| All content of this site is the sole property of Alexis Ryan Souder unless otherwise noted. |
 |
| version: purple star |
 |
| Lost and trembling Uncontrollable sobs Hating myself for not loving you right But wanting to just lay in your bed tonight Wishing for your arms to hold me close Knowing I don’t deserve you Don’t deserve your comfort Cannot be allowed to feel your strength surround me In a blanket of warmth and gentle healing The same song repeats Spins me in circles, spirals of discontent As I plummet toward the depths of my personal hell And I feel my breaking bones crack as I implode and explode simultaneously Hard to believe you can still love me After the suffering I cause Must be hard to believe I still love you After the suffering I’ve caused But I feel it more than words can express Can I ever do right? Will we ever be right? Can I ever make up for the horrors I’ve inflicted upon your delicate soul? Alexis Souder November 1, 2001 |
 |
|
| Other poems from this year: Beautiful Goddess SELF INDULGENT NEUROSIS alone Lost and Trembling How Could I Do This? As One |