| Words Against the Way it Is I need you here, now, in every way. I, who need nothing and nobody. You, who have more than I ever did, or less. You've messed with with my head, took out and rearranged some of the parts, fixed, added; broken. While I let you, even invite you to f*&% with my mind, the phone grows warm from touching my skin, and that'll all. Oh, and your tawny voice, always half-drunk on life... ...And so I hear about C. and E. going at it; in your off-handed way you're saying he's good... With me and him it was cold pizza, because he never really wanted it, I guess, and it's a blow to my ego to have to wonder about my own imagined (or not) skills. Then there's you, that I remember as my best, and last, goddamn it. Would T. understand if I just happened to show up, huh? There's no reason for latching on to you now, but I guess I always defied reason. I can hear it now, the dead silence, followed by, "Well, I'm sorry but..." Life has been so entirely perfect, the only dark cloud is wondering when it will fall. It's my blessed candlelight, this thing, part memory, part fantasy, part hard-core reality. Where you are is what's doing the best for me, the not-really go-between and pin cushion. We were set up, you know. I wouldn't have you out of your natural element even though I want you here, now, in every way. PamFriedEhli/1990 The queen of angst speaks.Yes, it happened at camp. I was technically gone, but I had to get in the last word. And around it goes... Back to Camp and Rapid CIty Back to Miscellaneous Page * Back to Home Page |
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