The Blame Game

Dear Sister,

I understand your offense at the brother blaming the sisters for all the negatives that are going on. At the same time I think you missed his point (or at least the valid part of what he was saying) that there is a concerted effort to isolate and restrict Black men, and we are active participants in what is called divide and conquer.

Sister the blame game is something that is counter-productive to the entire situation. Understand that if you as women do not use your positions, money, influence, and power to speak out against the systematic attempts by "mainstream" America to destroy your husbands, sons, and brothers, then the current pattern will continue. To start with, what have we (black men and women) done to support Black business? Our men need jobs and we make every excuse not to spend money with Black men. Our communities have no businesses that are owned by us because those of us with disposable income buy only "quality" (meaning white) and feel no obligation to reinvest in their own community. We travel great distances to shop in suburban malls, and then wonder why there is such a lack of work for our young men in their communities. I understand the brother's frustration in that when you see black women in the media and they are asked to support black business in the ghetto, they often become defensive. An example to look at would be Jackie Joyner Kersey, during a discussion on ESPN with herself, Jim Brown, and then President Bill Clinton; the point was brought up about the importance of reinvesting in the black community. Ms. Kersey took personal offense at the suggestion that she should be obligated to spend her "hard earned" money in any community. This tone and action is typical, and not limited to Black women. The problem is as the number of Blacks with disposable income grows, this uninform attitude exacerbates the unlying economic problems of our community.

We measure success by how far we can separate ourselves from the majority of our community. If you live where there are no Black people then you've achieved. In this way as you move up the economic ladder, you are constantly removing the best and the brightest from where they are needed most. Potential mentors, teachers, leaders, and role models repeatedly demonstrate that escape from your own kind is a worthwhile and even necessary goal. And what of those who are left behind? "Successful" brothers and sisters have sent a clear message of their worth! It is these actions of the upwardly mobile in the Black community that work to insure the creation of a permanent, mostly Black, underclass.

While no one makes anyone use drugs, commit crime, fail in school, spread HIV; through our indifference and ignorance we contribute to the hopelessness that cause people to give up, withdraw, or strike out in anger and frustration. For the most part we are a people who have willingly disengaged from their community and its problems. We are unwilling to make even the most minimal sacrifice toward saving our future. We see the problems in community terms but are only interested in personal solutions. All the while some make it as individuals while we are failing as a race.

So please excuse the brother's outburst, I'm sure it was not directed at you personally. But understand it is the responsibility of those who have achieved to contribute to those who are trying to. It all boils down to the answer to Cain's question; if we are to survive as a free people "We must all be our brother's keeper!"

-me 11-22-02