Joshua's Page

In Loving Memory of
Joshua Lynn Wade
May 24, 1981 - March 6, 1995

Joshua Lynn Wade, my oldest son, was born May 24, 1981 and died March 6, 1995
in a horse riding accident, he was 13 at the time of his death.

OUR COWBOY JOSHUA

Our most precious Joshua
The cowboy of our hearts
No longer with us today
For death has taken you away

Joshua you came riding into our hearts
On the twenty fourth of May, nineteen eighty-one
We were so proud of our little boy
Who one day would become a cowboy

In your growing years your interest in horses grew
Whether if in rodeo's or horseman shows
You felt you had to be part of it all
Our cowboy was standing tall

Then one day doing what you loved best
Death came and took you away
Our cowboy had taken his last cowboy ride
On the sixth of March nineteen ninety-five

Written for Joshua By Doyle Alldredge 3/11/2006

These are two beautiful and loving gifts for Angel Joshua from my dear friend, Carol, mom to Angel Michael.

I have many pictures of Jessie and Jamie, but of Joshua I don't have as many since we had a total loss house fire on Nov. 5, 1991. Joshua was 10 then, I have a few when he was small, and the rest will be 10 through 13, but I will scan what I have
and want to share.

This is Joshua holding Jamie in 1990, this was our first house, it burned to the ground on Nov. 5, 1991. The few pictures we have left were copies received from family members after the fire. Joshua loved to play with Jessie and Jamie. He could spend hours with them,
he loved little ones so much.

Joshua was very special, he was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. It is a congenital birth defect. Joshua had many, many surgeries to repair this from the time he was 4 months old until shortly before his death. He had come so far and we were so proud of how well he dealt with it. Joshua never used this as a crutch, he never felt sorry for himself. He was really comfortable with who he was and how he looked. Joshua was a big child, he was already 5' 8" tall and growing fast, he had grown about 5 inches from the time he started the seventh grade until his death in March. He was in the band, he played football, and baseball.

This is one of the many sports teams Joshua played on, he also played football.
He loved the outdoors.

Joshua loved to fish, ride his go cart, reading and hunting (I suspect he just went to the woods and watched for animals, he never killed anything, and was never disappointed that he hadn't, I really think he was to tenderhearted to kill them, he just want to be in the woods where he loved to play) but his true love, I suppose his passion was Horse Riding, he had been riding for years. It was his habit to come in drop off his book bag and go ride. His horses were "My Girl" and "Bayjet". He was riding Bayjet that fateful day. And as usual, he was riding her like the wind, you see, Joshua only had two speeds, wide open or still.

This is Joshua dressed to the nines in cowboy gear. This photo was taken in October of 1994, he was 13. He really is happy, just trying to look very serious. I love this picture. It is one of the pictures I keep in my wallet. Joshua was so happy when he was riding his horses,
and he was so good at it.

Joshua loved school and he did very well. He was on the honor roll more than not. He loved to talk, and talk he did. I remember in 1994, one of his surgeries was focusing on giving him more fullness in his upper lip, so Dr. Z removed some tissue from his lower lip, flipped it and sewed it to his upper lip, then sewed them shut, save a small opening, just for emergencies. Whew, that was something. Then they sent us home. THE SAME DAY. This was considered an outpatient procedure. Talk about scared, me not him. We had round the clock vigils, watching Joshua to make sure he was breathing ok, and not getting nauseated. But in true Joshua fashion, he did wonderfully. None of us thought he would be able to eat much for the two weeks he had to keep the stitches in, but let me tell you. We went through two blenders and many 60cc syringes during that time. Joshua would eat it as fast
as we could blend it. He was absolutely amazing, and he never stopped talking.

Joshua and Mom after surgery.

Joshua had another quality that always amazed me. He was so adaptable, he could enjoy playing with a 20 year old or a two year old, it didn't matter, and he had fun, none of this patronizing play, true fun. When Jessie came along Joshua was 7,
and 8 when we had Jamie. He did love them so very much, as they did him.

It used to make me so sad to think that Jessie and Jamie may eventually loose all memory of Joshua. But they were so young, and well, with the house fire as their first real trauma, then Joshua's death. Eventually they did forget... Life went on, and on Mar. 14, 1996 my husband's Mother and great-niece were killed in a car accident. That was just after the first anniversary of Joshua's death.

We were all reeling, kinda waiting on the other shoe to fall, and fall it did. Then in Feb. of 1997, Heather, the children's summer time babysitter, along with two of her friends were killed in a car accident, could it possibly get any worse. I prayed not. Then as fate would have it, we had a very calm spell, you know, that calm that happens just before the storm. Times were good, no unexpected tragedies, all seemed well. Life at some point came back around to some semblance of normal, our new normal, Life without Joshua. His name was seldom ever spoken by anyone but me. Everyone seemed to tiptoe around the subject. "If we don't mention Joshua, Momma won't cry" that sort of thing. So I went to therapy, relived my private hell and tried to put on a happy face for everyone else. Little did I know that the bottom would soon fall out and life as I knew it would cease to exist.
I would never experience that "normal feeling" again.

Always There
Although I am in Heaven...
Remember that for every smile that you make,
I will be smiling with you.
For every tear that you cry,
I will be crying with you.
For every dream you have to reach,
I will be there...to reach it with you.
~Unknown Author~

LIGHT A CANDLE

And I will light a candle for you
to shadow all the darkness and bless the times we knew
Like a beacon in the night the flame will burn bright
and guide us on our way
Oh today I light a candle for you.

Seasons come and go and I'm weary from the change
Keep on moving on -- you know it's not the same
And when I'm walking all alone
Do you hear me call your name?
Do you hear me sing the songs we used to sing?

And I will light a candle for you...

You filled my life with wonder -- touched me with surprise
Always saw that something special deep within your eyes
And through the good times and the bad
We carried on with pride
I hold on to the love and life we knew

And I will light a candle for you...
Oh today I light a candle for you.

The Cowboy prayer

Our Heavenly Father, we pause at this time,
mindful of the many blessings you have bestowed upon us.
We ask, Lord, that you will be with us in the arena of life.
We as cowboys do not ask for special favors.
We don't ask to draw around the chute fighting horse,
the steer that won't lay, or to never break the barrier.
We don't even ask for all daylight runs.
We do ask Lord, that you will help us live our lives
here on earth as cowboys, in such a manner,
that when we make that last inevitable ride,
to the country up there, where the grass grows lush,
green, and stirrup high, and the water runs cool,
clear, and deep, that you'll take us by the hand and say -
"Welcome to Heaven cowboy, your entry fees are paid."

In Loving Memory of Joshua
A very special angel
Love
Ann, Laurasmom

For a Mother of great courage,
My Heart is so touched that I don't even have any words to say
but I want you to know that your losses have broken my heart. May God be with you
and carry you through to the end.
I keep you in my heart and prayers
With Love in memory of your beautiful child
Ann, Laurasmom

My Best Wishes On Your 28th Birthday
Angel Joshua

Dear Joshua

Horse back riding, when my daughter use to go, it was fun to watch her, but dare one of those horses come close to me, I would run and hide,
what a chicken I was. But not you, after dealing with what you had to deal with, yet still enjoy your life. Fishing, hunting, sports,
being in a band, a big brother to the little ones. But mostly Joshua, you never held anything back, you seemed proud of yourself in everything
you achieved, and so you should. I know I am, and I have just read about you. I can imagine how your Mom and Family feels

REST IN PEACE PROUD MAN
Sue-Anne~~~Lee'sMom

Dearest Beverly

Your Joshua hasn't left you
He is just away for a while
With a wave of his hand
And that great big smile
He is riding through the clouds
Way way up above
Looking through that star
That is his
Sending down all his love

MY DEEPEST LOVE
Sue-Anne~~~Lee'sMom