I've been thinking . . . Who was that handsome nonagenarian seen lawn bowling on Route 1's center divide over the weekend? I'm not saying, but his initials are something that he's long forgotten . . . I don't care how many eyes she has made by Brunswick, for my money, that Sandy Duncan is still the cream de the cream . . . You know who you are – if you are an adult man and adult woman giving each other a high five in public for any reason, it really embarrasses all the normal people around you . . . For every review that says how talented Whoopi Goldberg is as an actress and comedian, do you think she owes Beelzebub 1 more soul or 2? . . . Please indulge me:
The legend lives on, from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitchee Gumee.
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy
. . . That Walt Disney could sure make a woman feel like a man, couldn't he? . . . Can somebody please tell me why Michael Flatley is supposed to be called "Lord" when we all know that there is only one Lord, and He's master of a lot more than just the dance! . . . Master Flatley does have great neckerchiefs, though, no? . . . Call me an old softy if you must, but I still get all misty-eyed when I see a fuzzy little puppy happily licking something by the side of the road . . .Can't say why, but if Jerry Van Dyke ever puts out a new movie, I'll be first in line at the mall for the 2:05 showing . . . I heard at the clubhouse that Golden Ladybug Penelope Mulligan just hit the windshield of life. It doesn't seem fair, does it? Why just last week, I had an almost pleasant conversation with the 93-years young lifetime bachelorette. Who among us will ever forget her many, many stories about how "the coloreds" ruined her Dad's farm? . . . The 12 most precious words in the English language? "Based on a True Story, Starring Meredith Baxter Birney. Tonight on Lifetime." . . . Note to Germans: You're not fooling anyone! . . . Why is it that most restaurants don’t start their Early Bird Specials until 4:00 in the afternoon? Don't they realize that not all of us live Joey Bishop hours? So the next time you see the suggestion box, leave a pleasant note saying that you'd much prefer to have your grilled fish sandwich a little closer to a normal dinnertime: say, 2:30 . . . I don't care how many live, baby bunnies it was tested on, if there's a product out there that can make me look, sound, and smell just like Brenda Vaccaro, FedEx it to me overnight! . . . That's all for now – as always, God Bless, stop and smell the flowers, and tell a few strangers that you like their hair . . . |
