Aboard the ship were five goats, an orangutang, three ducks, and a horde of pirates. The captain was worried something might happen to his fancy uniform, so he dove overboard, where he was accidently swallowed by a manatee.
The captain lived in the manatee's stomach. Eventually he befriended the manatee and began to call him "Pokey." And Pokey began to call the man "Cap." Pokey told Cap about how he had lost his fin in the Underwater War of '52.
One day, Pokey took Cap to the secret Mermaid's Ball, where they saw an octopus dancing with a squid. Cap stuck his head out of Pokey's mouth for a better look, but some of the mermaids saw him and used their long green hair as a net to capture him and Pokey. They then imprisoned them in a giant clamshell while awaiting the arrival of their queen.
Finally, the Queen of the Deep arrived, surrounded by her bodyguard of sharks. She was riding a huge white seahorse. Atop her head was a tiara of the finest pearls. She raised her enchanted wand and released the prisoners. She told Cap that fate had brought him there because the only way mermaids can have children is with the aid of a virile human male. Cap agreed to do his best to help each and every one of the mermaids.
Meanwhile, a nearby nuclear submarine was getting some rather strange SONAR readings. The crew decided to investigate by launching a mini-sub with five of their crewmates aboard. None of the crew liked these five anyway, because they were always passing gas and this gets very annoying aboard a submarine.
Cap, in the meantime, had gotten through assisting the Mermaids. He was then escorted by two narwhales to a large chamber. In the middle of this room all of his clothing was waiting for him cleaned and pressed.
As Cap dressed, there was a knock at the door. It was a singing telegram from Pokey, warning Cap about the approaching mini-sub. Nobody knew that the mini-sub's regular brand of torpedoes had been secretly replaced with replicas made out of lime Jello.
When the singing telegram was over, Cap decided it was the best song he had ever heard. So he placed a phone call to his cousin, a record company exec. Cap told his cousin that this new musical group, the Wombats, was the greatest thing to come along since the wheel, sliced bread, and Post-Its. But by this time, the mini-sub was already coming into view.
The approaching mini-sub was yellow with a big smiley-face on the front and a cat's tail on the back. Inside were four overrated "scousers" playing the song "Yellow Submarine."
While the denizens of the deep were busy running to their dictionaries to look up the word "scouser," the mini-sub drifted through the area without incident. Later on, however, a hurricane tossed the tiny sub onto the shore of an uncharted desert isle. Upon landing, the captain took off his hat and whacked the first mate with it, saying, "Gilligan, you fool!"
But then suddenly the music stopped, and everyone rushed to find a seat. The only one that remained standing was none other than that famous loser, Bob of the Boy Scouts. He was famous for having lost the famous unloseable game of solitaire hide-and-seek in a tournament in which he was the only competitor, twelve years in a row.
Because of this he was not going to put up with losing any more. He took out his trusty flyswatter and brandished it menacingly at his opponents. They simply gazed at him like he had an extra eyeball.
It was not true that he had an extra eyeball. That was just an ugly rumor. However, he did have an extra head that had been surgically attached in a vain attempt to cheat at solitaire hide-and-seek.
Suddenly a great bubbling noise arose off of the island shore as Cap emerged from the sea and shouted, "WHAT THE HECK ARE 'SCOUSERS'?"
A humongous disembodied voice from above boomed the astonishing answer, "SUN-FRIED SNAILS!"
Cap then sank back down into the sea.
Meanwhile, Bob was arguing with his other head about whether Swiss Cheese was better than Holy Cheese