Episode 19 - Take Two
ACT ONE
INT. THE GENERAL'S MANSION/SASHA'S ROOM - DAY (DAY
ONE)
SUBTITLE : FIVE DAYS EARLIER
From darkness, we slowly FADE UP to Sasha's room which
is still and dark. Sasha sits by herself on a chair,
staring at a wall.. an unsettling intensity on her
face. We hold on this quiet, eerie silence and
disturbing stillness for a long beat. We slowly TRACK
away from her, making her looks smaller and smaller in
the empty, silent room.. as if dissapearing into the
darkness. All is silent as we slowly FADE TO BLACK.
EXT. MAGIC BOX - DAY
to establish. Everything nice and calm. People
strolling happily pass the storefront
INT. MAGIC BOX - DAY
ANGLE : ANYA
behind the counter, smartly dressed, smiling and
standing still.. holding a very unusual pose.
We hear a click off-screen. We WIDEN to reveal Anya,
still holding her frozen pose, handing a little bag to
a customer over the counter. Both have a hand on the
little bag. Behind the two of them, we see a small,
weaselly-looking photographer, repositioning himself a
little for another shot.
REPORTER
Okay, just a few more..
He begins clicking away while Anya smiles widely.
CUSTOMER
(annoyed; quietly to Anya)
Can I have my bag now?
ANYA
(quietly through her fixed
smile; without looking at
the customer)
Picture, picture.
The reporter continues to click away. The customer
begins to tug at his purchase. Anya tugs back, all the
while, smiling determinedly at the camera.
REPORTER
(lowering his camera)
Okay, thanks.
The customer finally pries his bag free from Anya. He
takes a look inside and then back up to Anya. Anya is
still watching the reporter intently, excitement in
her eyes. She finally notices the customer standing
right in front of her.
ANYA
(still smiling)
Off you go.
The customer gives her a confused look, then walks out
towards the exit.
ANYA
(calling chirpily to the
customer)
Come back soon!
We hear the customer exit with the tinkling of the
door-bell. Anya switches her focus back on the
reporter who has wandered over to another part of the
store. Anya runs around from behind the counter and
scoots over to him.
She notices him staring at some items on a shelf in
front of him. She follows his gaze.
ANYA
(excitedly)
Oh! we just got these in on Monday.
She grabs a jar containing a collection of strange,
red objects immersed in some yellowish liquid. The
reporter takes a step back from the jar, looking
fairly disgusted.
ANYA
(enthusiastically)
Lizard tongues!
She holds it up next to her face and strikes a pose,
yet another smile beaming from her face. The reporter
wearily takes her cue and snaps a picture. Anya is
giddy with delight.
ANYA
Where do you want me next?
The reporter silently answers with a look. Anya takes
no notice.
ANGLE : WILLOW, TARA AND XANDER
all sitting casually on the edge of a table, watching
Anya.
WILLOW
(horrified)
Xander, make it stop.
TARA
(eyes on Anya)
It's like I don't wanna watch, but I
do?
WILLOW
(to Xander)
She does know he's here to do a
piece on the store, right? Not
looking for the next host of E!
Xander just stands and smiles, looking at Anya.
ANGLE : ANYA
still enthusiastically pestering the reporter. Xander
catches her eye. She smiles and waves a little wave.
ANGLE : XANDER
smiling back with a little wave of his own.
ANGLE : ANYA
smiling, then.. remembering the reporter, she rushes
back into action. She notices the reporter taking a
picture of some shelves containing merchandise. She
rushes in front of it and poses.
The reporter makes a little face to himself, as if
dreading how long this assignment will take. Giles
walks across the frame with his nose deep in a book,
not noticing Anya or the reporter.
REPORTER
(to Giles)
I suppose you want to be in this
shot too?
Giles looks up, befuddled.
GILES
Sorry?
Anya looks as if she doesn't want to share the
spotlight.
ANYA
Oh, no need to bother the help.
GILES
I beg your pardon?
ANYA
(apologetically to the
reporter)
Excuse us.
She leads Giles away by his arm to a little corner of
the store.
ANYA
(conspiringly)
I'm sorry.. but I'm really only
thinking about the store. See, It's
a well known fact that a pretty face
always gets people through the
doors, so it makes sense for me to
be in the shot.
If they publish my picture, readers
will come flocking to the store..
the store benefits.. everybody's
happy. If they publish your picture,
they'll think they've hit the
obituraries.
(pats Giles shoulder with
a smile)
No offence and all that. Okay? Good.
With that, Anya skips back over to the reporter
leaving Giles with a less than amused look on his
face. He takes a deep breath and then heads away off-
screen.
ANGLE : BUFFY
standing near the door, looking out at the scene
outside the store. She looks tense. Giles arrives and
stands next to her.. mumbling into his book.
GILES
I'm in the prime of my life.
Obituraries. Really.
Buffy continues to stare intently out the window.. not
really listening.
GILES
I mean, have you heard of anything
so entirely ridiculous in your life?
Buffy doesn't answer.. her eyes focused out the
window. Giles looks up from his book to Buffy.
GILES
Buffy?
Buffy snaps abruptly out of it.
BUFFY
Huh? Who died now?
Giles gives Buffy a look.
BUFFY
(off the look; quickly
correcting herself)
No one died.
(then finally processing
Giles' words)
No one's even close to dying.
Especially not, you know, healthy,
robust watchers with full, long
lives ahead of them.
Buffy pleads with her eyes, hoping she has served her
penance. Giles still looks unmoved.
BUFFY
(struggling)
I mean, look at you. You're like
fit, and.. and glowing. You know
what? You're like a God.
GILES
(quickly cutting in)
That's enough.
BUFFY
Oh, Thank God.
Giles resume his diatribe, seemingly letting Buffy's
inattention go.
GILES
(looking back down into
his book)
I mean, I realise I'm not exactly
young. But I hardly think I'm that
old either.
BUFFY
Uh huh.
Buffy's attention starts to wander again. Her eyes are
drawn to the window again as a stranger walks by it.
GILES
Everything's relative. I only seem
old because I'm around you lot all
the time. I'll have you know I come
from a family with a history of long
shelf-lives.
BUFFY
(distractedly looking out
the window)
Uh huh. Like Doritos.
Giles looks up slowly and glares at Buffy. After a
beat, Buffy registers the silence and looks at Giles.
BUFFY
(panicked)
Not Doritos.
Giles looks unamused.
BUFFY
I'm sorry. Just keep pitching them
in there Giles. I'm bound to hit one
soon.
GILES
What is it Buffy?
Giles takes a look out the window Buffy has been
staring out of.
REVERSE ANGLE : THE STREET OUTSIDE
through the window. Nice, bright, day. People walking
by. Nothing out of the ordinary.
GILES
(turning to Buffy)
You seem distracted.
BUFFY
It's nothing. It's stupid.
Giles closes his book, giving his full attention to
Buffy.
GILES
Let me be the judge of that. Lord
knows I'm no stranger to acts of
stupidity.. what with hanging around
you lot for the last few years.
Buffy smiles a little, then takes a deep breath and
looks outside the window deep in thought.. as if,
trying to formulate the words.
BUFFY
I don't know. It's just this whole
playing keepsy with the amulet
thing. I guess it's got me on edge.
I mean, I keep expecting the General
and his lackeys to burst in any
moment.. waving their little swords
followed by that whole thing with
the fighting and the mayhem. Sure,
I've racked up the frequent flyer
points on that whole deal but
still..
Giles nods.
BUFFY
But I mean, it's daylight. They
can't be bursting into the shop
cause they'd be too busy bursting
into flames. Right? And like, they
don't even know where we've hidden
the amulet so why would they even
come to the shop in the first place?
And again with the daylight.
Buffy shakes her head and looks at Giles.
BUFFY
I told you it was stupid.
GILES
It's not stupid Buffy. It's smart.
We can't assume that we will be
safe, even in daylight. Not with the
General and Sasha.
(takes a solemn look out
the window himself)
Not with the stakes so high. They
will come.
Giles turns back to Buffy.
GILES
(with a calm, reassurance
in his voice)
They will come.. but we'll be ready.
Buffy nods, looking a little less tense.
ANYA (O.S.)
Hey!.. If you want, I could sex it
up a little.
Buffy and Giles turn to stare at Anya harrassing the
reporter and his camera. Giles looks as if he's trying
to expunge that last sentence from his memory.
GILES
(sarcasm)
Long have I desired to hear that
word used as a verb. I may now die a
happy and content man.
BUFFY
(smiling)
Why did you even let Scoop there
come here? I mean, I really don't
think it's the best thing right now
to increase our face-time in this
town.
GILES
(kinda defensive)
I don't really see any harm in
letting them do a story on the
store. I mean, life must continue.
Best to stick to a routine and..
Buffy gives Giles a knowing look.
GILES
(with a sigh)
It keeps Anya off my back.
BUFFY
Got it.
Buffy looks over to Anya and the reporter.
REVERSE ANGLE : ANYA AND THE REPORTER
Anya posing with some kind of statue in front of a
shelf. Sexing it up. The photographer gets ready to
take the picture.
ANGLE : ANYA
as she poses like a spokes-model in front of her
valued merchandise.
We hear a camera click off-screen and the image of
Anya freezes. The colours slowly fade to black and
white as we pull out to find we are now looking at a
picture and are now at..
INT. THE GENERAL'S MANSION - DAY
where we see a pair of hands flipping through a
succession of photographs taken at the Magic Box..
most of them containing Anya happily posing in the
foreground.
ANGLE : SASHA
the owner of the aforementioned pair of hands, staring
down at the pictures.. unimpressed.
SASHA
Is she in every single one of these?
We WIDEN to see Sasha and Solomon standing next to
each other, both looking down contemptuously at the
photographer/reporter who stands below them, dwarfed
by the two impressive vampires.
REPORTER
(carrying the expression
of a man who's had a long
day)
Hey.. you weren't there.
Sasha and Solomon start walking. We see Solomon still
sporting a bandage where his hand used to be. The
reporter follows behind them.
As we TRACK the three, we can see many vamps huddled
over several large tables, sorting through a stack of
photos on each table. The reporter takes a querying
look at the buzz of activity around him.
REPORTER
(all chummy)
So.. you guys have got quite the
operation going on here. You people
lookin' to buy property or..
Sasha stops, turns around slowly and gives the
reporter a clear "shut up and go away" look.
REPORTER
(defensive)
It's because I'm short isn't it?
Solomon turns and gives the reporter the same look.
REPORTER
Okay.. okay. Geez.. you try to be
cordial. Just pay me and I'm gone.
And no personal cheques. I've had
bad experiences with your kind
before.
SOLOMON
(threateningly)
Kind?
REPORTER
(oblivious)
Yeah, you know, vamp..
(suddenly noticing
Solomon's look)
um.. vam.. vam-tastic.. vam-oulous..
va.. oh screw it, just gimme my
money.
Both Sasha and Solomon level the reporter a deadly
look. Sasha smirks..
SASHA
Tarwin..
The large and imposing figure of Tarwin steps into the
light behind the reporter. The reporter turns around..
cranes his neck up and looks suitably threatened.
SASHA
Give the man what he deserves.
The reporter shifts uncomfortably. Tarwin reaches to
his side and pulls out a knife. The reporter stares at
the large, curved blade and gulps.
REPORTER
It's because I'm short isn't it?
Tarwin turns the knife around and hands it to the
reporter with its very decorative and expensive-
looking handle facing him.
REPORTER
(confused.. taking the
knife, then relieved)
Oh..
SASHA
I think you'll find that will be
ample compensation for your time.
Sasha and Solomon turn to go.
REPORTER
Hey.. Wait! I don't know where you
guys have been, but up here in the
real world, we've moved on from the
barter system.
SOLOMON
(threateningly)
You just don't know when to shut up
do you?
REPORTER
I may be a demi-cup, but I know my
rights. We clearly agreed on cash.
SASHA
Put it this way. Either you take
that knife now and leave or..
(nodding to Tarwin)
my large friend over there will find
some other uses for it. Shall we
say, more creative uses.
The reporter takes a second look at Tarwin. Tarwin
gives a half smile/half snarl. The reporter runs a few
thoughts through his head and turns back to Sasha.
REPORTER
Well, I always thought the barter
system was underrated.
Sasha smiles. She, Solomon and Tarwin leaves. The
reporter stares at them for a while then turns to
leave himself. He bumps into a passing vamp.
REPORTER
Hey! Watch where you're going you
big, lumbering giant. There might
not be much to me but I'm a small,
fiery ball of fury!
The vamp just looks at him dismissively. The reporter
straightens himself up.. then walks off with as much
dignity as he can muster.
ANGLE : SASHA AND SOLOMON
as they stop in front of another table filled with
pictures being sorted by assorted vamps. Sasha is
still flipping through the latest batch of pictures
from the Magic Box in her hands.
SASHA
(to herself as she flips
through the photos)
Where is it?
As Sasha is preoccupied with the pictures, we see
Solomon spot something off-screen and head that way.
Sasha remains focused on the pictures..
ANGLE ON : THE PICTURES
as Sasha flips through them.. picture upon picture
focused on the shelves and the many items in the Magic
Box. Pictures of closed doors. Pictures detailing
virtually every inch of the shop.
Nothing captures Sasha's attention until one of the
pictures shows Giles in the foreground, reading a
book. Sasha stares at this picture for a longer beat.
She runs her finger slowly over the image of Giles.
SASHA
(in a low voice; to
herself)
What have you done with it Rupert?
Sasha looks back up looking for Solomon. She spots him
hovering over one of the tables. Sasha heads over.
She sees Solomon staring at one of the pictures on the
table. Sasha peeks over and sees that this is a table
filled with pictures of Willow, Tara and their dorm
room. She sees Solomon staring at a picture of Tara.
Sasha looks dissapointedly at Solomon.
SASHA
Why can't you just let it go?
Solomon ignores her.
SASHA
This is the time to be focused. When
we lose focus, we make mistakes. We
will hesitate. We must never
hesitate or all shall be lost.
SOLOMON
(without taking his eyes
on his prized picture)
I won't.
Sasha sighs and shakes her head. She reaches out and
tenderly caresses the side of Solomon's face.
SASHA
You are family. I don't think I can
bear losing you Solomon. You have to
take care of yourself because I
can't always be there to look out
for you.
Solomon flinches away from Sasha's hand. She turns to
look at Sasha.
SOLOMON
I don't need your help. I know what
I want. I will get what I want.
Solomon pushes his way past Sasha, who looks down
dissapointedly at the ground, then turns to watch him
depart.
ANGLE : SOLOMON
as we TRACK him as he blows past several tables,
including one populated by four slightly spaced-out
looking vamps sorting through some pictures. We stop
TRACKING Solomon and stay on the four surfer vamps
(who are permanently vamped out)
GRIPING SURFER VAMP
Dude.. what are we doing here? We
should be at the coast by now,
waiting for the tide to come in.
One of the vamps.. let's call him philosopher surfer
vamp.. looks a little older than the other three and
sports a beard and a pony-tail.
PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP
Dude.. I told you. There has to be
more to life than catching waves and
snacking on sun-tanned meat.
IDIOT SURFER VAMP
(who looks a little more
spaced out than the
others)
Dude.. I could go for some of that.
PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP
Look, we all agreed to give this
whole world domination thing a try
for a few days.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
(to gripy surfer vamp)
Yeah dude..
(sticking out a crooked
fifth finger on his closed
hand)
We pinkie promised.
Some unconvinced looks amongst the remaining surfer
vamp disciples.
PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP
Listen.. we can either catch waves..
OR..
(slowly and with great
importance)
we can catch the wave of life.
A beat as this new nugget of wisdom sinks in. The
group nods appreciatively.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
Dude.. that is deep.
Philosopher surfer vamp allows himself a little self-
indulgent smile.
PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP
Once in a while, a dude has to
listen to his inner dudeness calling
out to him.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
(agreeing earnestly)
You have to listen to the big dude.
PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP
And besides, they're all saying this
thing here will be over very soon
anyway.
GRIPING SURFER VAMP
And after that?
PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP
After?
(big grin)
We surf!
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
Dude! Word!
The four vamps give each other high-fives. Peppy
surfer vamp spots something off-screen.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
Hey! Isn't that..?
REVERSE ANGLE : THE GENERAL
trailed by Harmony holding a tray. The General steps
into the sorting room, a golden goblet in his hand. He
steps over towards Sasha at one of the sorting tables.
THE GENERAL
So Sasha, have we managed to locate
our little trinket?
SASHA
We will my General. It is only a
matter of time. We have eyes in
every place we know they frequent.
Well, every place except for the
slayer's house. She guards it well,
which isn't all that surprising
considering that is where her sister
lives.
THE GENERAL
Ah.. her sister. If you ever see me
get that attached to a simple ball
of energy, be so kind as to put me
out of my misery.
SASHA
Well, they are a weak and emotional
lot.
THE GENERAL
Women?
SASHA
(levelling the General a
slightly offended look)
Humans.
Sasha notices Harmony quietly listening in to their
entire conversation.
SASHA
(to Harmony)
You may leave.
Harmony stands indignant.. putting an annoyed hand on
her hip and looking at the General. The General simply
smiles, places the empty goblet on Harmony's tray and
nods. Harmony grudgingly leaves.
THE GENERAL
You're far too suspicious Sasha.
She's but a child. She's harmless.
SASHA
(still watching Harmony)
We shall see.
(turns back to the
General)
Our numbers are dwindling. Every
time we replace one of ours with an
outsider, we are weakened. Morale is
low. The slayer is stronger than
they expected and many are beginning
to have doubts about whether she can
be defeated.
THE GENERAL
Well, well.. perhaps a speech is in
order. Something to rally the
troops?
SASHA
That would be wise, my General.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP (O.S.)
Dude!
The General and Sasha turn to see the peppy surfer
vamp approaching with the other three surfer vamps in
tow.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
(addressing the General)
Dude! Are you the dude?
Tarwin, seeing this ruckus, comes over to the
General's side.. eyeing the four surfer vamps closely.
THE GENERAL
I suppose I am.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
(turning back to his
friends)
Dude! That's the dude!
(back to the General)
This is one bodacious spread man. I
mean, I had some doubts when I first
got here but this is totally
bitchin'!
The General stands bemused.. not quite knowing what to
make of peppy surfer vamp.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
(holding out an open hand
in the air)
Give me five bro!
Tarwin sees this and promptly pulls out his axe and
starts to swing it back.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
(backing up)
Whoa!
THE GENERAL
(waving Tarwin off)
It's okay Tarwin. Can't you see,
he's one of us now.
The General puts an arm around peppy surfer vamp and
starts leading him towards the head of the large
sorting room.
THE GENERAL
Come. Let us be brothers in arms.
Peppy surfer vamp shoots a filthy glance back towards
Tarwin as he walks away with the General.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
(like a hurt child)
Chill dude..
The General leads peppy surfer vamp to the head of the
sorting room. Tarwin and Sasha by their sides. All the
vamps in the room immediately pay full attention to
the General as he addresses them, his arm still around
peppy surfer vamp. The three remaining surfer vamps
stand at the front of the congregated vamps.
THE GENERAL
My brothers. We have come far and
our goal is near. Let it be known
that the amulet will soon be back in
our possession. Let it be known that
the slayer will soon be dead.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
(to the vamps; like a
sidekick to the General)
Yeah..
THE GENERAL
We are stronger. We are more, but we
are also.. one. One group of
esteemed warriors who have fought
and won many battles together. One
family, whose ties shall never be
broken. And every day, more of our
brothers come to join us. Every day
we are strengthened.
(turns to peppy surfer
vamp)
And what is your name brother?
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
Eddie.
THE GENERAL
Well, Edward..
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
Dude, it's Eddie. My mom called me
Edward.
Tarwin snarls in the background.
THE GENERAL
Well Eddie, you, and every one of
you in this room, will soon be part
of the new order. We will have this
world and its pitiful existence and
turn it into something more..
something better. Something we can
call ours.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
(to the vamps with a
clenched fist)
Righteous!
THE GENERAL
But I hear some of you may have
doubts. Perhaps your fortitude is
beginning to waver. Maybe your
strength of belief in our great
cause is weakening.
PEPPY SURFER VAMP
(to the vamps; chastising)
That's just not right dudes.
THE GENERAL
Fear not, for you only have to
remember one small thing.
(softer and more intently)
Now listen closely, for I will say
this only once.
The vamps subtly lean in closer to hear the General.
The General suddenly tightens his grip around the
peppy surfer vamp's neck and with a quick,violent
snap, decapitates him. Dust. The General stands and
savours the moment as he watches the fear in the eyes
of the vamps before him.
He turns with a flourish and walks out.. Tarwin and
Sasha in tow.
ANGLE : PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP AND GRIPING SURFER
VAMP
as they stare open-mouthed at what has just
transpired. After a beat, we see idiot surfer vamp's
head pop up between the two from behind.
IDIOT SURFER VAMP
(confused; whispering)
Dude. What did he say? I couldn't
hear him.
GRIPING SURFER VAMP
(without turning back)
Dude. You're an idiot.
ANGLE : THE GENERAL AND SASHA
as they walk down a corridor.
SASHA
That wasn't exactly what I had in
mind.
THE GENERAL
It will do for now. Once our true
army rises, we will have no need for
any of these vermin. They can
slither back into their dark corners
and finish out their pathetic lives.
SASHA
But..
The General puts a dismissive hand up as he continues
walking with Tarwin, not looking back. Sasha stops.
THE GENERAL
Find the amulet Sasha, and
everything will be right.
As General dissapears with Tarwin, Sasha looks back
down at the photos in her hands. She begins to flip
through them again. She suddenly stops.. noticing
something.
SASHA
(to herself)
What have we here?
REVERSE ANGLE : A PHOTO
showing Anya proudly holding a long stick to the
camera.. that is, the Toth stick.
ANGLE : SASHA
as a smile creeps across her face.
EXT. CAR PARK - NIGHT
At a deserted car park, we see Buffy, Giles, Anya and
Xander loading an assortment of heavy-duty weapons
into Giles' car.
XANDER
(while loading weapons
into the car)
Man, who knew there was such a thing
as a slayer's savers superstore at
the mall?
BUFFY
Forget about that. Who knew there
was a Watcher's card? I mean, 10 per
cent of everything?
XANDER
Sweet.
GILES
(admiring a fine-looking
crossbow)
Well, officially such a store
doesn't exist. It simply converts
itself from a sports-goods store
after the mall closes. Only a select
few people know of its existence.
ANYA
How can a small business survive
without any kind of advertising?
It's madness.
GILES
It does advertise itself in various
select publications, such as the
Watcher's newsletter.
XANDER
The Watcher's what-now?
GILES
The Council distributes the
periodical in order for Watchers
from around the world to keep
abreast of current Council-related
events.
XANDER
(sniggering)
Giles said 'abreast'..
(off looks, stopping)
Okay.. growing up now.
GILES
(with pride)
In fact, I write a monthly column..
being that I'm the only watcher in
the field with an active slayer. And
also because, I have to say, many
have commented on my delightful turn
of phrase.
Buffy, Xander and Anya share a look while Giles smiles
to himself.. lost in his thoughts. Giles then notices
their looks.
GILES
(back to work)
Yes.. well..
BUFFY
(to Giles)
That's a whole interesting sub-
culture you've got working for you
there.
ANYA
Yes. Except for the whole 'interesting'
part.
BUFFY
(takes a sword out and
waves it around)
I, for one, am just glad we're
finally gearing up for a serious
battle. Crossbows, bows, stakes and
swords? All the good.
XANDER
Yeah, there's nothing like arming
yourself to the hilt to bring a
sense of peace and contentment to
your soul.
BUFFY
You know what I mean. Not that the
General was exactly goofing around
before, but in light of recent
developments..
ANYA
Yes. Why settle for regular when,
for just the price of an amulet, you
can super-size the danger.
BUFFY
Exactly. They've waited a hundred
years for this and I'm guessing they
won't be waiting a hundred more.
They're gonna bring in the big guns
for sure. We just gotta be ready for
anything guys.
Suddenly, from faroff, we hear footsteps clapping on
the cement car-park floor. Footsteps getting louder as
they approach the car.
BUFFY
What's that?
Cue : Strident, ominous, fighty music.
ANGLE ON : A PAIR OF FEET
from heel-cam; striding purposefully towards the car.
We widen slightly to see three pairs of feet, all
walking in unison.
ANGLE : BUFFY, XANDER, GILES AND ANYA
all stepping forward to face the intruders.
ANGLE ON : THE THREE PAIRS OF FEET
now from the front as we slowly TILT UP. Music builds.
We continue to TILT UP until we see.. the three
remaining surfer vamps. Music stops abruptly.
The three look skinny, scraggy and not at all
intimidating.
PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP
(with as much menace as he
can muster.. which is to
say, not much at all)
Slayer.
Xander can't help but snigger again. The surfer vamps
don't look impressed.
BUFFY
(dibelievingly)
You've got to be kidding me. We've
gone from Hathos and giant rats
intent on world domination.. to
this?
ANYA
(quietly)
Personally, I still can't believe
that whole giant, talking rat thing
took place.
(off looks; petulantly)
But that's apparently not important
for now.
PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP
We come at the behest of our
General.
IDIOT SURFER VAMP
The dude.
PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP
Yes. The dude. He wishes to have
back what is rightfully his.
BUFFY
Oh, he does? Well, guess what guys?
It's mine now and I have a feeling
I'm gonna be all keep-y about it.
PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP
You're simply inviting bad karma
into your life dudette.
BUFFY
Hey! That's Miss dudette to you
surfer boy.
PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP
Surely you don't want to risk
negatively affecting your re-
incarnated soul?
BUFFY
Judging by this sucky life I'm
having, I'm guessing it can't get
any worse.
PHILOSOPHER SURFER VAMP
So be it. I suppose we'll have to
take more aggressive action. But
remember, we won't enjoy killing
you.
Buffy takes a look at the vamps, down at her sword in
her hand and the arsenal of weapons at her disposal,
and then back to the vamps.
BUFFY
You guys are kidding right?
Buffy holds up her impressive-looking sword and lets
the light catch the blade.
BUFFY
You see this thing here? I know it's
all pretty and shiny but, it also
has the happy knack of making dead
things dead-er. You guys want a
taste?
The surfer vamps look intimidated.. backing off ever
so slightly.
Suddenly, from the darkness.. we hear a voice breaking
through the night.
SASHA (O.S.)
No fair.
The Scoobs turn behind them to see..
ANGLE : SASHA
emerging from the darkness behind them.
SASHA
(with a smile)
Me first.
GILES
Sasha.
SASHA
Rupert. Last time I saw you, you
were wriggling your shapely behind
in my face, hanging on for dear
life.
Xander and Anya shoot a curious side-long glance at
Giles, wondering just what kind of hi-jinks he's been
up to. Giles simply stares at Sasha.
BUFFY
(stepping up towards
Sasha)
Sasha.
(looks at her watch, then
back up quizzically)
Don't ever remember seeing you this
early in the night.
(with a faux compassionate
face)
Slow night for tricks huh?
Sasha smiles and unsheaths her sword.
SASHA
(gesturing to Buffy's
wound on her right side)
Perhaps you need a matching wound on
your left? In fact, give me a couple
of hours and I'll give you the
entire set.
BUFFY
Why don't you come get me.
SASHA
(vamping out)
I'm ready.
ANGLE : IDIOT SURFER VAMP
as he leans to whisper to griping surfer vamp.
IDIOT SURFER VAMP
Dude. This is kinda hot.
Buffy and the gang begin to ready themselves for
battle as Sasha and the three surfer vamps slowly
begin to close in on all sides.
SASHA
Oh. There is one more thing.
Tarwin emerges from behind Sasha, proudly carrying the
Toth stick.
ANYA
Hey.. HEY! That's our stick!
Giles and Buffy share a slightly worried look.
SASHA
Now we're ready. Tarwin?
We see Tarwin raise the Toth stick and aim it in the
general direction of Buffy and the gang. He seems to
be having trouble getting it to work.
Anya takes the opportunity to take a few steps up
towards Tarwin, her hands at her hips.
ANYA
(indignant)
Stop that! You're damaging the
merchandise.
XANDER
An..
ANYA
No, if they're planning to use our
stick to zap us, they should at
least pay for it first.
SASHA
(rolling her eyes; then to
Tarwin re Anya)
Start with her.
Tarwin smiles and finally manages to let off a bolt
towards Anya. Anya ducks for cover as the bolt misses.
her.
ANYA
(to Tarwin; as she
scrambles for cover)
We'll continue this discussion
later.
Cue : fighty music.
Buffy and Sasha launch themselves at each other, while
Giles, Xander and Anya take on the three surfer vamps.
Tarwin meanwhile has trouble working the stick again.
ANGLE : SASHA AND BUFFY
a fairly even fight with swords as they both
demonstrate their speed and agility.. ducking and
jumping to evade each other's blade. Buffy manages to
get a kick in, connecting with Sasha in her face and
flinging her through the air and landing metres away.
Sasha looks up angrily and growls.
ANGLE : GILES, XANDER AND ANYA
taking on the three surfer vamps. Giles and Xander
fight side by side, both carrying stakes. Anya,
meanwhile, has found the relative safety of Giles'
convertible.. standing up and trying desperately to
load a crossbow.
The three surfer vamps attack with enthusiasm and
fervour but with little actual, fighting ability.
Giles and Xander manage to continually knock them back
but they keep coming.
Finally, we see griping surfer vamp charge in at
Giles. Giles evades, gets behind him and stakes him in
the back. The vamp lets out a last howl before turning
to dust.
Philosopher and Idiot vamp look stunned at this
development, just standing back and staring for a
beat.
IDIOT SURFER VAMP
(staring at the falling
dust)
Dude.. wipeout.
The two look at each other, then decide to high-tail
it out of there.. dissapearing into the night. Xander
and Giles look on.
XANDER
Man, why can't they all be like
that.
Anya sees something.
ANYA
(yelling)
Xander! Look out!
Xander turns to look.
REVERSE ANGLE : TARWIN
as he raises the Toth stick and aims it towards
Xander.
XANDER
(frozen to the spot)
Oh God. Not again.
Giles leaps towards Xander and pushes him out of the
way just as Tarwin shoots. The bolt misses as Xander
and Giles scramble behind the car, taking cover. Anya
follows suit.
Tarwin, now fully understanding how to work the Toth
stick, unleashes a barrage of bolts at the car,
pinning the three down. Tarwin laughs with evil
delight.
ANGLE : BUFFY
turning to see her friends in trouble. She starts to
rush towards them.
Suddenly, Sasha leaps into her from behind, knocking
her in the back. Buffy falls hard to the ground where
she remains lying still.
Sasha looks down contemptuously, then wipes a little
blood from her lip and looks at it.
SASHA
(looking back down at
Buffy)
Bitch.
Sasha looks towards Tarwin.
SASHA
Tarwin!
Tarwin turns to look.
SASHA
Now!
Tarwin nods and stops firing towards the car. He turns
towards Sasha just as Buffy suddenly springs back up
and leaps into Sasha.
The two grapple violently with each other,
alternatively spinning their backs towards Tarwin.
Tarwin has the Toth stick raised and aimed towards the
pair, waiting for the right time to fire.
Sasha and Buffy continue to grapple, neither gaining
the upper hand.
Tarwin waits.. and waits, then fires. We see the bolt
speed towards Buffy and Sasha. The bolt hits. Buffy
and Sasha are thrown apart from the force of the bolt.
They both lie still at the place they fell.
ANGLE : GILES
looking up from the car and seeing this. He takes the
crossbow from Anya, stands and aims towards Tarwin,
then fires.
Tarwin turns to see the crossbow bolt speeding towards
him. He raises the Toth stick up to deflect the bolt.
The bolt smashes into the middle of the stick and
splits it into two pieces.
Tarwin looks at the two pieces of sticks in his hands,
growls and then throws the sticks away.
Tarwin rushes over to the groggy Sasha and helps her
up, dragging her away from the scene. They dissapear
into the night.
ANGLE : BUFFY
as she begins to get up groggily. She takes a look at
the two departing vamps and breathes a deep sigh of
relief. She sees Giles, Xander and Anya rushing
towards her.. Anya leading the way.
BUFFY
(to Anya as she approaches
with concern)
I'm okay.
Anya, ignoring Buffy, blows right by her and heads for
the broken Toth stick. She picks it up sorrowfully
then turns to Giles.
ANYA
Giles.. you broke the merchandise.
Meanwhile, Giles and Xander help Buffy to her feet.
GILES
Are you okay?
Buffy takes a moment to regain her bearings. Looking
at herself to check if everything is still intact.
BUFFY
Yeah.. yeah. I think so.
She then looks all around her, as if searching for
something.
BUFFY
I'm still living the singular Buffy
life right? I mean, there's no other
me lying around here somewhere?
Xander and Giles looks around.
XANDER
Doesn't look like it. Tarwin must
have missed.
BUFFY
(relieved)
Good. One Buffy good. Two Buffys
bad.
Anya clutches her precious broken stick to her chest,
hurt that no one senses her pain. She dolefully begins
to walk back to the car.. then sees something that
stops her in her tracks.
ANYA
You guys.
Buffy, Xander and Giles turn to Anya.
ANYA
You better come take a look at this.
Buffy, Xander and Anya slowly walk over to Anya to
take a look at what she's looking at. Their faces
convey absolute shock with what they see.
BUFFY
(turning to Giles)
Oh no.
Giles nods solemnly. Buffy turns back to look at..
REVERSE ANGLE : SASHA
a non-vamped, very scared and confused looking Sasha,
sitting on the floor next to the car. She backs up
from their gaze, and then looks away from them. She
curls her hands around her knees.. as if protecting
herself.
BLACKOUT
END OF ACT ONE
CONTINUE TO ACT TWO