| For the Boys Two broken little lives, two small bodies in my arms-- you deserve so much more but I am at a loss to give you anything. You were wanted, conceived in wedlock your births anticipated and celebrated. The babies who started with unending love are so confused and scared and scarred. I see it all, I'm your mom after all, and I don't know what to do, because, since I'm partly the cause, you don't trust me to be part of the cure. I don't blame you, and I'm so ashamed to have started it in part or in full for you. I'm not in good shape either, and you can tell as children always do. Maybe we should just be alone together for weeks, months, years. Maybe God could work in our lives. I, and you, haven't your other parent to fall back on anymore. He has created his own hell and ours, if we allow it to be so; so let's not. Little prophet, little angel take my hands and hug me and let's be on our way. I love you. PamEhli/1999 |
| Divorce aftermath... |
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| Since 1-20-03 |