THE MOVIES
I got to recover first from such eternal masterpieces like "The Phantom Empire" or "Lurking Fear". Not to talk about "Cyclone". I thought I've seen it all - oh boy, was I wrong!
OK, that's a classic. And it even sticks somewhat to the original story by H.P. Lovecraft, though one has to admit that "Herbert West - The Re-Animator" was one of Lovecraft's weakest works. Combs is quite convincing as the obsessed scientist. As for Abbott and Cost- sorry, Crampton, I guess both were casted to add "looks", and they try their best. They try.
Favorit scene: when Crampton realizes she's lost and Mr Strange will move in, he's got this very wicked smile on his face - sort of: hehehe, gotcha babe. That's somewhat cool. Jerry's favorit (he insisted I add this: "Leave a note saying: cat's dead, details later?"
When will there finally be a law keeping people away from doing sequels (sigh!).
Well yes, one of the "Movies The World doesn't Really Need". Combs is fine, again, a little older, a little weirder. The movie looks to me like they wanted to save money and used up leftovers (hmmmm ... what kind of? ) from Re-Animator.
Favorit scene: when West tickles the foot on the leg lying on his work table - he starts to giggle himself, and I'd bet this was NOT in the script !
Oh my god - there must have been an earthquake when H.P. turned in his grave! The movie has almost nothing in common with the original story, and maybe we should be grateful, considering in the poor quality of the cast's performance! Comb's a cool doc, looking really odd with beard and please-wash-me-hair, constantly embracing a bottle and sporting fags (english slang for cigarettes, or what did you think?!?)
Favorit scene: the interviews after the movie ... I wondered WHAT exactly Jeff was smoking there ....
Yvette Nipar was really fine in this piece of sword and sorciery. Sort of Scully meets Kidman, she's a much welcomed change from the bimbos usually haunting movies of that genre. While bad guy Kabal looks like a retired Wrestler who couldn't part with his stage outfit (well - maybe he is?) JC tries his best to be a romantic hero. Uhm ... he sure never looked better in a movie than he looked here, so 10 points for the visual value, but this sure is one of his weaker performances, he looks like he never really knows how to move or where to stand, and most of the time he's plain dull. Cool effects, though, reminds me on some Harryhausen classics from the 50ies.
Favorit scene: the fight of the dinosaurs - SFX directly from the desk of Ed Wood.
I don't care what's on the poster and the box, the star of this thing sure IS Jeffrey Combs! His agent Milton Dammers is one of the weirdest, nuttiest characters I've seen for ages, and he's fantastic! Unfortunately one can't say the same of "star" Michael J. Fox, who's downright boring, the movie is sporting some brilliant special effects, and if it hadn't opened the same weekend asIndependence Day, who knows - this might have been the big break through for JC.
Favorit scene: when Jeff first appears on scene. That's when you wake up! And I just LOVE the last scene, with "ghostly" Milton on the backseat of the cop's car!
Honored with "Fangoria's Golden Chainsaw Award for the best direct-to-video Production" or something like that (who'd wish for an Academy Award if he can get this!), this is one of Combs better things. He's quite convincing as a guilt-tortured father, but definitely less convincing as the lover (oh well...) of a prostitute. We could have done without it. But in general, the movie is dead boring. Yaaaaaawn.
Favorit scene: the expression on his face when he finds the whip under the bed - looks like he thinks "and what's that? some part of the hoover?"
One of the best things he ever did. The part of psychotic hit-man Dinosaur Bob was small, but hell, it showed what a fine actor he is.
This is no Natural Born killer clone (I hate this movie, imagine that). It's a fine work and deserves some credit.
Favorit scene: the let's-tattoo-his-head-if-he-likes-it-or-not scene!
I'm lacking words. Ever seen the scene in "Ed Wood" when Bela Lugosi has to fake a fight with an octopus? OK, here's something similar. Jeff against The Amazing Slimeball. The story is stupid, H.P. would die if he wasn't dead already, Barbara Crampton gets the golden tomato for worst performance but HEY! Jeff runs around bare chested most of the time! This sort of saves this movie. Oh, almost forgot: a golden tomato, too, for the worst ever "erotic scene" (bwoahahahahahaha! sorry. got carried away.) in a Jeffrey Combs movie. If THAT's what americans think is kinky... oh my ... never go to England ...
Favorit scene: when the third eye comes out of Jeff's forehead. My cat has a similar face expression everytime she falls off a chair.
This movie is stupid, brutal and was obviously directed by a caveman. Only explanation for Jeff's appearance (looks like Herbert West, only wearing black leather gloves all the time) can be that he had some bills to pay. I hope. (Don't tell me he likes this movie. PLEASE!)
Favorit scene: none. Too stupid.
Hey, that ain't bad! A movie I could watch all through the end without checking the fridge every ten minutes! Rip Torn is good, the story is, oh well, there are worse, and Jeff is really convincing as a psychopathic madman (are there others?) And he prooves it's no problem to build sentences with only the words Fuck and Shit in it! (huh! foul language! mummy, get the soap!)
Favorit scene: hmmm. Didn't make up my mind yet. I let you know.
Quel homme ... aaah ... il est si beau ... CHRISTOPHER LAMBERT IS WOOOHOOO!
Like it or not, Jerry old friend! ;) But as this is not the official Christopher Lambert worship page: amazing - Jeff in a good movie. Somewhere in the not too far future, it's prohibited to have more than one child. But abortion is prohibited, too (it's America. Where else.) Monsieur Lamberts character and his wife are expecting a second child after their first one died, so off he goes to an extremely unpleasant prison called "The Fortress". Here he meets, among other real characters (all actors being woohoo!) D-Day (aka Jeffrey Combs), a computer wiz with whose help they manage to escape. Unfortunately, once again, Mr Combs doesn't see the end of the movie alive, but you must have a heart of ice if you don't shed a tear when poor little D-Day dies (sniff. sob.) You MUST have this movie in your collection. Fine fine thingy!
Favorit scene: too many to count!!!
Welcome back to the classic monster movies of the 50ies. As far as the quality of the masks is concerned - I could bet I've seen a zipper somewhere! The story is quite funny, though the most frightening creature in this movie is Mark Hamill sporting a moustache (not that he'd look any better without one), but the 1h 18 min you gotta wait till Jeff graces the screen are well worth waiting for. He looks and behaves like Herbert West, only this time he's Dr. East. You can only enjoy him for 1.40 min, then he transforms into something RATHER strange!
Favorit scene: the 1.40 min from his appear- to his disappearance!
Beware! Director tried to make important cinema! The idea of having two women playing Marilyn - one the "young" (and real?) and one the big star - was quite ok. It just didn't work. Maybe because the ladies neither behaved nor looked like Marilyn. Or maybe because they were not able to catch the charm and fragile personality of this great actress. Unfortunately we have to say that there is no person on this planet looking LESS like divine Montgomery "Monty" Clift than Jeff. Maybe that's why they kept half of his face in the dark all the time. BUT: he's convincing. If you've read Montys biography, you see that Jeff is darn good in this sequence. Compliment. Good work, man.
Favorit scene: Marilyn throws a plate with Lasagna to the kitchen wall.
I just wasn't able to figure out what the hell this movie was all about. Maybe an IQ of 163 just isn't enough for this. Jeff looks horrible as H.P. Lovecraft (who had this stupid idea with his nose?!?! C'mere man, I'll redo yours!!!!) Maybe I'll understand it when I rewatch it. But I doubt it.
Favorit scene: when Jerry tried to explain the meaning of this movie ("well m'am, this is a serious horror movie..") gimme a break!.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to one of cinemas worst movies. Everytime you think you've seen movie industries rear ending, along comes another one. Like this bit. "Beware of people you meet on the internet". Well, we will. Might be one of them was the director of this movie! Jeff gives a rather convincing cartoonist on drugs as well as a perfect impersonation of my oldest brother (both looks and behaviour) and he really is a slimy character here. The only good thing in this movie - as usual. If you manage to make it all through the movie without yawning once, you get a drink.
Favorit scene: the cast list at the end of the movie.
Aaaah - Babylon 5. Loved that show! And loved it even more when Bruce (awwwww... sigh .... swoon) Boxleitner joined in. Either WB stole the idea from Paramount or the other way round, but let's be honest, folks, Babylon 5 and Deep Space 9 have too much in common to let the authors weasel out on behalf of "pure coincidence". However, Jeff Combs stars (oh well. sort of.) in this episode as a member of the PSY Corps called Harriman Grey. Unlike most of the creatures that work in this special unity he's got a concience, good for Ivanova, who just doesn't LIKE (mild. very mild expression.) to be mind scanned. The episode is fine, with a funny side-line when Garibaldi tries to fix up an "antique" (LOL) japanese motorcycle with a little bit of Mimbari help, and there are some scenes you can see Weyoun shining thru in JC's performance. If you can get a hold of a copy, buy it. It's worth seeing. Though Bruce wasn't in yet ...
Favorit scene: all I say is "Abbott and Costello" !!!!
Jeff as an action hero. Oh boy, now that's something different. There is not much to be said about this movie, though. It's one among a thousand others. Camera man films mass murder on cops, hides the tape, everybody hunts for him, including a beautiful nurse, lots of peng peng, lots of ouch and blabla and finally there's a happy end. Don't ask me why the two coppers are on the cover and not Jeff, for also if there is not much to be said about the movie, we have to admit he manages to look handsome all thru the film, and that's quite something, innit. Oh yeah, and he's still alive at the end of it.
Favorit scene: "...being thrown out of bed by a beautiful woman ..." "I'm sure this happened to you before". (shall I note nurses NEVER look like that? Shall I? Oh well...)
Now woz thiz. Crime? SciFi? Dunno. Innocent man goes to future prison, escapes to see his daughter or mother or whatever, is killed in the end, rather depressing, all in all. Jeff turns up at the very end of the movie (now guess WHO killed the hero in the end!) and is wonderful as a sadistic police captain and ok, this shouldn't be part of a movie critic, I know, but he looks extremely handsome (sorry. back to serious). Star of the movie is Gary Daniels, sort of Jean-Claude Van Damme for people who can't afford the real one, but lets face it, who would want to afford either of them. He mainly stands out for showing of his muscular chest with sixpacks. What a shame. I hate sixpacks.
Favorit scene: "... you naughty, naughty boy ..."
I guess the producer told the director "just try to cramm as much spam and clichés into this movie as you can." "Aye sir" he said, and off he went, and this is the result. Former criminal is released from prison and ... yeah, what? OK, there are these really ridiculous rasta mobsters, and there was LLCoolJay, I think, and if I wasn't completely blind, there was Snoop Doggy Dog, too, but please don't ask me what it was all about. Mr Combs? Hmmm - well, let me repeat what an official movie critic wrote: "Jeffrey Combs delivers more spam than the whole british army consumed during WWI ..." 'nuff said. He's a security guard whose best bits (I leave it up to your imagination what a man's best bits are) were shoot off (ouch! ouch I say!) by the partner of the above mentioned ex-con (Bokeem Woodbine). He turns up at the end of the movie like the revenging angel from hell, tries to shoot our hero, fails to do so but is successful in shooting himself. Ugh. But before that, he drops his pants and we can see how today's amazing medical skills managed to replace some bits and pieces. What can I say? Keep your pants on, man. The things we don't see are definitely more erotic than the ones we do...
Favorit scene: when Jeff drops his pants. Obviously you're expected to be shocked, but in fact, all you to is cringe and fall off the setee from laughter (well. happened in my case).
Before you read this: I hate The Beauty And The Beast. I can't stand Linda Hamilton. I can't stand Ron Perlman (La Guerre Du Feu was ok, though). So it's no surprise I never saw this episode till Jerry sent me a tape. Jeff performs as an extremely slimy mobster, being very convincing as a barking'n'biting lil' terrier, and sporting one of the ugliest suits I've seen in a long time. The story? Just forget about it. Poor, poor beast, bad, bad people, pity pity pity. Tears. Heartbreak. Crab.
Favorit scene: none.
I love Steve Martin. He's so great, and this is one of my favorit movies. Mind you, it took me years to realize that one of the two medical students at the beginning of the movie was Jeffrey Combs!?! I definitely need glasses. But then again, this was a very young very thin and very different looking JC. Get yourself a copy, Steve Martin is hilarious.
Favorit scene: of course, the only JC is in. He's one of two students giving a soon-to-be-operated female patient an intimate heart-shape shave, for it's Valentine's Day ... oh my god!!!!!!
Lets hear what the pro critic sez: "... the only entertaining bit on this movie being the possibility to bet what's going to burst first: Sybil Dannings suit or Jeffrey Combs trousers, both equally tight ..." I can't add much more. This is by far one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and the only comfort I have is that this is most probably one of those things you have to do to pay the bills. Please. PLEASE! The Phantom Empire makes every Ed Wood movie look like a first class high tech production. I'm lacking words.
Favorit scene: "The End"