Title: TELL ME TRUTH
Author: LK
Band: LUNA SEA
Pairing: JxS




---TELL ME TRUTH---



After finishing his part of recording, Sugizo started to pack his stuff 
while whistling.  He looks like very eager to leave the area.



"Where are you going, Sugi-chan?  Meeting J?"  Ryu used his sweetest 
voice to ask.



"Am…I am still thinking."



"Mind to give me a ride?  As my car is in the garage."



"But I have to pick J up by the way home, he should be still at the 
bar."



Ryuichi has already put up his puppy eyes and managed to plead with his 
sweet, transparent voice.  "Sugi-chan, you are not asking me to take 
the public conveyances and being killed by those fan girls' gaze."  
Ryu's expression then changed into a very pity one and blinked his 
sparkling eyes.  "Then my death will soon be publicized.  Thousands of 
girls will cry as they hear the news, some may even commit suicide.  
The lost of the youth will affect the economic condition of Japan, 
resulted as economic crisis.  The financial status of Asia country will 
be encumbered initiating the break down of…"



Ryu's absurd theory was killed down as Sugizo put up his hands and 
promised to drive him home.





After Ryu took off the car, Sugizo started the engine and drove off as 
fast as he could to the bar where he thought he could find J.  He was a 
little late as Ryu's Mansion was just located in the opposite direction 
of that bar.



Sugizo was delighted even when just a tiny thought of his lover fly 
across his brain. It has had already two months, Sugizo told himself 
happily.  He still couldn't forget how excited he was when J first 
agreed to go out for a date with him.



Not long afterwards, they developed into lovers quickly.  Everything 
came naturally; the feeling was just amazing and appeared as fish in 
water.



Sugizo turned the wheel driving into another busy street, continue with 
his thought.



At first, he didn't realize that he falls for J, soon he found himself 
simply couldn't take his eyes off the guy and got to know that he was 
caught.



Once, he was the kind who played around with all sort of people, male, 
female, homosexual…etc.  However, right from the moment, he admitted 
that he has that feeling towards the blonde, all he could see is that 
guy, and nothing more could ever entered his sight.



Just the moment he knew that his love is returned, his heart was 
overwhelmed with happiness.  He even wants to twist his flesh to ensure 
that he wasn't in another fantastic dream.  Even that's the case; he 
would rather keep his eyes shut for the rest of his life.





J was looking at his wristwatch for the nth time in the night.



"Why are you keep looking at the time?"  One of his friends asked.



"…"



Not waiting for the reply, Franz spoke up again.  "Ah…waiting for your 
darling?"



"Yes, how do you know?"  J roughly answered flippantly.



"Really?"  Franz was astounded.  "Who is it?  Do I know her?  She is 
coming now, right?"



J looked at the time again and gulped a mouthful of beer before he 
answered.  "I think he is not coming, it has been so late already."



"What?  A he?"  Franz asked with his mouth wide-opened as an O.



"Yes, does it matter you?"  J watched his friend's facial expression.  
"You should close your mouth a little bit, a fly is going to get in."



"Oh…" Franz covered his mouth with his hands quickly.



"Who is it?  Do I happen to know this special guy?  Who is that special 
to catch your heart."



J sighed and gave out great news.  "It's no one but Sugizo."



"What!?"  Once again, Franz screamed on the top of his lung.



J covered his ears, a deep frown shown between bows.  "What's now?"



Franz couldn't found his voice.  He finally choked out, "You and 
Sugizo?  Lovers?"



"What's the matter with it?"  J lighted a cigarette.



"That playboy."  Franz hardly put his words into sentence.  "That 
playboy will never be serious with love."



"So what?"  J became impatient of his friend's exaggerated reaction.



"So what?"  Franz repeated his question, "He flirts with every guy he 
ever met, I wonder if he really know what's the meaning of love or how 
to love a person, or simply he loves everyone on earth."



"Franz, everything worth a try."



"But Sugizo doesn't deserve one.  Do you think a guy will change after 
just one day?  Maybe he is in another man's arms now already."  Franz 
sighed.  "No kidding.  He will never be true to you."



J has never thought his friend would oppose his relationship with 
anyone by giving such a comment.



"Am I saying that I will be serious?  Franz, you are overreacting. It's 
not as what you see."  J wanted to quit the topic quickly.



Franz was stunned for a moment and digested the message finally.



"You mean you are not serious either?"



"Definitely!"  He replied as to end the conversation.



"You are playing only?"  Franz being over protecting asked for 
assurance.



J rolled his eyes, asking why was his friend behaving as his mother 
tonight.



"Of course, what's the point of loving that guy."  J said, thinking it 
should be enough to clear his friend's doubt.



And it did work, Franz totally bought it and raised his mug for a 
cheers.



And it worked on the guy who has stood outside the door all along too…





J was being fidgety; he was wandering inside the department, which he 
and Sugizo have been living during the last whole month.



Sugizo has not yet come back.



It has been the third night already, since last recording section.



Usually, J would go drinking and bullshitting in the bar with his 
friends after his part of recording and since they have been together, 
he will wait until Sugizo's part finished and came picking him up.



But last time, Sugizo didn't show up.  J went home thinking if Sugizo 
was back first.  However, he was greeted by darkness in the empty 
place.



He called Sugizo's cell, the answer was the other was still in the 
studio finishing his job.  J decided to stay up and wait for him, but 
couldn't resist the urge to sleep, he went to bed at 4 a.m.



The very next day morning, he woke up finding Sugizo sleeping on the 
couch with his pants and sweater.  So sexy that he moved near and 
touched the tired face caringly.  Though the contacts were light, the 
sleeping beauty opened his eyes as if disturbed.



Sugizo promptly shifted his body to break the contact.  "Morning."



"Morning.  When did you come back last night…or this morning?  Why 
didn't you come on the bed?"  J asked.

"I didn't want to wake you up."



"Oh…it's okay.  What was it so important making you stay behind for so 
long?  Did you finish them?"  J circled the swollen area around those 
puffy eyes.  "Look.  It's not good to sleep that little, it spoiled 
your beauty."



In the past, Sugizo would always be irritated by J's teasing of his 
beauty.  But instead of getting angry, Sugizo just shoved J's fingers 
away, and got himself off the sofa.



He walked towards the washroom turning suddenly and said.  "I am going 
to the studio today and may stayed late also, no need to wait for me."



"What?  Again?  What takes you so long to work on?"



And that night, Sugizo hasn't returned from the studio.



The following day, J could barely meet him when the red head came home 
for a change of clothes, and the man left immediately without spare a 
minute to look at him.



J called Sugizo's mobile a few times, but there's no one to answer the 
phone.  J couldn't wait any longer.  Finally, he placed his wallet into 
the back pocket of his jeans, picked his car-key and clicked the door 
shut.





His eyes were out of focus.



Sugizo was sitting causally in front of the apparatus board doing 
nothing.



No one could tell how long have he been spreading over the chair with 
hat dumbstruck look on his face.



His fingers were playing with his lighter; cigarettes were the only 
things he had during the last few days.

The studio was filled with smoke blocking the vision.



His throat was dry, his eyes were dry also.  Stains of tear were dried 
due to the air-conditioning.



Sugizo suddenly laughed as one crazed while moisture started to gather 
up in the rims of eye.



How ridiculous?  He, Sugihara Yuu, staring in this fucking dull place 
instead of thousands of bars, pubs or cafe whatsoever…



Why am I here?  Why don't I go to one of the bars to play, as there's 
no tomorrow?  I am such a cheap whore; it's not my nature to just sit 
here thinking of him!



Now, I accidentally get to know the fact that, J was not serious in 
this affair.  He takes me as some playing chick.



I knew it, I know it.  But what am I going to do?  What can I do 
actually?  I don't want to leave him.  I was fallen so deep already; I 
couldn't let go of the relationship, this precious relationship.



The cruel fact is, he couldn't stand facing J either.  He couldn't 
pretend he know nothing about his attitude.  Every time, he looked into 
his face, he felt that he is going to break down at any time.



Therefore, the only way he could think of is to escape, to hide.  And 
that's the reason he ended up staying in the studio all night.  He'd 
like to be in some quiet place, he needed the silent, breaking him from 
troublesome.



But he knew that he couldn't hide forever…



###



J was confused when he reached the outside of the studio.



He could absorb the whole view of the sexy man sitting inside trough 
the window, but he was doing nothing other then staring into space.



J tucked his cell-phone out and dialed his lover's number.



The machine lying on the light board started to ring after a few 
seconds.



However, it was totally ignored.  Sugizo simply took a look on the 
screen and sat back into his place.



J knew that it's the time to test his patient.



He left the phone to ring forever, for some reason; he believed Sugizo 
wouldn't reject the call shutting the phone off.




Finally, couldn't bear the stubbornness of the caller, Sugizo reached 
for the source of the disturbing sound, when it was already 20 minutes 
later.



"moshi moshi."  An empty voice rose.



"Sugi.  Why are you answering so slow?"



"The phone was not with me, I happened to know it was ringing just 
now."  A chain of lies came out smoothly.



"What are you doing?"



"Testing a few new effects that maybe suit our next song style."  
Sugizo spoke as usual but J knew every word coming out is faked.



"So, any discovery?"



"Not yet."



"Need my help?"  J offered.



"No, no.  It's okay.  I will solve everything out."  He quickly 
refused.  Stop kidding, J was probably the last one in the world that 
he could able to face now.



J took a deep breath blinking his little eyes.  "But you could never 
solve things out, if you just continue sitting here doing nothing."



Sugizo promptly turned and saw J standing opposite to the window.



J discarded his mobile and stepped inside the smaller space.



Sugizo felt like a primary student caught doing naughty thing 
wretchedly.



"J.  How long have you been outside?"  Sugizo hardly threw a question.



"Long enough to see you staring at the ringing phone without taking any 
action."  Sugizo bit his lips at the answer.  "Say!  Why you didn't 
answer the call.  Why would you rather stay here doing nothing but come 
home?"



"I…" HE racked his brain out for an excuse.  Finding none, he parted 
his lips and said nothing.



The image in front of J was enough to tear his heart into two parts.



The tear stained face, those rabbit-redden eyes and the hollow 
expression, the sorrow…



The only thing J wanna do now, is to weep those weariness and 
helplessness off his beloved's face.



He desperately wanted to know what's bothering the red head, but he 
thought maybe it's not the right time to pull it so far.  He could see 
that Sugizo wasn't able to talk about it and decided to drop the topic 
for the time being.



"I am just feeling hungry, why don't we go for our late supper?  I know 
there's a fine restaurant nearby."  J suggested.



"I…" Sugizo, found no ways to refuse, agreed with a nod.



J took Sugizo' hand and headed outside immediately.



The warmth sent from J's huge palm making Sugizo felt familiar and 
distant as well.  On the other side, J felt relieved to finally have 
Sugizo's slimmed little (comparing with J's) hand in his.





After having their late supper, they were now walking hand in hand 
again in the cold breeze.



Sugizo, being in his clothes made of thin material, couldn't help 
shivering every a few minutes.



J seeing this, placed one of his arms around Sugizo's shoulder, pulling 
him closer into an embrace.  



However, Sugizo wasn't co-operating as always.



Though he hasn't pushed the heavily built man away.  But during the 
five-minute walk, he bent to fix his boots for at least five times, and 
now was booming in front of the shop-window for the 8th time.



J merely took his coat off and wrapped it over Sugizo.  "Put it on."



Sugizo was stunned, J had never been this gentle before, during the 
supper hours, J showed extra care for him as if he was a glass doll, 
willing to shutter into pieces at any time, he found himself dislike it 
a lot and ready to take the jacket off.



"I told you to put it on."  J said rudely and grabbed the garment from 
Sugizo helping him into the outfit.



Sugizo was annoyed by J's ordering tone and struggled free from J's 
hold.



They kept glared at each other's eyes for few seconds.



"I don't know what's going on with you!  If you really that hate my 
touch, okay!  That's fine!  But keep that cloth on, for yourself as for 
your health."



Sugizo directed his focus to the concrete road, still having his chin 
tightened.  The wind was still blowing; he could smell the odor of J 
through his jacket, the warmth.  Everything's so perfect, the one he 
loves was standing in front of him, caring about him, but he couldn't 
feel the tiniest bit of heart in it.  As J was treating it as an easy 
relationship, he really shouldn't be giving him so much hope.  He 
dreamed that maybe J really cares, really concern about him…but it's 
the time to stop, he should come back to reality.



"Stop faking."  Sugizo said calmly.



"What…?"



"Just stop faking."  Sugizo repeated.  "Don't pretend that you care so 
much about me while you feel nothing to me.  It's cruel.  It will kill 
me alive."



"What are you talking, Sugi?"  J was surprised at the sudden outburst 
of emotion.  "I surely love you."



Sugizo shook his brain tiredly.  "Don't tell lie."



"There's no lie, that's the truth!"



"But what's the point of loving a guy like me, a guy flirts with 
everybody who has ever met, a guy doesn't even know what's love, a guy 
will never be serious to you...Humph!"  J's mouth came down hard on 
his, silencing him. 



He struggled, trying to turn his head away, but strong hands had cupped 
his face, holding him still as J's lips ravaged his own.  He pried 
ineffectively at J's arms, to no avail.  The bassist's grip was like 
steel, trapping him.



Then all in a sudden, the kiss gentled.



And after ages, they parted unwillingly.  Sugizo leaned against J's 
well-built figure hearing every single pump of his heart.



"Sugi.  I'm going to say it one more time."  J whispered something 
right into Sugizo's ear after making the announcement.  "You shouldn't 
have doubted that?  And this is the only thing you need to know."  J 
added, as he knew that hearing that would not satisfy Sugi.



Sugizo merely pouted drawing his bows deeply together but those pouting 
lips soon shaped into a sweet smile.







"Franz!"  J positioned himself onto the stool next to his friend's.



They downed a couple of drinks and started chatting randomly.


"He is coming."  J suddenly threw out the sentence and waved towards 
the entrance.



Sugizo slowly approached the pair and sat near J.



"Sugizo.  Franz.  I think you have known each other already."  J said 
formally.



"Hello, nice to meet you."  Sugizo held up his hand to greet.



"Yes, me too."  Franz replied, but his face didn't show the same feeling.



Sugizo's hand was stunned in the air, he felt quite uneasy.


J took his hand and gave an assuring smile knowingly.  "It's okay."



Afterwards, J spoke many things to cheer the atmosphere up, but 
couldn't get any reward.



"J, remember what you said last time?"  Franz asked.



"We have said many things, you know."



"You said you are not serious towards this guy."  Franz pointed his 
forefinger right into Sugizo's face.



J could almost miss a tiny shock sent from the bony hand in his.  He 
gripped on the hand tightly.



"Franz, you are being inappropriate."  J used his another hand to grab 
the finger and censured.



"J.  Don't you understand?  He is just playing his trick on you, you 
really believe that he will still be interested in you after five years 
or ten years?"



"Franz…"



"No one could tell whatever will happen after five or even one year.  
But the only thing I know is, I love J right now, serious and true."  
Sugizo stopped and looked at J, but quickly turned bashfully.



Franz, seeing this, stood and ready to left giving up his protest.  "Do 
whatever you like."



"He…" Sugizo was confused.



"It's okay.  You see."  Sugizo's eyes followed J's pointing-finger to 
the direction of Franz



Franz turned in the midway and raised his bottle.  "God bless you!!"



"Welcome!!"  J spoke in return.



Franz merely nodded thinking maybe he was just having prejudice against 
Sugizo.  He should trust J's ability in judging.  They have been 
colleague, band mate or friends since ages; J should have known him 
long enough to understand his behaviors.  And hearing Sugizo's 
confession made him somehow believe that they love each other, it just 
like he's really overprotecting over J.



J and Sugizo both came back to their drinks.



"What did you say just now?"



"What did I say?"  Sugizo blinked his innocent eyes cutely.



"You said…



"Shu…" They were both silenced with a kiss.



---END---



18 Aug 2001