"Do you have any recollection of where we left off last time?" he asked.
"Um..." the younger man thought about it. "Well... no. It has been awhile."
"In that case feel free to discuss whatever comes to mind."
"Long... um, I know you're a busy man and all..."
"I truly am sorry for my absence, Kenji." he apologized. "The reasons for it are a bit complicated however, so if you don't mind..."
"I just thought that this was important."
"It is important." he agreed, reassuring the young man with a brief pat on the shoulder. He nodded at the reassurance, certain that he wouldn't have been neglected if there wasn't an important reason.
"What did it feel like when you killed someone?" Kenji wondered. "I can remember when I was under their control and killing people... just looking into their eyes as they died and not feeling anything at the time, but now..."
"It really depends on the point in time." Long expounded. "At first it was very painfull... I'm not entirely certain that I'm able to convey the full force of the feelings that plagued my haunted soul the first few times I killed. After years of such killing the pain was so intense that it burned it's self away, leaving nothing but an empty, hollow shell. Killing became something regular, mundane and expected. I felt nothing then, killing was my duty. Perhaps, this was how you felt while under their mental influence."
"Yes..." the younger admitted, purposely trailing off in remembrance of the cold detachment he had felt while killing. "I guess that what bothers me the most lately is the guilt." he admitted. "I don't even have any idea how many people I killed while I was... brainwashed... let alone who any of them were. They could have been anyone, old or young people, all innocent people who didn't deserve it. And they could've even been people that I loved, and I wouldn't have ever known." He ended on a sad note, staring out to the left, over to the closed doors that lead to the rest of the house. "I could've killed Yugo... I almost did."
"And that still haunts you." he stated. It wasn't a question, he knew. "Yet he is still here, is he not? You didn't kill him, you hardly even harmed him."
"Yes, but... just the thought that I could have... it scares me more than anything else I could imagine." Long laughed at the statement. Not really so much a full-blown laugh but more of a melancholic chuckling sound that barely escaped his throat. "Is that... funny?" Kenji wondered, staring up at him with look of shock.
"Nothing said here ever leaves this room." he requested. "Are we in agreement on this?"
"Oh..." the young man mumbled, a bit confused. "Well, uh... sure. I guess..."
"I did kill the ones I loved, Kenji." he began. "With my own accursed claws I took their lives..." He looked down at his hands as thought he feared they would sprout fur and the nails would grow, turning into the claws of a monster once more. "My miserable excuse was in nowise comperable with yours. No one messed with my head or screwed up my way of thinking. No one else was responsible for the blame. What brought their downfall was my own weakness, my own damnable lust for blood, the insatiable rage I felt towards all of humanity." He paused for a moment, his voice wrought with self-hatred. The young man gently laid one hand on his arm, in an effort to comfort.
"Who were they?" he quietly asked, unwilling to disturb the man further if he wasn't ready to answer.
"My sister... and my mother." he paused for a moment, sniffling. "I loved them... and I killed them." He ended there, unable to go any further. He didn't want to remember their deaths, their blood covering his body, their torn and mangled appearance after he'd sliced through their flesh. But he couldn't help it, the memory was as inevitable as the rising of the sun each new day. It always came back, burning into his obscured memory and scorching the life out of his wounded soul.
"How did that happen?" Kenji wondered, unable to fully comprehend how someone could kill their own family even with full possession of their sanity.
"I was so angry... that was my weakness." he explained. "I hated this man so much... I was willing to do anything to end his miserable life. I morphed into my beast form, and went into a senseless rage, tearing at anything that got in my way. I looked right into their faces as my own claws took their lives, and yet I still didn't see..." he stopped there, the mental images coming back to him again. He remembered all too well how everything in his vision had turned red in anger. He remembered seeing their faces through the crimson sheen as they stared up at him, their faces registering first shock, and then pain. He remembered spilling their blood, in his mind it was everywhere. Coating his claws, covering their dying bodies, painting the ground and staining the walls and the furniture. Their blood had physically left his hands so many years ago, yet he could never seem to cleanse it from his mind.
"Who was this man that you hated so much?"
"He was my father." Long admitted, a single tear trailing down his face. To Kenji it all made sense now. He had heard before that Long's father had been the one who turned him over to Tylon in the first place. Hence, his father had been responsible for his entire life as an assassin. And wasn't Long's father also the man who first discovered the beast gene in the first place? Wasn't he the one that made the entire Zoanthrope problem possible? He could see many reasons for hating the man, and wanting him dead. If only Long hadn't gone so out of control... "At first, I used to think that it was because of my beast form that I went into that rage." he continued. "I thought that for a long time, but afterawhile I came to realize that I couldn't use my beast form as an excuse anymore. It was my anger that killed them. It was my own fault I let myself get out of control. I am the only one to blame for their deaths."
He started sobbing again, completely losing control of his emotions. Suddenly he felt arms flung around him, and a little weight on top of his chest. He looked down to see Kenji there, hugging him tightly and looking up into his face with tears lining his own cheeks. "I'm so sorry..." the boy offered with a sniffle. He cuddled up to the elder man, nuzzling cheeks with him. Long returned the embrace, wrapping his arms gently around the young man and leaning further into the comforting warmth of his body. He pulled back bit, and before either of them knew what was going on their lips were touching. It started out as such a sweet and innocent kiss, soft and gentle, full of love and compassion. Yet it's comfort was so tempting, and the emotions felt were so intense.
Long leaned into the kiss, reveling in the wonderfull feeling pouring into his tortured soul. Perhaps the young man's touch was too addictive to resist, but before he knew it he'd slipped his tongue into Kenji's mouth. To his great surprise the boy replied with his own movements, stroking, and caressing the invading appendage with his own tongue. The kiss became wild and passionate then, senseless and desperate as though plummeting to it's own demise. Their grasps tightened around each other, the heat of their bodies pressing together in suffocating closeness. They both knew it was wrong, but everything felt so right.
Yugo was down in the study, going through a few books and searching for some kind of inspiration for his next big speech. He knew what was going on above him, or so he thought. Long came over now and then to have talks with Kenji, and since talking with another assassin about his troubles seemed to improve his attitude Yugo didn't mind at all. He was usually more than happy to go about his own business (which he had plenty of anyway) while the two former assassins had their quiet private chat up in the room above. He searched through a few volumes but eventually gave up, it was just one of those days when he didn't seem to feel right about anything. Finally he decided to wander into the kitchen and make himself something to eat. He walked up the stairs and paused at the door for a moment, hearing their voices and not wanting to interrupt anything important.
He waited untill a few seconds after their voices had died down to enter the room. he opened the door carefully and climbed up the last step, turning his head to check on them. He couldn't believe what he saw, his mouth fell open, agape in shock, his breathing completely stood still and he could've swarn that even his heart skipped a beat at the sickening sight before his eyes. There they were, out in plain sight, right in his view on the couch. Kissing passionately and holding each other like lovers. What is going on!?! his silent thoughts demanded. He was so shocked that he had to take a great gasp of air, even to be able to speak. He was heard, and they stopped kissing, Kenji turning around to discover him gasping from the doorway.
"Y-yugo?" The young man asked, his elder companion looked up from the boy to the figure in the doorway.
"Oh shit..." the latter mumbled.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?!" Yugo demanded, having finally regained the ability to speak.
"Now listen..." Long began, getting up from his spot on the couch and holding his arms out as though to prove himself helpless or warn Yugo not to do anything stupid. "I can explain this." He couldn't really though, he just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.
"What have you done to Kenji!?!" his enraged guardian demanded, taking a stomp or two towards the one who had violated his trust.
"Yugo... please, don't!" Kenji cried, throwing his arms up as thought to hold him back. Yugo paused to look at his beloved for a moment.
"Kenji... what did this man do to you?" he turned his gaze back to the offender. "You were trying to seduce him, weren't you!?!"
"I was attempting nothing of the sort." the Chinese man replied defensively. "Listen Yugo, this was all just a big mistake."
"It was a mistake alright!" the boxer yelled back, curling up one of his fists and raising it for a punch.
"No, Yugo!" Kenji cried, flinging himself between them. "Please, don't! H-he's right. It was just a mistake." Yugo stopped again his attention diverted from the man to the boy, Long took the opportunity to sneak backwards towards the front door.
"Kenji, why are you sticking up for him?"
"It... it's my fault too Yugo." the boy admitted with a sob. "I-It's as much my fault as it is his, I even started it." His guardian gasped at the revelation, letting his fist drop back down to his side.
"But Kenji..." the fore-mentioned started into Yugo's eyes as he talked. He would never forget the look he saw there, the heartbreaking look that came just before his eyes started tearing up. "...why?" He would hear that question echoed in his mind for years to come.
"I'm so sorry Yugo." he cried, clinging to his true lover. "I-I don't even know how it happened... I..." He started sobbing so hard it was difficult to talk. "I'm so-so sorry..." Yugo smiled grimly and held the boy to his chest, still unable to believe what he had just said. He looked up at the doorway for a moment and realized that Long was gone, he'd gotten himself out of there as quickly as possible. But I'll track the bastard down... he promised himself. Nobody does this to Kenji, nobody!
"It's alright Kenji, he'll pay for this."
"No, Yugo... It's my fault." he insisted, deciding to take the entire blame on himself. "If... you're going to punish someone then punish me. It's all my fault."
"How is it your fault Kenji?" Yugo wondered, doubting that he would have anything to say to prove it.
"I... hugged him and... I started kissing him. It was all my fault."
"But why, Kenji?" he asked, finally starting to absorb the statement. "Don't you... love me anymore?"
"YUGO!!!" Kenji cried, heartbroken by the question. He clung to his lover as though he'd die if he let go. "No, Yugo..." he continued at a staggering whisper. "I could never not love you."
"But then why?" he persisted, struggling to understand. "If you love me then... how could you do something like that?"
"I don't know..." he whimpered. "I don't know... we were just talking..."
"It's alright Kenji." Yugo said, petting his head in order to comfort him. He didn't say anything about it, but he was still firmly convinced that the matter was, at least in some respect Long's fault. Afterall he was the elder one, taking advantage of a minor. Even if what Kenji said was true and Long didn't start anything, he still should've been responsible enough to back off. "Everything's gonna be okay." he continued, stroking the boy's head while he covered his chest in tears. "Kenji... I have to talk with Long." Kenji looked up at him with bleary red eyes, wiping some of the tears from them in order to see. "I'm not going to hurt him, I just want to talk. I need to know why this happened."
"I... I guess... I can't blame you... for wanting to know." the boy reluctantly acquiesced.
"Kenji, you stay here, okay?" he requested, getting up from the couch. "I'll be right back."
"Promise me you're not going to hurt him, Yugo."
"Kenji..." Yugo protested.
"Promise me!" he insisted, looking up at Yugo through his bleary eyes and tear-soaked face. The boxer smiled softly at the young man, and slowly nodded his head.
"Alright Kenji, I promise." But it doesn't mean that I'm not gonna threaten to hurt him...
"Be back soon Yugo." Kenji pleaded, tugging on one of his pants legs.
"I will." he assured before walking slowly out the door. He closed it carefully after him, but once he got outside it was a different matter. He took his beast form right away and tracked the man's scent as quickly as he could. He tracked it up untill he had gotten into a car, but even then he could follow the smell of the car through the streets. Damnit. he thought. He's gonna be way ahead of me. I could use my motorcycle if only I knew where he was going... Then he thought up an idea. Surely someone would know where Long was, even if he wasn't at home he would run to someone he could trust and talk to, wouldn't he? If that was so that it would probably be someone that Yugo knew, or at least someone he'd heard about. He morphed back into his human form and decided to make a few phone calls. When he reached the phone the first person he called was Alan Gado. If anyone knew Long's whereabouts then Gado would definately be able to find out. So Yugo called and told him about the shocking incident and he promised to get on it right away. Next he called Gado's daughter Shina, hoping to get her help as well, but she wasn't at home. Then he called Uriko and asked her if she'd seen her Master around anywhere. She hadn't of course, not anytime recently. Then he called everyone else he could think of, to no avail. Finally he called Gado back, wondering if he'd found out anything.
"Yes, we heard that a tall Chinese man was spotted at the other end of town, driving like a mad-man..." his old friend informed him.
"Where, where!?!" Yugo cried imaptiently.
"Around 34th street, but we're not even sure..." That was all Yugo heard because he was already on his way back home to pick up his bike and go riding into town. Once he got there he went straight to the garage, hopped on his bike, and drove on out.
After Kenji had distracted Yugo, Long crept silently to the door, opening it almost noiselessly and closing it the same way. Hopefully, they wouldn't even realize he was gone just yet. He ran back to his car and took off driving as quickly as he could with no idea where he was going. What have I done? his conscious screamed as he drove on. I've become some kind of child-molesting bastard! A worthless bundle of lust that takes advantage of anyone it can in order to satisfy it's own desires... No! He swerved down backstreets and alleys, not willing to show his face on a more public street. Suddenly he decided where he was going. He was going to see ShenLong, his clone who always seemed to have all the answers. He figured that if ShenLong couldn't tell him what was wrong with himself than no one else could.
So he drove down past the railroad tracks into the bad part of town that his clone usually inhabited. Past shabby looking buildings with bars over the windows, cursing himself all the way for what he'd let happen. At first he tried to convince himself that it wasn't his fault. Kenji had thrown his arms around him, it was his fault. But he wasn't convincing anyone of that least of all himself. It's your latest dark desire... the voice in the back of his head whispered. First you were attracted to Shina and Xion, ten and twelve years under your age, then ShenLong, who despite his looks is really even younger than Kenji. What did you expect would come next, hm?
No, no! the sane part of him replied. I am not attracted to children... I'm not! It was as if the other voice was laughing at him, mocking his feeble attempt to absolve himself from his own blame in the recent event. I'm a child-molesting ass hole, he concluded. He continued down the streets untill he got to the desserted part of town, where the old, broken down carnival stood and the deserted subways ran underneath. He parked somewhere between the two and started frantically calling out ShenLong's name, lacking the energy needed for hunting him down. In the middle of his distressed state his clone walked up right behind him and barely tapped him on the shoulder.
"ShenLong! ... Shen... AHHHH!!! Don't do that!"
"You came looking for me." the man assumed, idly sucking on the butt end of a lit cigarette. "What do you want this time?"
"Shen, I... I've done something terrible."
"Oh really?" he asked, his interest piqued. He smiled. "Tell me all about it then, sex kitten."
"No, no! You don't understand!" Long cried in frustration. "I kissed a little teenage boy!"
"So?"
"So? SO!?! Is that all you can say!?!"
"Yep." Shen replied, taking another drag of his cigarette.
"I never should have come here." his origonal moaned. "I should've driven off a cliff somewhere... I should've ran back to my cave and shut myself up for good!"
"Relax, sit down." his clone ordered, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Tell me exactly what happened and I'll see what I can do for ya."
"I...it..." he stammered, finally collapsing to a sitting position on and ashpault. "We were just talking, that's all. But it got so out of hand."
"How did it go then?" Shen asked, only half interested now. He seemed much more absorbed in finishing his cigarette.
"We were just talking... but maybe that went too far. I was talking about... how I killed my mother and sister and..."
"And you got all emotional?"
"Yes, but that's besides the point! He threw his arms around me... he was just trying to comfort me. I pulled back from his grasp and... I don't know how it happened Shen! We just touched lips somehow, almost unintentionally. It was as if we just drifted together, and then... I put my arms around him... and stuck my tongue into his mouth." Now Long looked visibly sick, his skin paleing at the recollection. Shen chuckled at the look, now thoroughly amused.
"So what? Now you think you're some kind of serial rapist, just for kissing a boy?"
"I am a sick... sick man." he moaned.
"Pssh, big fucking deal."
"I'm some kind of child-molesting psychopath." Long continued, trying to ignore his clone's protests.
"Bullshit." Shen stated, taking the last drag of his cigarette and flicking it into the middle of the street.
"What?"
"First off, he was willing enough if he didn't struggle with you." the clone assumed.
"Well, no..." his origonal admitted. "he even returned my kiss. But that's not the point, Shen!"
"You wanna know what I think?" the red-eyed copy taunted.
"What?"
"I think the little boy couldn't resist you."
"You mean you think that he was attracted to me!?!" Long shook his head in disbelief and confusion. "Ridiculous! He's already got Yugo and..."
"Yugo? You mean that kid that Busuzima brainwashed and used as an assassin for awhile? Yugo was the guy who came and to save him, what was his name... Kenji?"
"Yes..."
"So Kenji likes you then." ShenLong teased.
"Shen, this is not funny!"
"I'm not joking." he added, seriously.
"What are you trying to get at then?"
"You're very attractive Long, whether you realize it or not." he insisted, gazing lustfully over the other's fine physique. "Irresistably attractive sometimes. I don't think anyone could resist your charms, especially a little boy."
"You're sick Shen."
"Glad you noticed." His origonal sighed in frustration and buried his face in his hands. The clone sat besides him in silence, gently massaging the tense muscles in his back.
"Not now Shen..." He moaned, brushing the other's hand off his back. The roar of an engine sounded in the distance. "Do you hear something?"
ShenLong listened to the sound for a moment before replying, "Sounds like a motorcycle, coming this way."
"Oh shit..." he muttered, hiding his face in his arms again. "that's gonna be Yugo."
"Oh... so he's coming after you, ne?"
"You have to hide me, Shen." he pleaded. "Yugo probably wants nothing more than to beat me to a pulp right now for kissing his... sweetheart."
"That might be worth watching." his clone teased.
"Shen!"
"I'm not gonna hide you Long, you did this and you oughtta face up to it, don't ya think? You can't run away from your past all your life. Start standing up to it here." Long looked up into ShenLong's face, considering the words he'd just heard.
"You're right of course." he admitted. "I hate it when you're right! But... I must take responsibility for this."
"It won't be so bad." the other assured, patting him on the back. "If you want I can even do all the talking. You just stand there looking pathetically weak and lost in sorrow like you always do and-"
"I don't think that's the best option Shen." his origonal interrupted, noting that the sounds of Yugo's motorcycle were growing steadilly nearer.
"No?"
"No."
"It could work...
"I really don't see how."
"You'll look so pathetic I'm sure he'll feel sorry for you."
"Shen..." Long protested, the clone snickered.
"Fine then, have it your way. You always do, don't you?"
"Only after you're done playing your mind games with me."
"Aw, honey..." ShenLong moaned, placing one hand on the other's thigh and massaging into it. "You're breaking my heart."
"Impossible!" the elder complained, jumping to his feet and brushing himself off as if to rid himself from the other's germs. "Your heart is made of stone, it's unbreakable."
"You could really hurt someone with words like that." the younger warned. He would have said more, but they were both interrupted as the sounds of the motorcycle got closer and closer. It a matter of moments they could see it coming towards them and Shen got to his feet as well, to confront whoever was coming. By the time it finally pulled to a stop in front of them he could see that his origonal was right, it was exactly who they'd expected it to be, and he didn't look very happy either. Yugo got off his motorcycle, took off his helmet and walked right up to them, confused for amoment about why ShenLong was there, but he shrugged it aside.
"We've gotta talk Long." he mumbled angrilly. "I wanna know exactly what went on in there and you're gonna tell me or else!" he raised his first and gave the other a threatening glance to prove he was completely serious and he meant to have his answers immediately. The aforementioned gave a solemn nod in return.
"Relax bud." ShenLong said, fishing another cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it as thought there weren't a care in the world. "I'm sure nobody here wants trouble, so-"
"I'm not talking to you, so back off!" Yugo growled, glaring at him. ShenLong glared right back, his anger burning inside of him. He would've liked nothing better than to start a fight, but he knew that would only disrupt the order of things, so he restrained himselft his once. Meanwhile Yugo turned his gaze to Long. "I want answers, now!"
"As I said before it was a simple mistake." he quietly answered.
"Bullshit! What the hell was going on!? How long has this been happening behind my back!?!"
"It was a singular incident." Long continued calmly. "We were having an emotional discussion about the pain we had both caused our loved ones, and our emotions got out of hand."
"The pain you caused your loved ones!?! How appropriate!!! Look, I've got an idea, let's cut the small talk and get down to details. Tell me exactly what happened."
"I went into an emotional reconstruction of certain events in my past, and Kenji wrapped his arms around me. Only to comfort me, I'm certain of that." he looked up at Yugo for any reaction, but Yugo just glared back, with an angry look on his face that told him to continue. "But as we separated... we sort of drifted back together. We ended up kissing, the fault for this is on both sides I suppose." he paused there, shaking his head in misery. Yugo gave an impatient growl.
"Anything else!?" he demanded.
"Then I... I slipped my tongue into his mouth." the other reluctantly admitted, hanging his head and shutting his eyes in shame and humiliation. "And he... replied to it, with his own..." he trailed off, unable to describe the rest in words. Yugo moaned, and for his part looked very sick. "We weren't there for long until you walked in on us." Long finished, letting out a relieved sigh since there was nothing more to tell.
"I don't understand what's wrong with you people." Shen complained. "It was just a kiss." Both Long and Yugo glared at him following the statement, though Yugo looked much angrier. "Fine, sorry I said anything."
"I love Kenji." Yugo stated. "That's what's wrong with it! He's mine! Nobody's supposed to touch him but me!" he glared at Long again. "Nobody else is even supposed to look at him!" Long hung his head in shame.
"Nobody belongs to anyone else." ShenLong stated, finishing his cigarette and tossing it aside casually.
"But I love him!" Yugo argued. "He should be mine!"
"Are you married to him?" Shen asked.
"No."
"Then he's not yours is he?"
"Will you knock it off." Long asked, nudging ShenLong's arm. "Yugo doesn't need your shit right now."
"Gee, thanks sex kitten, I couldn't see that myself." his clone sarcastically replied.
"Sex-what!?!" Yugo wondered. "Wait a minute... you two are...!?"
"He's my bitch." ShenLong bragged with a grin, slapping Long's rear. Yugo's face twisted in shock and Long batted Shen's hand away, glaring at him as though he'd become something repulsive.
"Ew..." Yugo groaned.
"How dare you." Long whined, edging away from him. "Didn't you just say something about no one belonging to anyone else!?"
"I was just explaining our relationship, kitten." Shen repied. "No need to get all defensive."
"You can explain it without fondling me!" his origonal protested.
"Look, guys..." Yugo interrupted. "this is really none of my business, so... maybe I'd better get going now." he started backing away towards his motorcycle as the other two watched.
"Yugo, please..." Long interrupted. "I know you have no reason to listen to me, but before you go... all I want to do is apologize to you for what happened. I never intended to lay a finger on Kenji."
"Yeah, well... Don't let it happen again." Yugo replied, giving him a curious glance. "I'll be there to make sure you don't." Long nodded in acceptance of the statement and Yugo got onto his motorcycle and drove off.
"Why were you hanging around with a teenage boy anyway?" ShenLong wondered.
"He was also an ex-assassin who worked for Tylon." Long explained. "Talking about our experiences together was fairly therapeutic, until now..."