Whoever You Are

It is only because I'm so wounded
that I'm thinking of you at all.
I hold myself strong and knowledgeable
and carry on, caring, coping;
trying to emanate humor and dignity,
but I'm really just bleeding.
After that slow bleed-out of poisons,
which could leave a really long trail,
for I must walk on always,
I may resurrect, if I'm lucky,
if I am healed, if someone loves me.
I feel as if that someone were you,
if it started now,
my emotional hemophilia could be stopped.
It's a lie, for even so
the old blood clots remaining
would rot and stink and want out just the same.
Better you find me down the road a ways,
better prepared to train and be trained by you
in the ways of fresh and new love.
But I still wish it was now,
whoever you are.

PamEhli/1998 (January)

Still haven't found this person...probably never will. So be it.



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Since 1-20-03