Truths About the Walt Disney World College Program
What you should really expect going into the Disney World College Proram
You are there to work, not anything else
Guarantee that you will work on all holidays
There will be many days where you will be asked to work 11 hours or more
While it is up to the manager as to whether they will give you food that will get thrown out anyway, don't anticipate that they will allow it. Speaking from personal experience, more often than not, they would rather see you throw away somewhere between 20 and 150 turkey legs away than see you and your fellow Cast Members have one.
If you call in sick the day after a free PI night, they look up if you went there the night before
In addition, if you call in sick and go to a park, they can tell that too.
You will be guaranteed to have most of the closing shifts; CP doesn't just stand for College Program, it also stands for Closing Person or Company Peon
You will often be asked to work 6-day weeks. Your one day off may be the day you have to spend in class, if you take one
You will often be given the worst, dirtiest jobs
At the Presentation, they tell you about all the malls and other attractions in the area. If you are automotively challenged, don't count on seeing any of these things. In addition, unless you are motivated enough, don't count on finding time to go on one of your potentially two days off.
If you work at Magic Kingdom, start praying! If you are working on Main Street, forget it! Prayers won't help you now. Count on, not only staying till the park closes at 1 am for almost-daily after hours parties during holiday and summer seasons, but also for the 40-60 minutes in which Main Street stays open with the rest of the park, and add an hour for closing after that!
Unless you have class, you are game to work; you may even be scheduled to work on your class day
There is a weekly list of people who they can call on their days off to come in to work if they need it. Hope you don't get on this list during Thanksgiving/New Year's week and end up having to work 7 days in a row.
You will meet the dumbest people in your life here; people who will ask questions so innane, you'll wonder if they are for real.
You will be forced to wear a uniform so ugly, so fruity, and so horribly conceived you wouldn't even want to wear them trick-or-treating, let alone to your job on a daily basis.
What a Cast Member says, and what they really mean
I'm sorry, we don't serve those here
Can't you read the menu?!
Sure, I can give you directions
Why don't you have a guidemap?!
Thank you, have a nice day!
Let's keep the line moving, people!
Yes, we can have them make that special
Why do you have to make this more complicated than it should be?
We'll tell someone right away that they're out of straws
That's not my job right now
Don't worry, I can replace that for you for free
I don't care. Doesn't come out of my paycheck!
The iced tea is unsweetened, is that alright?
Don't comeback here complaining and make me replace your drink
We'll get more turkey legs/hot dogs/beer in about 15 minutes
How should I know when we are getting more?
The park closes at...
The park isn't closing soon enough!
Yes, we've been really busy today
So many people, so little time! I want to shoot myself!
We don't accept tips
I'd be happy to relieve you of any extra funds
I know, it's expensive...
What did you expect?! This is Disney World!!!
Do you want to go to PI tonight?
There's absolutely nothing better to do than get buzzed
I like that ride/park...
I like that ride/park because I don't work there
Having fun?
I'm not having fun
I'm sorry, only one beer per ID
This is not my lame policy
I think you can buy those over there
Maybe you can buy those over there, I don't know!
The show starts at 7:00
Can't you go read the sign over there for yourself?!
It hasn't been very busy today
Today has been incredibly boring!
I'm working on it
Someone else may or may not be working on it
I'm sorry, we're not open yet
You're not allowed to bug me until the time on that sign
I'm sorry, we're closed
HA HA! I don't have to deal with you!
or
Go back to your hotel already!!
Can I take your picture?
Give me something to break up the monotony of this stupid job!
Yes, I work here
No, I don't work here. In my spare time, I like to dress up in this horrible getup and clean off tables I didn't mess up.
Hold on, I'll get someone over here who speaks Spanish.
Learn to speak English before you get to this country!
Disney Vocabulary
Guest: Customer; because Disney World likes to make its customers believe that it is not another service-business like an insurance agent, or car wash, rather you are like guests in someone's home and therefore should be treated as such. However, you are there to make sure they keep spending money.
Disney Point: This is a point with the index and middle finger, versus just the index finger (also used commonly by flight attendants when pointing out all 6 exits). Supposedly, this is because in some cultures pointing with just one finger is rude. In addition, as it was explained by a guy acting just like Jack McFarland from Will and Grace, it reminds one of when their mothers used to wag their fingers at them when they were bad.
In reality, once they get you into the habit of doing it, it is hard to break; in situations outside Disney, one often uses the ever-annoying Disney point. Cast Members often talk of their own version of the Disney Point that has only one of the 2 fingers and the one is not the index finger.
Role: The position you are stuck in for working for your 7-4 months.
Cast Member: The poor suckers who have to wait on the guests.
On Stage: The part in front of the guests; where Cast Members are not allowed to do anything but work.
Backstage: Everything not in front of the guests; where Cast Members eat, drink, rest, break, smoke, dump trash, and complain about the guests amongst themselves.
ER (early release): What managers give employees when the park is not very crowded and they have too many people working. However, if close every bloody night, you can't even hope for one of these.
1099: The code for having to go to the bathroom and needing someone to watch your bank.
Protein Spill: The nice way of saying vomit that needs to be cleaned up.
Costume: A horrible get-up that you will be made to wear that supposedly goes with some theme. However, it seems as though they were designed by someone who was colorblind, or just has an incredibly sick sense of humor. You are guaranteed to loathe what they make you wear. However, some are more tolerable than others.
Wellness Apartment: An apartment where they hold up all the people under 21 (and those who do not want incessant parties in their apartments) where no alcohol is allowed. If you are unfortunate enough to be stuck in one of these apartments, hope you can get a friend to buy you alcohol at Walgreen's, or go to the parties in the non-wellness apartments.
After-hours Parties: (ie Mickey's Not-So-Merry Christmas, or Mickey's Very Scary Halloween Party or E-Ride) Events after the park has closed for people paying extra money to be there. They make the Cast Members stay until 2:30 in the morning. This is a time when they love to schedule CPs.
GT or General Teller: The people who are in charge of the money. They get pissy when you make them do their job (asking for change, voiding items, filling in for 1099s), taking away from there incessant smoking breaks.
Seasonal Person: They only work for finite periods of time and fewer hours; they are like CPs but they seemingly have more rights.
One-Beer-Per-ID: A lame policy that only allows guests to buy one beer per person. Nothing stops people from coming into the line multiple times for multiple beers, however...
Vista Lay: Another name for Vista Way. No further explaination needed.
Security: The people you have to show your ID to upon entering Vista Lay Way. Also set on breaking up parties; if you have too many loud parties, they will begin to suspect you first.
Epcot Center Drive: A well-signed road, but very unforgiving if you screw up. In addition, this road has the worst drivers in the world.