| Check Yourself In Ok, fine, go ahead and go check yourself in. What the f**k do I care? The only giving that ever gets done is in the taking; one literally has to pay for your company. Oh, sure, it was fun throwing around the idea of an unlisted third player. All it amounts to is a sick, imitation mockery of what once could have been, what was killed and rekilled but somehow refuses to die. Now it's for naught but games and revenge - hurt me so I can hurt you; go f**k someone to give me license; lie and steal, to me, from me. You've got nothing left to ransom; everything's already been hocked. Last time this happened the phrase, "never again" finally surfaced after the turbulence became still a good year later and "never again" was my vulture and protector. So clever were you - it was such a blindside when I became your instrument of healing your receptacle and your snot-rag all on the same damn night. You played it so exceptionally well, I thought you'd finally sorted your priorities... Well you did, and the object lesson amounted to mud on the bottom. (con't, next column) |
| And f**k that whining already, we're not kids anymore, not bound by heavenly love or rings or virginity. Still I can't stand it when you run with your cell into the next room and coo soothing words to her and try to reason for her to leave her loser boyfriend. F**king hypocrite and chicken besides. You can't live without her yet you still run to me. I should try it myself, leveling with the woman, but it's hard to think straight sitting in the flames of shot-down. It grates my nerves as it kills my ego, and my little black heart grows littler and blacker. You and I have both become opposite parodies of that axiom, "You can't give what you don't have," 'cause you're craving someone with nothing because it helps you feel worthwhile but I'm not her; and lately I have nothing to give but words and more words, and my utter frustration, but I'm not her. I've got the skills perfected on you but still you'd rather f**k her and you won't say why. So fine, go ahead and check yourself in but like the last time I'm not visiting. Lately its in the wind that you've created another in your likeness and why? 'Cause it makes you feel normal as your well-worn, well-used sense of entitlement never could. Run from your problems all you want, but this one will follow you all your days. I may still, later, consciously and willingly play second b***h for a while till something better comes along and I can well and truly kill the memory of our doomed history (just like you did) by f**king you one day and having someone better and lying about it the next. So fine, go ahead, and check yourself in, but this time I'm not visiting. She can do for you this time, since she already does, can wait for you to stabilize then pick up your broken pieces over and over and over again. Let her get roped into that till she goes broke and broken herself. Why the f**k should I care? Maybe I should just tell her the truth and save us all the effort. PamEhli/2003 |
| Warning--Once again, to the easily offended and the underaged, please save us both the trouble and hit your 'back' button. For those of you still here, this is really more about anger than it is about sex, as you will see. A rant can do a body good... |
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| Since 4-16-03 |