[BOP slash fic] Innocence Prelimenary META: Okay, first time I've ever tried something like this, so don't be too harsh. Feedback, however, is most welcome. BOP and the characters contained therein are not mine, and I have just about NO money, so suing me would be a complete waste of time, anyway. ;) é Fair Warning: This is a slash fic. If that offends you, don't read it. I'll give it a rating of PG-13, as it contains adult themes (and language), but nothing explicit. Sparrow, I still blame you for this. ************************ (Dinah) I am seriously beginning to question this decision. Oh, not the part where I learn how to use my gifts to help fight crime and save lives. I'm proud to be able to do that, and helping out heros makes me happy. I guess Alfred could relate to that. And now I'm comparing myself to a butler. Great. Anyway, that's not the part that's bothering me. It's Helena. She thinks I'm just this wide-eyed midwestern kid that won't stop tagging along where I'm not wanted. Never mind that I've saved her life twice now. *Twice*. I've kept her from being shot, drowned by that Liquid Guy, and I've even helped keep her from going insane. Not that any of *that* matters. Oh, no. I'm just an innocent little bit of fluff, after all. All that considered, it might be for the best that she only thinks I look up to her. God knows how she'd react if she knew how I *really* felt about her. ************************ (Helena) She's staring at me again. She thinks I don't notice when she does that. She thinks she's being SO careful, only doing it when 'I'm not looking'. I don't *need* to be looking; I'm always aware of my surroundings. It's so tempting to just spin around and ask her what the hell she's looking at. She'd probably jump halfway to the ceiling. Unfortunately, I can't. Barbara - pardon me, *Oracle* - is in the middle of briefing me about the latest string of jewel robberies, so I can't get distracted. Stifling a sigh, I try to ignore her. This little hero worship thing is getting old. ***** I've been patrolling for a while, and so far nothing. Well, I *did* stop a couple of muggings, but nothing really important. This is getting so boring- Wait. Oh, good, there's been another robbery. Not all that far from where I am right now, even. Ignoring Oracle's stock warnings - don't rush in, you don't know what's waiting for you, you should wait for more information, blah, blah, blah - I set off to intercept whoever it is. Doesn't take more than a couple of minutes for me to spot a guy who simply *must* be the thief. And I don't just think that because he's dressed completely in black and slinking through the shadows. It has a lot more to do with the fact that his skin seems to be completely made of some kind of metal. "Okay, Shiny," I say. "Just hand over the rocks and turn yourself in, and I might not have to hurt you." He laughs. Excuse me? Laughs?! "Surrender? To you? Please. You cannot stand up to the might of... Metal Man!" I can't help it. I burst into outright laughter. This, for some reason, seems to annoy him. Go figure. "You *dare* mock me?!" This is just too much. I'm seriously having trouble standing now. "You... can't... be... serious," I manage to gasp out between laughs. "Could you... possibly... be any more clichéd?" He's definately angry now. "You think I'm funny? Fine. Let's see if you're laughing after this!" ************************ (Dinah) Oh, I hate this. I can't stand just sitting around, listening to the sounds of fighting coming from Huntress's radio link. Having nothing to do but worry... It's pure hell. I want to be there with her, to help her, make sure nothing happens to her. Even though, realistically, there's not all that much I could do to help in a fight. Yet. That's why I have to learn. Thankfully, neither Barbara nor Helena have figured out yet just *why* I'm so eager to become a real fighter. I *am*, after all, just a little bit of innocent fluff. Oh, no. Nononono... That sound. A cry of pain somewhere between human and animal. Then, nothing. She's hurt. Please, let her *only* be hurt. I can't breathe. I seriously can't. I know Barbara - sorry, Oracle - must be giving me a strange look, but I can't bring myself to care. We can hear whatever his name was leaving, but I still don't care. Oracle keeps trying to contact Huntress. I'm glad. There's no way I could speak. I only start breathing again when I hear a moan of pain, followed by some creative cursing. "I'm fine," she says, rather curtly, over the link. The tightness in her voice proves that a lie, but as long as she's alive I don't care. "Bozo just got in a lucky hit. I'll be back soon." Not soon enough for me. ***** Hmmph. A "lucky hit", she says? Half her face is black and blue. Fortunately, Oracle starts in on her almost immediately, giving me a chance to collect myself. I'm not going to get into their arguement. I hate it when they fight. I try and ignore it as best I can. The only time I look up is when I hear my name mentioned. Huh? What could they be talking about that would involve *me*? "You didn't want to worry anyone? Are you kidding me? I thought Dinah was going to have a heart attack as it was. And that's when you're *not* trying to worry us?" Barbara. Damn her, why does she have to bring me into this. And now Helena's giving me this... look. I'm blushing, I can feel it. "Leave me out of this," I insist, then rush back to my room. Thankfully, I manage to get the door closed before I start to cry. ************************ (Helena) Honestly, does Barbara have to go into this mother hen routine every time I get a little bump or bruise? Okay, looking in a mirror I can kind of see why she went overboard. But it looks a *lot* worse than it is. The real surprise of the evening, however, was Dinah. Barb's comment about her panic definately came out of left field. I honestly didn't know *what* to think when I looked up at her, and watched her turn beet red. She fled the room in short order. Even now I can hear her crying. She probably thinks she's being quiet, and that since her door's closed no one sould be able to hear her. But I can. Guilt is an emotion that I don't have a lot of experience with. But I'm surprised to find that I actually regret getting her so worked up. It's easy to forget how sensitive she is, sometimes. I can't help but wonder if that's something all psychics share, or if it's unique to her. That girl's going to have to toughen herself up if she expects to last long in this business. I can speak from experience. But on the other hand... Do I really want her to turn out just like me? I'll apologize in the morning. ************************ (Dinah) I don't think I'll ever understand Helena. Just when I think I've got her figured out, that she can't totally floor me anymore, she does something like apologize. I couldn't do anything but stand there with what I'm sure was a completely stupid expression on my face as she pulled me aside on the way to breakfast and said she was sorry for making me worry so much, but I was going to have to get used that sort of thing. Half the time she was looking at the wall, the floor, anywhere but my face. But at the end... At the end of her little speech, she fixed me with that lopsided smile of hers, and touched my arm slightly. It wasn't more than a quick pat, but still... I could swear I was going to literally melt as she walked away. Trying to pursue a relationship with her would be the stupidest thing I could do, I know that. She's not likely to ever view me as someone worthy to be with. Besides, if it went south, where would I go? I live here. But I can't make these feelings go away. Believe me, I've been trying. She's going out after him again tonight. I'll make some kind of excuse to not have to sit around listening to the comm link with Oracle. They'll likely agree, so as to spare the 'way-too-sensitive' girl the grief. That way I'll be able to follow her and keep an eye on her. ************************ (Helena) I'll kill her. That little... blonde! What did she think she was doing, following me around? It's a damn good thing I noticed her when I did, or she'd be dead now. It turns out that Metal Man - still can't say that without laughing - has an ability he didn't show last night: firing off these metal arrows out of his palms. He'd spotted her a second before I did, and sent one right at her head. I don't know if he didn't think I could move fast enough to stop it, or if he just wanted me distracted so he could flee - which he did. I *had* been almost winning. I managed to catch it a split second before it would have gone right through her forehead. It actually broke the skin a little bit. She looked like she was going to pass out. I'll give her credit for managing to keep a mostly straight expression - aside from the wide-eyed, shocked look on her face... Well, she didn't panic. I almost feel sorry for her, considering the chewing out she got when we got back to the clocktower. The three-way conversation that resulted was just a bit confusing. It went something like this: Barbara: Just what did you think you were doing? Dinah: I was just trying to help! Me: You know, I *can* take care of myself! I've been doing this for a while, now. Dinah: But after last night- Me: Will you stop?! I already apologized for that! Barbara: You *did*? Me: Don't change the subject. Dinah: I wasn't trying to- Me: What did you think you were going to do, anyway? Dinah: Well, I... I just... Barbara: It doesn't matter. You DO NOT go out on patrol without letting someone know. Period. Me: I can't be at my best if I've got to be babysitting you! Barbara: Helena- Me: No, Barbara! She nearly got herself killed tonight, and she could have gotten me killed, too, if whetever the hell his name is hadn't decided to run instead of fight! It was about this point that Dinah fled the room. Barbara and I continued for a while, but there really wasn't a lot we could do. Or rather, there wasn't a lot she was willing to do. That was a few hours ago, shortly before we closed down for the night. So why am I now awake? Simple. Because about a minute ago Dinah started screaming her head off. With a groan, I lever myself out of bed. If I can't get her to shut up, I'll never get back to sleep. And alright, I guess I'm a *little* worried about her. I'm not a *complete* bitch, you know. Not to say that I still won't smack her if she doesn't have a good explanation for this. Nearing the door to Dinah's room, I run - so to speak - into Barbara. Great. She really had to wake *both* of us up? The screaming has tapered off, replaced by moans and frightened mutters, punctuated by the occasional shout. Pushing open the door I can hear them more clearly, and am surprised to hear my name mentioned more than once. At the moment, she's tossing and turning, muttering sentence fragments like, "Helena, no!" and "Look out!" Damn, I knew she'd been worried - she didn't typically follow me on patrol because it was fun - but I hadn't thought it was *this* bad. I move over to the bed, shaking her gently. "Dinah, wake up!" A couple of good, more solid shakes later she bolts upright in bed, disoriented and looking like she was trying to defend herself against something. A second after that she focuses on me, her panicked expression being replaced by one of profound relief. She gives a cry of, "Oh, thank God!" and envelopes me in a hug. Completely at a loss, I manage to twist around enough to shoot a 'help me!' look at Barbara. She just smiles and makes what I take to be calming gestures. Okay, calm her down. I can do that. Somewhat hesitantly, I hug her back, whispering soothing sounds. I hope I'm not going to have to do this after every major - or even minor - battle. Eventually, she manages to recover enough to start looking extremely embarrassed. It still takes her a few seconds longer to let go of me, though. What really throws me, though, is that for a moment I sort of miss the contact. Doctor Quinzel would probably say that that was healthy; a sign that I wasn't as cut off from my feelings as I liked to pretend. That it was good that I was beginning to accept Dinah as part of the 'family'. Pity I'm not going to tell her about it. Dinah apologizes for waking everybody up - profusely, in fact - and starts ushering us towards the door, saying she'll be fine. It's rather obvious that she just wants us gone. At the doorway I tell Barbara that I'll handle things here, and she may as well go back to bed. Naturally, she's a bit suspicious, but she agrees. I guess she could see that I mean it. I know what Dinah's doing. She's trying to maintain tough front, not wanting to appear weak in front of us. I've done that enough times myself to know it when I see it. Dinah seems confused when I shut the door behind Barbara and turn to face her. "Helena...?" "Anything you want to tell me?" She looks a bit... flustered? "Well, no... I mean, I just... had a nightmare. Nothing you need to worry about." Other than that, I notice, she makes no move to make me leave. "Go back to bed," I tell her, taking her arm and steering her in that direction. She sits down near her pillow, pulling her legs up in front of her and resting her chin on her knees. She looks so young right now. She seems to be carefully studying her sheets, unable to look up at me. "Umm, Helena? I'm... fine, now. You don't have to..." I can see that part of her wants very much to ask me to stay, while the other part insists she'd be a complete wimp if she did. "Would you like me to stay?" Even I'm surprised by how gentle my voice sounds. She looks astonished. I can't blame her. She just nods, wordlessly. Now I think she's *really* trying not to cry. I grab the chair from her desk and put it next to the head of her bed, settling in for the night. Still not able to meet my eyes, she says, in a near whisper, "Thanks." I respond to that with a noncommital noise. Honestly, the things I do for my friends. ************************ (Dinah) I can't believe it. She stayed. She actually stayed the entire night. She couldn't possibly have been comfortable in that chair, but she didn't say a word. She still won't. I've been trying all morning to talk to her about last night, but she keeps either glossing over or completely ignoring every attempt. And now I have to go to school. We *will* be talking about this later. ***** Okay, I guess the conversation's going to have to wait. While she's in the middle of a fight really isn't the best time for any distractions. She didn't even wait for me to get home. I don't know why I expected that she would, but I did. I tried catching her at her job at the bar, but no luck. And she evidently went straight from there to her patrol. If I didn't know better, I might think she's avoiding me. She's currently fighting - again - against the metal guy. I'm sorry, I just can't use his 'real' name. Oracle's network of informants has been looking into trying to identify him, and have so far only come up with the name Mark. And he's doing something else, now, too. Ever since the fight started, communications with Huntress have been sporadic at best. Wait. It's clearing now. I guess the fight's over. Metal Mark, or whatever he's calling himself, isn't there. But Huntress's vitals show she isn't hurt, though her pulse is skyrocketing and her breathing's erratic. So I can't figure out how he got away. Oracle doesn't have a clue, either. Can't wait to see how she explains *this*. ***** Unless, of course, she doesn't even try. She just slipped in through the windows and headed straight for her room, ignoring any questions directed at her. He must have said or did something to shake her up badly enough to let him get away, but she just won't talk about it. Fine. She doesn't have to tell me what's wrong. But I'm not going to leave her alone in that condition. ************************ (Helena) I was wondering when one of them was going to show up. I can only watch with a mixture of amusement and annoyance as Dinah carefully edges into my room. I'd undressed and climbed into bed in what was evidently a vain attempt to discourage any further attempts at conversation. Naturally, she doesn't let something like that stop her. She can be annoyingly persistent when she wants to be. She surprises me by not saying anything as she walks over and sits down next to me. "What?" She just smiles shyly. "I thought you might want some company." "I don't remember asking for any," I reply, a bit more harshly than I'd planned. With a shrug, she quietly says, "Neither did I, last night." I slip under the covers, shutting off the table light. "I don't think so." A rustling sound makes me think she's actually going to leave, until I feel the covers move, and a sudden sense of warmth next to me. Oh, no, she did not... "Dinah," I begin, warningly. She cuts me off by the simple expedient of wrapping an arm around me and snuggling up. I'm too shocked to protest further. "You can yell at me in the morning, if you need to." I want to make her go, really I do. I realize from the way her pulse is racing that she expects me to kick her out. But she's warm and soothing, I'm tired and emotionally worn out, and she's right: I *don't* really want to be alone right now. So I just give up and let her stay. But I'm *still* not going to tell her what happened earlier. ************************ (Dinah) That had to have been one of the best things I've ever woken up to: Helena's gorgeous face about two inches away from mine. For a long while I just lay there, listening to her breath softly. She looks like such an angel when she's asleep. If I hadn't seen it for myself, I wouldn't have thought she was capable of such an expression. I think I actually managed to surprise her for once. I'm not sure if I'd have been able to get away with that if she'd been in better shape, emotionally. But if she had been, it wouldn't have been necessary. But then, she surprised me, too, by not only halting her protests, but also turning over and hugging me closer. I really had to fight to not just give in to my feelings and kiss her. I know that's not what she was looking for just then. I think she was totally asleep at that point, anyway. It seemed to be more of an instinctive motion, with Helena desiring the comfort she would never be able to bring herself to ask for while awake. Believe me, I was not objecting. I had originally intended to sneak out while she was still asleep, but she still had a pretty good grip on me. After a couple of token efforts, I gave up and settled back against her. Hey, I'd tried. She chooses right now to wake up. Her expression rapidly shifts from confusion, to what I hope is happiness, to embarrassment. Whether that's because I'm still here, or because she just noticed that she's still holding me, I don't know. Before she can say anything I smile softly and say, "Sorry about that. I tend to snuggle up like that. When I was young I had this big stuffed bear..." I trail off, smile slipping off my face. "Just... usually needed *something* to hug after some days." Then, in an almost whisper, "Or most..." A look of understanding dawns. "Don't worry about it. I'm just, well, not used to someone I'm sleeping with cuddling with me. Or sticking around at all, really." I'd opened my mouth to say something, but as her words finally sink in my train of thought gets knocked off track, ending up somewhere in the vicinity of Gotham Harbor. It takes a second, but she finally realizes what she just said. She actually looks a bit embarrassed herself. Now, *there's* something I never thought I'd ever see. "You know what I mean." "Yeah, I know." And didn't *that* sound a bit petulant. She gives me an odd look, but I manage to untangle myself from her and slide off the bed before she can voice any questions. This is neither the time nor the place for *that* discussion. ************************ (Helena) Finally, some good news: the Metal Moron is finally in jail. I actually didn't have all that much to do with it. It's easy to forget, sometimes, that there are actually police officers in this city that know what they're doing. Aside from Reese, that is. But I don't mention him in my reports if it can be avoided. Not anymore. I still remember, during the whole situation with Guy, Dinah's little comment about us "looking longingly into each other's eyes" but not actually doing anything. I don't need comments like that. And I could almost swear she sounded... jealous? I didn't think she had a thing for him. Or does she? Looking back on her recent behavior with a different perspective, an entirely different picture emerges. It would also explain her comment this morning. Or am I reading too much into this? There could easily be perfectly innocent explanations for all of it. And Dinah and innocent do seem to go together very well. Looks like we're going to be having that discussion after all. ***** I grab Dinah as she's heading to bed after brushing her teeth and steer her into my bedroom. For a second she looks bemused, and I realize she's trying to figure out if I expect her to sleep wi- er, *next to* me again. She seems to figure out that I don't, and her expression shifts into one of confusion. Understandable. I fix her with a look. "We need to talk." She immediately looks wary, but accepts my gestured invitation to sit at the foot of the bed. I sit near the pillows, curling my legs up under me. "About what?" she asks, with what I consider admirable calm. If it weren't for the way that she keeps flexing her fists, and the fact that I can sense her tension, I might think she was perfectly serene. "You. Me. These little bed sharing incidents. That sort of thing." She seems to actually deflate at that. Even with my amplified hearing, I can barely hear her "Oh." She once again develops a fascinated interest in my sheets. I reach out and gently grab her chin, tilting her face up until I can see her eyes. I can feel a sudden jump in her pulse rate. Damn. "Dinah, tell me the truth: Why do you keep following me out on patrol? Why are you so panicked when you're not sure where I am? And why does your heart seem like it might explode when I touch you?" You know, it's amazing how clearly you can see the words "Oh, shit" form above someone's head without them actually saying a word. She closes her eyes. "Please don't ask me that," she says, sounding miserable. I hate making her feel like that - a surprise in and of itself - but I can't let this drop. If she's going to be backing me up some day, I need to know about anything that might impair her judgement ahead of time. "Dinah, look, I understand that your hormones are going crazy right now-" Dear God, what the hell am I saying? Am I channeling Barbara or something? This certainly *sounds* like something she might say. "-but I don't think it's really a good idea for you to be lusting after-" Thankfully, blessedly, she cuts me off here. I'm vaguely worried that I might have started laughing if I kept that up, and I don't think that would've been especially helpful just now. "That's not it!" she says, opening her eyes and looking at me briefly, then returning her gaze to the bedcovers. Well, now we're getting somewhere. "What is it, then?" She murmers something so quietly that even I can't make it out. "What?" She sighs to herself, then repeats, louder, "I love you." Oh... shit. I'd been worried that she'd had a crush on me, but I didn't expect *this*. "I'm sure you-" Her head whips up, and I can see tears in her eyes, as well as what I can only describe as a hunger. "Don't! Don't you dare belittle my feelings, or insult my intelligence! I don't *think* it, I *know* it! Don't you think I've been trying to fight this? I've tried so hard... But I just *can't do it*, Helena. I love you. I love your passionate spirit, your courage and determination, your heart - and don't try denying it, I *know* you care very much about the people you help - the way you smile, the way you move... I love everything about you. *That's* why I get so worked up when I think you might get yourself killed, why I hate it when you're hurt." She chokes back a sob. "Alright?" For a full ten seconds I can't answer. I don't have a clue how to respond to that. "Dinah, um, look, I'm really flattered..." "But you don't feel the same way," she finishes dully. "I know. I'm not sure why I even thought you might." Why me? I know, that's one of those questions that'll never be answered, but I have to ask it anyway. Did I do something in particular to deserve to have to deal with a love struck psychic? The fact that I don't want to hurt her feelings is making his much harder than it should be. I sigh. "Stop that. You're a beautiful, intelligent, capable young woman, and I have no doubt that you'll find a great guy to be with." Some animation begins returning to her face. Unfortunately, it's not quite the kind I was trying for. "I don't *WANT* 'some guy'. I want *YOU*." "I know that, but-" "But nothing! You were asking me 'why' before, now it's my turn. Why *won't* you even consider being with me? What is it about me that turns you off so much?" It's getting harder and harder not to just lash out. I can't *hurt* her; she hasn't *done* anything. The fact that I *want* to strike her is unsettling, because I usually feel that way when I'm scared, hurt, or angry. And she's neither injured me not made me angry. And why would what she's saying be *scaring* me? "It isn't... That's not why... You don't..." Oh, yeah, I'm quite the master of conversation, aren't I? "Dinah, you're not doing anything wrong. I'm sure that if I was interested in women I'd be hard pressed to keep from jumping you right now. But..." I shrug. The entire time, she's been staring into my eyes. Now she slowly edges a bit closer. "Oh... and you don't?" She smirks. "Is *that* what you're trying to tell me?" Despite her mysterious and, in my mind, misplaced smile, I can't help but feel some relief. "Yes, exactly." She edges even closer, until she's only about six inches away from my face, and again locks eyes with me. "I think you're lying." So much for relief. "Excuse me?" "I think you're lying," she repeats. "That just kind of strikes me as a rather convenient excuse. I saw you checking out that redhead back at the bar. You wanna know what *I* think the problem is?" She doesn't wait for an answer. "I'll tell you what it is: You're scared. You know that I love you, that I'd do anything for you, and that I'd never hurt you, and you don't know how to handle that." "That is not..." I can't finish the sentence, but she can't be right. I do NOT scare easily, and something like *that* certainly wouldn't scare me. I mean... Well, really, why would I be afraid of being happy? "Dinah..." Slowly, gently, as if she's afraid to spook me - which I consider kind of amusing - she takes my hand. "Shh. Just think about it for a second. Try and imagine what it would be like to be with me. No complications, no distractions, just you... and me." Oh, sure, like setting aside a lifetime of conditioning myself to rely on no one but myself is just *THAT* easy. Alright, alright, I'll give this a shot. I close my eyes, concentrating. ... ... ... Okay, so it's not quite as bad an image as I'd thought. And, if pressed, I do have to admit that I do find her attractive. But this can't happen, if for no other reason than we're co-workers. I open my eyes, trying to brace myself to break her heart... ...and nearly jump out of my skin when I see she's moved even closer, with not even an inch seperating us now. "I saw that smile," she whispers. I don't know what to say next, but it doesn't really matter, as she doesn't really give me a chance to find out. Instead, she takes what may be the biggest risk in her life: she leans forward and kisses me. Now, I don't want to sound overly dramatic, but I think my brain actually shut off for a few seconds. Yeah, the kiss was *that* good. I don't know when it happened, exactly, but I've somehow lost control of this situation. She has me pushed against the pillow, and is unbuttoning my shirt. I can only imagine the look on my face right now, but it seems to be amusing her. "Don't confuse inexperienced with innocent," she cautions me. "Only one of them apply to me." She gives my pants a little tug and gives me a wicked grin. "Guess which one it is." I can feel a predatory smile sliding across my own face as I suddenly push her to the side and roll over to straddle her legs. "Neither's going to apply by the time I'm finished with you." What happened after that is, well, none of your business. ************************ (Dinah) Oh, my god. Oh. My. God. That was... It was... Dear God. I knew it would be amazing, but... I was nearly crying at the end, it was so incredible. I think Barbara may suspect something. Probably because Helena actually seemed interested in how my day's been going. Of course, the fact that I simply can't stop smiling may have something to do with it. Ah, well. I don't especially care. I have more important things to worry about, like making sure everything's ready for later. Helena's coming over to my room tonight. ************************************************************************************************ META/Disclaimer (2): Okay, once again, I own none of the characters in or around Birds of Prey. (Okay, the metal guy is mine, but that's not really something I wanna brag about, okay? *g*) If anyone wishes to archive this, please ask first.