Pronounced pet-poo, we are an organization dedicated to the rights of pumpkins. Is there any more deserving entity? Consider the lovely orange roundness of this gentle fruit. Pumpkins only wish to live in peace, they will not lash out in spite of the horrors we visit upon them. They are truly magnanimous.
We at P.E.T.PU. strongly believe in eating meat. We know far less about a pumpkins state of existence than a cows. Isn't it possible that pumpkins feel pain and anguish? We know how to treat a cow humanely but how does a pumpkin feel when its umbilical like vine is torn from its root system. How long does it take a pumpkin to die? Pumpkins don't have any well-funded, misguided organizations fighting for them. Isn't it hypocritical to fight for animal rights while fattening up on pumpkins? Perhaps total abstinence from food is in order for the animal rights extremists. Pumpkins wouldn't miss them and neither would we at P.E.T.PU.
Halloween, night of horror, harvest of terror. How can we call ourselves a civilized nation after carving and then displaying the grotesque corpses of pumpkins on our stoops? Stop the butchery and the madness, end the silent screaming of tormented pumpkin souls. Surly if artificial Christmas trees are accepted decoration then artificial jack-o-lanterns must be too. O what fun to decorate orange colored styrofoam pumpkins with reusable Mr. Potato HeadŽ features.
We must change our pumpkin perceptions in order to change our pumpkin behaviors. The youngster in the photo wasn't born with a desire to wear a pumpkin. Most assuredly an adult gutted the pumpkin and placed the child inside. This young person will probably grow up to be a pumpkin abuser too. Look closely at the picture, is the pumpkin smiling?
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