Jenny and Gado
Long: My darling, we have a responsibility to the fans to show all the bloopers we have.
Shina: I hate this set! Why the hell can't that stupid bitch keep her hands off my Dad!?!
Gado: But dear, can't an old man have a little fun?
Shina: YOU MAKE ME SICK!!! You're such a hypocritical piece of $@%# Dad!
Gado: Now listen here you ungrateful little...
::the camera swivels to one side and slides away as the fight continues until it is no more than background noise, Jenny appears in the camera::
Jenny: Anyway, I hope you can handle my Alan's and my bloopers, because they're really hot.
Jenny's Story
*****
Jenny: Something terrible must have happened to make you quit.
Gado: My troops started hanging out with Busuzima and Hans...
Jenny: I see...
Director: Ugh... I need to get some coffe, this is going to be a long day...
Yugo:::off screen:: But we're working on Jenny's story not Long's...
Long:::off screen:: What an imbecile.
Director: Cut!
*****
Jenny: Captain Gado complaining to me. Who would've thought?
Gado: Certainly not Yugo.
Yugo:::off screen:: What is this? Pick on the wolf zoanthrope day?
Director: Don't make me start deducting money from your paycheck again Yugo! Cut!
*****
Jenny: So what do you want me to do? Execute my erotic dancing moves for you? Or strip to make you forget about the ZLF?
Gado: I would never ask a refined person such as your to take on such a dangerous mission... I'm just kidding, go ahead!
Shina:::off screen:: Dad! That's disgusting!
Director: Keep in mind that this isn't a strip tease movie Jenny! Cut!
*****
Jenny: So what do you want me to do?
Gado: I need you to get close to me and then backup. ::^.~::
Jenny: How unexpectedly simple, we should use that position more often...
Shina:::off screen:: Ugh! ::closes her eyes and stuffs her fingers into her ears::
Director: This is not a porn flick either!
Yugo:::off screen:: Aw darn, guess I'll have to order the playboy channel...
Director: Twenty more dollars for the film's funding!
Yugo:::off screen:: Man! Now I can't afford it!
::a bunch of Yugo's fans rush onstage and towards Yugo::
Yugo's Fans: We'll be your playboy bunnies Yugo!
Yugo:::off screen:: Oh, %$#@! ::he runs off and they pursue::
Alice:::off screen, runs after them:: You little bitches! Lay off him! I'm Yugo's playboy bun... uh... I mean...
Director: Cut, CUT, CUT!!!
*****
Jenny: In short, I suit your needs as a free agent who will work for anyone for the right price. Sounds good. I think I'll get to work right away. Take your pants off!
Gado: Certainly dear. ::fumbles around with his pants zipper::
Long, Yugo, and Kenji:::off stage:: NOOOOO! ::they shield their eyes::
Shina:::off stage:: Dad! If you don't cut it out I'm gonna have sex with Long!
::The entire set quiets down and all eyes turn to look at Shina::
Long:::off stage, in a joking manner:: Do I get any say in this? Or are you just going to strap me down on your bed and hope I cooperate?
Shina: It was just a bluff! ::at all the people who are still staring at her:: God! What is with you people!
Gado: Jennifer my dear?
Jenny: Yes?
Gado: Perhaps we should save our antics for the bedroom...
Director: In that case, cut!
*****
Jenny: I teamed you with Long so you can get the skills you need to handle Kenji.
Uriko: What!?! I don't need any additional skills to...
Long:::off screen:: What is it about me that makes people want to make sick jokes? I'm not a $#@*ing monk or a pervert!
Shina:::off screen:: Hell yeah! You tell 'em baby!
Gado:::off screen, looks over both Long and Shina carefully:: And exactly what is that supposed to mean!?!
Long:::off screen:: It means that from now on I'm going to keep my mouth shut.
Director: Let's get back to filming people, cut!
*****
Jenny: Pretty good moves. I actually got excited. What did Long teach you in that cave anyway?
Long:::-.-000:: What did I just say...?
Uriko: How about I teach you some better manners... ::jumps on Jenny's head and scratches her face:: Grrr!
Director: Haven't any of you ever heard the phrase, 'The show must go on!'? ::entire BR2 cast gives him a dirty look:: Oh, cut!
*****
Jenny: No one likes violent people. I'm just trying to teach you things for your own good. After all someone's got to...
Yugo: Hey! Take that back!
Jenny: Calm down, little boy…
Yugo: I'm 23 years old damn it, I'm not a little boy!
Director: Can we please get on with this? Cut!
*****
Jenny: You need to work on your fighting skills and your female charm.
Shina:::off stage as Alice:: Really? Do you think you could teach me some of that so I can get Yugo to like me?
Alice: Hey!
Director: Must we go through this with every single scene!?! Cut!
*****
Shina: Well I'm looking for a lion zoanthrope named Gado. Have you seen him?
Jenny: Don't ask me. I certainly don't want anyone waltzing in on my territory...
Shina: He's my Dad! You sick little vampire bat!
Jenny: I'm not a vampire bat! I'm just a bat. And I only said that to make the point that these stupid scriptwriters don't seem to think that I know who you are.
::they both turn to glare at the scritpwriter::
Scriptwriter: You do know, you just aren't going to let her know that you know, because if you let her know that you know then she would know that Gado knows... uh... nevermind.
Director: Cut, cut! Can we please finish the scene people?
*****
Jenny: A client who heads out on his own secret missions? Now I have seen everything... except for what kind of boxers he was wearing today, maybe I should go follow him.
Shina: Keep your %#&*ing hands off of my Dad, you little slut!
Gado: Shina, dear...
Shina: Don't even start with me Dad! ::puts up her fists and gets into a fighting stance::
Director: Why? Why? Why? CUT!
*****
Jenny: Excuse me, but I don't think I heard you knock.
Kenji: That's because I didn't, I'm an assasin and I was trying to sneak in and kill you!
Jenny: You must be a ZLF agent.
Kenji: But I don't wanna be!
Director: Cut! One more outburst from you and I'm deducting your pay Kenji!
*****
Busuzima: Welcome, so many visitors! Now here's another? Oh, what am I to do?!
Jenny: Well to start you could straighten your posture, die your hair back to a normal color and start wearing some sane-looking clothes.
Busuzima: But I like my hair!
Hans:::off screen:: So do I Busu-baby!
::every one except for Busuzima and Hans -.-000::
Jenny: I would beat you up but you already look like someone beat you over the head with a huge ugly stick...
::Busuzima starts to cry and Hans goes over to 'comfort' him::
Director: Cut, cut! If I put out material like this I will never get another job again!
*****
Shenlong: What's this? An insect?
Jenny: No, I'm a bat... insects are what bats eat.
Shenlong: No, I was trying to call you an insect!
Jenny: But I'm not an insect.
Shenlong: It was an insult!
Yugo:::off screen:: An insect insult! ::everybody starts laughing::
Kenji: Wow, Yugo said something that was actually funny and not just perverted...
Director: He he he, alright... heh heh. I'm not going to fine him for this one... Cut!
*****
Jenny: Well, I think I'll get Gado and then be on my way to his bedroom...
Shina: Didn't I tell you to keep your grimy hands off my Dad!?!
Gado: But Shina, I like it when she puts her hands on me...
Shina: Dad! You're making me sick!
Director: Enough comments about your relationship with Alan, Jenny! The show must go on! Cut!
*****
Jenny: I'm making an exception. After all, I did owe you a favor. Well, now that the mission is accomplished, I wonder what I should do next…
Alan: To start with, how about being a stripper for the injured person in front of you?
Jenny: For a contract like that, I'd have to... Oh, really dear?
Director: What did I just say about the relationship comments? Cut!
*****
Gado's Story
*****
Jenny: So you decided to act on your own, did you?
Gado: For now, anyway. But eventually I'm going to get myself an agent.
Jenny: Dear, that was my line...
Gado: Oh? Oops...
Yugo:::off screen:: Maybe I should get an agent too...
Director:::sarcastically:: He he, good luck getting an agent with talent like yours, Yugo. Cut!
*****
Jenny: So you still want to fight? You're incorrigible. And… your wounds aren't even healed yet. Have you been hanging around Yugo again?
Yugo:::off screen:: Hey, that last line's not in the script!
Jenny: It should be.
Long:::off screen:: I'm surprised he actually noticed.
Director: Have I got to glue the scripts to your foreheads to make you people stick to your lines!?! Cut!
*****
Alan: Well, let's see if I'm back in top form yet…::he winks at her:: You gonna help me?
Jenny:::grabs at the crotch of his pants:: Yes, yes. Boy, you sure are a handful.
::everyone else screams and covers their eyes except for Busuzima and Hans who lay back in their chairs and start munching on some popcorn::
Director: Didn't I say that this isn't supposed to be a porn flick? When will you people start listening!?! CUT!
*****
Long: Avoiding you is tougher than giving up the underground... Which is a real shame because I have no desire to encounter some of the things you do with Jenny.
Gado: Why do people seem to think that we're a couple of exibitionists!?! ::the entire room goes silent and everyone except Jenny raises an eyebrow at Gado:: Alright, I obviously shouldn't have asked that question.
Director: Oh, how many times am I going to have to cut!?!
*****
Gado: Ha ha, No sermons this time.
Long: Are you sure?
Gado: Yes...
Long: You're not going to berate me for being a hermit?
Gado: No.
Long: Ridicule me for not caring about all of the zoanthrope's problems?
Gado: No.
Long: Ask me to become a zoanthrope leader?
Gado: No.
Long: Threaten to kill me if I touch your daughter?
Gado: Well, maybe that last one...
Long:::-.-000:: Why am I not surprised?
Shina: You'd better not, Dad! ::raises her fists::
Director: Cut, he he heh he... Cut! ::more insane laughing:: CUT!
*****
Gado: Do you still despise your own powers? Well I guess I can't blame you... After all you are pretty weak and pathetic when compared to me...
Long:::-.-0:: Well my ego is certainly much smaller anyway...
Shina: Lay off Dad!
Director: Ah!!! NOOOOOO!!! NOT ANOTHER CUT! WAHAHA!
*****
Gado: You still don't understand. Some day you will learn there is no way you're ever going to get with my daughter.
Shina: Dad! Cut it out or I'm gonna beat the $%#@ out of you!
Director: Yes, please! Somebody shut him up!
Gado:::glares at the director:: Why you little...
Director: Ah! Cut!
*****
Gado: Some day you will learn there is no shame in using the force to protect the ones you love.
Shina:::off screen:: Yes, use the force young padowan!
Long: Who do I look like? Luke Skywalker?
Gado: No, but I just love that movie.
Director: Why God, oh why?
Yugo:::off screen:: He just said it was because he liked Star Wars!
::everyone but Yugo -.-000000::
Director: Oh cut!
*****
Gado: Some day you will learn there is no shame in using force to protect the ones you love.
Long: Are you trying to say that I should beat you up in order to get to your daughter then? ::Alan's face turned red and he clenches his fists:: Heh, guess not...
Director: That does it! From now on anyone who intentionally interrupts the scene, says the wrong lines in an effort to make a joke, or otherwise forces me to cut the scene is going to pay for it out of their check! Cut!
*****
Gado: How's work, mademoiselle?
Alice: I don't know, I skipped work today so I could raid Yugo's underwear drawer.
Yugo:::off screen:: Aw man! Now I'm gonna have to buy myself more boxers!
Alice: But Yugo, all I saw in there was briefs.
::everybody snickers at him::
Yugo:::off screen:: Damnit Alice! Why do you always have to pry into my personal stuff! I hate you!
::Alice starts crying and Uriko glares at Yugo::
Director: Twenty dollars of Yugo's towards a scene relocation in Hawaii...
Yugo:::off screen:: Hey! Alice started it...
Alice: I hate you too Yugo!
Yugo: Ally, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...
Director: Oh yeah... Well then twenty dollars from Mrs. Nonomura and ten from Yugo for keeping it going.
Yugo: Hey!
Director: Make that twenty from Yugo...
Yugo: Damn it!
Director: Thirty from Yugo... ::the room grows silent, everyone looking at Yugo expectently for a few moments, he claps his hand over his grimacing mouth:: ...and cut!
*****
Gado: What's wrong with a nurse who can protect her patients? I'm serious. After all you need an awful lot of patience to put up with Yugo...
Yugo:::off screen:: Aw, come on!
Alice: Hmpf!
Yugo:::off screen:: Ally, you know I didn't really mean to hurt your feelings, you just got me so mad...
Director: Let me see now... that's ten dollars of Gado's money for better props.
Gado: It was well worth it.
Director: Twenty dollars of Gado's money... ::Gado glares at him:: Em... er... maybe fifteen?
Yugo:::off screen:: No fair!
Director: And ten more of Yugo's! Cut!
*****
Gado: You're still unrefined, but you've got potential.
Uriko: Unrefined? How dare you!?! ::she jumps on top of his head and gives him a scratch before jumping back to the ground behind him:: I'll have you know that I was taught by Master Jin Long! One of the most refined people there is!
Long:::off screen:: Thank you Uriko.
Uriko: Not a problem.
Shina:::off screen:: Yeah! You tell 'em Uriko!
Gado:::his hands covering the scratch on his forehead:: I think I ought to have my head examined...
Director: Ten dollars Uriko... cut!
*****
Shina: If you want to stop me, then try stopping me with the force!
Gado: But I've only just become a padowan, and I forgot to bring my light sabre!
Shina:::draws a red light sabre:: Then I will make you pay for your mistakes, Muwahahaha!
Director: Ten dollars, courtesy of Miss. Shina Gado... and cut!
*****
Kenji: What do you want? Why did you drag me to a place like this? And what are you doing with the lady in the red mini-skirt!?! Ahhhhh!
Gado: We were supposed to be filming? Oops.
Jenny: Oh dear, I also forgot...
Director: Althought Kenji did not recite the script this incedent is clearly the fault of Mr. and Mrs. Gado who will each contribute ten dollars to the film's funding... Cut!
*****
Gado: Actually, it wasn't you whom I summoned, Kenji. The man I want to see is my future son-in-law, the master of the art of Kenpo...? Hey! Who messed with my script!?!
Long: It wasn't me! ::runs into his trailer. Everyone but Gado (who is too busy staring at his script and fuming) also sees Shina as she whistles and innocently steps into her trailer::
Director:::snickers:: Well I don't suppose we'll ever find the culprit... cut!
*****
Yugo: Hey, don't be so mean. Whatta ya say to a quick one-on-one? Training hasn't been much fun lately 'cause everybody's been beating the crap out of me... hey! Somebody's been screwing with my script!
Alice:::off screen:: And somebody's been messing with my emotions!
Yugo: Ally, I said I was sorry...
Director: I am sorry too, Miss. Alice Nonomura, but ten dollars from your check is going into the film's funding. Cut!
*****
Yugo: Damn! And I just beat this guy the other day! I guess I'm just a little distracted... ::looks pleadingly at Alice who turns her head away:: Please Ally? I really didn't mean it...
Alice: I'll only forgive you on one condition... If you promise not to complain when I follow you everywhere and give me the key to your sock drawer!
Yugo:::-.-000:: Uh, never mind then...
Director: By the time this is all over we're going to be able to go on a cruise thanks to Yugo's big mouth! ::everyone except Yugo cheers:: Cut!
*****