"Argh!" she growled, delivering her most powerful punch to the punching bag. A huge rip tore through it's center and the sand started to fall out as she punched it more. Doesn't he care about me at all? He could have at least said something about it! She gave the punching bag a few more hits, spilling more sand on the floor. Then she realized that if he had said something about it she would have objected. Still, that's no reason to run off and do something like that! He should have told me! The door creaked behind her and Long entered the room.
"Go away Long, I need some time alone." she ordered, not even turning to look at him.
"But, I thought..." he began, but she interrupted him.
"Just go away!" she repeated, launching a few good kicks at the dying bag. She heard his footsteps quietly echoing off the wooden floor as he walked over to her. "Didn't I say...?" He dug his fingers into her back and gently massaged, trying to ease the tension. She sighed and relaxed her back, allowing him to continue his work. You can always make me feel better Long. "What are you doing here?" she moaned, trying to relax her sore back.
"Sometimes when people don't want company is the time they need it most." Long replied, laying a soft kiss to the right of her neck while massaging down her back. He kissed her there for a minute, and then inched slowly across her neck to the other side. Once he got there she turned around and met his lips with her own. They kissed gently for a minute and then stepped back to look into each other's eyes. "I'm sorry Jannu... If there were anything else I could do..." She slipped one hand over his mouth.
"You've already done enough, thank you... tiger." She took her hand off his mouth and they smiled at each other. "I'll be just fine. You can't blame me for being upset though, can you?"
"Not at all," he assured her. "your father really ought to have known better than to do something like that."
"Yeah." she agreed. "He really pisses me off sometimes... And I just don't know about that lady, she really bothers me."
"What about her bothers you the most?" Long inquired.
"I don't know, I guess the way she is always hanging off my father..." Shina admitted. "and that she looks like a slut. I mean, does he even really care about anything besides her looks and how well she performs in bed?"
"I don't think he would have married her if he didn't." Long stated. Shina thought he must be joking at first, but when she looked into his eyes she had no doubt that he wasn't.
"You really think so? Well... I guess I hope so. I sure don't want my Dad marrying someone just because... but if he does like her for something else too, then I have no idea what he sees in her."
"I'm sure he has no idea what you see in me either." Long pointed out. "In fact, neither do I sometimes..."
"Why not?" she asked. "That's easy, you're just so... uh... Well, you're always trying to put other people before yourself, you know? You're really kind-hearted."
"Am I?" he wondered. "I never really thought..."
"You see? That's my point." she persuaded. "You don't even think about it, you just try and help people. I really admire that about you... I guess because sometimes I feel like I'm a little selfish."
"Why? You must be one of the nicest people I've ever met."
"Really? You mean that?"
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't." he replied. "You are the first person I've met who ever really liked me, just because... I'm me." He blushed a little. "Er... I'm sorry about..."
"There's nothing to be sorry about." she interrupted, kissing him again. They spent a few minutes enjoying each other's warm embrace before they separated and looked into each other's eyes. "Anyway, I feel a lot better now."
"I'm glad I could do something to help you." Long replied, smiling.
"I'm bored now though... and you wouldn't fight me would you?"
"Are you joking?"
"I thought you would say something like that. I meant a friendly match, just to test each other's skills but..."
"I'm really not interested in fighting right now." Long said. "Brings back too many bad memories." But I have been hiding from my memories for so long... maybe it is time I faced them.
"Oh? Well I guess that's a good reason." Shina agreed. "At first I thought you were just scared because you're out of practice, but..."
"I would never be scared of you."
"You're pretty brave for someone who doesn't want to fight. A lot of people have good reason to be scared of me, you know?"
"The fact that I dislike it would not stop me from defending myself if I had to." Long explained. "And you are no threat to me."
"Is there anyone you are afraid to fight?" Shina wondered. "Are you afraid of my father? You act like it sometimes."
"I'm not really afraid to fight him, or afraid he would kill me..." Long corrected. "but I certainly have no desire to get into a serious fight with him. Plenty of reasons for that."
"Yeah, it's never a good idea to get into a fight with my Dad." Shina conceded. "But I could go easy on you..."
"I would not want you to..." Long answered, shaking his head. "But I am not ready to fight anyone right now, playfully or otherwise."
"Aw... no fair!" she whined. "Oh well, I guess I can wait. Someday we're gonna have a nice little match."
"You think so..." Long disagreed. "Well... we shall see."
"Damn right!" she agreed. "Anyway, you can go do whatever you want, make yourself at home. I'm gonna practice a bit more."
"I fail to understand why fighting seems to be so pleasureable for you."
"Uh... well... I just like it that's all."
"But isn't that your job? Don't you ever tire of it?"
"No, not really." she replied. "When I fight it makes me feel strong and powerful."
"It is not so with me." Long admitted. "It never was. If anything..."
"What?"
"If anything, my skills in the Martial Arts turned me into a monster."
"But that wasn't your fault!" Shina portested.
"But it was my decision." Long argued.
"But if you made a different decision you would be dead right now!"
"And do you have any idea how many more people would be alive?" he demanded angrilly. "I have the blood of thousands of innocent people on my hands!" He looked into her eyes and realized that he had snapped at her, he felt terrible about it and kneeled down on the floor. "I beg your forgiveness..."
"It's alright." she interrupted, scratching that the back of her neck. "You can get up from there you know."
"I... guess it is obvious." he mumbled, standing back up. "I do fear to fight, because I am still not sure whether I can control my desire to kill."
"You desire it?" Shina asked, confused.
"When I am fighting... Jannu..." he struggled to explain. "When I was an assassin every fight ended in death. I cannot forget it, no matter how hard I try. And when I fight I am always afraid I will lose myself in battle, and end up... killing. I never want to kill again."
"I'm sorry Long."
"It's not your fault. This is my problem, this is my life."
"Long... it doesn't have to be."
"I know, but..." how can I ever hope to put this behind me? I don't know what I can do.
"Long? You wanna go sit on the couch and talk for a minute?"
"I... don't think it would help me. But maybe if you want to."
"I do." Shina stated, grabbing his hand and heading for the door. "Come on... maybe we can talk about something else if you want."
"I feel like I've already said too much." Long revealed, following her out the door and into the next room.
"Then... maybe I'll tell you a little about me?" she suggested, leading him towards the couch in the front room. "What do you think? I mean, you don't have to listen if you don't want..."
"I would listen to anything you felt you needed to tell me." Long replied.
"Thanks." she said, smiling as she sat down on the couch. He sat down next to her and she thought about what she was going to say. "Uh... I guess the reason I'm a mercenary and enjoy what I do is because of my Dad, you know?" Shina explained. "He always seemed to enjoy what he was doing. I always looked up to him, ever since he brought me here. I really don't remember anything else before I was with him, must have gotten amnesia or something. But, I always thought I wanted to be just like him... and now look at me! I got his style down pretty well now don't I?"
"Right down to the hair." Long agreed.
"He was pretty pissed off when I became a mercenary, but I didn't care! I said to hell with all his demands that I quit... and so we kinda drifted apart for awhile. But I never quit thinking of him as my Dad, I don't think I ever will. Although he can be a major pain in the @$$ sometimes..."
"I understand." Long sympathized.
"But how can you?" Shina wondered. "Your father wasn't like mine... er, sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up, but..."
"But I do understand what it is like to have family." Long interrupted. "Perhaps they are all gone now, but I had them once..."
"I'm sorry Long. I'm so inconsiderate sometimes..."
"It's alright." he assured her. "I know you weren't trying to purposely hurt me. Besides, being alone does not bother me. I am used to it. Even when they were there, most of my life was lived alone."
"Long, that's so sad!"
"But it is true." he admitted. "And it is not a terrible fate. I would rather live alone than around people who don't want me."
"But... you don't have to live that way." Shina protested. "At least, not anymore."
"And who would I live with then?" he wondered. "You, Jannu? I hardly think your father would approve."
"Why not?" she demanded. "After all it's not like we haven't got plenty of room in this place."
"Nonsense, I am doing well enough on my own, and my presence here is causing enough tension already."
"I don't care about that."
"I know."
"Uh... anyway..." Shina mumbled, trying to change the subject. "I guess that when I'm out fighting it gives me a sense of accomplishment, I feel like I'm doing something important for someone. And maybe sometimes I am." Long nodded politely to show that he was listening. "What is it with you and being alone anyway?" she asked. "I mean... you weren't really close with your family. As an assassin you lived alone, and then you went and turned into a hermit... and now?"
"You might not understand... but, I would rather bare the ceaseless ache of lonesomeness than risk my broken heart again."
"Oh, Long..." Shina sighed, she took his face between her hands and brought it to hers, kissing all his fears away. I'm going to change your mind, open up your heart to me. He delicately returned her kiss and she slowly opened both their mouths, eager for another taste. A soft groan escaped his throat as their tongues met. She wraped her arms around his back and fell back on the couch, dragging him along. They kissed there for a moment, the weight of his body pressing against hers. Then he broke off to talk to her, but she spoke first.
"Long?"
"Yes?"
"I..." she blushed a little. "I love you."
"Wha...?" she reached up to slide a finger over his gaping mouth.
"I don't care what you think. I love you anyway." She slowly removed her finger from his mouth. "So... you're not going to complain?"
"How could I do something like that?" he wondered, smiling and running his fingers through her bangs. "I could never complain about something as beautiful as your love." He proved his sincerity by kissing her softly on the cheek. He continued kissing, moving over the edge of her lips and then following her jaw down to her neck. Once he got there he opened his mouth and sucked up her skin, feeling the movement of her windpipe as she sighed. He kissed her there for a moment and she snuck her hands under him, caressing his muscled chest through the fabric of his shirt. Then he went back up to her mouth and kissed her with his tongue.
"So... I'll call you tomorrow after I get off work then." Long promised, walking out the front door. "Unless you get off work later than I do, in which case I'll just have to wait." Shina followed closely behind him and closed and locked the door after her. Long looked up into the sky as he walked towards the driveway. The setting sun in the distance drained the light color of blue from the sky and illuminated the clouds in myriad shades of orange, pink, and purple.
"Beautiful isn't it?" Shina asked. "That's one of the few things I think is beautiful about this place..." She stood next to him and stared up at the sky for a moment.
"Well, we'd best get going." Long decided. "I do have to prepare for work tomorrow."
"Yeah, I know. I have to work too." she complained. "Although I guess I could quit if I really wanted to... I'm not sure that I do though."
"It has been a lovely weekend." Long thanked her, bowing graciously. She smiled at him and lead him over to her car, which he seemed a little hesitant to get in.
"I promise I won't crash into anything, okay?" she teased, slipping into the driver's seat.
"Very reassuring." he muttered, climbing into the passenger seat. "I just hope that maniac in the red convertible isn't out again tonight."
"I wouldn't challenge him again anyway." Shina decided, inserting the key and revving up her engine. "He's gotta have some kinda NOS system in that thing... what a rotten trick to play on people! Still, I'm pretty sure he could get arrested for drving that thing on normal roads."
"I hope he gets caught then." Long agreed as they pulled out of the driveway.
"I don't." Shina disagreed. "I'm gonna get one of those things for my car, then we'll just see who wins!"
"You are hopelessly stubborn, you know?" Long asked.
"Yeah, that's right, I never give up!"
"I realized that."
"So what? It's better than giving up. Sometimes I think you give up to easilly."
"Oh, really? And what have I given up on?" he wondered.
"I probably shouldn't say..." she replied, studying the road ahead.
"No, go ahead and say it. I am curious as to what you think I have given up on."
"Well..." she though about it for a minute, and then carefully phrased her words. "Sometimes it seems like you have given up on life... or at least, on yourself."
"If you had said that to me the first or second time we met you would have been right." Long admitted. "Right now I am trying not to give up... but it is not easy."
"Just hang in there tiger." Shina said. "I know you're got a lot on your mind... I think you will eventually get over it though. And if your ever feeling down, just remember how much I love you."
"Jannu, I..." You have given me so much hope. I wish there was something I could do... "Thank you Jannu." She turned to give him a smile before focusing her gaze back on the road ahead.
How strange, she thought. I've never heard of anyone thanking someone for loving them before... but I think I like it. Although I have to wonder... She glanced over at him for a moment, but he was looking out the window. I know he is uncertain right now, but when he figures himself out, will he love me? I think he will...
Long sighed and stared out into the rapidly darkening sky, watching as the stars blinked on one by one. If only I could take all the hope she had given me and turn it into something more substantial... he wished. I think I am ready now, and I am certainly willing to change my life. But... where lies the path that I must follow? What must I do in order to become one with myself? He stared up and the stars, searching their endless beauty as well as all the thoughts in his own mind, for his answer.