IF WOMEN RULED THE WORLD
...Women with cold hands would
give men prostate exams.
...PMS would be a legitimate
defense in court.
...Men would get reputations
for sleeping around.
...Singles bars would have metal
detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.
...A man would no longer be considered
a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.
...Fewer women would be dieting
because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
...Shopping would be considered
an aerobic activity.
..."Ms." Magazine would have
an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.
...Men would not be allowed to
eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
...Men would be secretaries for
female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.
...Little girls would read "Snow
White and the Seven Hunks"
...Men would earn 70 cents for
every dollar women made.
...Men would bring drinks, chips
and dip to women watching soap operas.
...Men would HAVE to get Playboy
for the articles, because there would be no pictures.
...Men would learn phrases like:
"I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful", "Of course you don't look
fat in that outfit."
...Men would be judged entirely
by their looks, women by their accomplishments.
...Men would sit around and wonder
what WE are thinking.
...Men would pay as much attention
to their woman as to their car.
...All toilet seats would be
nailed down.
...Men would work on relationships
as much as they work on their careers.
...TV news segments on sports
would never run longer than 1 minute.
...All men would be forced to
spend one month in a PMS simulator
...During mid-life crisis, men
would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds.
...Overweight men would have
their weight brought to their attention constantly.
...After a baby is born, men
would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot.