Here are SOME of the men that have had a profound impact on our world (and others) and have exemplified qualities only described as...Wow, amazing...dude...
Alf: an acronym for Alien Life Form, he warmed our hearts in the 80's and is still a hit in those annoying football oriented long-distance company commercials...Also, he's a great hero for Anne as he devours the cat population
Cpt. Jean Luke Picard: As the hard-ass leader of the S.S. Enterprise, he popularized the bald head look. Yelling at Number One to keep order, saving us from Warfs evil relatives and going bolder where no man has gone before, I hold him resonsible for making "The Next Generation" the better Star Trek. Liberachi: Well, what is there to say, he made women's hearts swoon-but some men too as we were never quite sure of his sexuality as he had a flamboyant nature, with a lavish taste for color and sequins and a tremendous skill at the keyboard. Hats off to your ambiguity, Liberachi... Bob Terwilliger: Our resident evil in the fair town of Springfield, he is my favorite character on "The Simpsons." I think its the charming gromble (Hi Katy) he emits as he steps upon a rake, or has any pain inflicted upon him. His singing voice is spectacular too, plus he's witty-"It actually means, 'The Bart, The'." George Michael: As his predecessors, like Liberachi, he was once confused - hence the catastrophe "I want your sex." Although gay now, he was once a sexual icon for the ladies. Even D.J. Tanner had his pin-up behind her bed and was in love with him, Yikes...Despite the fact that he was partially responsible for the train-wreck that is Limp Bizkit, we still adore him. Uncle Jessie: Speaking of "Full House," I thought I'd mention the Elvis-inspired, rockin' uncle on the show. Uncle Joey paled in comparison to the antics of Uncle Jessie. He made a video starring his dumb twins and said "Have Mercy" a lot, but his hair to die for, I say that assuming you watched the show and know of his obsession with his dark coif... Tony Little : He is the reason I want to purchase the Gazelle Freestyle. It is the quintessential infomercial of all time- Tony, his flowing hair, his bodacious bod, and ostentatious 'tude. I want that damn exercise machine! Damn you Katy! But, oh, well...I'll just look forward to everyother minute that the infomercial is playing...even on B.E.T. Matthew Broderick : Damn you Matthew Broderick! Ever since Katy found out he was the voice behind the older version of Simba, he's been the topic of hatred. Try to watch "The Lion King" w/o visualizing him. Also, I'd like pay homage to "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," even though I missed about 3/4 of it because I fell asleep-sorry Ian... Martin VanBuren and William H. Taft : Two wonderous presidents remembered not for their leadership tactics, but rather extreme characteristics. Take VanBuren for instance, you may recall his marshmallow cameo on the famed "Pete and Pete" T.V. program. He was the guy with the gigantic side-burns. As our 8th president, I have no idea what he did because I was mezmorized by those hypnotic, humongous side-burns. And there's Taft. He was our 27th president and the biggest, to date. We're proud of his extreme gluttony, not his skills as a politician. Danny Bonaduce : He was addicted to drugs and was a child star...wait, don't those go hand-in-hand? He also beat up a transvestite prostitute in his later years, but you may remember him from "The Partridge Family" as the annoying red-head-Hey, Katy, you can identify with him...you know, the drug problems and the attacks on transvestites...But Danny is pretty funny none-the-less... Brad Majors : Because that's who Barry Bostwick is! Damn Pepsi all to hell. But Brad is the timid prude off of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." I own a shirt brandishing his half-naked bodyand during the play version of "The Rocky Horror Show," he held my hand and sang me a love song...Oh-who-ooh...(The Helga noise for Arnold). Mike (from "Mystery Science Theater 3000) : He is one third of the hilarious trio on the raved about T.V. show. Alongside Tom Servo and Crow he slanders the B-rated, crappy Sci-Fi movies that he is subjected to. (The movie explains it all) It's a damn funny show and a good movie as well, but too badit is being held captive in the depths of Anne's VCR. A.C. Slater : Our favorite character on "Saved by the Bell," only surpassing Zach because of his mullet, baggy patterned pants and classic 80's iron-pumping persona. He was the standard for "hunk," and was the coolest and most buff guy at Bayside High. Too bad his career floundered after high school. Kevin Nash: This is only for Katy...We know him as the "Sexicutioner" from the NWO. He's a wresting extraordinare and Katy's imaginary Beau. Sorry for this scant review as I really don't give a hoot aboot Mr. Nash, but we'll excuse Katy's bad taste... Mr. Beau McTighe : He's the best. Although I detest chemistry and all of its elements (ahhh!), I resist the urge to run screaming from the class everyday because of Mr. McTighe's humdingers of zingers. His witty banter keeps me awake amidst the molecules, formulas and "The Who-ole Mo-ole." Some examples would be his use of the phrase "Hell in a handbasket," how he pronounces "pack-idge" and the super-secret exclusively 5th period "Micky-Mack" and the "Micky-Mack Dance." These men don't grow on trees, they are prestigious enough to be posted under this title. They are the creme de la proverbial creme, the cream of the crop, "sittin' on the dock on the bay, on top of the world...I'm out." This is the climax of my list-and no matter how insipid, uneducated and idiotic the previous part was, pay attention to the following... 3. Kevin Bacon and Costner: Possibly the worst actors in Hollywood, they are Katy's and my alliaces. We wear their names with pride as they are behind some of the great masterpieces of our time. Where would we be w/o "Wild Things," "Tremors" (I and II) and "Footloose?" Or what would the world be like if "Waterworld," "The Postman," or "Tin Cup" hadn't been created? I know i wouldn't be the same w/o these pieces of utter gutter-worthy crap movies. Plus, isn't the 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon game the best? 2. Tony Danza: He is the definitive poor portrayal of an Italian image, only touched upon by Joey Tribiane. Maybe it's the hair or the fact that he strred in one of the 80's finer T.V. shows "Who's the Boss." But whatever it is, he simpley irressistable (not attraction wise, mind you). Imagine him hosting, singing and even participating in a tap-dancing sequence during a beauty pangeant. Don't try to stifle that laugh. But according to Katy's mom, that is the field he was trained for. I don't want to talk about the incidences that ensued the event of witnessing his performance...Hold me closer Tony Danza... And bum-buh-dah-duh! The mot infleuntial of the influentional, in all history...A drum role please... 1. Dr. Drew Pinsky and Adam Carolla: They are the most influential and inspirational of men in history (as far as I'm concerned). Dr. Drew, with trusty Adam, host Loveline, which solves the "love" conflicts of today's, yesterday's and tomorrow's generations. But they can only exist as a pair. Have you ever listened to the fabulous show crumble when one of them is missing and the inadequate Dr. Bruce or feeble Striker are subbing? There isn't the chemistry or legitimate answers needed to let the show survive. Dr. Drew is needed because he is a passionate, passionate man and Adam is required to patrol, harass and blatantly say what screwballs the youth and elders of society are today. You could use their drops such as "you stinkin' whore" or "you're gay" or the wildly popular "the world is your oyster, cuz that's all the world really is," but it's only funny if they're actually there, so they can confuse the caller. Their radio program is the triumphant winner of our attention every night and as it should be. Do you know any other men with boogies, shuffles and jams dedicated to them? I think not. Adam is spreading the word of why anal sex is wrong (it makes the baby Jesus cry), why Adam is so lazy (it's like 20 sets of stairs, not 10) and what's hot ( those Reebok shoes with the velco tops un-done). Dr. Drew's acknowledging the fact that 50% of Americans have herpes, have weight issues (you're fat, you're overweight) and don't have a proper homelife (where's Daddy?). Because of their righteous indignation, Dr. Drew and Adam, we salute you. Well, that's it, Thank-you for perusing my list, created and compiled by me. And don't fill my comment box with spiteful remarks about how stupid this was...of course it was lame, I made it...But your thoughts on the matter don't count anyway...You know you're thinking, "I dohn know, but I dohn hate it!