Home
Yugo
New Car
Drive In
Microsoft
Racer
Shotgun
Company Car
Mechanic
Driver's Home
10 Commandments
Ford/Honda Merger
Car Repair Tools
Too Much Horsepower
Car Names Explained
City Driving Rules
Used Car Salesman
Classified Ad Translator
Classified Ad Translator 2
Bumper Stickers
Driving Test
Mercedes Driving Test
You Are What You Drive
Oil Changing Instructions
User Submitted Jokes
Real Insurance Claims
Drive Thru
Driving Fun
AOL Car
Beat Up Car
Hate Your Car
Classified Ad Translator 2
Must Sell - Before it blows up.
Runs Fine - I was going to say "runs excellent" but I had a last minute attack of conscience.
Needs Some Body Work - Was side-swiped by a Winnebago.
Well Maintanied -I occasionally change the oil.
Looks Like New - Just don't try to drive it anywhere.
All Original - I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced.
Loaded With Options - Each one more troublesome than the last.
Never Smoked In - Unfortunately, that's the best thing I can say about it.
Project Car - I can't figure out how to finish it and I doubt you will either.
Lots of Potential - To drive you insane.
Needs Minor Repair - Doesn't run.
Engine Quiet - Uses 90-weight oil
Parts Car - Beyond repair.
Rough Condition - Too bad to lie about.
Immaculate - Recently washed.
Concours - Recently waxed.
Needs Minor Overhaul - Needs engine.
Needs Major Overhaul - Phone the junkyard.
Burns No Oil - It all leaks out.
Rebuilt Engine - Cleaned the spark plugs.
Drive It Anywhere - I live on a hill.
Drive It Anywhere - Within 10 miles.
Desireable Classic - No one wants it.
Rare Classic - No one wanted it even when it was new.
Stored 20 Years - In a farmer's field.
Ran When Stored - Won't start.
Never Apart - Bolts too rounded to loosen.
Solid As A Rock - Rusted solid
Restored With 0 Miles - Won't start.
Restored With 2 Miles - Won't stay running.
Older Restoration - First owner washed it.
Good Investment - Can't be worth much less.
No Time To Restore It - Can't obtain parts.
95% Complete - Other 5% doesn't exist.
Clean - Homeless dude at 5th and Main did the windows.
Good Transportation - It's ugly as sin.
Engine Blueprinted - I don't know what it means either.
Exellent Gas Mileage - It's slow.
Low Miles - The odometer was turned back.
One Owner - Can't give it away.
Sure to Appreciate - That's why I'm selling it.
..Or Best Offer - I'm guessing here.
Faster Than A 'Vette - A Chevette.
Other Interests Conflict - Spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@# thing goes or I do!"
« Back