Cats in
Physics*
1 - Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some
outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying
mouse.
2 - Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good
reason to change direction.
3 - Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct
proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
4 - Law of Cat
Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a
cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
5 - Law of Cat
Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap
just taken.
6 - Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as
uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.
7 - Law of Cat
Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter
top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
8 - Law of Cat
Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready
to stop.
9 - Law of Dinner Table
Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
10 - Law of Rug
Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
11 - Law of Obedience
Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to
do something.
12 - First Law of Energy
Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will,
therefore, use as little energy as possible.
13 - Second Law of
Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
14 - Law of Refrigerator
Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along
and take out something good to eat.
15 - Law of Electric
Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed
of light.
16 - Law of Random
Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable
spot in any given room.
17 - Law of Bag / Box
Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the
earliest possible nanosecond.
18 - Law of Cat
Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment
times the amount of human laughter.
19 - Law of Milk
Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
20 - Law of Furniture
Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the
cost of the furniture.
21 - Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible.
22 - Law of Fluid
Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount
of milk consumed.
23 - Law of Cat
Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount
of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
24 - Law of Pill
Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape
velocity.
25 - Law of Cat
Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
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