J-Dub's Tbolt reviews!!!!! | |||||
I want to stop before the reviews to say HI and welcome to J-Dub, this sites new issue reviewer. I will still do my issue review with pics, but J-Dub did some issue reviews on the Heroes for Hire Message Board and they were awesome! I half jokingly said, "Hey why don't you do some Tbolt reviews...AND HE DID!! I am VERY pleased to have his permission to post these on the site here. He is a very creative reviewer,I know you will find these reviews entertaining! Tbolt issue 5 review Starting us out is Thunderbolts # 5, the earliest Tbolt issue in my collection. Well, it's always fun to start in the middle of a story arc, instead of at the beginning. I discovered that, with Tbolts, I can come in anywhere I want too and not be totally confused. Yes, I know I probably miss out on a lot of subtilties, but that doesn?t bother me too much, as long as I can understand the general plot. Speaking of which. . . Our issue starts with a view of a dark and shady room in Hong Kong, high above the teeming streets. We see what are (presumably) several crime lords, studying the latest Crime Lords Illustrated. This month: Ten easy ways to start your own cartel!? Actually, they are studying images of our fave superheroes, the Thunderbolts! Some shadowy figure is pacing about, jabbering about how these new superheroes must be destroyed. To that end, this shadowy figure decides to release the dreaded (children flee in terror) X-F3 (gasp!), figuring that it can destroy the Tbolts. Speaking of which. . . We now see our fave superheroes (henceforth shortened to OFSH, ?kay?) in civvies, obviously planning a day out on the town. P.N.Ebersol immediately heads off down some alley, and I presume we?ll be seeing more of him later. Erik, wearing a sweatshirt with the words ?Big Dawg? (more kids fleeing in terror) goes of to meet little his regular Saturday- night-thang Dallas Riordan. (I guess bad fashion sense must be a general villain thing. Sweat shirt and pants? On a date??? Whatever.) (Moonstonelover interjects:Hey it worked for me, I am now engaged to the girl i did that for :) ) Abe and Melissa head off to do touristy things, like see Lovely Lady Liberty, and stuff like that. (as if they?ll actually ever tear their eyes off each other. Ahh. Young love.) (Moonstonelover again:Young love ROCKS!!!,even when you are older!!!) And Hallie and Karla wander down the street, chatting merrily, no apparent destination revealed. Karla cozies up to Hallie, and we see a little bit of emotional release, along with electrical release. That?s right, Jolt loses control of her powers in a flash of rage and energy, and fries a poor, non-threatening newspaper box. The populace, instead of becoming a rioting mass of rage filled adults, begins clamoring for an autograph. Moonstone thinks ahead, and covers Hallies exit, so the latter can don costume. Our view switches to Erik, who is getting an eyeful of Dallas, while indulging in a little soul searching and the like. The big fool is about to leave, when Dallas turns her head and flashes a smile that sends poor Erik far beyond the reach of reason. More Moonstone and Jolt, as they pose for pictures, sign autographs, shake hands, kiss babies, and pledge to cut taxes 50 %! Whoops, confused it with the last campaigning rally I went too. Moonstone feels that she is bonding with Jolt. However, the bonding will be cut short, as we see a sinister hand gripping a lever with the words ?I?m locking X-F3, and launching!? We now see what X-F3 is, finally, and discover it to be the Growing Man! (we?re running out of children to flee in terror, so use your imagination) Mach-1 and Songbird (while Abe is regaling Melissa with tales of how he got his hinder whupped all over New York: ?And that building over there--Spiderman kicked my can pretty good. And there, that narrow building--Daredevil clobbered me over there?. Jeez, man, you?re sad) see the fight between Moonstone, Jolt and GM, so they arrive in short order. Mach-1 puts out the call for reinforcements, and now we see where N.P.Ebersol was all along. . . At a poker game! No joke! While his partners are complaining about how the Tbolts are a royal pain in the patootie, he receives Mach-1?s call, and sadly must leave the game. He is followed, however, and it looks like a developing plot-line.(Moonstonelover interjects...as of issue 52 this appearance has yet to be used, but with Fabain you never know, he might just pick it up) And now, to rap up our ?meanwhile? catching up on the civvied Tbolts, we see Big Dawg (snicker) and Dallas, eating lunch. Man, just when you sit down to eat, you start getting phone calls. ?We?d like to sell you something. . . I?d like to know who you?re voting for. . . Some stimuloid is kicking our butts. . .? Geeze. Well, the Dawgster (snort) and Dallas head off to see what?s up. Which brings us back to the Tbolts. . . Poor Songbird suffers a feedback when G.M. destroys one of her sound constructs, and Mach-1 just about loses it. Kinda touching scene. Techno arrives, and he remarkably doesn?t attempt to smack ol? GM?s tail (which evidence leads me to believe is the usual M.O. for the Tbolts), but instead rattles off a few facts about the stimuloid. Atlas is a trues Tbolt, however, so the first thing he does it lay off a haymaker. Then they all yell at him, and he gets hit. A couple times. But where is the Tbolts illustrious leader? Answerer. . . Safely hidden away in FFP, monitoring the situation on the news, and trying to get access to the Avengers files. He?s not able too, though. Meanwhile, Techno has an idea: Make it bigger! Seriously, though, he hasa good reason. He needs to get inside it to shut id down. G.M.?s not quite big enough, though. Atlas needs to get bigger, but he doesn?t want to. Moonstone tells him that if he gets more angry, he won?t have any trouble getting larger. And if he doesn?t get angry, she?ll leak his secret identity. This is the only part of the comic I don?t like too much. If I was in a similar situation, I?d say something like ?Go hump yourself, Moonstone!? Then I?d hauk a Goliath sized lugie down towards Karla. I?m not the kind of guy to take orders from anyone who is threatening me, even if it?s gorgeous Karla. This is probably the reason why I don?t relate with Erik all that much. Oh well. Heroically, Erik lays a big can ?o whup-*** on ?ol GM, and Techno is free to wander about in GM?s insides. Good ?ol Eb doesn't lose any time finding out where that big red button is (you know, the big red button. The one that always works!) and pushes it. GM shrinks, and Techie is caught by Songbird, who has recovered. We now see Baron Zemo (in his Citizen V guise) talking with Dallas. He?s pretty peeved that he didn?t get the Avengers files, but he gets over it. In one of my fave scenes in the book, Zemee then calls up Ol' Strucker (who is the one the sent G.M. out to beat up the Tbolts) and threatens him. I don?t know why I like it so much, I just do. Alright, time for general overview. I liked this issue. I like how Kurt brings out obscure characters and uses them. I liked how the individual Tbolts spent their day off. I liked how Moonstone (yes, even the great and powerful Karla) was the first one to hit G.M. It shows that no one is perfect.(Moonstonelover interjects:Watch it, or your job as a reviewer here may be cut short!!! ;) ) I liked how Moonstone thought of Jolts secret identity. Like I said, I wasn?t all that pleased by Erik letting himself get dominated by Karla, but what can I do about it? I can dwell on the parts of the book I liked, not the ones I didn?t. Pretty much a good read, and a good buy. Tbolt issue 17 review The issue starts out with a battle between a Hulk-bot and the Tbolts, and I?m thankful for the fold-out cover which gives me a recap. Then ?Hulk-bot smash!? and the fight is on. We see the H.B. absorb some sound energy and some kinetic energy. It seems, though, that the outer skin of the H.B. can be damaged, and Mach-1 notices some induction coils. Whatever that means. Mach-1 figures that the H.B. is storing energy for a purpose, but before we can figure out more, guess who arrives. Come on, guess! Nope, not her. Nu-uh, not them, either. Okay, I?ll give you a hint: The Lightning Rods! Woo-hoo! Anyway, Mach-1 tries to talk to them, but it?s a no-go. I learn that one of the L.R.?s were left naked at the end of their last battle. Which one was it? I?m trying to find that issue.(Moonstonelover interjects:a bunch of them were left in their B-day suits in issue 16!) On with the review The H.B. seizes this moment of distraction to grab Moonstone and suck all the energy out of her he can. Suddenly in his place is Graviton! Oh no! We then see Zemo and Techno gloating from some castle in Mexico (a castle in Mexico?? Whatever) about how they are responsible for the Tbolts latest set of woes. The gloating is cut short (and so is Techno) by the arrival of Citizen V! Meanwhile, Erik is watching the news and sees how his pals are getting creamed, so he resolves to do something. But now, back to the beat-up-a-superhero-thon. . . It?s pathetic, really. Graviton wipes the floor with Tbolts and Lightning Rods. But suddenly, Songbird scores a hit. But Graviton shrugs it off. Which prompts the question: What is Gravitons ? durability rating? I was led to believe that he was normal human in that respect. If he was a normal human, he shouldn't have been able to take a hit like Songbird gave him.(Moonstonelover interjects:He has a personal gravity\protection shield around him, but does have a normal metabolism, in WCA limited series they drugged him in their plan to defeat him) Oh well. Graviton cleans up the rest of the heroes, and our view changes to Mexico. . . Citizen V and Zemo are engaging in a neat-o sword fight, one which looks to last a while. zemo spends some time promising revenge and death. We then change views again to see Graviton engage in a favorite villain activity, namely recounting his origin. Then, guess who shows up. C?mon, guess! Not the Lightning Rods, they?re already here. It?s Atlas! Good ?ol Erik comes dropping out of the sky, and lands on Graviton. Then he gives 2 powerful blows to Graviton, but Gravs shakes it off! That?s the part I can?t believe. Gravs has Atlas fall on him, then Erik unleashes a pounding that would keep Thor at bay, but Gravs simply shrugs it all off. Bull, pure and simple. Anyway, Moonstone seizes the moment to talk Graviton out of killing them, by pointing out that he has no vision. Yet another time, had I been in Gravitons place, where I would have simply thrown a rude gesture at Moonstone, then killed all heroes in my vicinity. Graviton, however, leaves. Jolt is bent out of shape at Karla's tactics, but with some reasoning, gets over it. Mr. Immortal decides to let them go, and the Tbolts leave. To close the issue, we see C.V. beating Zemo with swords and smarts. See, C.V. placed all sorts of bombs all over the Mexican Castle. Zemo escapes, and C.V. vows to destroy the Tbolts. Oh goodie! I like this issue, too. I love the G.L.A. and was tickled pink when I saw them. I liked the C.V./Zemo battle. Again, Fabe-o pulled someone out of obscurity. The only thing I didn?t like was the Graviton/Heroes fight, and how Graviton was beat. Maybe my personality doesn't synch with psychiatry. A good read, and a good buy. More J-Dub reviews-Click here! |
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