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Tammy's Christian Writings

November 17, 2000
Thelma Elaine Rudstrom

To KNOW HIM and THE POWER OF HIS RESURRECTION is my passionate cry! (Phil.3: 10).  And my innermost joy is that He has promised I will be like Him when I see Him like He is.  Oh, what a longing, what travail in spirit for the manifestation of the sons of God, to know Him as He is and to be like Him, (Romans 8:19-23).

Earnestly, prayerfully desiring to let God take over in this vessel He is making in His image, I am momentarily unable to comprehend, to distinguish when ‘self’ begins the struggle to take over.  When ‘self’ does take over, and I do not exactly know how, I have seemingly lost THE WAY; But have I?   I know I have not lost THE WAY for Jesus Christ is THE WAY and I have not lost Him, (John. 14:6).  And I know The Holy Spirit has come to lead me IN THE WAY, IN THE PATHS TO DWELL IN, (Isa. 58:12; John. 6:13; Ps. 23:3).  He, the Holy Spirit will fan the floor of ‘self’, purging my conscience from dead works to serve THE LIVING GOD, (Mt. 3:12; He. 9:14).  But somewhere, God knows, I have lost my peace.  I have not lost PEACE WITHIN for Christ is my PEACE; and I know I have not lost Him.  He is our PATH to dwell in; I know I am dwelling in THE PATH, but I perceive or merely surmise that  ‘self’ took over somewhere.  And, with the loss of peace, confusion is everywhere.  With confusion comes every evil thing: stress, anxiety, and fatigue; responsibilities; heavy, HEAVY burdens, all hell has broken loose within and without.  I am feeling the desperate responsibility to keep everything in order and under control.  I pray, ‘Lord keep my focus on You!’  I trust He will and He does.

But meanwhile, I am under deep condemnation.  Yet the Blessed Holy Spirit of God brings to my remembrance THE WORD, “If my heart condemns me, God is greater than my heart”.  I am hearing THE WORD.  I am able BY THE GRACE OF GOD to keep my focus on HIM WHO IS THE WAY.  I cry out to Him in desperation, in deep humility and contrition, “Self is ruling again!  How did this happen?  I desire for YOU to rule my life.  I need to be purged from this disaster of ‘self rule” for it is killing me!  ‘Self’ would kill me if it could.  But it cannot! ‘self’ is diminishing through the purging of the blessed Spirit of God so that the LIFE OF CHRIST can have full sway!  I know The Spirit of God is fanning my floor.  I said, “FATHER, take over”.  HE said, ”Will you let Me do it?”  I said in all my weakness, “YES!  I want YOU to take over and rule my life for YOU ARE GOD!  YOU ARE THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE GOD!  PRAISE GOD!

Walking IN THE WAY, IN THE PATHS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS FOR HIS NAME SAKE, I know HIM WHO IS MY PEACE, I know HIM WHO IS MY RIGHTEOUSNESS, I know HIM WHO IS MY REST, MY SECURITY, and I am free from the law (I Cor.1: 30) and I am walking in HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS and all is perfect and beautiful, whole and complete IN HIM!  I am conscious of the fact that I am “His workmanship created IN CHRIST JESUS unto good works”.  “He will not forsake the works of His hands”(Ps. 138:8).  Our HEAVENLY POTTER has CHOSEN to take this broken vessel to remake it in HIS perfect image, (Eph. 1:4; II Thes. 2:13) (Jer. 18:2-6; Isa. 64:8;) He will maintain the cause of the afflicted, (Ps. 140:12).  By His grace I am walking IN CHRIST.  In His patience and timing and through perhaps many more purgings, I will, by His grace alone eventually hold my peace and not let it go, (Eph. 2:4-10).  He chose me.  He has long patience with me.  Knowing this, then, if He has long patience with me, why should I not be patient with His work in me and be patient with myself?

  By this time The Holy Spirit of God had brought me back to remember the place where ‘self’ arose and did ‘take over’.  I was being persecuted by the words of the enemy of the cross as a brother was falsely condemning me, and I ‘blew it’.  The pride of ‘self’ had to have the last word because I was in the right!  But right as I may have been, I was on THE PATH OF JUDGMENT while speaking full of pride to exalt ‘self’.  That was a heinous crime.  To speak the truth of God’s Word to prove our right is devilish.  It is not in the Spirit of Christ.  It is completely out of the character of God and it stinks.  It is filthy rags.  MERCIFUL GOD, I need to be purged.  I desperately need Your purging from ‘self’!  I am on the path of judgment.  I praise You for Your path of judgment!
On occasions, while false accusations were railed against Him, Jesus held His peace.  He did not defend His innocence nor did He always speak to defend truth.  Though He was innocent and IS THE TRUTH, He only spoke what His Father told Him to speak and therefore, it was always from the heart of God and to the Glory of God!  Praise God for the day we will be continually walking in the PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS FOR HIS NAME SAKE even as Jesus walked.

“God, my Father, I repent of this hideous crime of ‘self’ – ‘self righteousness’.  It IS AS FILTHY RAGS.  Forgive me, Father.”   He reminds me by His blessed Holy Spirit that He will forgive me my trespasses as I forgive them that trespass against me.  I immediately see my brother’s sins are no greater than mine so I sincerely and readily forgive my brother who had falsely accused me.   THE PEACE OF GOD is abounding in me again, not by ANYTHING I have done to bring it about, but BY THE GRACE OF GOD I am IN PEACEFUL COMMUNION IN GOD WITH CHRIST again, walking IN THE WAY of light, free of sin.  All is at rest and peace is everywhere; everything is beautiful, praising our Lord and rejoicing IN HIM.  He is magnificently manifested in my being, and everywhere.  Until the next valley He takes me into for the death of ‘self’; to know He alone is God; and to learn, again, to trust Him that if my heart condemn me, God is greater than my heart!  I know that every time I fall, He is there to help me stand.  Thank God! I know His mercy.  When l cry out again in desperation, with a contrite heart, making my request known unto Him WITH THANKSGIVING, the PEACE of God will again flood my soul and keep my mind stayed on Jesus.  I marvel at the wonders of the Holy Spirit’s work in us.

I know when I fall again, I will still be walking in GOD’S WAY, by THE PATH OF JUDGMENT that will eventually lead me on to a higher revelation of HIS PATH OF GRACE.  The Spirit of God, dwelling within will lovingly and faithfully continue, as long as necessary, to “PURGE (my) CONSCIENCE from dead works to serve the LIVING GOD,” (Hebrews 9:14).  Jesus will lift me up again and again, as often as need be.  And by His grace I will eventually discern ‘self’ when it arises with the intention to rule in the place of GOD our Creator, especially when ‘self’ arises to try to defend ‘itself’.  If I remain silent by the grace of God and hold my PEACE (by the power of Christ’s victory IN me), His peace will be my victory.  And I will eventually be able, by the Grace of God, to say from experience that ‘self’ is “Crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me,” (Gal. 2:20-21).  His word tells me He is able to keep us from falling.  I believe His word and I know He will bring us all to this place.  Some day soon I will be LIKE HIM.  I will be resting IN HIM, IN HIS REST, (Hebrews chapter 4).  When HE IS FINALLY AT COMPLETE REST IN ME, He will find in His a place where He can lay and rest His head (Matthew 8:20).  His work will be completed in me and I will be COMPLETE IN HIM – actually made IN HIS IMAGE.  The transformation will have taken place as He promised and I will be IN HIS IMAGE, throughout the ages to come. Praise His Holy Name!

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.  He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.  Yey, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
 

Father, my Good Shepherd; I shall not want.  In Christ I am In You.  In You I possess all.  You make me to lie down in green pastures and You lead me beside the still waters.  You restore my soul:  You lead me in the PATHS OF RIGHTEOUSNESS FOR YOUR HOLY NAME’S SAKE.  Yes, when I need to walk through the valley of the shadow of death (on YOUR PATH OF JUDGMENT - for the crucifixion and death of ‘self’), I will fear no evil: for THOU ART WITH ME; Thy rod and Thy staff THEY COMFORT ME.  Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: What a glorious table that is spread before me; Yes, in the presence of my enemies I feast with You, sup with You, commune with You in ecstasy – in GLORY! Thou anointest my head with oil; Your anointing is like the dew of mount Herman, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion; that comes down upon me and covers me and fills this vessel, this: Your dwelling place, with the glory of your presence; my cup runneth over…it runneth and runneth and runneth over and over and over.  Surely, surely, – verily, verily, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord continuously, forever.  David saw it and, praise the Lord, I see it.

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!
It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.
 

It is my intention to share the truth of God’s dealings in my life openly with others in the body of Christ, with the hope they might receive comfort and encouragement along THE WAY in their quest TO KNOW HIM and the power of His resurrection.  And above all, that I may exalt our Heavenly Father for His wonderful ways revealed to us by His Spirit as we receive His Word with joy and peace.  I know how much comfort I receive from God through our brother in Christ, Ray Prinzing.  And again I desire to share a portion of his book WHISPERS OF COMFORT beginning with a word from his preface and going on to page 126 through 130:

QUOTE: “It is our prayer that the truths expressed in this book shall bring encouragement and comfort to those who now seek Him.  And with love we dedicate these pages to those who are open and ready to receive of His comforts.  May His Word refresh and uplift, and give renewed courage to follow on into His fullness.  May His will be brought to perfection in each of us, and together we shall rejoice in HIS COMFORTS.”

“How often have we been prejudiced against ourselves, believing that we are unworthy or disqualified.  We lightly esteem ourselves.  “I just can’t do it as good as he, or she can.  It’s just not in me.  Sorry.”  And so we put ourselves down.  All of our knowing is against ourselves.  Ah, when are we going to have a KNOWING – FOR ourselves?  Self-condemnation is a self-knowing-against.  And most of those thoughts are whispered into our minds by the ”accuser of the brethren”.   But there is One who is well able to handle this accuser.

We might know ourselves some, if we will admit to our weaknesses, our lacks, our inabilities – and use this knowledge to condemn ourselves.  But God is great than all of this limited knowledge of self, for He knows all things.  “He knoweth our frame; He remembereth that we are dust,” (Psalm 103:14).  He knows that left to our own devices we will stumble and fall, but that is why HE COMES TO DWELL WITHIN US, to be our LIFE – a life against which there is no condemnation.

Because we do not yet fully know who we are ‘IN HIM’, and what this new nature is capable of, much of our testing and trial is also used to reveal us to ourselves.  We face a dire situation, and knowing our weaknesses, we condemn ourselves immediately to failure.  But God knows the power of HIS LIFE in us, and He knows that this life can come through – and so He subjects us to this testing, “That the trial of your faith (His faith in us), - might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ,” (I Peter 1:7).

Well I remember in one of the darkest hours of my life, when all was bleak and black, no prayer could be uttered, save, ‘O God’.  All of the many comforts that people offered seemed so empty and trite.  Then one day God caused a dear friend to simply state, “God knew that you could go through this, else He would not have subjected you to it”.  And suddenly, a faint hope began to glimmer within.  IF GOD KNOWS THAT I CAN MAKE IT, His knowledge is greater then mine, and I shall simply trust in His.  And through it we came!  Truly HE is the God of all comfort, and knows exactly when to speak just that ‘word’ which strengthens and sustains.

How we need to have our self-negative-knowledge replaced with HIS KNOWING of us.  He says, “I know you,” and furthermore, “My grace is sufficient for you: for My strength is made perfect in weakness,” (II Corinthians 12:9.  He knows the pressures which worked against us, for He arranged for all those pressures.  When we come to see GOD in it all, His hand, His plan, etc. we will no longer condemn ourselves, but place our confidence in Him to work in us all that is necessary to bring us into His fullness.

Another day I was driving along, feeling very self-condemned because of a lack of love – unable to love like I knew I ought to, and HE began to speak within.  “Now remember, it is God which works within both to will and to do.  Why are you demanding perfection in an area where God has only thus far worked in part?”  HE KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE He had placed within me, and so He knew how much I could express – certainly no more than what I had received.  And suddenly I realized that MY LACKS were in His hand, not mine.  And it dissipated that whole area of condemnation.  When He has fully worked His perfections within, we shall manifest perfections.  But as long as we possess only the ‘in part’, we can only live out the ‘in part’.  Since we are not satisfied with this in part, however, “Let us go on to perfection – And this we will do, if God permit,” (Hebrews 6:1,3).

“Hast thou faith? Have it to thyself before God.  Happy is the man that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth!  And he that doubteth is damned (condemned, or judged down) if he eat, because not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin,” (Romans 14:22-23).  When you believe that you are defiled and disqualified, it leaves you feeling condemned.

Paul knew that his walk was not in “meat and drink,” and being free from that tradition and bondage, he did not feel condemned over what he ate and drank.  But he also knew that if you were still bound by those traditions, you had better obey them, or else you would stand condemned by them.  Man-made as the standard might be, here are those who believe that Sunday must be kept as their holy day of rest, and for them to do otherwise leaves them feeling condemned.  And when they add to that law the idea that they also must ‘be in church’ on that day, and they miss that service, then they feel doubly condemned.
Jesus said, “If ye continue in My Word, then are ye My disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free,” (John 8:31-32).  Praise God, His inworking truth will free us from all man-made tradition and miss-application of the Word.  This is not a freedom for the lusts of the flesh to be exploited.  But a freedom from the bondages of man which have brought us innumerable condemnations.  Truly, “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed,” (John 8:36).

Yet Paul also gives careful instruction, “Hast thou faith? Have it to thyself before God,” Conybeare translation is beautiful: ‘KEEP IT FOR THINE OWN COMFORT BEFORE GOD”.  This is a ‘before God’ relationship and principle.  When HE implants of His faith – when we come to know His truth – it brings us into new life and freedom, and ends the route of condemnation.  But this is not to be put on display to tantalize and torment others.  It is our own walk BEFORE GOD.  And then, “Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, we have confidence toward God,” (I John 3:21).  We KNOW we are clean before Him, and we have confidence toward Him.  It is a BEFORE GOD WALK that brings tremendous comfort to us

So much self-condemnation comes from comparing ourselves with others.  “But they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise,” II Corinthians 10:12).  We are God’s original handiwork, and we feel like a misfit only if we try to be like some other man, or woman.  To be conformed to His image is our only goal.  You are not a misfit when you are HIS HANDIWORK, becoming what HE has ordained for you to become.  How we need to see and believe who and what we are IN CHRIST, before God, and refuse to be judged and condemned by someone else’s standard or portrayed image. “Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? To his own master he standeth or falleth.  Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand,” (Romans 14:4).

How marvelous is the inworking of the Spirit of God, dwelling within, as He will “PURGE YOUR CONSCIENCE from dead works to serve the LIVING GOD,” Hebrews 9:14), that we might “go, and sin no more,” but rather, progress onward toward perfection.  And as we go, we shall truly find that IN HIM there is no more condemnation! Amen!

There will be more writings available to you by Ray Prinzing from His Devotional Book DAILY OVERCOMING.  The book is out of print but we have one that is falling apart.   I have been asked to share these devotionals on my web sight and Ray has given me permission to use it in this way.  Ray says “The Word – GOD’S WORD is free!”  So by Ray’s permission you may further read of the wonderful grace of God on Nov. 25th & 26th. You will find these pages , and more, it on my web sight under DAILY OVERCOMING by Ray Prinzing.

I know you will find great comfort from the pages of Rays book by prayerfully seeking the KINGDOM OF GOD AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS WITH ALL OF YOUR HEART.  THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS TRULY WITHIN YOU WHERE JESUS SAID YOU WOULD FIND IT. And to know HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS means to KNOW HIS HEART, to have a HEART AFTER GOD, knowing HIS WILL and WALKING IN HIS WILL as HE REVEALS it to you by HIS HOLY SPIRIT who will LEAD YOU INTO ALL TRUTH.

Paul, called to be an apostle of Jesus Christ through the will of God, and Sosthenes our brother, Unto the church of God (in this day), to them that are sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints, with all that in every place call upon the namer of Jesus Christ our Lord, both theirs and ours: Grace be unto you, and peace from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.  I thank my God always on your behalf, for the grace of God which is given you by Jesus Christ; That in every thing ye are enriched by Him, in all utterance, and in all knowledge; Even as the testimony of Christ was confirmed in you:
So that you come behind in no gift; waiting for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall also confirm you unto the end, that you may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.  God is faithful, by whom you were called unto the fellowship of His Son Jesus Christ our Lord.

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