Pay It Forward
Some time ago, a friend
told me, "You MUST see this movie." Since then, other
friends, unknown to each other, insisted the same.
A recurring comment
was, "It's what you do."
I would ordinarily be spurred
immediately into action by this synchrony of comments. And
besides, the cast is stellar: Helen Hunt, Kevin Spacey, and the kid
from "The Sixth Sense", Haley Joel Osment.
But I was wrapped up with
a few projects. I even noticed the title on the
marquee of our little theater in the mountains and quickly put it out of
mind.
A week ago, a friend
checked back to see if I had gone to see it. I had not. She
exacted a promise from me: I would not wait until it came out in
video. I would see it soon.
Well, the movie was no
longer playing at our little theater in the mountains. And I had promised.
So, we stayed in town this weekend and yesterday, my husband and I drove down to
theater row on the marina to see it.
My friends were
absolutely right. Like hitting the nail on the head. Ping!
The movie, "Pay It
Forward" (as opposed to pay-it-back) is about a child
who has an idea on how to
create a better world: if a kindness comes to you, pass it on to three more
people and challenge them to do likewise. So one becomes three.
Three becomes nine. Nine becomes 81. And so on...and so
on...and so on.
It *is* close to
what we do! We, my husband and I are in full agreement with the
movie's premise of paying it forward.
Sometimes, we muse about
how a book of our lives might read, and we laugh out loud. It would read like an imaginary story of the Field of Dreams - E.T. -
Pollyana variety.
But we know what's real in our lives, and we've had an
inkling for a long time as to why we live bountifully gifted, blessed lives,
why ours have been lives of non-stop miracles.
We are not special.
We just learned from others how to invite goodness and kindness into our lives.
I take that back, as I
believe my husband came in to the world "pre-wired"
with kindness. Speaking for myself, life is wonderful because I
followed the examples set by
powerfully kind role models and mentors.
Full credit goes to the elders of my childhood : my Grandma, my
Grandpa, my parents,
Aunty Alana, Aunty Chick & Uncle Ted, Isaac, Mrs. Isbell, and my spiritual
mentors, Mary Kawena Pukui, Albert
Schweitzer, St.
Therese, and The Peace Pilgrim
among others.
The movie gets very close
to what they taught me. Case in point:
This site is a direct
result of what they taught me; it is all about the idea of Pay It
Forward.
We're thinking
big.
The mission is to pass
this site's message forward globally. Not
just to three more.
To whoever seeks it, wherever they may be. The Internet
makes it possible to reach out to the world. Of course, with your help, but more on that
later.
But the movie stops short
of fully disclosing the "the whole enchilada."
The boy's idea works well
just as it is. But if you want it to work at its very best, here's
what I learned from my elders that puts booster rockets to the idea:
The Pay It Forward
idea works
best when done as anonymously
(as possible) AND without any
thought of getting something back in return.
Not to worry about
running out of energy to fuel your good deeds, as whatever you
believe the Higher Power to be will keep paying you forward, often down along the path
and in unexpected ways -- as long as you do your part in paying it
forward.
One caution: I say
"as anonymously as possible." Sometimes, working in
cooperation with others, however, gets things done faster and better.
And that's very okay.
Also you
can get obsessively secretive and reclusive, risking alienation from your circle of friends and family. Those who need to know, let them
know.
As tempting as it is, try
not to get all noble and superior about it.
I find that paying it forward
using pen names works
for me. It has nothing to do with being intriguingly mysterious,
but just putting good elder advice into action.
And besides this relative
anonymity preserves my solitude time to keep researching and writing without
distraction. Like I am, right now.
My elders were very free
and open about sharing their methodology of doing for others. Just
their good deeds were kept secret.
So secret that only with
the passing of years have I become aware of many of their gifts. The
master giver is one who gives from the heart, so
surreptitiously that at the time of giving, the recipient hasn't the
slightest clue of being given to at all.
Now that's true mastery
in giving!
Further down the path
in life, I realize that many people have no
idea what giving from the heart is all about.
Some find these concepts are so foreign, even bizarre, that
they just can't wrap their minds around them:
"Whadda ya mean, give
away something without being recognized for it? Are you nuts?
Giving to perfect strangers? Why give if you get nothing back in return? How will any
one know what a wonderful, generous person I am? I want my name
engraved on that gold plaque!"
In this complicated
world, perhaps it's just too darn simple to be
believed. Or in a materialistic world, maybe it doesn't cost
enough to be of value.
I really don't know.
I do know this.
I'll stick to my simple world. And my elders' free advice. It
worked for them, it works for me.
Maybe it'll work for you.
Before I leave, I thank
those who told me about the movie, and yes, it was worth giving up a weekend
in the fresh air and open spaces, as the movie was a breath of fresh
air, inspiring me to share my elders' teachings with you on this open space
on the `Net.
The movie also taught me
something new:
Challenge the
recipients of your deeds to
PAY IT FORWARD.
"So one becomes
three. Three becomes nine. Nine becomes 81. And so
on...and so on...and so on."
And so I challenge
you: If you have benefited from this site, pass it forward to three more.
