| Miss Young and Beautiful I may (kinda sorta semi-pseudo) bear the title for now, such as it is, on and off at your convenience, but it is just a courtesy stroke to my ego for the same of continued compliance. I know that in your head, behind my back and to my face both, that you are searching and seeking her. In your trip she described you and as you see her, as you see yourself and how she saw you seeing her-- all the same way. Dammit, you are reading my mind and you have internally patterned your life with her as the center. To her, you will give all and be all, or so you testify. Will you be a man for her, get the job, quit f***ing around, quit wasting all your time on daydreams? Are you planning to put yourself aside for long enough to give her even token enough to trick love out of her? I think habits are too hard to break or you would have already, at 1st glance, contact, at the beckon of your voices. This one is so special? Why? Because she had enough grace to blush at her own psychoses, and you equated this to the possibility of ripping the hymen of a 27-year-old? A virgin? Not unless she's a Christian, and that would have to be the first thing to go. Highly educated, intelligent, psi ability? Well, she's had years and years without you in her life to pursue all that. You somehow think this woman is going to accept you as you are; before you even begin any kind of relationship with her, she wants you to better yourself. What happens when she learns the truth, when she watches you flaunt yourself naked and slap "her" c*** on some other woman's face, when you breathe, "F*** ME" at every passing prepubescent specimen in her presence, when you puke out her car door in public, take her for granted once too often or make her do something that makes her feel violated without ever having touched her? Say "poopie doopie" even once and see if she draws back in disgust. Will she get a wedding ring, and if so, will you hock it to set yourself up for a week or so? Questions and more questions, all unanswerable, based on this freak of perfected artiface who probably doesn't even exist. PamEhli/1999 God, its tough to compete with someone's ideal woman, especially when she isn't real and when she isn't me... |
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| Since 1-20-03 |
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