big big interactive!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's the best book I've read in the past decade.
You can put me, once again, on the cover saying so.
Much better than Snow Falling on Cedars.
I got it and it looks great. People are lining up to borrow it at the office.
-- Anthony Spaeth, correspondent, TIME magazine
I've lived, traveled and worked in Thailand for 23 years, and when I'm asked to cite references on the commercial sex scene in Thailand this book always occupies the top of the list.
No one says it as well as the women themselves, and I found these interviews to be very credible.
The foreword, by a Thai academic, was also among the more enlightening essays I've read on this topic.
Should be read by any male or female contemplating an entree into Thailand's "demi-monde".
-- Joe J. Cummings, author of *Lonely Planet* guidebooks to Thailand
"Hello My Big Big Honey!"...very funny...
-- Publishers Weekly
I also really enjoyed your book -- well done!
Are you working on another one?
-- Nury Vittachi, *Travellers' Tales* columnist, Far Eastern Economic Review magazine
Bangkok by the Book!
"Honey!" is a collection of love letters to Bangkok bar girls -- written by their "farang" [foreign] clients. A recent rave declares, "At the core of this amazing document are the interviews with the bar girls themselves," and describes the range of feelings a girl can have about her client -- "from the rankest capitalist contempt to the most tender compassion."
(And why not? There are 24 hours in a day, after all.)
"Honey!" is an obsessive look at romantic and financial need...
The letters from these men to their paid companions are sometimes delusional and sometimes quite practical.
I did end up caring (albeit briefly) about the guys who wrote them -- but it's better to have cared briefly than never to have cared at all.
(And that might even be the moral of this book.)
-- Tracy Quan, author of Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl
Congrats.
I am extremely happy for your latest publishing venture.
Will you be doing a book tour of the U.S.?
Larry King Live, etc.
I should write to Oprah and suggest she put the book on her recommended reading list and invite you on her show.
-- Jonathan Landay, Knight Ridder correspondent, Washington D.C.
Squandomino!
You're a monster, man. No longer will tourists schlep to the British Library to see where Karl Marx toiled over Das Kapital. "Hello My Big Big Honey!" takes the cake.
Keep up the good work.
-- Jim Wolf, Reuters correspondent, Washington D.C.
I think your book would be appropriate reading for college and university classes in tourism and travel, women's rights and gender studies.
-- Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Library
I'm just back from New York City where i spied "Hello My Big Big Honey!" in a giant window display just off Park Avenue. cool.
big, mainstream, shiny, like a cool Barnes and Noble or something like that
big front window with Big Big Honeys stage left.
the kind of bookstore window where people walk up and read the titles.
Jodi's yelling from the other side of the study that it could have been 5th avenue instead.
sunny side of the street. you get the general idea.
If the exact name or cross street comes to me i'll let you know -- if i'd had my camera i really would have zapped the shot for you.
nice to see you've gone uptown ;)
hope all's well,
-- Caitlin Fisher, Ph.d.
Assistant Professor
Arts Cultural Studies
Faculty of Fine Arts
York University
Toronto, Canada
I'm a writer on "The Simpsons" who liked "Hello..." a whole bunch.
Good thoughts to you,
-- George Meyer
I have been doubled up laughing with your dark bestseller.
-- Dominic Faulder, foreign correspondent, Bangkok
Many BangkokAtoZ.com visitors are already familiar with this book, which is an excellent one that reveals much about Thai bar girls' attitudes, thoughts, hopes, and fears through their love letters and interviews with them.
The book is now available in the United States through Amazon.com and is a must-read for anyone with even a passing interest in Thailand.
Take the time to read and reflect on the contents of this wonderful book, especially if you're a man planning on coming to The Land of Smiles in search of love.
While it's a fact that a *few* men have succeeded in courting and wedding bar girls (and staying wed to them for many years, raising families), it's a larger fact that most don't succeed.
This book is considered a classic in Asia, especially among Old Thai Hands, and in the view of many ought to be required reading for anyone planning on coming here and checking out the night life.
-- Bangkok AtoZ.com
Ever since Thailand became known as the newest and best sin city for foreign men to visit to have sex with impoverished yet attractive Thai women, a deluge of these men land daily at Thai airports expecting to find the romance and lust often denied them in their home lands.
What these men usually discover is that any romance that develops is based on a pay as you go basis. In "Hello My Big Big Honey!", Dave Walker and Richard Ehrlich try to explain why. The authors see the Bangkok sex scene as the natural outcropping of a degraded culture that has only its women to peddle. In such a lurid, transient environment, the focus of money for sex must be limited to the here and now.
Any foreign man with even a minimum of sense and dollars can surely score in any of dozens of sleazy clip joints. In a series of interviews with bargirls, hookers, and transsexuals, Walker and Ehrlich clarify to the next deluge of incoming men that these are working girls, all of whom count the success of a relationship in the minutes spent to earn those western dollars.
It is hardly the fault of these Thai women if they soon realize that calling their newest boyfriend 'Big Honey' and other such of similar ilk, can only gratify him into spending more money on her (and her family) or -- and this is what each Thai lady dreams of -- finding a western man thinking that he will 'deliver' her from a life of vice by taking her back to his country for marriage.
In this latter case, the man will certainly send money to her on a regular basis, with her promising all the while that she will be loyal in return.
The letters that these men write back and forth reveal a breathtaking lack of brains that they, with all their degrees, find out later that these women were always one step ahead.
In defense of the men who are surrounded by willing, attractive Thai ladies who offer themselves at what to these men seem like bargain prices, it is not difficult to overlook the more obvious and higher bill that is sure to be presented later.
-- martin asiner, jersey city, new jersey, u.s.a.
"Hello My Big Big Honey!"
Very Funny....
-- Nikki
"Hello My Big, Big Honey!" Love Letters to Bangkok Bar Girls" has become rightfully legendary, describing the lives and scams of bar girls, through interviews and letters.
Several bar girls are interviewed, and their letters to and from overseas westerners are eye-opening.
Note: versions bought in the U.S. contain pictures, while editions in Thailand (printed earlier) do not.
Our recommendation?
Buy this book in the U.S. [or through Amazon.com etc]
--Oasis Media: The Expat Experience
Subject: you are Mr. Money, the big spender
This is the right moment to mention it again, I guess:
Thai people have a completely different comprehension regarding money - and time, but this a different story.
You have to accept that you are Mr. Money, the big spender, the walking ATM for your Thai partner and your Thai partner is not the born spelling bee because honey is spelled in Thai m - o - n - e - y, got it?
Now you will understand the title of the book "Hello My Big Big Honey!" edited by Dave Walker and Richard S. Ehrlich.
It is a must to read it before you fall head over heels in love with a Thai tee rak darling.
This is no reason to let hang down the head. You are in good company, at least there are two members; you and me.
Well, how to handle it the right way?
whenever you talk about money define the amount and date
whenever you give her money to show how much you appreciate her company give it to her when she is leaving you
whenever she is asking you to give her money for her ill mother back home, for the unpaid mobile-phone-bill, for the monthly rent of her apartment, try to do it personally if possible. At least ask her to present the receipt.
and whenever you want her to 'get out of the marsh' and you are going to pay her an English teaching school, for instance, pay the school directly.
It is not only my idea.
...and do not be surprised if your tee rak is asking for money the way my Thai lady does it: 'Tang!' money! with a straight look into the eyes and a irresistible smile.
No garuna please, no kiss in advance to make me melt like a snowflake on a hot stone.
I cannot help it: I love her irresistible smile.
Hey!
What's happening!
Camping under the redwoods or hunkered down in some sleazy no-tell motel, I find words of inspiration from your book.
I find that just a couple of letters usually do me, get me back in the Bangkok state o' mind.
-- John Hail, foreign correspondent
I read half of this before I lost it, and found it ?fascinating and strangely sweet.
-- From: mishkah / Subject: Re: What do you want for Christmas? / Newsgroups: alt.fashion
Getting my stuff together to fly back I found the
newspaper clipping you sent.
And the book "Hello My Big Big Honey!"
All about Thai ladies.
If only I had read it before I went
there !
I should listen to you.
Sorry.
Yuri Velasquez / soc.culture.thai
Recently I picked up a book called "Hello My Big Big Honey!" a compilation of love letters from foreign men to some of the bar girls who work in the Patpong area.
"Love? In Patpong?" one of the authors writes.
"Love is one four-letter word rarely mentioned in stories about Asia's sex industry."
(Especially, I must add, in the local books that line stores' shelves in Thailand - all of which are written by western men - further explor/oiting the sex industry, this time through words. They tend to be poorly written and two-dimensional, but then so are most of the books available, anywhere, for recreational reading.)
Honey has a different tone, because it's not an autobiography (thinly disguised to avoid prosecution) but is transcribed directly - it's written in the voices of those involved.
I also wanted to understand more of what I walk past every day, on that side of the street.
For Bangkok is like anywhere else: divisions between neighborhoods, wealth and poverty, and life and death can be like sharpened steel.
--posted by emily : 4:29 PM
Under the "Customers who viewed this book also viewed" section, one of my favorite books is listed: "Hello My Big Big Honey!"
Basically, this is the best title for any book I have ever seen, and the fact that I accidentally found this gem at a musty secondhand store in the dogshit slums of Bangkok only endears it further.
I don't remember much about the story except that it was sad...
--Justin
Reading "Hello My Big Big Honey!" Love Letters to Bangkok Bar Girls and Their Revealing Interviews made me really think about these things deeply.
Seeing all of these perverted losers walking around with girls (who, if approached back in the states by these guys would be methodically hosing them with pepper spray) made me feel queasy to the point where I could not finish my pizza.
Then again, some of the couples in the book ended up getting married and supposedly living happily together.
Life is strange.
I don't think that the sex trade is bad in general.
In fact, I think that it is an important service, just like therapy, massage, and other treatments that people pay for to remain happy and in good health.
Hell, legalize it and throw the money raised from taxes into our educational system.
Then it could be regulated like any other legitimate business and held to higher standards while at the same time, contributing to our society.
-- Posted by Adam
Higo Blog
Hi Richard
It's bloody cold in Warsaw.
I liked your book, it's funny and good for holiday, especially in
Thailand. (You can quote me on the next edition's cover).
Maybe I use
some excerpts from a few letters as a side-bar for my story...
Thailand is abstract in Poland...
All the best,
--Gazeta Wyborcza
"Hello My Big Big Honey!" is the title of a book I see in virtually every English language bookstore in Thailand.
It's a mixture of interviews with, and love letters to, Thai bar girls, showing the complexities and emotional attachment that often occurs between those farang who frequent these bars and the girls themselves...
There's a slew of favourable reviews from Time and the like.
Fascinating stuff.
--posted by Chris
splinters: books, art, music, politics, ideas
East meets West on the Patpong Road
"Hello My Big Big Honey!" seeks to shed light on the mystery of the « romantic » relationships which can spring up between Bangkoks bar girls and their farang (foreign) sex-tourist customers, sometimes even leading to marriage.
For me, however, the letters at the centre of this book were paradoxically the least interesting part of it.
Unwittingly amusing at times, but flat and repetitive with their endless mantra of « I love you, I miss you, heres the money/sorry I cant send you any money », the missives from the deluded and besotted farangs to the girls they left behind quickly blend into one.
The depth of their delusion becomes clear from the interviews with the girls.
Money is the motor for these largely uneducated women from poor rural backgrounds who often have parents and siblings to support - and sometimes a Thai husband as well.
The phenomenon they describe is fascinating, however, and the sections surrounding the letters make the book well worth reading.
Walkers preface gives the background to the bar culture, Ehrlichs raunchy introduction sets the scene and Dr Yos Santasombat from Bangkok University analyses the sociological differences between prostitution east and west.
The book concludes with a set of revealing interviews with bar owners (including some rather unorthodox advice on avoiding disease!) and an epilogue by Mrs Tantrakul, translator of many letters, and unofficial advisor to the girls who ponders on the future of those who do marry and leave.
--Pedez Recommends
I was in a bookstore looking for a guidebook to Vietnam and decided to pick up a locally published book on the bar girls of [Thailand's] infamous Patpong Road for a little more insight, hoping for some kind of light at the end of the tunnel.
What I read was very interesting.
It's called, "Hello My Big Big Honey" and it's written by Dave Walker and Richard S. Ehrlich.
One of these guys came up with the idea for the book and recruited the other who is a Columbia School of Journalism graduate and won some award from them in 1978.
I figured it couldn't be too sleazy.
The book, it turns out, was an ethnography of men who had come to Bangkok in search of a little fun, but ended up falling in love (real or only professed, it's difficult to tell) with the bar girls that they originally rented.
The book is a collection of interviews with bar girls and letters that men from around the world have sent them after returning home from their Bangkok adventure.
And it was utterly fascinating, both with regards to the insights into the women who do this work and the men who purchase their services.
The first thing that shocked me was that most of the girls doing this work are doing it to in some way support their family, unlike most western prostitutes who are often doing it to support a drug habit.
Thai culture is traditionally matrilineal, which if I remember my anthropology 101 means that the land is passed down through the women of the family.
So rather than the burden of keeping the family farm up and running being on the oldest son, it is placed on the shoulders of the oldest daughter.
There are not many job opportunities for poorly educated provincial girls, so many of the girls that come to work in Bangkok are doing so at least in part to support their aging mother or parents.
So, as a result of this, men who become involved with these bar girls, as apparently happens, also become involved with their families, particularly in that they are expected to provide financial support not only to the girl, but also to her family.
He professes love, and she professes to return his love but only so long as he can provide financial support to her family, which as these letters show, can be extremely confusing to a western man who does not make the same connection between love and financial support that the Thai do.
But I've skipped a little.
The preface to the book includes a little about how this all happens.
The girls interviewed for this book are called Bar Girls.
They work in a bar where they flirt with men and encourage men to buy drinks.
Most of the bar girls receive a salary for doing this, but they are usually also for sale.
Perhaps the first misunderstanding in all of this is that when a man goes into one of these bars, unlike when he might go to see a Western prostitute, there is no discussion of a transaction.
The girls are there to make him drink and feel good and will compliment him, pay attention to him, gush over him.
If he wants to leave the bar with the girl, he must pay a "bar fine", which is compensation to the bar for taking the girl with him, but the whole exchange is typically not done as it is in the west - as an obvious negotiated transaction.
Which is more tasteful by Asian standards, but by western standards it can be quite confusing for the men, despite the obvious fact that they came there to BUY a woman, since the whole thing is set up to make it seem like this girl really likes him.
So what happens next?
They spend his whole vacation together and she gives him her address to write to her.
Some of the men seem to think they can "take her away from all this" while others seem to ignore the fact that she is still doing what she was doing when HE met her.
But if they stay in contact, she almost always asks for money.
Sometimes they actually do get married and the girl goes to the man's country.
The estimates are that these marriages seldom work out, although the women doing this work do have a motivation to find a guy to marry them since when they hit 30 the industry is no longer so good to them.
But overall, the odds are not good and in large part it seems to be this inital premise - she wants a provider for her and her family, he wants her unconditional love.
Anyway, what did I get out of all this?
I guess a little perspective.
It's still exploitation and it's the demand that brings these girls out from the farm.
But sometimes the money they earn this way gives them better opportunities than they would have otherwise, even if they settled down and married a nice Thai boy - which they sometimes do even after a career as a bar girl.
As for the men?
Well, I am less angry at them and more sad for them.
It sounds like many of them are really just losers in their own culture which why they come here for attention and paid affection.
And ironically, even when they just come here for fun it seems many are more emotionally vulnerable than might be expected - falling dangerously in love with these women whose affections they have merely rented.
-- Heather Krause
"Hello My Big Big Honey!"
I cannot help it: I love her irresistible smile. Are you going to fall in love?
Do you plan to marry a Thai lady?
Then you are out of control for sure, but may be there is a cure if you read this book attentively.
The authors collected letters written by men of various nationalities to Thai ladies, thus your buddies.
The letters are complemented with interviews of Thai ladies...
-- single as tourist
Chasing the Dream Girls of Bangkok:
"Hello My Big Big Honey!" is, all in all, a good read.
It's also a useful book, particularly for those parties curious about this neon-lit sex world of Thailand, as well as readers intent on eventually visiting this Southeast Asian capital of nocturnal lust.
Not only through these love letters, but -- even more strikingly -- through poignant interviews with bar girls, bar owners, and other peripheral agents involved with the Bangkok sex scene, "Hello My Big Big Honey!" offers an engagingly insightful -- frequently far from 'black-and-white' -- look at the foreign men and the bar-room hookers with whom they've fallen in both love and lust...
The love letters in "Hello My Big Big Honey!" are similarly eclectic in terms of the composers' ages and nationalities.
There are letters from foreign men (referred to in Thai as 'farang') who are young and old (from early 20s to late 60s), living in New Zealand, Germany, Japan, Switzerland, Korea, Australia, and America.
And what I found immensely satisfying about these letters was the genuine sensitivity that the farang frequently expressed towards Bangkok bar hookers.
The guys show concern about the ladies possibly contracting AIDS. Anger towards tricks who might force the ladies into having sex without using a condom. Worry about these bar girls' families, to whom the latter typically show great devotion...
for the most part, the gents are a well-meaning lot, successfully challenging the stereotype of the sleazy john But whom exactly is it that these guys are going so goo-goo gah-gah over? A photo caption in "Hello My Big Big Honey!" perfectly captures the magnetism of the typical Thai prostitute: They emit 'a lure of hilarity, raunch and innocence.' And not necessarily in that order...
I can definitely see why some guys would have a hard time forgetting these vixens.
And, indeed, I can see why they'd begin writing them letters to stay in touch, before their inevitable or indeterminate return to the Land of Smiles...
"Hello My Big Big Honey!" is quite funny, too, despite its heavy subject matter. Many of the farang [foreign men], the hookers, and bar owners really open up.
"Hello My Big Big Honey!" is truly helpful and frequently entertaining...
-- Spectator magazine, California
For Those Intrigued by the Nightlife Check out...Hello my Big Big Honey....an enlightening read proving many Thai women are much more intelligent than the foreign men who seek them out!
-- Nancy Chandler
Most books are bound with the hooves of crushed horses.
This book is bound with the dreams of crushed men.
-- Mike Basham
...With books like "The Damage Done" and "Hello My Big Big Honey" etc in hand I head off for Hatyai in my Air Con Train compartment...
-- whorist.com
Advice to guys who are in love already, or are coming here to look for it: There is a lot of propaganda about Thai women, all aimed at getting you to feel comfy with the idea of paying for sex.
To balance that I would recommend you read a book called "Hello my Big Big Honey" before you get here or after you return home from your lover and start to worry.
It is a quite cynical book in many ways, perhaps the opposite type of propaganda, but there is so much crap written about the scene that it is better to get a balance and this book helps you understand the other side of things better.
The truth lies probably between the two extremes as usual and because it is human beings we are talking about, the truth will change with the environment and mood of each individual.
To foreign women heading here, please do not assume that every guy you see with every girl is a sex tourist and look down at them.
Soi and I do not go out in Patong much for this reason.
There are over 5,000 ex pats here, and a lot of them are happily married to loving and devoted Thai partners.
-- www.funkyguide.com/bars/asisterhood.htm
...Jan gave me a copy of a book he brought in Thailand called Hello My Big Big Honey.
It was all about how Thai bar girls ripped of stupid foreigners.
Some girls have three or four boyfriends sending them money while they still work as prostitutes. It did make me think, but as Noi had never asked me for money, apart from 3000 baht for her passport, I felt sure she was different from the girls in the book...
-- www.pattayapages.com/girls/mike.html
Hello My Big Big Honey
Do you still have this book?
I was looking for it all over and I figured T still had it, so if you've got it, it's a big load off my mind.
I HATE losing books.
Posted by Justin at 11:59 AM
Alas, sorry, your book is almost certainly a victim of Mimi's evil
totalitarian regime.
I read the whole book at T's house, and left it there.
Sorry.
Posted by Adam at 12:46 PM
-- www.cosmicbuddha.com
Dispatch from Thailand
Inside the Bangkok bar girl scene
You've probably heard about the fleshly delights of Bangkok. But sometimes sex tourism gets a little complicated. Especially when visiting men fall in love with Thai prostitutes, who are often not alienated from their immediate families and communities like many Western prostitutes.
If you're interested in what Bangkok is all about -- the sex districts, the types of girls, the attitudes and reasons why -- you might be interested in Hello, My Big Big Honey: Letters to Bangkok's Bar Girls and Their Revealing Interviews by Richard S. Ehrlich and Dave Walker.
The book contains many actual love letters sent by foreign men to bar girls, as well as information about the night life through interviews with bar girls, bar owners, and other players in the Bangkok sex scene.
-- SexNews Daily!
Hi,
I ran across your book. Sounds interesting.
I spent nearly a year in Thailand mostly in Chiang-Mai where I had a guest-hosue and I travelled in the NorthEast (like NKP along the Mekong).
Of course the business was a bust :) but I had a helluva time there.
As I spent some time there I read books and tried to keep sober.
It was my impression that poor families would use their daughters as collateral for loans.
Of course everyone knows of Patpong but there are innumerable other places all over the country in the places you'd least suspect such trade which led me to believe in that accusation.
I never met anyone who confirmed it...
-- Peter J. Schoenster
That there is prostitution in Thailand is a fact. I want to mention one book about the subject, because it really is special. The title is "Hello My Big Big Honey!" and it consists of love letters written by former "clients" to Thai prostitutes as well as interviews with some of the girls. This shows you the differences between prostitution in Thailand and in Western countries, as well as the attitude of the girls who work in that business.
It is a big eye-opener. If you are looking for "juicy stories", don't buy this book. It is a sad reality that will be shown to you. Sad from the point of view from both sides. It also shows the big Culture Shock between Thai prostitutes and their Western "clients".
-- Rene Hasekamp, Patent Examiner at the Dutch Patent Office, and deputy judge at the District Court ("Arrondissementsrechtbank") in the Hague, Netherlands
I read it from cover to cover.
Great stuff, especially the copy at the front and back of the book, which I enjoyed even more than the interviews.
The most interesting quotes came from the bar owners, who really revealed more about the business and the girls, than the girls themselves.
I love your book and hope it does well in the American market, plus I can always add it to my recommended reading lists in my various guidebooks to South East Asia.
-- Carl Parkes, San Francisco, California
Travel writer with Moon Publications and author of their *Thailand Handbook* along with the forthcoming *National Geographic Thailand*
...the book made a bigger impact on how I view Thailand and the fact that I'm half Thai.
How my heart really goes out to these women and how my mom has been away from Thailand for the past 20 years.
But also how my father was on vacation the time he met my mother.
In the back of my head I've always had thoughts that perhaps my mother was one of these bar girls because she has never fully gone into detail of how they met.
"We were introduced by friends. I worked at a zoo."
That's all I know!
It never made sense since my mom didn't speak an ounce of English when they met.
I'm very curious but I don't want to disrespect my mom and ask if she was a bargirl (she'd slap me upside my head) hehe.
Not to mention she'd probably deny it.
Your book has brought insight and how much struggle these women have to go through to make ends meet and even how my mom could be considered lucky to have left a bad situation and found her "white man."
The book was very thought provoking and it really struck a nerve with me...
Now if I can only save up to head back to see my family!
-- say "a female reader in
the US" or words to that effect
I am thai girl and hello my big big honey is a very good story for thai and foreigner to understand about the lady who work bar and the man who love the bar girl.
-- by: wannah7
I stumbled onto your book accidently doing some searching on another web site and thought it might be an interesting read.
Sincerely,
-- C. R. Bower
many (not all!) bar girls want to get out of that life, and when they have found a foreigner they like or love, they can become very good wives.
Before you ever decide to marry a bar girl, I strongly advise you to read the book "Hello My Big Big Honey!"
This book answers all the questions you might have about bar girls much better than I ever could.
-- Thailand FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
Relationships with Thai women
I've just had some experiences in Pattaya that I'm trying to make sense of and discovered your book on a website and then picked up the review on Amazon where you offered to send an excerpt.
I'm so curious!
Could you please send the excerpt to me here?
I'm sure I'll buy the book when I return to the States, but wanted to get a jump on it!
-- Chad Stephenson
Having reveiwed your book via Amazon.com, and also living in Bangkok now, i would be very interested to receive the 20 page excerpt you refer to.
Many thanks
-- Pete Roxburgh
fascinating
a very cool book that says as much (if not more) about the West as it does about Thai bar girls.
-- A reviewer, always on the side of the bar grrl
"Oh, sweet Jesus!"
-- (An anonymous visitor who briefly appeared at the "Hello My Big Big Honey!" book signing and exhibition site held at the *Wondercon 2001 Convention* in the Oakland Convention Center, Oakland, California)
I read extracts from your book, "Hello My Big Big Honey!" in a magazine recently and found it very entertaining.
I have spent quite a lot of time in Thailand myself and recognise the scenarios very well.
-- Ian C. Stewart
Glascgow, Scotland
Thank you very much for the copy of "Hello My Big Honey!"
I've dipped into it and find the letters both interesting and disturbing.
The yawning chasm between perceptions is enormous as the yearning and loneliness expressed by the men.
I wonder how many men who read it will perceive it that way, however.
Good job in making plain the truths that elude (delude?) so many.
Best,
-- Steve van Beek, author of Slithering Down the Mekong
I read "Hello My Big Big Honey!" prior to going to Thailand, have re-read it cover to cover after returning home, and am now buying 3 copies for friends.
Your observations and quotations are spot-on, and this book is a must-read for anyone delving in the bar scene there.
My friend and I each found girlfriends when we were there, and, as single guys, we're going back to determine the next step.
I've never really gotten along with American girls (I'm from San Jose, California), and found Thai girls to be charming.
One of the biggest challenges for farang [foreigner] is what I call "connecting" with a girl (as opposed to sleeping with her).
My buddy and I slept with a few girls there, but each of us found an emotional connection with only one.
In our conversations with our girls, we found their opinions coincided with many of those offered in the book, although we took things a step further, in determining some of the individual economics of girls in that scene.
Pretty interesting stuff.
Incidentally, we loved the toothpaste story so much that we were determined to track down that bar owner, and pay our respects.
In 3 weeks we're going back to Bangkok, to see our girls, figure out if there's a relationship possibility, or if we're really dreaming.
If the former, we'll be looking at business opportunities, no sense taking our girls away from friends and family.
Anyway...thanks for a great book that gets better with time.
Wish you were back in San Francisco so you could autograph it for me.
Maybe we'll run into you in Bangkok some time.
-- Geoff Alexander
This book is a cautionary tale.
I wish more men would listen to it.
Cheers,
-- Anne Marie Ruff
I love your book "Hello My Big Big Honey!"
-- Robbert van Ham
I am an American law student and I am going to be
visiting Thailand for the first time this December
with one of my friends who is in medical school.
I am interested in Thai Law and culture and would appreciate the free excerpt from your book as well as any other advice you may have for us.
Thank You,
-- Josh Marcus
First:
I would like to thank you and congratulate you on writing an excellent book.
I have lived in South East Asia for two years and learned the "rules of the game" the hard way.
I wish I had read your book two years ago.
Not only is it educational, it is entertaining as well.
My applause to you.
Second:
I am creating a Thailand web site and would like to include some excerpts from your book.
How can this be arranged?
Thank you for a wonderful book and taking the time to reply to this e-mail.
-- John F.X. Berns
It is almost two weeks since my escapade in Thailand.
It was great seeing you and Nana has certainly overtaken Patpong and Soi Cowboy...
More important, thanks for the book -- it is interesting reading, getting an insight into how the girls feel about their lives and the men in their lives.
-- Andrew
Been skimming through your book and it really looks very interesting.
I wish I had got it sent through sooner.
-- Birgitte Johnson
I am considering a long distance relationship with a
Thai Bar Girl.
I left Thailand almost 4 weeks ago and had a very emotional good-bye with one girl I spent
alot of time with while I was there.
She told me before I left that she was quitting the bar and quitting prostitution.
I am not sure if I should believe her or if I should even care.
Anyway I saw your book on Amazon.com and saw that you offered a 20-page excerpt from the book.
If the offer still stands I am interested.
I would also be interested in any advice you might have.
I do not know how to tell if I am one of many guys she has sending her money.
I try to catch her in lies but it really is hard to do with the language situation.
She does email me and I know the bars have email systems set up but there is no way to really know.
That's all for now.
-- Steve
I've read about your book "Hello My Big Big Honey!" and I'm very interested.
Kindly send me the 20-page excerpt.
I will definitely buy it for my "farang" friend as a present if I do like the excerpt.
Thank you.
-- Kris
Various websites have about 10% of the total work.
While this sampler strategy is all the rage with publishers, this is one of the few that just anybody (anybody with an Internet connection, that is) can get the sample.
This book contains copies of love letters between Thai prostitutes and foreign men who have fallen in love with them.
There are also interviews with some of the parties involved, and lengthy analysis of why an otherwise successful foreign businessman would go all the way to Thailand to find love with a woman whose self-esteem is likely to be not much lower than his own.
The book, or even this sample of it, should be of interest to the readers of AsiaPhile and Third World Traveller.
Bear in mind that many of the relationships don't pan out afterall.
-- etext
A terrifyingly prescient portrait of Bangkok's bar scene.
Travels from bar to bar to report on a world of warring and mesmerizing love affairs.
A gritty tour de force of writing and journalism that is walking through a bar in Nana Plaza or climbing the steep dangerous steps to a second-story disco in Patpong.
Purveys the most startling truths.
Intimate and intrepid, erudite and visceral, "Hello My Big Big Honey!" is an unflinching look at the places and peoples that make up Bangkok's red light district.
An impressive work. Pertinent and compelling. I know of nothing else which treats so extensively and capably so many aspects and varieties of Bangkok's bargirls.
No one writing or thinking on any of the book's prodigious topics, now or for a long while hereafter, is likely to deserve our attention except as he comes to terms with "Hello My Big Big Honey!"
Extraordinary learned and sensitive minds; covers an immense field and throws light on every part of it.
The epic story of the women who moved from bar to bar, bed to bed, told full-scale for the first time!
"Hello My Big Big Honey!" is a most important and compelling work.
Forget every prostitute book you've read and every prostitute film you've seen. "Hello My Big Big Honey!" is quite simply the most honest, shocking and frightening expose of topless bar life ever presented.
It's more than a book about obsessive love spanning several continents.
It's a fascinating white-knuckle tour of hell, brilliantly reported.
An enthralling work of passion that won't insult your intelligence.
A wonderful book. The book is a master of the narrative art. Ehrlich and Walker dive into the souls of these women to tell a universal story we haven't heard before.
A stunning combination of history and autobiography, I find it a love song to the courage of the whores. A wonderful and unforgettable book, and I think, the finest work of these journalists' remarkable careers. One of the most moving Thai stories ever told.
The bar girl / client saga is brought dramatically and movingly close to us through the people that actually lived it.
Ehrlich and Walker bring us into bars and into the adventures of how the women try to weasel more money from their bewitched lovers.
And the book's authors include the broken English voices of the faraway lovers whose irrevocable acts of tender-loving foolishness continues to echo down through the years.
The authors' exhaustive research has created a memorable and absorbing study.
So if you really want to know what a con job feels like -- not just in your face, but in your heart and soul -- read this book. The authors' triumph is how they make us believe the crisis the clients face is both heartbreaking and hilarious.
Each letter is as suspenseful as Stephen King's tales, but with rigorous, meditative intelligence.
And it's non-fiction!
Hope "Hello My Big Big Honey!" makes big money...turned into a movie (Juliet Lewis playing the whore, Keanu Reeves the guy who falls in love with her and all her friends).
Hell, maybe there's an opera in it somewhere (the bargirls wud make a helluva good chorus, the barowner a bass, the lover a tenor...hmmm).
-- Paul Charles,
an American who also loves the works of Ezra Pound and Charles Baudelaire
New York City
I agree with the reviews on the back cover of your book, and I think it deserves a place on public library shelves.
Of course I learned a lot
since I started with zilch information on the subject.
The book can open hearts and minds about an important reality that many know nothing about.
I am glad I read it.
A book for Women's Studies? Definitely.
I'm not in good shape today as I picked up some monster cold but you can't catch it over e-mail so here we go:
Questions in the book were good.
I liked it when you described each woman you interviewed.
Morality? The girl has her reasons for prostitution, and the farang has
his for being with her.
And the circumstances for both are sad...
I was puzzled to learn that some of the girls turn to heroin. Is the answer "Bar girls are loser friendly."
I suppose in the beginning the
customers may want to "have fun" by sharing drugs with the girls.
I found it interesting that to the Thai girl money equals love.
And to an American girl presents equal love.
Page 15, line 3 comma after poverty?
There were some awkward sentences in Walker's preface. Also a number of comma problems.
On page 16 I don't understand "See you all in the next life -- in the afternoon."
Ehrlich's writing soars with a great combination of compassion and objectivity and sensitivity. Imagine "deaf and dumb hookers" -- what a deal.
Thai men need to be re-educated. They are a big part of the problem. Our system is bad enough but their system is hopeless.
The Thai men and women
are both exploited.
Interesting that consumerism is a motivator for the girls.
Throughout the book, care is given to details.
The glossary is useful.
On page 59 the bar girl says "It hurts too much and is too scary to love him."
If it were my book, I would put the questions in italics.
I liked the directness and terrific communication skills of the girls. Very honest. The way kids are.
The girls' evaluations of the nationalities of the farangs was pretty consistent one with another.
I liked reading what the Mama-san had to say. She had a good attitude.
I didn't like the bar owners. They were so crass and they distracted from the focus of your book, I think. I was not interested in them.
One in particular was a total
pig. A low life.
The Epilogue that closes the book makes for a nice ending. Refreshed me after those bar owners.
I am glad I read your book. You did a great job with it.
What's next?
My daughter, Sheila, (age 46) told me the girls she saw at Phuket were much more beautiful and were dressed in regular clothing. Very, very sweet.
She really liked them. They were all in a huge building.
I will send you a very short story soon. It is odd. In my writing group we come up with a sentence and each of us writes a story around it.
I'm glad I wrote to you today. I do believe I am thinking and feeling a little better than when I first started.
Love,
Suzy Creamcheese
I can highly recommend the following book to you: "Hello My Big Big Honey!" by Richard S. Ehrlich and Dave Walker.
They collected "love letters to Bangkok bar girls and their revealing interviews".
You will find this book in many bookstores...and I'm therefore giving this book quite a considerable plug, (so) these guys really should send me a triple pack of flowers and the finest whiskey.
Buy this book today, it's fucking hilarious!
The unofficial sequel to the book 'Hello my big big honey' is 'Hello my rich rich farang'.
-- Dr. Joker
OK, already 2 years ago when I read the book for the first time.
The story of
this girl ("an 'aged' bargirl and a noodle vendor in Pratuman who referenced a liaison/marriage with an Air America pilot and a G.I. from that era") impressed me much and remained in my memory.
-- Nils
Subject: "Hello My Big Big Honey" (Quick Book Review)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.thai
The bargirl commentary is far more interesting than the letters from farang.
(Can't believe some of them actually
write to "their girl" in broken "bar-speak" english. That aspect frightens me
for some reason I can't quite peg.)
Nam Peung read part of this one and
wonders when I will open a Thai Farmer's Bank acct for her! :-))
-- Frawley
Subject: "Hello My Big Big Honey" (Quick Book Review)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.thai
I found the text...so to the point
that I thought it might at one day become part of a new soc.culture.thai FAQ.
-- Roscoe
Subject: In Love with a Bargirl (you, not me!!)
Newsgroups: soc.culture.thai
Who will start a Paypal website for Pattaya????
Already happening in a small way...email, translations, letter writing and money transfer for bargirls.
"Hello My Big Big Honey the buffalo died again"
-- Rob
Subject: Re: Thai Girlfriend - how to get money to
Newsgroups: soc.culture.thai
The Tourist Authority office has a small reading library there [in Pattaya] as well, and I handed Junryo a copy of the immensely funny book "Hello My Big, Big Honey!"
He soon became engrossed in reading the book, which contains hilarious love letters written by Western tourists to their Thai bar girl girlfriends.
Junryo was especially interested in the detailed, highly informative forewords...summarizing the sex scene in Thailand as it relates to bar girls and the foreign men who fall in love with them.
-- Thailand's Junryo Adventure
I picked up and read "Hello My Big Big Honey!" from Modern Times Bookstore [in San Francisco] a few days after the Last Gasp party.
Since reading it from cover-to-cover, I already lent it out twice.
I found its premise highly intriguing, and its content poignant and pertinent to anyone interested in hearing about this shade of romance.
Congratulations on collaborating on such a work of social importance.
Thank you.
Most sincerely,
-- Griffin Lamachy
www.eroticandy.com
I am very interested in reading your book, as I have a girlfriend/Lover I have "paid" to get out from working in the bar in Thailand.
Thank you very much!
-- joe
I'm working on completing my horoscope column for the next issue of Erotica, but I've also had time to read (and greatly enjoy your book...
Glad you've had a chance to check out my website; the painting, "Dangers of Sex: Eating Pussy" is in the gallery section of my site (in the middle somewhere). I don't have a poster of it; maybe I'll make cards of it in the future.
If you get a chance, please check out eBay.com -- the online auction co. Look at their item number 1148871181, which is an old postcard of a
two-headed snake taken at a snake emporium in Bangkok. I'm curious as to whether the snake emporium still exists, and if they still have the
two-headed snake. (I collect odd creatures -- usually taxidermined.)
-- Sharon Leong
www.queenofbpaintings.com
This very funny and at times poignant book reveals the love pangs of farang "boyfriends" who write love letters to their beloved Thai bar girls.
Journalists Walker and Ehrlich interviewed the girls and got their hands on a cache of those love letters.
What they reveal is a complex interplay of ego, loneliness, lust, love, a loose grip on reality, and cold calculation on both sides of the correspondence. This is a very intimate portrait of the Thai prostitution industry from an unlikely perspective, informative as well as entertaining, and a bestseller in Asia.
-- NETSURFER DIGEST
Volume 07, Issue 11
More Signal, Less Noise
congratulations on the big big book getting even bigger bigger.
i'm a fan from way back, as you know, and would love to do a review.
i wonder who would bite.
let me think, see if i can come up with something.
why don't you send me the name/number of the san francisco publisher, and if it looks like i've got a prospect i'll wangle my own copy.
i've been wondering about doing more book news/reviews/etc lately, maybe even getting a regular column in somewhere.
i like the subject, and the size of the field, and the contrast between the lonely abject writer in his turret slaving away at the keys and the big corporate publisher licking the animal grease off his fingers at a posh reception, and how despite everything new and spiffy coming along these days in media and entertainment and the fact that sales are dismal for all but the lottery winner bestsellers, books are still very cool.
too bad you or your co-writer or a discrete sampling of the girls in question aren't coming through vancouver -- i could get you on my web show. it's all uphill from there.
-- david tracey
"Greetings from Thailand.
Time here in Thailand has just about run out.
We are in Bangkok now, ready to go to Australia.
Stayed in some nice places.
Good beaches.
Good food cooked by this guy called "Wit".
He got shouted at by this old German, he didn't care because it's good luck to have old folk act stupid to you.
We shaved Brians hair with razors, he found fat above his ears!
We saw some chocolate cookies and this poem was written on the packet - "Beautiful things are beyond time. Womens history never cease to yearn for beauty."
And we've seen more - I love the translations.
Saw a book titled "Hello My Big Big Honey!".
-- Hippy World Tour: Brian Fielding, Sam Windett, Vicky Britton and Zoe Flower...fellow hippies Jamie Findlater, "Bod" and Eric Holmes.
Hey, that is YOUR book? Great..
I just returned from Thailand and had a wonderful 3 weeks in Chiang Mai with a tiny, non-English speaking Isan girl who wanted to make me
believe that she was already 18.
Much crying at the airport, so despite your book I still will make the "letter writing" mistake (sorry, I don't send you a copy of that
lettter nor the answer I may receive...hehe...)
Wonder how long this feeling of sadness/happiness will last this time.
Regards,
-- Robert
We met in Prague in May 2000 at the Unitas Pension where the ex-president was jailed at one time.
I finally got a computer, and finally bought your book (latest edition with color photographs).
I've read half the book so far and find it very interesting.
It's all true, as amazing as it sounds.
Some of the letters in the book are funny...
-- Lee Bludman, Los Angeles, California
I haven't purchased your book as yet, but am certainly interested.
I have an Amazon associated web page on Asia as part of my erotic (not pornographic) books site...and would like to expand my description for your book.
Amazon doesn't allow affiliates to use all their content, so was wondering if you could provide me with anything.
I'd like to request your 20-page excerpt of this book for myself, but would greatly appreciate it if I could include part of that or another excerpt for my site.
I also have questions of my own, although if they are addressed in the book don't feel compelled to answer them here of course.
My only experience of Asia was a six month stay in the Philippines where I lived to reduce living expenses (I'm disabled).
I'm considering moving there permanently at some point as the experience was so positive, but am also open to other developing nations.
I should admit to knowing little of Thailand, so my first questions concern ability to communicate in English {I'm terrible with languages}, and since I'm single the current extent of AIDS and the difficulty in creating long-term relationships with the opposite gender.
I came close to marriage a couple times during my stay in a small fishing village in Mindoro, and met both as working girls.
The custom there made it easy to live together with such women over long periods, and was wondering if things were similiar.
Finally, if I do return I'm interested in working to help these women with alternatives for their futures, and was wondering if you knew of any organizations I might contact about this.
Thanks for your time,
-- Indiana, U.S.A.
Thursday
Time Event
11:38p Random Random Random
My current book that I'm reading "Hello My Big Big Honey!" Love Letters to Bangkok Bar Girls and Their Revealing Interviews, is a very interesting book, a few interviews thrown in there about what they think about foreign men compared to Thai men and even deeper how most Thai prostitutes think that Japanese men are sadist -- "Spank, hit, pull" -- American men are stuck up, and how they prefer Swedes, Norweigian, and Australian men, oh and of course how they prefer English men. (I know I do)
I know my mom got her English man...
It would be nice to get some ass
Be nice to win the lotto...
Goodnight and Thank You
Current Mood: [Image] drained
Current Music: Depeche Mode - I am you
-- Sylla's LiveJournal
This is a great book that tells it like it is.
This book reveals the thoughts and minds of those who delve into this subculture.
For a Farang, it is a foreign culture, and within this foreign culture, this is a subculture.
If a person reads this before going they will have some additional social skills and street smarts to recognize certain things that people say and do.
After being able to recognize these things they'll be able to correctly assess their own situation more properly.
This book will also help Farang men stay grounded and not let fantasy take them too far off of the ground, for many times that's what the Farang-Thai Lady relationship is.
In other cases, the fantasy turns into a reality long term. And that is great.
For some who doubted the veracity of the Farangs, authors and ladies, you probably spent your time looking from afar, and not getting too close. Afraid of something?
It reveals how things work. If you've been in these situations before, you'll feel a sense of deja vu. I highly recommend this book.
-- Kenneth G. Johnson, Bremerton, Washington
Most Americans have no idea that the mysterious and frightening world you depict even exists.
There is a potential for mass market appeal here...I wish you the best of luck with it.
-- Donadio and Ashworth, Inc.
I would like to receive the free 20-page except of the book. It looks interesting.
By the way, why did this subject interest you?
Thank you.
-- D. Stephens
...and, last but not least, try this hilarious book of interviews and letters: "Hello My Big Big Honey!" Love Letters to Bangkok Bar Girls and Their Revealing Interviews
-- Dean Barrett, author
Izzat you????
Hey wussup to my people! I hope that the weather in Thailand is cool. Its hot out here in Oakland!
Get at me!
Get at the booty!
-- Snook #85
Creator of Bootywoman
Sorry I can't make the book signing, but would love to see the book. Where else are you going on your tour?
Please send me your postal mailing address so I can keep track of you.
Hang in there,
-- Joe Bob Briggs
This is interesting.
I've read excerpts.
-- United States of America
Very best of luck in San Francisco and anywhere else you may be on your tour.
And once again, I am most grateful for "Hello My Big Big Honey!"
-- David Lida, author of Travel Advisory
i'll take a look at your book cause it happens to be about something related to what i'll be studying here starting in october: the foreigners labor market in japan.
there are a lot of feminist studies on the relation between the sex industry in japan and in other countries in the area and i am very interested in that.
-- Ms. J.C.H., Japan
My english is not very good (i also start to learn Thai a little), but i already have bought english books like "Patpong Sisters" by Cleo Odzer. I also will buy the new edition of "Hello My Big Big Honey!"
Maybe you know some other publications which would help me to find a realistic and deeper understanding of the current situation of women in Thailand.
i am very impressed by the "power" many of the Thai woman seem to have, but i also have seen the tragic and sad side of tourism (more from the distance however).
I will visit a great Thai woman soon, she changed my life "a little bit" last year (basically, i started to eat more and more asian food, visiting Thai restaurants, speaking with people who said how wonderful a relation between two cultures can be -- if it is taken seriously) and she seems to like me very much.
I do not want to break anybody's heart, want to express how much i have to say thank you to her, i imagine to have a long lasting friendship with her -- she is so strong, and always fights for her rights.
I really don't know if it is a good idea to live with her in cold Germany, but i could also move to Thailand.
Do you think that there is anything i should research/read, or somebody i should contact before i make a decision?
The two answers i already have received are "it could make your life very rich" and "be careful".
And i believe both answers are right.
And both came from people with deep understanding of inter-cultural relations.
I know what my heart says, but i am afraid this could be egoism, or foolishness.
Thank You in Advance,
With Best Regards
-- Mr. M.J., Germany
Congratulations and best of luck on your US publication adventure.
-- Sam Wright
Hi, off for a read now.
I probably know half of them!!! :)
I already ordered it from Amazon anyway.
Probably Bahrain customs will have a field day...
Thanks.
-- Software Products Division, Bahrain
I really enjoyed the book.
The use of the letters and interviews was a brilliant vehicle to expose an aspect of Patpong that we all know about, but which almost none of Thailand's detractors are willing to accept because of their own prejudices.
-- a Voice of America correspondent
Finally got onto your Web page last night, devouring the excerpt from the book -- looks like I'll have to order one.
Also loved your shameless commerce outlets
-- Karen Feldman, Florida
...it is much to my dismay to have discovered this.
Since my husband goes to Thailand every year and keeps on trying to have some sort of ongoing relationship with a "lady" whom he encounters, I have found this a most fascinating development...
-- Ms. F.
Your book looks very interesting and I'll try to get it from the library here.
I'd buy it but our Canadian dollar sucks next to the US dollar! :)
-- Ms. E.H., Canada
Is it true Russian women are now dancing in Thailand?
Has your book been reprinted in 17 languages yet?
-- Ms. D.H., San Francisco
When I get back after the Summer I'm going to read your book excerpts.
My grandmother was Indian and I'm interested in all that cross-cultural stuff.
It's nice to have something exotic to read when you're "slumming" it in London.
-- T.L., England
Would have no problem promoting your book, since I have heard lots of good things about it (still haven't read it myself, planning to though (whenever I can find some time)).
Sanuk!
-- nanaplaza.com
I did read a few excerpts at www.oocities.org/nonfictionbook/ and found them to be quite interesting but am not qualified to give you any real opinion of your work.
But I can share some of my experiences with you.
I've been in contact with a girl from a massage parlor from Bangkok and have started a relationship of sorts (I hope I don't end up in the next edition of your book!:)).
What attracts me to this girl is far beyond my own comprehension, although she is uneducated I'm sure she'd do very well on an IQ test (probably better than I would).
However, from what further reading I've done about bar girls, can one really trust the motivations of these women (or how easily can one weed out the nice girls from the not nice ones)?
Or can the women really trust the motivations of their farang customers?
As for my own motivations, I probably fall into the "night in shining armour" group of farangs trying to have a relationship with a seemingly nice girl.
And if our relationship goes bad (and I can foresee lots of problems between people so different age, culture, etc), have I done more damage then if I had simply done nothing?
One thing that troubles me, if this is true, is that there are other choices of work for these women although they surely don't pay as well.
What does working in Patpong or Soi Cowboy, etc do to the mind and heart of a shy, young girl?
It would sure be nice if the Thai government held Thai fathers accountable for supporting their children when they tire of the current girlfriends and run off, leaving the responsibilty of raising and supporting their children to their former girlfriend or wife.
My background: I have a Masters in International Relations as well as an MBA and have spent two months in the last year in South East Asia (Laos, Cambodia, Thailand and Myanmar).
In addition, I studied and lived in Taiwan and China.
So I hope I haven't babbled on too much.
Thank you for any help you can offer, and for offering an excerpt of your book.
Cheers,
-- Mr. M.
I'm also a fan of "Hello My Big Big Honey!" -- I thought it was a great counter-take to the usual "Sex in Bangkok" story.
Well done!
I'll put in a line about "Hello My Big Big Honey!" in my story for the Post.
As well you know, that doesn't mean some deaf and blind editor won't cut it out, but it's worth a try.
-- A Journalist in the United States
I just changed the entry on my modest "book" page by adding a link to your page, plus the explanation: "Click title for extended information"
As my night life pages are rather hidden, I also placed a link to your "Hello My Big Big Honey!" book on my main page.
Regards,
-- Raw Bear
The most valuable information in this book might be the preface written by a Thai.
There are many traditions in Thai society that seem incredible to the western visitor. The tolerance of young girls from the poor areas of the Northeast coming to Bangkok to work in the bars and provide entertainment for the patrons is common in Thailand.
This book allows the reader to understand the psychology of both the girls and their Western patrons.
Having travelled extensively in Thailand over a number of years, I am more than familiar with the "white knight" syndrome where the western customer thinks he is a savior rescuing these girls with his affection. The girls on the other hand are more than a little amused at this reaction-because for them, it is critical to have no emotional attachment and to gain the greatest amount of income by being pleasant, attentive and compliant.
The Western writers of the included letters have confused good service with deep emotional attachment.
-- a reader's comment on amazon.com
The "Hello My Big Big Honey!" excerpts were an excellent study of Thai bar culture.
However, I'm working on some research about the effects of the currency crisis on the trade.
Have you any insight into same?
Thanks,
-- Mr. M.R., New York City
Did you end up with a Patpong bargirl?
Can such relationships work?
I recently fell for a Bankgok massage girl and am trying to shake it off.
-- Mr. Z.R., Washington D.C.
I'll try to figure out how to get the word out on the book.
There are good sources, frequently accessed; one is "The Prostitution Solution", a Thai student in the U.S. sponsoring a home page covering the issue multilaterally.
There is another student named Justin with a very nice grasp of the situation and its evolution, seems really promising in terms of his grasp of Buddhism...There is a prostitution home page discussing the issues.
My paper is headed for the internet, and I'll put in a direct reference.
I'm getting an mba in organizational management with a focus in cross-cultural communication. The paper is for one of the cross-cultural classes...
One thing I have faced since coming back is that there is a genuine war of the sexes in this country.
I address that in my paper. This is a genuine loss, and there are many, many casualties.
I hope this is helpful.
Feel free to stay in touch, and I'll be of assistance when I can.
Best Regards!
-- Mr. M.U., USA
Hello,
As a regular visitor of Thailand I was sometimes confronted with the bargirl-scene down there and for me coming from the deepest south of Germany, this partly was a little shocking, but fascinating.
After coming back, I found your book in the internet...
Yours
Mr. K.U.,
Germany
Did prostitution go "commercial" after Viet Nam?
I understand from reading "Hello My Big Big Honey!" that it is something of cultural institution, but why does it involve so many men from OUTSIDE that culture?
What about HIV?
I've heard reports that it's ripping through the brothels.
Those Japanese businessmen had better hope that their thin condoms work when playing rough like that, or the world economy could take a sudden turn in about 6 to 10 years.
I often work with HIV-infected prostitutes as my workplace is near Asbury Park. It's a very sad condition. We also get the Johns who use their services on a regular basis.
I can't imagine what it must be in Bangkok where expensive medications aren't passed around like cheap candy as they are here.
Paradise has its risks and its price, eh?
-- In Distant Fascination,
Beachwood, New Jersey
website looks fascinating. have bookmarked it for later viewing.
here's hoping for a personal tour if i ever get to bangkok.
sigh.
-- Mr. R.G., Washington D.C.
Richard Ehrlich and Dave Walker,
explored the world of Thai prostitutes in their
fascinating book, "Hello My Big Big Honey!" Love Letters
to Bangkok Bar Girls and Their Revealing Interviews, a
collection of letters to and from Thai bar girls, as
well as interviews with bar girls, bar owners, and
others associated with the business.
Rather than being titillating, the letters collected
in "Hello My Big Big Honey!" break through the economic
relationship to the often profound loneliness that
motivates many of these men, and the belief that they
have purchased not just a meaningless night of sex but
entered into a relationship, as well as the patience
and stoicism of the women.
Many of the collected
letters were written by older or married men and can
be heart-rendingly pathetic.
A constant theme through
all of them is concern for the nature of the womenís
work, as in this letter:
"I don't want this to be the end of what we have
started darling. Is that what it means to you? I know
it is important, but I would like to think there is
more to our relationship than what we can do for each
other. I understand more now that you cannot rely on
me for money and that you will have to go to work. It
hurts me that you resort to that. It is not the way of
life that I want you to have. You deserve better. You
are too good for it and worth more than that. I wish
that you would feel that way about yourself, and not
simply do it for spite. I am sorry that I was furious
with you before darling. But how would you feel if I
didn't care at all? Doesn't that matter to you?"
--anonymous
I have been trying to locate your book now for months and finally got this today.
I currently work for...an aid program for Tibetan Refugees esp. children and I wish to expand our activities to assist the problems of HIV, child prostitution and etc.
I have been to Thailand once last year and will come through again within a few months (en route to India or elsewhere to do a retreat).
Thank you.
-- Ms. M.W., Canada
I read on Amazon.com that you were giving out 20 page samples of the book "Hello My Big, Big Honey!"
I am interested in this subject and would like to read this before I purchase the book.
Thank You.
-- W.
I have just ordered the book "Hello My Big Big Honey!"
I just got back from Thailand and spent a bit of time with a bar girl and "may" be bringing her to the United States for an extended visit.
I know this is stupid but I guess we all have to do stupid stuff.
-- Mr. T.W.
I've been seeing references to your book on the internet...
It sounds like a fun read.
I was just in BKK a few weeks ago for the first time and had a ball.
Yes, I made it down to Patpong a few times as well as taking trains to Chiang Mai and Ko Samui.
I can't wait to get back to Thailand. What a marvelous country. I think I want to retire there.
Cheers,
Mr. B.W.
I am writing to you in reponse to a posting on the Amazon.com web page regarding your book "Hello My Big Big Honey!"
I'm a research scientist at the National Institutes of Health, USA. I am also writing a novel, a medical mystery, in which there is a character who is a young Thai woman.
She is not a prostitute, but she is from the class of people who are recruited as sex workers, and is drawn into a different sort of reproductive exploitation, and comes to the US to testify about it.
My problem is to get her diction when speaking English right. I thought that the verbatim transcripts of your interviews with Thai bar girls would be very useful for this purpose, but I have been having difficulty getting a copy of your book!
I wonder if you would have anything you could send me for this purpose (e.g. an excerpt from the book).
I am not concerned with any of the details about prostitution or the letters from customers (though that sounds fascinating) but only with the use of language by the women when speaking to the interviewer.
Thank you in advance for your assistance.
Sincerely
Saw your book, finally. Good stuff.
Will read it next week on trip through Central America.
-- Chuck Thompson, former editor, Travelocity magazine
After travelling to Thailand for many many years I thought this book was a good read. Very interesting and the fact that the letters have been sourced from real farangs makes this book a good read and in general a pretty accurate guide, as well as a good laugh!
-- Sydney, NSW Australia
I spent three years doing research on Thai bar girls and this book pretty well sums it up...Read the book and you'll understand what's really going on in their minds.
Besides that, this book is HILARIOUS. You will fall off your chair laughing...
-- Dr. Cleo Odzer, author of Patpong Sisters
...a darker Asian chapter. I used to live in Thailand. Initially I was absolutely revolted by the many possible and impossible kinds of prostitution on public, unavoidable show there. I hated it, and especially the Western men involved.
"Hello My Big Big Honey!" helped me understand a little bit of what was going on.
The rest, I realised, I needed to accept, or better leave. It was good to read about the ladies' and gentlemen's views and motivations.
The book opened up a new horizon to me which otherwise I would have never seen.
I stayed -- nowadays my worse Asian memories originate from Bangkok traffic and not from "Hello My Big, Big Honey!"
-- Vienna, Austria
Along Bangkok's Patpong Road night market, in bars such as Pussy Galore, Pink Panther and King's Castle, tourists meet up with the bar dancers. This sensitive, eye-opening book examines the relationships enabled by the bars.
In first-person accounts, through the dozens of letters the men write to their "darlings" after they return home, and in interviews with the women, the authors view the complex world of Patpong -- money, sex, love, loneliness, disease.
Also, there is an interview with one "mama-san."
In the prologue, Dr. Yos Santasombat dissects and analyzes the worker-client relationship.
In the epilogue, Mrs. Pisamai Tantrakul describes her role and reasons for translating and typing many of the letters.
Highly recommended for those interested in Thailand and Southeast Asia, tourism and travel, women's rights and gender studies.
-- Mangilao, Guam
"Hello My Big Big Honey!" was only one of a bunch of books I picked up on my recent trip to the LOS [Land of Smiles].
In it's pages, the editors/authors reprint letters received by Patpong bargirls from their farang customers who've returned to their homes. Interspersed, are portions of interviews with some of the girls.
For the most part, those letters/interviews support the various and diverse accounts/opinions/perspectives/theories about Thai bargirls and their customers as often expressed in this newsgroup. That is: the reasons girls gravitate to the business and why farang often find them "marriage material"; the persona of the bargirl/customer; the hopes and dreams of the respective parties; how their respective hopes/dreams are so often unfulfilled.
The letters are sometimes funny; sometimes sad; sometimes reflecting the innocence and ignorance of the farang who has become emotionally involved with a bargirl.
Interesting reading for anybody who was even curious about such a phenomenon...
-- soc.culture.thai
newsgroup
I am most likely going to order your book "Hello My Big Big Honey!" today from amazon. I would like the twenty pages of the book you offer to hold me over till it arrives. Can you recommend anything else on thai bargirls.
I've been to thailand 2x and actually married a thai last month. So now I need to relieve the good ole days vicariously through others, since my wife won't allow me out alone in BKK anymore. Smart girl.
I loved your book.
I feel those who have visited Bangkok will derive more meaning from it than strangers to the great city.
Interestingly, the bargirls in your book often sum up their appeal to men in two words -- good care.
Had I not visited Bangkok and made my own observations I would not have had a concept of what that expression meant.
Again, Big Big Thanks.
Incidentally, we met a couple of California commercial pilots who had opened a drinks bar in Soi Cowboy.
One of them had wed Thai lady who was expecting his second child.
I mention that episode wondering whether "Hello My Big Big Honey!" would be a culture shock to the younger generation of US citizens.
Perhaps not, judging by what we see today.
Keep well!
-- an Australian
I checked out your www.oocities.org/nonfictionbook link and the book sounds interesting (I've heard of it before but thought it was just another one of those books about the sex industry in Thailand) but I will read it now.
Well, on Sat 20 at 1 o'clock am I was in NANA Hotel.... not sleeping.
I read your book "Hello My Big Big Honey!" and I liked it very much, specially the introduction.
I will add a link to your pages, and I will inform you as soon as I will make it.
I am living in Italy, I arrived back here just yesterday. I am used to travel to Asia and Central Africa very often, say more or less every month, specially China.
Next time I hope we can sip a Singha together...
You advertised a free excerpt from your book entitled "Hello My Big Big Honey!"
I would like to receive one, please.
Thanks.
-- Remote Sensing and Space Sciences
Please take us off your mailing list.
-- Fier, Albania
I am a graduate student at Johns Hopkins University and am interested in getting a copy of your book, "Hello My Big Big Honey!"
Is it available in Bangkok?
I plan to be there in July, so perhaps I can find it then.
I didn't know Asian women or if they did it was like women here in Sweden. Also I wondered if maybe they had more. When I read "Hello My Big Big Honey!" I was so enlightened about the sex.
Congrats...
I hope you make loads of money on "Honey!"
-- Charles Hayes, author of Tripping
I enjoyed your website. Not enough to buy the book, but I did email Trink and said it looked interesting. Did you notice the next week he mentioned it? You may possibly have me to thank. Sahwahdi.
-- Guy in Chicago who loves the kingdom
Basically it is difficult not to have a good time here if you enjoy cold beer and warm women.
If you want to read up on the whole scene before your visit I would recommend "Hello My Big Big Honey!" as a warning as to how the place can affect your emotions if you're not careful, as well as your common sense and bank accounts.
This is a collection of letters from tourists to bargirls, with some interesting interviews and theories interspersed.
-- Bangkok Travel Report
Gadzooks,
The book that never sleeps continues its savage onslaught on an unsuspecting public.
Congrats on conquering America!
-- Paul Baran, Canada
Hello My Darling Patpong Road:
This is video footage
of part of Steev's set at the Big Sur Experimental
Music Festival, May 19, 2001.
This clip shows the
premiere of this performance piece.
The piece was
inspired by two books:
Hello My Big Big Honey: Love
Letters to Bangkok Bar Girls and Their Revealing
Interviews by Dave Walker and Richard Ehrlich, and
Critique of Exotica, by John Hutnyk.
--detritus.net/steev/vid/4eye+ear/
Subject: big honey on the hangover guide.
I bought myself your book in Hua Hin in the bookshop in march this year.
Great letters, great interviews!
Congratulations for your success in the states.
You guys get something like 2000 page views a month on the guide, www.snapoo.com/out/th/1_13606.html
Maybe we can have a drink someday in BKK.
I travel with my wife she's a french/senegalese artist and also in love with thailand.
I feel tired, need thai food, no fruits here, mai ahan taleh.
chock dee
knut
a short answer makes the small elefant happy :-))
-- THE GLOBAL HANGOVER GUIDE
the best bars worldwide
www.snapoo.com
To gain insight into a culture as complex as Thailand's, even the casual tourist should read a few books on the country. I don't mean guidebooks, either. As you can see from this list, there aren't too
many available...
On my first visit an expat told me that bringing your wife or girlfriend to Thailand is like bringing sand to the beach; this was prophecy for me.
I have a very hard time looking at Western women as sex objects anymore.
My favourite quote, however, sums it up: "If you're on the train to heaven and it stops at Bangkok, GET OFF!"
If you really fall in love with the place, you'll have to learn at least basic Thai.
The first thing you'll notice is how little English people speak. Don't learn Thai in the bar -- it will be all too obvious how you learned it.
Pick a course or find an educated tutor (those university student uniforms sure look good to me!).
Thai scene:
Dave Walker & Richard S. Ehrlich, "Hello My Big Big Honey!" Love Letters to Bangkok Bar Girls...
-- Subject: Asia: Thailand: Thai by Night
RECOMMENDED READING ON THAILAND
Sex in the City:
You know, I have to admit I've always been fascinated with Bangkok's endless supply of "TV rooms" or "Short-time hotels."
Nestled not-so-subtly between such places as store-front homes, petrol stations, and noodle-soup vendors, and sporting discrete, high cement walls next to their flashing "TV HOTEL" signs complete with beckoning arrow, these hotels appear every few blocks or so, from the diminutive to the unabashedly dramatic. (How's that for a Preamble-like sentence?).
What I find so fascinating about them is their combination of the batting-eye virgin and the gyrating "do me, big boy" prostitute.
This is sort of how sex seems to be portrayed to me all over Bangkok.
No, sex is only something done by husband and wife and we DON'T talk about it. But sure, there IS an incredible sex industry in which THAI MEN (no, those naughty white and Japanese men only make up a single digit percentage of those using a prostitute's services) are populating these hotels of happiness.
Let me describe these hotels.
They are single rooms, with a large bed, dim lighting, a bathroom with a shower, and of course, a TV. They normally have a single purpose – a discrete place to have sex.
This is what happens. You drive up in your car and quickly turn into the area of the hotel. Immediately, smiling young Thai men wave flashlights much as those who help land planes do (they try to make the whole area as dark as possible, often with concrete roofs above), beckoning the car forward.
Middle-aged women armed with cans of disinfectant walk around the place slowly, exchanging soiled sheets for clean ones.
All one sees now are stalls, each with a colorful curtain displaying a large number, pulled tightly across it. The men run quickly to the curtain, fling it back, allow your car to drive in, and then rush it back into place, concealing your car behind it's vinyl shield.
There, in front of your car's bumper, is a door. Inside that door is your ticket to paradise. Normally, you pay by the hour. Probably around $4-5 USD. The place is yours now, no questions asked.
Several times a week I find myself driving through these hotels. There are several blocks of them that connect from near my home to a nearby mall. By using them as a shortcut, I avoid the menacing traffic of Bangkok and all its danger and headaches. In return, I get an interesting look at what Bangkok pretends to abhor, and yet with a smirk and wink, looks the other way.
These places in their simplicity flourish.
What does this mean?? Well, it means that there are a LOT of people who want to have sex and don't have a place of their own to do that in. This makes sense. Most Thais live in relatively large family units (a house with parents, children, grandparents, etc.). A Thai living on his or her own is rare (and expensive).
I personally know of one young woman who must travel up to an hour and half to and from work each day. I ask her why she doesn't get a condo near school, and she says, "I don't want to. I like living with my family. I like to come home and eat with them and talk to them." This is said in all sincerity and I believe her. This is a woman who is engaged to a boyfriend she loves very much.
If I was her, I'd have scrambled off to my own place long ago. But, it just doesn't seem to be that way here. Family is just more important. Growing up in individualistic (yay!) America, this is hard to comprehend much of the time, but it seems to be true for most.
A "sense of family" is something I never had, since I had such a fucked up one, so the individualism of America suits me fine, but I am viewed as odd here, because I live by myself and don't seem to want or need anyone's help.
What does it also mean? Infidelity, particularly in males, is fantastically high.
Thai women grudgingly accept this, claiming that it's a trade-off since females control the money and the children.
Personally, it's not the kind of exchange I'd like, but I am lucky enough to have the choice to avoid it. I have talked to many Thai women about this. It is kind of a sad burden.
I wonder what the rate of women's infidelity is. There is not much of a male prostitute culture (that which exists caters primarily to gay men), but once in awhile you hear things. Recently, a club where women pay to have men dance with them (and supposedly also sleep with them) was crashed by the police. You don't hear about the police crashing the thousands of brothels and bar girl-inhabited places much. Anyway, these hotels are in a sense, a nod of approval for these men.
Would hundreds, or thousands of TV room hotels exist if it was mostly married women who were taking their bar boys for a roll in the hay? I suspect not. But how is this different from any other place in the world?
Another thing that always makes me smirk, is the usual elaborate and large "spirit house" that is set up at these things.
A spirit house is kind of like a mini chapel, and they can be set up anywhere, usually outside a home or business. I often see very dramatic ones at short-time hotels, and often see young women leaving the hotels and paying respect to these houses on their way out.
A friend and I talking about Patpong (one of the sex tourist districts), noted that the girls would dance (and possibly screw for cash) all night, and then the next morning be fresh-faced, bowing and scraping at the local temple, in all true sincerity.
In the U.S., this would be seem as some sort of mockery.
How can you be spiritual and be a prostitute at the same time?
Why not, I say? Mary Magdalene did it.
Western men and Thai women:
The whole Western man – Thai woman thing has been a touchy subject for me as a Western woman living in Bangkok.
I've never found it so incredibly difficult to be single in my life.
Though I am no great beauty, nor ever had much money, I've never had a lot of trouble finding a good relationship.
But here in Bangkok, it has been nearly impossible.
To avoid being bitter and resentful, I have tried to understand these partnerships which are abundant all over Bangkok (and which make up most of my teaching staff).
I read the depressing book, "Hello my Big, Big Honey" which is a mess of emotional letters written by Western men to Thai bar girls they have "fallen in love" with.
It's the kind of book that makes you want to turn lesbian, or else consider all men to be adulterous and gullible as hell.
"I love you honey, and yes, I got your bank account number and will be depositing money into your account soon…."
Not too long ago I was coming home after a night class. I stopped by in a sandwich shop to have dinner. I was enjoying myself and the atmosphere (and reading a fantastic Iris Murdoch book). Not too far from me was a typical sight – a Western man with a Thai "bar girl."
Wait, first let me give a very general definition of "bar girl" as it is known here in Bangkok. A bar girl is a Thai woman, usually from the poor areas of the North or Northeast (Isaan) of Thailand. Predominantly though, they are Isaan woman.
They can be very young, ranging from about 13-40 years old. They're often petite with dark skin. They're easy to recognize after awhile just by how they look and move (and often by the display of a tattoo, often on the back of a shoulder). If you are to believe the studies done on them, many of them are already married to scummy Thai men and have a baby at home, and nearly all of them are partially to totally supporting their families back home.
Most of them work in bars, where they befriend tourists (mostly Western men, but often Japanese and Korean men too), get the men to buy them drinks, and sometimes, to buy the girl herself for a night of sex. Sometimes, the man can buy the girl for days on end.
By "buying" her, he first pays the bar a fee for the revenue they lose by her removal from the bar. Then the man "tips" the girl for her services. Usually this can range from about $50-$150 (USD) a night. Considering that these girls are paid about $80 a month, you can see the incentive of having a Western man take you from the bar for one night. Now sure, as I mentioned, this "definition" is a stereotype in a way, and a loose description, but trust me, my broad sweeping generalization covers most of them.
Okay, anyway, back to the sandwich shop. So the bar girl is sitting with a French man, and he is speaking English to her (most bar girls have a fairly good grasp of English, which makes sense since the better their English, the better business they can do). The guy is going on and on in this loud voice, and though I can't remember it all anymore, I can remember the gist.
Basically, he was telling his personal philosophy on anything and everything, and it was lengthy, verbose, pretentious, egotistical, and fantastically boring. But of course, the girl was listening to him as if in rapture, with lots of nods and "uh-huhs."
Perhaps, that is the secret. To listen to a man go on and on and pretend that it's the most amazing schpiel ever. Don't get me wrong, I believe very much in being a good listener and caring about the people who are opening up to you, but that doesn't mean you have to take, and listen to without comment, all the bullshit that comes your way.
On that same night, I took the "sky train" (subway in the sky) home. As I was sitting in my seat, fantasizing about being home already, there was another Western man – Thai bar girl couple sitting across from me.
I can no longer remember details from the conversation, but I do remember the woman distinctly reminding me of a valley girl in her speech and tone, and the guy nodding profusely adding a mess of his own, "uh-huhs!"
She was talking about how much she hated Indians (there are a community here and Thais in general do not seem to be fond of them for some reason). She had lots of reasons, and lots of "you know!"s. The guy was eating it all up.
Maybe the real secret is that when these men go to Bangkok, they step into another world.
A world where anything and everything is possible.
And let's be realistic, if I was in France, I'd be interested in dating a Frenchman myself. I wouldn't rule out an American guy at ANY chance, especially since communication is so important to me.
But I know it would be interesting to date someone from the place you're in.
But really, in the end…it comes down to communication. I myself had a relationship with a Thai man, and similar to a bar girl (though not in the same profession!) he needed a pretty good grasp of English for his job. And though I cannot solely blame his lack of English/communication skills for my breaking up with him, it really WAS the major reason.
Which is why I always end up at the beginning. When it comes to ex-pats in Thailand, (lesser so for the tourists who come for a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am), HOW do they maintain these relationships?
I personally know about 10 couples of Western men and Thai women living here, and the majority of the women were former bar girls.
How do they do it?
And if you tell me "We connect on another level" I'm going to tell you you're full of shit.
That only works for the tourist boys looking for justifications for splashing into prostitution here.
Does it simply come down to men and women demanding different things in a relationship?
Or men not demanding at all?
My main demand is that I can communicate to a man.
I don't mean the whiny "Let's talk about our feeeeeeelings" but about all sorts of stuff. I want to be able to talk to him about work, about the book I'm reading, about Israel and (the lack of) Palestine, etc. I don't want to just talk about the weather and sex (though those can be pleasant topics too!).
If men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, is Mars a very quiet place and Venus full of endless chatter?
Shit, maybe I should move to Saturn.
Sometimes, even when I don't intend it, I find it impossible not to write and write and write. But no, I won't do it now!
Instead I'm inserting another one of my "60-second poems." These are, obviously, poems I write in 60 seconds or less and usually adore. Ahhh love.....
Love comes in creeping
*bite chomp slurp*
You are nothing....
but...
a snack...a hors d'oeuvres...
wrapped in the embrace of its lips
The agony of its teeth
The sliding trauma of its throat
Until you are digested...
like all the others...
into the abyss of the intenstines.
-- posted by Iris Cullinane
Een absolute aanrader voor ieder die geinteresseerd is in de verhalen van Thaise meisjes en hun lovers uit Engeland, Nederland, Duitsland, Japan etc
etc.:
"Hello My Big Big Honey" een boek van Dave Walker en Richard S. Ehrlich.
Hierin staan brieven van de 'geliefden'. Je krijgt er tranen van in je ogen.
De meisjes schrijven in de trant van:
Gisteren ben ik met mijn moeder naar het ziekenhuis geweest.
Haar kanker is nu uitgezaaid en de dokter zegt dat een operatie zeker 1000 dollar kost.
Ik kijk erg uit naar ons volgende samenzijn. Ik hou van je.
P.S. In je vorige brief schreef je dat je 500 dollar had overgemaakt. Bij mijn bank weten ze echter van niets.
De mannen schrijven:
De scheiding loopt volgens planning.
Volgend jaar augustus kom ik zeker weer naar Bangkok. Gaan we weer lekker eten in ons favoriete restaurantje.
Is het waar wat je schreef?
Dat je broer gevangen is gezet en pas weer vrijkomt als er 2000 dollar is betaald?
En je moet echt stoppen met dat tippelwerk!
Hier in het westen lees je steeds meer over AIDS en andere ziekten, zeker als je je veel van achterlaat nemen.
Hoor je wat ik zeg?
Je moet er echt mee stoppen!
En dat meisje in mijn hotelkamer, de laatste keer, dat stelde echt niets
voor.
Maar toen ik in Bangkok aankwam, was je er niet.
En ik had iemand nodig om mee te praten..."
enz. enz.
-- Arnie
Subject: Re: thailand
Newsgroups: nl.reizen
Ik heb een tip voor je: lees het boek "Hello My Big Big Honey!" van
Dave Walker en Richard Ehrlich.
Daarin staan bloemlezingen van brieven
door Westerse mannen die verliefd zijn geraakt op een hoertje in
Bangkok en hen financieel steunen om te voorkomen dat ze blijven
hoereren ('Daar krijg je alleen maar AIDS van').
Uiteraard onderhouden
de dames meerdere penvrienden, die allemaal beloven dat ze hun vrouw
gaan verlaten en de dames zeer binnenkort naar Europa zullen halen.
Op hun beurt betuigen de dames hun onverdeelde en eeuwigdurende liefde
aan de heren.
Een willekeurig citaat (man):
"I'm sorry to hear that your bank didn't transfer the money i sent
them to your account. And i'm also sorry to hear that your brother is
in the hospital. I will never let you down. I love you too" enz. enz.
Geweldig boek.
Vooral de interviews met de hoertjes aan wie de brieven geschreven
zijn.
Het zijn stuk voor stuk komische verhalen als de achtergrond
niet zo dramatisch zou zijn.
Veel van deze meisjes worden ontvoerd uit
bergdorpen en onder druk en dreiging gedwongen te prostitueren.
Als ze
niet meewerken, worden hun families bedreigd, gemolesteerd of erger.
Het bedriegen van Westerse mannen levert hen een extra geldstroom op
om hun familie te ondersteunen of om borstvergrotingen te laten
ondergaan.
Eén klein verschil echter met de Bangkok hoertjes: ik begrijp dat dit
een penvriendin is, dus je weet niet echt of ze bestaat.
Misschien is
het wel een man die zich als vrouw voordoet.
Of misschien is het
dokter Donald Feh zelf wel met een bijbaantje.
Dus wellicht, als je het geld kunt missen en het je hart
verlicht, maak het gewoon over. Wie weet komt het nog goed terecht
ook.
Groeten,
-- Arno de Vries
Subject: Re: Komt net binnen. Oplichting uit Cameroen?
Newsgroups: nl.reizen
Bog: Hello My Big Big Honey.
Om thailandske bar piger og deres bevaeggrunde for at knytte sig til vesterlandske maend.
Samling af brevudsvekslinger,
Hvordan det gar disse piger og ikke mindst dem som gifter sig med udenlandske maend.
-- From: Kurt Olesen
Subject: Thailand
Newsgroups: dk.fritid.rejse
Mielenkiintoinen kirja on myos "Hello, My Big Big Honey!"
Kirja koostuu thai-prostituoitujen haastatteluista seka ulkkarien heille lahettamista kirjeista
Suosittelen. Saa ainakin
Amazonista
-- Heikki J Wilenius
Subject: Re: Thaimaan turistiprostituoidut
Newsgroups: sfnet.keskustelu.huumeet, sfnet.keskustelu.seksi
Bist du dabei dich zu verlieben?
Willst du eine Thai-Lady heiraten?
Dann bist du nicht mehr zu retten!
Vielleicht aber doch, wenn du dieses Buch aufmerksam liest.
Die Autoren haben Briefe gesammelt, die Maenner verschiedener Nationalitaeten Thailaenderinnen geschrieben haben, deine Kumpel sozusagen.
Diese Briefe werden ergaenzt durch Interviews, die eine langjaehrige Uebersetzerin mit den Adressantinnen gefuehrt hat.
...ein Freudianisches Sprudelbecken sexueller Phantasien und Frustrationen...
-- Far Eastern Economic Review magazine
che si trovano sui nostri viali che di solito sono state attirate con l'inganno, riempite di botte e private del passaporto e di qualsiasi entrata economica per non farle fuggire, se pensi che la scena in Tailandia sia uguale a quella che tutte le sere vedi nel viale sotto casa tua ti sbagli di grosso.
Se permetti ti consiglio un libro: "Hello My Big Big Honey!" di Dave Walker & Richard S. Ehrlich per darti una mano a cercarlo visto che sono sicuro che vuoi parlare di queste cose a ragion veduta (o meglio letta) comunque per invogliarti ti allego la recenzione del "TIME Magazine" :
"... an intimate portrait of Patpong Road, Bangkok's red-light district for tourist and foreigners... Many people assume that men who patronize brothels view prostitutes as single-use, disposable sex objects. 'Hello My Big Big Honey!' may surprise those who subscribe to that assumption. Does love conquer poverty, cultural barriers and the fear of AIDS? Sometimes...",
se posso ti consiglio di leggere con attenzione l' epilogo spece nelle pagine dove parla di quelle che sposano il "farang" e lo seguono nel suo paese, Ovviamente negli USA, Australia e Norvegia sono felici anche per il tenore della loro vita, ma anche in Olanda, Svizzera e belgio non se la
passano male, invece in Giappone e nel Regno Unito di solito le cose vanno male, e dell' Italia??
ovviamente vi allego non tradotte le due righe dedicate:
"The people not friendly and they are very RUDE when you go outside. Some man touch her, VERY RUDE with Thai girl."
lo vedete Albertuan & soci vi hanno gia' studiato vi conoscono e IMHO siete uguali al quel
branco di lazzaroni che hanno messo su il sito scopiazzato da qualche sito omologo tedesco o austriaco, ma la mentalita' e' la stessa quella cattolica del rifiuto di culture diverse dalla vostra, da voi il meretricio e' considerato il peggiore dei peccati e chi lo pratica e' una persona senza morale ma per fortuna 4/5 di questo mondo NON e' cristiano.
-- Fabio il Troll
The publisher in San Francisco and Amazon.com offer you: "Hello My Big Big Honey!" Love Letters to Bangkok Bar Girls and Their Revealing Interviews
http://www.oocities.org/nonfictionbook
More book reviews of "Hello My Big Big Honey!" which appeared in TIME Magazine and elsewhere
http://www.oocities.org/nonfictionbook/bighoneyreviews.html
Eggheads, Highbrows and Intellectuals?
Read how scholars, ethnographic researchers, university thesis papers and other academic texts have referred to "Hello My Big Big Honey!" as their reference.
http://www.oocities.org/nonfictionbook/bbhpapers.html
if you would like to post your *big big interactive!!!!!!!!!!!!* messages to this page, please feel free to email your quotes direct to:
animists *at* yahoo *dot* com
and whenever i am here in bangkok, i'll troll through the responses and post the best, most bizarre, or simply inane incoming messages (stripped of your identity, if you request, so you can wax or wane...)
afghanistan
bangladesh
bhutan
burma
cambodia
china
east timor
hong kong
india
indonesia
laos
malaysia
nepal
pakistan
philippines
sri lanka
thailand
tibet
vietnam
and
amsterdam
budapest
paris
prague
vatican city
san francisco
new york
(click this *dateline* for richard s. ehrlich's latest published news.
...if you would like to go directly to your free 10,000-word excerpt...
click *here*
or
buy "Hello My Big Big Honey!" now on amazon.com
(for lots of other ways to buy the book, *click here*)
