To know that tomorrow will come, and that it will bring more pain...to know that at this point in time you are truly worthless...to know that the only truth you could ever understand or know is the unrelenting though peaceful furry of pain...Pain is the house that I lived in...it is what I ate and breathed, it was my sublime request for this new pain to relinquish my existence unto it...like the emptiness of a wound, fresh after the blade has been pulled...flesh ripped, let me bleed, let me feel what it is to be alive by teasing me with death...Death looks so beautiful as it softly caress you...the only soft touch in this world after everyone else has left your side...there's always someone there for you...always smiling, always waiting for you...May not Angels of Death let me fly...? Nay is their answer unto me, I know that I can not...it is not my time...the now is only mine to feel pain...and so I will bleed, with this pure smile on my face...

 

When I look down I can see my shoes...they look bigger now than they used to...my laces are straight but I don't know where I am...I know that I will take many steps in my life, though I wish these shoes would tell me where I am to wander...So many new faces stare at me as I pass by...there are times that I feel naked under the constant scrutiny of these new faces...I step on and watch them and their common place opinions fade in to obscurity...I hope that I myself don't become to obscure to remember...I hope against fear that I am someone important to someone else...I hope beyond my reflection in the mirror that I was really there at one time or another....if only to reflect on who I was...may I stand there just to be someone, even if only for a little while...even if this world doesn't listen...let the little ears hear me...

Not too much to say...not too much to do...remember to breath...because I am still you...though I am here by myself...You'll feel me if you look within...If I haven't been evicted from your soul...you may just see me as I used to play, young, innocent and naive...I wanted to care...I too wanted to be alive and free...I'm going to lay down for a while...I hope to see you once again...I hope that you see me...I hope that I can awaken feeling more refreshed and renewed...I wish my arms could reach out to more than just the air...though I know what they utter about those who dare to wish...their souls will drown in good intentions, their hearts will rot like fish...let this last glimmer fall lonely from my eye, the hour for me will one day toll...I know, I too will die....

Destruction of all that I used to hold dear...I stepped forth, as to enter something I would never return from...I saw what lay before me, it killed me with it's gun...it set my body to ashes just to watch me rise anew...I forget where I had been...it only matter where I was...this new life, this new body, this new purpose...why did It matter so..? It mattered because I am someone important too...without a doubt, or even a split second thought...I was set with new wing...may I fly far beyond my binds...

 

The greatest strength lines within a gentle touch...the weakest man is often the strongest brute...the understanding of the extremes is what leads me to the middle path...for there is no real straight and narrow...there are many tourist spots and scenic routes along the way...It is up to me to decide when to stop and when to drive on by...may my eyes never be clouded, may my mind never be distracted by overt sensationalism...may I find pain in joy and joy in pain...may I one day fall, just to rise again...Let me understand all that I have yet to see...

Inanimate objects are not my friends...even if I tell them my secrets...it's not all just a show...though one must protect the other...shield and sword...all in one...lying truths, the Devil cries...while God laughs in his face...am I really somebody's' daughter...? am I really somebody's son...? Both sides fight themselves, just to blame each other for their new found pain... Oh so tragic, yet masterful... Oh so beautiful, yet decrepit...Burn me alive with your bon fires of hate...then freeze my ashes under ages of ice...hold me softly, kiss me in the solace of night...stab my heart under the shadows of a tree filled forest...watch me fall to the mud...turn my body to another state...it's too bad I was jail bait...hear me knock on your door in the early hours of the green veiled morn...answer unto me...the one that you hate...the one that you need...that one that you live for....the only one who will watch you as you bleed...