Crystal and Russel

Crystal lives on the second floor of my staircase and she is a big redneck. She took me to a redneck wedding and i had the time of my life. Russel is her beefy boyfriend who sleeps in her room more than she does. Not only that, but they both come from Cambleford. Where is that, you might ask? Buttfuck Nowhere!

Crystal busted her knee a while ago, so she's a crippled redneck. She used to play rugby because she is trying to get strong enough to beat up Russel. He drives cars in Derbys, which i think is pretty cool. He also plays rugby, and if you insult his hono, he will challenge  you to a duel. Crystal says he's backwards and i agree.

I've never met Russels' friends, but i'm sure they could kick my ass. Crystal has some friends next to her, like Steph.

I've only met Crystal's family and they are really nice, except for her dog; he smells like ass. I assume Russel has a family, otherwise, how could he have been brought into the world? I suspect that he was bought in the bargin bin in Cambleford's local store. I think Crystal put him together backwards.

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