In Loving Memory of Jacob Thomas Mayers

Mom's Prayer
Jesus, there's a baby at your gate
so precious and so small
'neath the wings of the angel
you sent to his call.

Please tell him of us,
his family on earth.
How we love him and miss him,
our hearts full of hurt.

Play in your sunshine
of heaven above,
Fill his life with happiness,
and of course, Your love.

Hold him close,
And make him smile too,
Angels have to take my place,
But mostly Lord you do.

And when he gets a little bigger
Could you give him a gift from Will
Some play dough and a hopperoo,
So he can play with his brother still

Gracie giggles, "Hi Baby Jac,"
When she's drifting off to sleep
Bless her Lord, she doesn't know
She's supposed to weep.

If you can, Jac would like some fish
he loves to watch them swim.
It's his favorite thing to do,
When Daddy's holding him.

When his birthday comes around
Put a kiss on his cake,
(Be sure that it's chocolate,
that's the kind that I'd make).

Can I ask one more thing, Lord?
Each night as I lay down in bed,
Will you hug him softly
and kiss his little head?

Tell him we love him
He is never very far,
Tell him we miss him,
But carry him in our hearts.

This is a beautiful and loving gift for Angel Jacob from my dear friend, Carol, mom to Angel Michael.

Jacob Thomas Mayers 12-15-2003 to 4-18-2004

I can remember the day vividly that I called my husband, tears of joy streaming my face, with the news that we were finally expecting!! We had tried for 11 long months to get pregnant, and finally the day came on April 24, 2003 that we discovered that our beloved son was on his way. Words cannot express how overjoyed we were. My two children, Will, 4 and Gracie, 2, would soon have a baby brother !! Jacob Thomas Mayers, Jac, for short, came into our world
on December 15, 2003. We loved him so much already!

Jac was a healthy strong baby boy, very quiet by nature. A wonderful sleeper and a very hearty eater! Alot like his Daddy! He was very content to sit in Daddy's arms and just hang out with him. I could tell already that my husband was blessed with his only child,
a boy that was just like him!

At 3 months old, Jac developed bronchiolitis, and required hospitilization. I think back on the night Jac stopped breathing, and turned a shade of grey with nothing less that terror in my heart. I had never encountered a baby so sick, even having been through my two other children and tons of nieces and nephews. I immediately called 911 and the ambulance arrived very quickly, the house buzzing with all sorts of people who had come to help our boy. They took him quickly and safely to the hospital, where he was treated for bronchiolitis, given oxygen to help him breathe, monitored around the clock, and had the excess fluid suctioned from his lungs. In the three days Jac spent in the hospital, we never left his side, switching shifts so that our other children could stay at home where they were comfortable. Jac was released, without a monitor, even though the alarms on his hospital monitor would ring out every time our son slept. This monitor watched his breathing rate, pulse, and oxygen level, and would ring if one of those numbers reached a dangerous low. I also clearly and bitterly remember the nurse's discharge instructions: "If he turns blue again, give us a call". Surely this woman was not a mother! I could help thinking about the possibiltity that he may in fact turn blue again, he had had so much trouble breathing in the hospital, but still I took the medical advice to take him home and do nothing to treat him. 3 weeks after his discharge, and only 2 days after his 4 month check-up and first round of immunizations, our worlds came to a screaming stop!!

April 18th was a normal sunday for my family, my husband Willie was out helping a neighbor do some work on a truck, just 2 driveways down, and I figured I catch up on some housework. The older kids were going for a visit so it would just be me and Jac for the afternoon. I gave Jac a bottle, and changed his clothes, into a very cute little shorts set he hadn't worn yet, and he looked so adorable. I called his Daddy over so he could see him before I put him down for his nap. Willie said "hi" to his little man, made him laugh and smile and was back out to help our neighbor. I put Jac down for his afternoon nap, and started some wash and did the rest of the housework. When I was finished, I decided to go out horseback riding with my girlfriends. I took the monitor over to our neighbors driveway, and gave Willie a kiss goodbye. Never thinking for a moment that something was wrong with our dear boy
who slept peacefully in his crib.

As soon as I mounted the horse and started the trail, a guide came flying down the hill with a message for us to call home immediately. We grabbed the cell phone and called home, reaching our frantic neighbor, who told me that Jac was purple and not breathing and they had taken him by ambulance back to the hospital. We ran to our car, and drove as quickly as we could to the hospital, all the while crying and calling the hospital trying to find out what was happening
with my son. They could tell me nothing except to come as quickly and safely
as was possible.

I met my crying husband in a little waiting room, with a nurse standing by who again "couldn't tell me anything because she wasn't in Jac's room." I coudn't even form words to speak to my husband, and he couldn't either, we were so desperate with worry. After what seemed like an hour, but was only a few minutes, a detective barged into our waiting room and said to me "I'm sorry for your loss." My knees instantly buckled and I slammed down to the floor screaming "my what?" as if I had maybe heard him wrong. A moment later I raised my head off the floor and crawled over to my weeping husband. The man who had wanted a child more desperately than anything his whole life had now lost his only son. My heart broke over and over to
look at him and know that his dream was shattered that day.

We were able to see our son then, and hold him and rock him. I was in a state of shock so deeply that my thoughts still are not clear about the time we spent with Jac then. I do know that the nurses were wonderful, they swaddled his little body up and were rocking him gently in a rocking chair when we came into his room. They allowed me to clip a lock of his curly hair and they made clay imprints of his tiny feet for us to take home in a purple satin box.

I carried that box out of the hospital as gently as I would have carried my boy, and placed it
lovingly in his crib, where I would have tucked him in that night.

At his funeral, we again were able to hold our son, our beloved boy, who looked like he was happily asleep. The room was filled with mourners and soft lullabies played. I could think of nothing but cuddling my small boy in my arms and nuzzling his soft head with my cheek. I am so thankful and at peace because of the time I was able to spend with Jac that day. I will never foget the man who made it possible for me to have one last opportunity to tuck my boy in,
for his eternal sleep.

It has been nearly 4 years since our beautiful happy Jac has left us forever. We still do not know what caused his passing, and the hole that is left behind has not started to heal. We will forever love and cherish the 4 months and three days we were given to spend with our angel Jac,
but will forever wish it was a lifetime longer.

I would love to have a copy of the tattoo I got in memory of our son placed on this page.
It is the words: Jacob Thomas Mayers 12-15-03 to 4-18-04
May your tiny footprints lead me Home.

The words form an infinity sign, a horizontal figure eight, which means forever and for always
he will be my son and the boy of my heart.

We have the song "I Believe" by Diamond Rio playing on Jacob's web page
because it played on the way home from his burial.

The Loss Of A Child

You gave to us the most beautiful gift
we have ever known, O God,
and then you took it away.
There are moments when we wish
we have never known
the joy of this amazing gift,
this lovely child you entrusted to our care.
Maybe we were not worthy, God,
or faithful stewards of this charge
that you placed in our hands.
There are moments of bitterness, God,
when we are tempted to accuse you of cruelty,
when we dare to doubt
your concern and your love.
And yet we believe you are a gentle Father
who forgives our yesterdays
and blesses our tomorrows
and who knows the pain
you permit us to endure today.
We can only pray that you will enable us
to feel what we know we ought to express --
gratitude for the short time that your gift
was entrusted to us,
for the supreme happiness that was ours together.
You have taken our child, O Lord.
Only you know the reason.
We thank you because we know he is yours forever.
~ Author unknown

Dear Amy
Your Jacob touched my heart so much
I Believe he is now one of the most Precious ANGEL'S in HEAVEN.
SAFE IN GODS ARMS.
REST IN EVERLASTING PEACE LITTLE ANGEL.
Sue-Anne~~~Lee'sMom