That is how my dream had ended. After waking up, I had been so concerned about the strange dream that I had gone to see a shrink. Well, I had spent hours sitting on his couch trying to explain my dream to this quack. I had gone on and on about Skipper, penguins, Bill Clinton, countless cameos, and the strange Mystic Tea. As I finished pouring out all I could remember of the dream, the shrink looked up from his note-pad.
He opened his mouth and said, "Ya, zis is a most peculiar dream. I don't think ve haf shcrrrratched ze surface yet, no?"
I gave him a funny look. "What do you mean, Doc? I told you everything I can remember."
"It is vat you don't remember is vat is important. Ve vill try hypnosis to yog ze memory, ya?" He produced a glass with some strange green liquid. "Drink zis, it vill help mit ze hypnosis."
I drank the liquid. It tasted like... tea? I heared him saying, "Unt now I vill count to zen. Ven I reach zen, you vill be in a deep shleep. Vonce you are ashleep you vill continue mit your dream."
"Now... von... two... unt zree... vor... unt vive... unt zix..."
I was asleep before he reached seven.
Suddenly, I was back in the dream. I soon discovered that everyone in the dream had reached a Zen state of mind! Yes, the perfect state of mind! The mind state that makes things like the following possible:
Boris the Binary Bison standing on his head flawlessly counting to 100 and simultaneously tapping out "I love you" in morse code with his left front hoof.
Among the amazed and astonished onlookers who saw this happening was none other than his favourite fan, Boris Yeltsin, the Communist leader who had become a new convert to Anti-Cheesyism!
This flagrant display of Cheesy behavior infuriated the ordinarily easily-irritated former Russian leader. Now he became incensed and he felt that he had to put an end to Cheesyism. So he danced on his head while tapping out morse code just like his idol. It looks like our Russian friend has been drinking too much of that famous Russian vodka!
We interrupt this story for the following announcement. We wish to apologize for the insinuation that Boris Yeltsin is an alcoholic. Boris Yeltsin is not an alcoholic. In fact, he drinks nothing but Peach Faygo. The writers responsible for spreading false rumors have been sent to a mental institution in Siberia. We now bring you the following educational program sponsored by Peach Faygo.
"It is now time for the Faygo Corn Knitter's Club! That's right, we are going to show you how to use the world's most popular vegetable (not counting carrots of course) to make some of today's most cutting edge fashions. Included among those who wear knitted corn are Ozzy Osbourne, Marilyn Manson and Skipper. It is rumored that Christopher Reeve once wore a frock made from knitted corn but someone ate it so there is no actual proof that he ever owned one."