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Afterglow
2000
The
way you get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others,
devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to
creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."
~ Morrie Schwartz
This little book launched an adventure of a lifetime!
As
it turns out, my "tuesdays with Morrie / Oprah"
experience was just a prelude to adventures to come.
Three
years ago when Dad's decline accelerated, I
had drastically cut my workload -- and income -- to spend time with him. This turned out
to be the single best thing I could have ever done for Dad and me, the most
rational act.
Love is the only rational act.
~Morrie Schwartz
Off
my beaten path, obscured life choices came to light, and I was able to discern
forks in the path.
Preoccupied
with Dad's illness, I had no time for the usual consumer diversions. In
time, I lost interest in material things, which greatly simplified my life
and diminished my money "requirements."
Detach.
Don't cling to things,
because everything is impermanent.
~ Morrie Schwartz
After
my father crossed over, I took the fork in the path "less traveled on". I
made conscious choices to surround myself with optimistic,
compassionate people -- blithe spirits -- at
work and at
play, and live a full, honorable and
generous life.
Instead of
reclaiming the
long work hours "to catch up with the Joneses", I set
aside chunks of time to "pay
back" to life, and "pay
it forward" and made
four agreements with life, based on a book recommended by Oprah,
herself:
THE
FOUR AGREEMENTS
by don
Miguel Ruiz
With
compassion, I released toxic, parasitic and suppressive influences. I released the pain inflicted by those whose actions were projections of their own
realities, and
I followed
Morrie's advice:
Forgive yourself.
Forgive others.
Don't wait.
~ Morrie Schwartz
or as Oprah
says it:
"Forgive everybody, everything."
I
began to consciously practice the Hawaiian way of taking from the land, sky and sea
-- ka `âina -- only what is needed. The
ancient Hawaiian net fishermen were the original catch-releasers.
Only fish enough for their sustenance was kept and consumed; the rest
were released back to the sea.
These
days, my husband and I are content to earn enough to meet our needs, travel, buy
books and music, and set aside just enough to be responsibly self-sufficient in
our old age.
We
choose to tread lightly on this world, consuming as little of its
resources as possible and minimizing waste. We practice the way of
scouting, striving to leave a place in a better state than when we arrived.
Seeing
my father leave the world with nothing, then holding his ashes in a
gourd urn in my hands, were profound, tangible life lessons.
Love is how you stay alive,
even after you are gone.
~Morrie Schwartz
We
do
not wish to burden the world with an estate of used and useless things.
We'd prefer to leave it with intangible legacies of love, memories, and life
lessons, just as Dad and Morrie did.
Their
mentorships continue.
Love always wins.
~ Morrie Schwartz
When
I am not seeing patients, I do "spirit" work,
indefatigably and almost unceasingly. And with a joy previously
unexperienced.
Since
childhood, words have fascinated me. The dictionary has been my
lifetime friend. As
a child and teen, I
loved "painting" word pictures, i.e., evoking vivid imagery by
stringing lei, not of flowers, but of words.
I
never stopped writing, but as a working adult, most of my writing was of
the workhorse, mind-driven variety: case
reports, scientific journal articles, policy writing and board committee
reports. The yearly holiday newsletter and the occasional epistle to family and friends were my heart outlets.
These
days, thanks to Oprah's
encouragement, I
indulge my passion for the written word, engaging heart, mind, and soul.
When all three merge as one, the words flow not from within, but from
beyond me.
Personally, I write
introspective journal entries and recollections. I dabble with poetry. Professionally, I write on
ethics and assist those who are hurting. Lovingly, I create
websites to educate, uplift, and share my passions with the world.
Sorrow
has given way to a full, meaningful, and creative life.
A
"Morrie" life.
...devote
yourself to loving others,
Witnessing
the erosion of ethics in one aspect of my profession, over the last
four years, I had been fending off a growing disillusionment. Dismayed, I considered leaving
my practice and returning to teaching college psychology.
Thank
goodness for the positive distractions of my father's illness, as it
returned me to the soft nurturance of my homeland, its people and its
ways, and its music, its healing music.
Watching my father fight valiantly to live fully,
I realized that I too would
not give up so easily.
By
saying nothing and leaving my profession,
I would be part of the problem.
Be compassionate.
And take responsibility for each other.
~Morrie Schwartz
To be truly loving to
those I serve and take responsibility for them, I overcame my embarrassment and spoke my truth:
An
Eye Doc's Fly in the Ointment.
...devote
yourself to your community around you,
These
days, I am invited to publicly speak about my experiences and writings. I speak
at schools, senior citizens centers, cultural groups, and service
organizations about my "tuesdays with Morrie" - Oprah
experiences, Hawaiian language, music, and culture and language, and
LASIK surgery.
Impassioned,
I speak with my full heart. Sometimes, when I step down from the podium, I
marvel, "Whatever happened to that once painfully shy me?"
Mostly, I underscore the importance of
mentorship; connecting with loved ones now; and Morrie's wisdom, "Death may end a life, but not a relationship." I
encourage others to remember their spirits, just as we, my husband and
I, nurture ours.
I
suggest that people consciously put a value to their eyesight before they gamble
on it. I
urge people to go out and use those eyes to see the beauty of the world. Now, not later.
...devote
yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.
Over
the last five years, the creation of Web sites allows
my spirit to soar beyond space and time boundaries.
The
Web sites are simple, as I am self-taught. Their objectives are to passionately help, educate, and uplift.
Via
the Internet, limitless sharing with the world community is
possible:
-
I share my
love for my father, Morrie, and the
life-altering book, "tuesdays with Morrie" with this website.
-
I share my Aloha for
my homeland and culture, thereby helping to perpetuate the once-endangered language with The
Hawaiian Language Site.
-
I
share my deep affection and concern for dogs with the
Internet community of dog-lovers with the
Emergency
Dog Links.
I
like to think of these websites as perpetuations of the Hawaiian tradition of
openly sharing with
strangers, just as my parents taught me:
A
Daughter's Reminiscence.
Remembering
My Spirit
Remembering my spirit
is now a priority. No more 12-hour workdays. No more flying hither and
yon across the country for bi-monthly board meetings. My
husband and I take the time for simple pleasures that delight our senses and
we walk, not run, in beauty.
Once you know how to die,
you know how to live.
~ Morrie Schwartz
The last year of his life, Dad teetered at the brink, and I was
called home by Hospice several times. Cecelia and
Don, two of our
biggest life blessings, competently and uncomplainingly took over
the reins at the office, whenever I had to take the next flight out.
Their
true friendship and steadfast support sustained me through the most
challenging
time of my life.
Two
years later, my husband and I seized the opportunity to be their personal tour guides of our home island.
We shared its nooks and crannies with them, its sacred, hidden spots,
its rugged beauty with them.
We swam
and played with dolphins in the wild.
And
this is exactly what the dolphins communicated to me: Joy!
Later
in the year, to celebrate our last year in our forties, my husband and I spent languid,
sun-kissed days at
our all-time favorite beach, reuniting with two
Maui angels, whose blissful, healing music lifted us -- and Dad -- up time and time again.
More
than ever, I spend my spirit time in correspondence, mostly by
e-mail, with family and friends, old and new.
To be on
national TV is newsworthy in Hawai`i, even if you are a former islander. Thanks to an e-mail friend who is
media-connected, the two big papers announced my appearance on Oprah's show:
I was
still in amazement at how LESS than 15 minutes of "fame" will do to a life. I was deluged
with phone calls, mail, newspaper
clippings, and e-mail.
The show reconnected
me with family and friends far and wide, some long-lost from childhood, high school and college.
Like my
letter to Oprah, most of the mail are notes expressing their own gratitude
for the priceless wisdom of this simple, yet profound book.
There are poignant ones, too, from those who are also experiencing the voids left
by their losses. Some piercingly so. We
share our grief openly. We exchange Morrie-isms, laughing over
them, crying over them. We share the best part of ourselves, our
spirits.
Connecting
with our spirits, we
are healing well.
Until
we meet again, I wish you a "Morrie" life, leaving you
with a quote from Morrie's mentor:
Love each other or perish.
~ Auden
If you wandered in from a
side door,
here's the front door:
HOME.
How "A Oprah Letter" Came to Be | A
Letter to Oprah |
Remembering
Your Spirit |
Morrie-isms
A
Daughter's Reminiscence
| HA:
Oprah makes an Island Connection |
SB:
Letter writer reached Oprah
| The
Power of Commitment
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