Yugo and Alice
Shina: Hi there Bloody Roar fans! ::she waves enthusiastically:: Listen, most of you already know that there were several bloopers while filming the Bloody Roar 2 story modes right? And if you know that then you'll also know that Uriko caught some of those bloopers and released them on tape... sneaky little runt, eh? ::she winks:: Anyways my point is that she missed a few! In her haste to get away from the director Uriko forgot them, so there's more Bloody Roar 2 bloopers! And I've got them all right here for your viewing pleasure!
Director: Please, no! This will ruin my reputation!
Gado:::off screen:: Can it, you whimp! My daughter can do whatever she wants!
Yugo:::off screen:: Except for Long...
Long and Gado:::off screen:: What!?!
Yugo:::off screen:: Eeep!
Shina: He heh, anyway, there are a few changes in this version. First of all my name and my father's have been changed because these are our most familiar names from the game and because anybody who calls me Jane instead of Shina is begging for a fat lip!
Long:::off screen:: What about Jannu?
Shina: No one calls me that but you. ::winks at him and turns back to the camera:: The second change is that Busuzima was killed so many times that we forgot how many clones we'd made, so from now on they're all just going to be called Busuzima. The last thing is that since there are a little less bloopers here than in Uriko's collection, I'm showing them to you in pairs with Yugo and Alice's stories first, so...
Long:::off screen:: Ahem!
(The camera swirls to one side, focusing on Long.)
Long: We would also like to note that although a certain scene may be described before the dialogue commences the particular description may not apply to...
Yugo:::off screen:: Can't we get this in English please?
Long: If you are not intelligent enough to realize that my aforesaid announcement was in fact in the English language than you would do well to return to your facility of secondary learning.
Yugo:::off screen:: What the hell did that mean?
Long:::-.-000:: Yugo, get an education! Your brain (if you are indeed in possession of one) will thank you for it.
Yugo:::off screen:: Hey, that was an insult wasn't it?
Shina:::off screen:: I think that was Long's way of telling you to go finish high school.
Long: Anyway, what I had endeavored to mention is that if a scene is described before one dialougue the next cut may or may not take place on the same scene due to the fact that...
Yugo:::off screen:: Do you really think that anyone's going to be able to understand what you're saying?
Long: Please excuse me for a moment. ::Long walks off screen and the distinct noise of duct tape being pulled off of the dispenser and fastened onto Yugo's grumbling mouth is heard. Long walks back on screen:: Due to the irregularity of these cuts the scene may change without notice, thank you for your cooperation and enjoy the show!
Yugo's Story
(17 year-old Yugo and 9 year-old Kenji appear. Kenji is wearing white robes, and is standing stiffly in front of Yugo, looking at him mindlessly. Yugo is reaching out a hand to Kenji's shoulder and a fiery background is behind them.)
Yugo: Hey! What are you doing here? Oh, it's only a little kid. Are you a zoanthrope who escaped from the lab? You'd better get out of here quickly! What's the matter with you? Cat got your tongue?
Kenji: No, I'm just waiting for you to finish talking.
Yugo: Well what would you do after having your mouth duct-taped shut for fifteen minutes?
Director: Cut!
*****
(Yugo, Kenji, and Busuzima appear all at BR2 age. Yugo is lying on the ground, reaching out for Kenji, who is unconscious and tucked under Busuzima's arm.)
Yugo: Who the hell are you? Ugh... What do you want with Kenji?
Busuzima: Kenji? This isn't Kenji, you moron. This brat... I mean, Bakuryu... is the master of lap dances and blow jobs!
Yugo:::delivers a powerful punch to Busuzima's head which knocks him out:: If you ever say anything like that about Kenji again I'm gonna...
Kenji:::off screen:: ...kick you in the balls so hard that you'll be able to taste your own...
Director: Cut, CUT! For the love of God, CUT!
*****
Jenny: My, my. Grabbing a lady and calling her a witch. Where are your manners? And just when I was about to let you in on a little secret.
Yugo: Jenny, everybody already knows what Gado said in that nasty little love letter...
Gado:::off screen:: You dare insult my woman?!?!
Yugo: Eep!
Director: Cut, cut! Ohgami senoir, don't piss Gado senior off!
*****
Jenny: Now, now. Don't get carried away. I just wanted to get a feel for your sexual pleasures... What the #%$@! Someone altered my script!
::Yugo snickers::
Gado:::off screen:: I'm going to punch a hole throught that big head of yours! ::Runs after Yugo who runs into his trailer. Gado rams the door, bursting it open and goes in after him, Yugo's screams of pain are heard::
Alice: Save some for me! ::runs in after them::
Director: If only that idiot had listened to my advice we wouldn't have to-CUT!
*****
Jenny: That creepy, lizard-looking guy's name is Busuzima. He's the leader's right-hand man, they say.
Yugo: Right handed, Left handed, or maybe both since he can't get it any other way. ::he looks around, waiting for someone to complain::
Gado:::off screen:: I have to agree with that.
Long:::off screen:: Me too.
::Busuzima starts to cry::
Director: He he... er, cut!
*****
Shina: Don't move!
Yugo: Are you Shina? I want to talk to you.
Shina: That's in the script? Some idoit who wrote this thing thinks that we don't even know each other? How could I miss meeting you when our fathers were such good friends!?! ::Shina glares angrilly at the scriptwriter who widenes his eyes in fear::
Yugo: Beats me.
Director: This is acting people, not your real lives!
Scriptwriter: Shina is new in this game and we had to introduce her somehow...
Shina: What a lousy excuse!
Director: Cut!
*****
Shina: Alpha's his code name. No one knows his real name, or who he even really is. In biology, it's a term that means the leader of the group or flock. You ought to be familiar with the term, considering that you're a wolf zoanthrope and that in common wolf packs the leader is called the Alpha Male...
Yugo: I think you've definately been spending too much time with Long.
Gado:::off screen:: So do I.
Shina: And I think that you've been spending too much time with that long legged slut, Dad! But would you listen to me? Noooo.
Director: Cut, cut! Let's finish the scene people!
*****
Stun: You... saw me. You saw me.
Yugo: Stun, I...saw you. I saw you.
Stun: It was in the script damn it!
Director: Ohgami senior! You are really starting to get on my nerves! Cut!
*****
Yugo: Live subjects? What kind of monster is this Busuzima? I won't let him do that to Kenji!
Kenji:::off screen:: Too late...
Director: Cut!
*****
Busuzima: Ha ha ha! It's no use, cretin! He's not your precious Kenji! He's Bakuryu. Assassin. Master of...
::Yugo punches Busuzima's face and he crumples to the ground, unconscious::
Director: Ohgami senior!
Yugo: I wasn't gonna let him say that again!
Kenji: Thanks Yugo, maybe you are useful for something after all.
Yugo: Hey!
Director: Ohgami senior, someday we will have to finish filming this scene! Cut!
*****
Yugo: Long! You, too? You're working for Busuzima?
Shenlong: Who is this poor, confused cretin? I am the heart that pumps the blood of the Zoanthrope Liberation Front. I know no miserable traitor such as you.
Yugo: No, you're not Long. Busuzima said that you were short.
Shenlong: WHAT!?!?! ::glares at Busuzima::
Busuzima:::off screen:: I d-didn't say that! ::runs into his trailer::
::the director throws his clipboard into the air and takes a few bottles of beer into his trailer::
*****
Busuzima: Put a cork in it! I bet you think that we scientists are all big-headed weaklings, don't you? Well you're wrong! I, Busuzima, am the head of a child pornography webring!
Everyone else: O.O
::Uriko and Kenji run over and beat the crap out of him before a squat team charges in, handcuffs him, and draggs him away::
Busuzima: I didn't do! I'm innocent I'm telling ya! It was just a joke!
::Everyone cracks up laughing::
Director: Ha ha ha... I mean cut! Ha ha... bring in a clone!
*****
Gado: So you beat me to it again. I really have to work on my speed... ::Starts jogging around the set::
Yugo: Gado, just what do you think you're doing?
Gado: Like I just said...
Director: Cut!
Alice's Story
*****
Alice: What nerve! How could he forget someone like me?
Yugo:::off screen:: Yeah, how could I forget someone who follows me everywhere I go, kisses the ground I walk on and raids my sock drawer?!?
Alice: But I love your socks, they smell so much like you!
Yugo:::off screen:: I guess I should just be happy she's not into my underwear drawer. ::Alice's face lights up at the idea:: Oh, nooooo!
Director: Ohgami senior! ::director glares at him:: Cut!
*****
Jenny: Who I am isn't important, Miss Nonomura. The question is, why didn't you go after Yugo?
Alice: Because I'm gonna go raid his underwear drawer.
Yugo:::off screen:: Why did I have to open my big mouth?
Director: Good question Ohgami senior, Cut!
*****
Jenny: I sent him to your hospital for a reason.
Alice: You beat him up? How dare you touch my boyfriend! ::she socks Jenny in the jaw::
Jenny: I would never touch that stupid mutt, it's in the script!
Yugo:::off screen:: I'm not a mutt damn it!
Director: Cut!
*****
Alice: What on earth are you talking about? What do you want anyway?
Jenny: Let me see... a five day four night cruise to share with Alan would be nice. And then maybe some kinky leather lingerie and whipped cream...
Alice:::O.O::
Gado:::off screen:: I can get the cruise tickets dear. ::winks at her:: If you remember to bring the whip.
Shina:::off screen:: Dad! This is disgusting!
Director: Cut! Burgatory, stick to the script!
*****
Jenny: ...Do you know a kid named Kenji?
Alice: Yeah, he's only Yugo's little brother! Who do you think lets me in to raid Yugo's sock drawer?
Yugo:::off screen:: Kenji! How could you!?! That's it! You're grounded!
Kenji:::off screen:: Aw crap...
Director: Come on people, lines! Cut!
*****
Jenny: They claim to fight against discriminations by humans, but in reality they exploit anyone, especially their ninja assassins...
Kenji:::off screen:: Hey!
Director: Cut! Burgatory!
*****
Uriko: No, really, it's nothing. Besides, I should be asking you what you're doing. You seem upset...
Alice: I am upset, Yugo put a lock on his sock drawer!
Director: Cut! Enough about Ohgami senior's sock drawer already!
*****
Alice: Oh, so you want fight, huh? Well, I never lose a fight!
Shina: Well you're about to, you conceited little...
Director: Gado juinorette, lines please! Cut!
*****
Shina: Forget it, lady. It's my fault for overestimating you.
Alice: Hey!
Director: Gado juniorette, stick to your lines!
Shina: But there's no way in hell I'd ever lose to her!
Director: Cut!
*****
Yugo: Hey, what're you doing in a place like this?
Shina:::off screen, as Alice:: I'm only stalking you like I always do...
Alice: Hey!
Yugo: God, Alice! When are you going to stop following me!?!
Director: Gado juniorette, sit down and shut up!
Shina:::off screen:: What did you just say to me!?!
Director: Er, em... CUT!
*****
Yugo: Hey, what're you doing in a place like this?
Alice: I came to steal the key to your sock drawer!
Yugo: Oh, brother!
Kenji:::off screen:: That's my line!
Director: Script, Nonomura senior! Cut!
*****
Yugo: H-Hey, calm down! Let me go! Stop! You'd better stop before I get mad!
Long:::off screen:: Which isn't a difficult thing to accomplish...
Yugo: Hey!
Director: No interference, Jin! Cut!
*****
Yugo: Kenji was kidnapped 'cause I couldn't protect him. I don't want anything like that to happen to you because of me.
Alice: Oh Yugo, you really do care about me! ::throws her arms around him for a hug::
Yugo: It was just in the script damn it! ::pushes her off him:: Anyways just because I don't want to see you die doesn't mean I want to go out with you! ::Alice starts sobbing:: Aw come on... ::she cries:: you know I didn't mean...
Director: This is a great example of why people should stick to their lines! Cut!
*****
Shenlong: You're an unwanted guest, and you shall pay for your insolence with your life!
Alice: You mean you don't take personal checks?
Director: Nonomura senior!
Alice: How about credit cards?
Shenlong: Only Visa or Mastercard.
Alice:::fishes through her purse:: Alright...
Director: Oh, cut!
*****
Alice: What have you done with Yugo? So you're the one who kidnapped Kenji!
Shenlong: Does that mean I'm a bastard?
Kenji:::off screen:: That's killed Kenny you moron!
Alice: What have you done with Yugo? So you're the one who killed Kenny!
::Kenji smacks himself across the forehead and the director buries his face in his hands and cries::
*****
Kenji: ... What am I doing here... Y... Yugo... help...
Alice: Wait a minute! You must be Kenji, er, I mean Kenny, right?
Director: Nonomura senior!
Alice: I'm confused!
Director: Cut!
*****
Gado: I am a little surprised that you made it here... Perhaps you are the kind of leader that the new generation needs.
Alice: No way, I'm too busy stalking... I mean chasing after Yugo.
Gado: I see...
Yugo:::off screen:: Aw man...
Director:::-.-0:: Cut!
*****
Alice: Because, really, a nurse like me should be healing people, not beating them up.
Yugo:::off screen:: How long did it take you to figure that out?
Alice: Hey!
Director: Ohgami senior, please! Cut!
*****