Bloody Roar 2 Bloopers 2  
Long and Shina
Shina: Hi guys, we're back again! This time I get to share my man Long's story and my own with you, heh. This is gonna be interesting. Just expect to see plenty of sparks flying between the two of us, and my father...

Gado:::glares at Long:: That reminds me... I never did give you a decent beating for your rude behavior.

Long: Jannu... I'll catch up with you later. ::runs away::

Gado:::runs after him:: Hey, come back here you coward!

Shina: Leave him alone Dad! ::gets up from her chair and chases them:: How dare you call him that!?!

(The camera swivels around, focusing on Uriko.)

Uriko: Great! Do you know what this means!?! I get to show you more bloopers! Yay!


Long's Story

*****

Long: You say this evil man resembles me?

Uriko: Yes, he looks just like you except for glowing red vampire eyes.

Shenlong:::off screen:: I'm not a freakin' vampire godamnit! ::glares at the screen writer::

Screenwriter: It's not my fault! Blame the people in make up!

Director: Cut, cut! Nonomura juniorette, will you please recite your lines!?!

*****

Uriko: Yes. He's the leader of the Zoanthrope Liberation Front. "Liberation." How can such scoundrels even use that word?

Yugo:::off screen:: It's easy, they used to hang around Long too...

Uriko and Long: Quit interferring with our scene Yugo! ::they glare at him::

Yugo:::off screen:: Geez, like master, like pupil...

Director: Twenty more dollars for the film's funding! ::happilly scribbles the amount down on his clipboard::

Yugo:
::off screen:: Aw man, I'm gonna be broke!

Director:
If you don't learn to shut up you're going to be fired! Cut!


*****

Long: But resembling so nefarious a man, I myself could never hope to be virtuous.

ShenLong:::off screen:: What did you just call me?

Director: Jin #2, you're not on yet!

Long: I'm sorry but it was in the script and I was simply reciting my lines.

Director:::mumbles:: Thank God somebody does... Cut!

*****

Long: Don't bother me. I'm in a hurry...

Shina: Not so fast! You haven't kissed me goodbye yet!

Long: I didn't?

Shina: No. ::the two embrace and start kissing::

Gado:::off screen:: Ahem! ::they both stop kissing and blush::

Director: Gado juinorette please stick to your lines! Cut!

*****

Long: Your father does not resemble me, does he? ::a mischeivious glint appears in his eye:: Who's your daddy?

Shina:::throws her script to the ground and grins:: Long's my daddy!"

Long: Who's your daddy?

Shina: My daddy is Long!

Yugo:::from off screen:: That didn't sound...

Long:
WHO'S YOUR DADDY!?!

Shina: LONG YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE MY BITCH!!!

Long:::O.O:: Guess that's what I get for provoking her...

Everyone else: Ahhhhh! My ears!

::the camera man takes some earplugs out of his pocket and stuffs them in his ears::

Director: -.-0 Cut!

Gado:::off screen, using his fingers to rub his aching forehead >_<:: This is extremely disturbing.

Shina:::walks over to him and elbows his side:: You know we're just kidding!

Kenji:::off screen:: I'm just surprised that it wasn't Yugo this time...

Yugo:::off screen:: Am I really that bad? ::Everyong gives him a look:: Alright! My fault for asking!

Director:::angrilly yells at the camera man:: Cut!

Long: Alan Gado, do you really think I would say something like that to your daughter...::gives Shina a 'just joking' wink:: in public?

Gado:::off screen, looks up at Long and calmly says:: Now I'm going to kill you. ::he jumps up from his seat  to run at Long who flees, Gado pursues screaming:: By the time I'm done with you you'll wish you'd never been born!

Shina: DAD!!! ::runs after them::

Director:::runs over to the camera man and hits him over the head with his clipboard:: Cut, Cut, CUT! Someone get Jin back in here!

*****

Shina: I was mistaken. I am sorry. But what are you doing here?

Long: Hiding from your father.

Shina: Oh...

Director: Why me!?! Cut!

*****

Long: An assassin, eh? Tylon's dogs all have the same stench... wait a minute, I'm supposed to be talking about Kenji, not Yugo!

Yugo:::off screen:: I'm not a #%$@ing dog!

Kenji:::Whew, you're right about the stench part Long, what B.O.!

Yugo:::off screen:: Hey!

Director: Ha ha ha... I mean, Cut!

*****

Long: Stand back, Uriko. I'll handle this.

Uriko:::walks over to Kenji and they start kissing:: That's okay Master Long, I can handle it. ::she caresses Kenji's back::

Long: Never mind then... ::turns to leave::

Yugo and Alice: Uriko! Kenji!

Kenji and Uriko: Uh oh...

Director: Cut!

*****

Long: You are too young for a job that can only lead to your own death. Turn away from the evil before it's too late...

Kenji: I guess you would know that from experience eh, Long? Well then I guess you're right... ::walks off stage toward Uriko::

Director: Ohgami junior, don't make me cut your pay too! Why don't you start behaving? That way you can use the money you get to take Uriko out somewhere and spend a little time away from Ohgami senior!

Kenji:::off screen:: Hm, sounds good.

Yugo:::off screen:: Hey!

Director:
Back onstage Ohgami junior! Cut!

*****

Long:
You're alright. Don't worry about anything.

Uriko:::sacrastically:: T-Thank you so much, Master... for beating the crap out of me...

Long: It's in the script...

Director: Nonomura juniorette, stick to your lines! Cut!

*****

Long: In your condition you still wish to fight?

Stun: I c-can't die... ...until I find... a decent lawyer! I'm gonna sue Busuzima for every single penny he's worth!

Long:::-.-0:: Okay...

Director: Goldberg, please stick to the script! Cut!

*****

Busuzima: Oh, shame on you for peeking! I was just about to get myself to come! ::everybody else's face turns green and they run into the bathrooms:: What?

*****

Busuzima:
Oh, be still my heart! Hubba hubba! Nothin' like the real thing, baby!

Long: Don't you usually use your hands for that kind of work?

Busuzima: Yes, my Hans... and my Kenji, and my Shenlong...

Shenlong and Kenji: I'm gonna beat you into a bloody pulp! ::They turn into beasts as they rush him and when they get close enough the sink their claws into his flesh and start to tear him to pieces::

Director: You know, it's really too bad that we have to cloning the same perverted moron... Cut!

*****

Shenlong: Is this some sort of joke? Attempting to imitate me...

Long: Actually you're the one that was cloned from my genes so...

Shenlong: It was in the script...

Long:
We really need a new scriptwriter. ::scriptwriter gets an anxious look on his face::

Director: We can't fire the scriptwriter, cut!

*****

Long: There is no need to panic. I know who you really are. You're Lestat from Queen of the Damned...

Shenlong: Why does everyone think I'm a freakin' vampire!

Long: You're not? Well then maybe you're Count Dracula.

Shenlong:::glares at Long:: I hate you!

Director: Hahahaha... I mean... cut!

*****

Long: Gado... Did you come to laugh at me?

Gado: No, I came to kill you for what you said to my daughter! Maybe after you're dead I'll laugh at you... and dance on your grave.

Director: Gado senior will you please stick to your lines!

Gado: Are you trying to tell me what do do!?!

Director: Eep! I mean, cut!

*****

Gado: It's time for you to stop thinking about your past, and remember that I'm going to prevent you from having any future!

Long: It was just a little joke! Honest!

Director: Cut! Take 2...

*****

Gado: It's time for you to stop thinking about your past. It is wrong to waste time worrying about what cannot be undone... unless it's something that's been done to my daughter...

Long: Alan Gado, I have done nothing of the sort with your daughter! It was a joke! You know we're just friends...

Director: Cut! Take 3...

*****

Gado: It's time for you to stop thinking about your past. It is wrong to waste time worrying about what cannot be undone. There are people who need your help now.

Long: I know what you would say, and it would seem like wisdom but for the warning in my... heart? ::O_O flips through his script:: Hey! These aren't my lines!

Director: Oh why did I have to shoot next to Lord Of The Rings?

Yugo:::off screen:: It sounded like something he would say...

Long:::stomps toward Yugo who runs into his trailer:: I'm going to...!

Director: CUT!

*****

Long: Lecturing others on how they should live is a bad habit of yours.

Gado: Want to make something of it!?!

Long:
It's in the script! I'm just reciting the script!

Gado: You little...! ::glares at the scriptwriter who hides under his desk::

Director:::crawls on his hands and knees to Gado, once he gets there he clasps his hands and begs:: Can we please get on with this!?!

*****

Long: I just dislike being told what to do with my life. Especially where it concerns your daughter...

Gado:::an angry look in his eye:: Oh, is that so?

Shina:::off screen:: I can decide what to do with my own life Dad! I'm 19 freakin' years old!

Gado: Do you know that he's 30?

Shina:::off screen, sarcastically:: He is? ::looks at Long and drops the sarcastic tone:: Besides he doesn't look like he's...

Gado: A little old don't you think?

Shina:::off screen:: If I were you, Dad, I wouldn't be talking about age!

Gado: How dare you!?!

Director:
Come on people, can't we resolve this later? Cut!

*****

Gado: So you intend to stick to the path of aloofness, eh?

Long: That depends on whether you can forgive me for what I said to your daughter or not.

Director: Enough wise cracks Jin! Cut!

*****


Shina's Story

*****

Shina: Who are you and who's yo mamma?

Long: Haven't we provoked your father's anger enough already?

Shina: I said, who's yo mamma!?!

Long: I don't want to get into any more trouble.

Shina: You're no fun Long! Who is yo mamma!?!

Long:::mumbles:: You are.

Shina: Who's yo mamma?

Long: Shina's my mamma!

Shina: WHO'S YOUR MAMMA!?!?!

Long: SHINA'S MY HOT MAMMA!!! ::she glances at him, lifting an eyebrow:: I'm not gonna say bitch. ::shakes his head::

Yugo:::off screen:: You just did.

Shina:
You're such a party pooper Long!

Gado:::off screen:: Actually that was very smart of him. ::glares at Shina::

Shina: I was just trying to have some fun Dad!

Gado:::off screen:: You'd better not be having too much fun with him!

Director:::shakes his head:: What is is with you people and this daddy/mamma thing? Cut!

*****

Long: That's enough!

Shina: Are you talking about me and Uriko or me and Dad?

Long: Either pair.

Gado:::off screen:: She's my daughter damnit! Just you remember that! And I won't have her...

Shina: Dad! I'm old enough to make my own freakin' decisions, okay? Now stay out of it!!!

Yugo:::off screen:: You're own freakin' decisions? So that's what you're been doing with...

Gado:::off screen, stands up and pounds one fist into his hand:: You'd better shut that...!

Yugo:::off screen:: I sure am glad I'm not Long! ::gulp!::

Busuzima:
::off screen:: You're not long? Guess I will have to find someone else to screw... I mean, experiment on...

::Every one except Yugo gives Busuzima a dirty look::

Yugo: I don't get it. I thought Long was an assassin not...

Director: Oh shut up! Cut!

*****

Long: There are no ZLF terrorists here to fight, but if you really want to beat someone up Yugo shouldn't be far from here.

Shina: Great idea Long.

Yugo:::off screen:: Hey!

Director: It would be an even better idea if it were in the script! Cut!

*****

Long: Your father does not resemble me, does he?

Shina: No, he doesn't. Thank God.

Gado:::off screen:: You disrespectful little...

Shina: Why would I want to get with someone that looks like you?

Gado:::off screen:: So you admit you're doing something with him then!?!

Long:::looks at Shina:: Should I run?

Shina: I've got him under control. ::puts her fists up and gets into a fighting stance::

Director: Cut, cut, CUT! We're trying to film here people!

*****

Shina: Using a puppet would be a good way to avoid assassination. I don't like to think my father has sunk that low, but then again he won't even let me choose a boyfriend...

Gado:::off screen:: That has nothing to do with whether or not I would be involved with the ZLF!

Director: Shina please recite your lines! Cut!

*****

Long: Don't worry about it. I was the one who started it.

Shina: Yeah, you never should've started the 'who's your daddy' thing.

Gado:::off screen:: Damn right he shouldn't have!

Shina: Dad, will you SHUT UP!!!

Director: Can we please just finish this scene already? Cut!

*****

Shina: Farewell. I wish you luck in battle. Especially if that battle's with my father.

Long: Yes, me too.

::they both look expectantly at Gado::

Gado:::off screen:: I'm through with you two for now. ::glares at Long:: But that doesn't mean that I'm not gonna kill you later!

Director: Does that mean no more interruptions from Alan Gado!?! Good, cut!

*****

Shina: If my father were here, these sorry soldiers would be in for a lot worse. Especially if he was giving them a lecture... ::silence on and off the set ....... she looks at his empty chair and then around the room:: Speaking of which, where'd he go?

Yugo:::off screen:: I saw him sneak into the back room with Jenny.

Shina: Oh God! And he thinks Long and I are bad!

Long:::off screen:: Hey, your father's not here, you know what that means? ::winks at her::

Director: It means that we're going to cut!

*****

Shina: Who are you?

Stun: Bus...u...zima.

Shina: I thought Busuzima was that ugly green haired guy.

Stun:
Yes, I hate him!

Shina: Then why did you just say that you were Busuzima?

::they both glare at the scriptwriter::

Scriptwriter: He is so consumed with revenge that his enemy's name is all he can say!

Stun:
B.S. how's that for something else to say?

Director: Do you think you could write something better Steve?

Stun: Yes I do, and don't call me Steve, it's Stephen goddamnit!

Director:
Cut!

*****

Kenji: How mortifying...

Shina: Did you think I would just let you go? Well I guess I could...

Kenji: Really? Thanks! ::walks off screen towards Uriko::

Director: Kenji Ohgami! Get your @$$ back here! Cut!

*****

Busuzima: H-Hey! Who the hell are you?!

Shina: I am daughter of Gado, instructor, scolder, and disciplinarian of all zoanthrope kind! Bow down and worship me!

::everybody rolls around on the floor laughing::

Long:::walks over to her and bows, whispering:: Good thing your father isn't listening...

Director: Ha haha ha, I mean... hehe ha, cut!

*****

Busuzima: This was an important experiment and you ruined it!

Shina: I did? Great! Tell me next time you plan on working on another important experiment so I can come back and ring your scrawny little neck!

Director: I don't know about you Shina, but I don't want to spend anymore time than absolutely necessary with this perverted moron. So let's finish the scene, okay?

Shina: Certainly. ::she punches Busuzima in the face, knocking him unconscious and he falls to the ground::

Director: That's not what I had in mind! ::she walks off the set and over to Long and they start to kiss:: Stop that and get back on stage Shina! Cut!

*****

Shina: Wait. I sense something strange. ::she looks around and sees her father and Jenny coming out of the back room:: Damn, I knew it was too good to last!

Yugo:::off screen:: I thought you hated the fact that your father and Jenny...

Long:::off screen:: She was glad to be rid of his presence you moron!

Yugo:::off screen:: Presents? What presents? Why would anyone want to get rid of...

Director: Twenty more dollars to funding! I'm going to commision some awesome magazine ads thanks to Yugo!

Yugo: Aw man...

Director:::sarcastically:: Don't be sad, you're all going to be stars! Cut!

*****

Busuzima: These days the brainwashing just won't take and he's so difficult to deal with. Maybe a little sex will set his mind right. I have a grand idea! Why don't you do a little foreplay with him!

::Shina beats the crap out of Busuzima::

Gado: If only she had that reaction to all men...

Shina: In your dreams Dad!

Director: Maybe we should try giving the next clone a few more brain cells, cut!

*****

Shina: Father... go away unless you're coming to apologize!

Gado: Apologize? For what? Trying to keep my beloved daughter safe?

Shina: You're such a hypocrite Dad! Telling me that I can't even talk to someone I like and then sneaking into the back room with Jenny!

Gado: Dear, that is different...

Shina: Bull $#%@, I'll show you different! ::she socks him in the chest::

Director: We're not supposed to be on the fight scene yet! Cut!

*****

Shina: Father... I mean, Gado. Since you don't deserve to be called father.

Gado: Shina, I am only looking out for your best interests...

Shina: And what do you think is in my best interests? Becoming a nun?

Gado: Actually that's not a bad idea.

Shina:
Grrr....

Director: Can't you two fight about this some other time? ::they both glare at him:: Eep! Alright, alright! I'll stay out of it! Cut!

*****

Gado: Ha! Don't insult me by associating me with that group of murderers and swindlers.

Shina: Why not? You're already an @$$ hole and a hypocrit...

Gado: Dear, please...

Shina:::batts her eyes innocently:: Daddy, you want to see me happy right?

Gado: Yes, of course dear.

Shina: Then stay out of my freakin' business!

*****
BRbloopers   FanFic page   My Site