| In Love Here's a nice long rambling piece that really goes nowhere. I saw another poet's website once where you could click a link for a "translation" of each poem. This one is of the first stage of a new love interest, but as you can see it's already a twisted aberration. Sigh. When you said those words I burst with elation & release & delight. My feigned but sought-after sleep warmed, cocooned, anointed. To your friend of a half-dozen years, you repeated yourself & again, in desperate raw tones of recent realization when I "awakened," rolled over and asked. Why did you have to say that? Like that? Your proposition--a lie that could've been overlooked had you been speaking your 2nd language. But no, you were raised in the same cultural aberration as me, so theoretically our understanding concurred. Why give me what I was seeking, force my counter-confession, then rescind? Small wonder of your misuse, I guess, for the true meaning of either word or phrase seems to have been set cross-grained in you. I opened my mouth and burning coals filled it. Slapped across the back with such a contradiction of terms, I almost willingly swallowed the whole wad. For nearly the whole sun's cycle I digested the full disclosure. And now tonight, it sticks in my gorge, provoking a figurative regurge... I have puked all over myself and you are next. Because you seek my wisdom I spill it again about the girl and the other and the other that you have just described you feelings toward in the same manner, thought the difference is obviously in inflection. I'm telling you again what my truth is. I cannot help it, cannot break your neck with words, could never want to make you bleed and scar you, regardless of my state. Still, I am unable to cut you loose either, to turn my back and let you fall. I must watch. This is something I would not normally do and know without a doubt that everyone would hear all the details, after. I am not two, I am not split, although admittedly I have often weighed the concept at large against my own intrinsic self. Before the words fell out of their own accord I stopped the acquiesce short; it was none-the-less hung there between us, heavily silent. This is the first of many, I think; or could be if I do this for you. And so ends the day with pleas unvoiced though originated and remixed internally till they beat against my brain's cage-bars like felons. What can I do, what can I be? I'll throw myself down and kiss your feet and be your slave forever. If you could only grasp a fraction of what I feel you would be utterly spell-bound. For now, I will see you every day in clarifying detail with stars on your cheeks to highlight your perfection. Oh please, oh please, just want me. PamEhli/1999 |
|
| Since 1-20-03 |