getting upset of himself for what he had
cause to the bassist. Shinya in the
other hand was hiding his good mood, feeling less worry that Die would go back
to Toshiya because the bassist was scared of Die.
Kaoru was drying his hair as he walk out of the bathing room, he
see Toshiya sitting in front of the mirror, staring blankly at the mirror.
“ Totchi
what are you doing?” Kaoru ask concern.
“ There
will be a scar! You see that cut didn’t you?” Toshiya mutter softly, still
looking into the mirror.
Kaoru walks to the younger man; standing behind him and hug him
from behind. Not knowing how to console the man he love, this is a different
situation, he could not promise him that there were not be a scar though he
know how worried Toshiya is.
“ Will
you still love me if I’m disfigure?”
Kaoru was surprised by the younger man question, unexpected Toshiya
would ask him this. Toshiya have not agreed to be his lover but now he is
asking Kaoru this question… what does he mean?
Kaoru was unsure.
“ Kaoru?
Will you?” Toshiya asked again.
“ No
matter how you have become, my love for you will never change.” Kaoru answer
seriously.
Toshiya give a smile… probably a fake one unknown to Kaoru.
You hesitated didn’t you? You did not answer me
directly! I know you will mind.
“ I love
you Totchi!”
Toshiya was still smiling at the older man but not from his heart.
Die dumped me even I was so beautiful at that time… he
always tell me how beautiful I am but still he dumped me. How can I believe you
will still love me if I’m disfigured?
Kaoru was still happily thinking that Toshiya had finally decides
to accept his love but at this very moment, he would never believe that the man
sitting in front of him, smiling sweetly at him had seal up his feeling one
more time.
I dared not love Kaoru! I always thought you can
unseal my heart but…
To be continue…
By Tsmrhara
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