Meanwhile Fate, the Spider Queen, controller of all destiny, was scratching her eight-eyed head in confusion and flipping through the last few pages of the script. Since she still had a few legs not doing anything, she was also knitting a very nice cloak for Death, her betrothed.
Death kept postponing the wedding because he knew that she had devoured her last husband on the honeymoon. Her last husband had been Logicus, the God of Sense. And since his disappearance, the world makes absolutely no sense.
As for Death, he had been spending too much time romancing Fate and as a result he was way behind on his quota of souls to collect. So he started to think, "Now where can I pick up some easy souls?"
"Ahh," said Death to himself (as he rarely kept company with anyone except the gods), "To Argent I will go. There the depravations of that sinful city will provide me with a plethora of souls for the taking ripe in their depravity. I will sweep through Argent and take the most sinful of their citizenry straight to my realm in the underworld. There for all eternity they will ask, 'Hey! Where did all the slot machines go?'"Thousands of years into their life sentences they would receive an answer. Unfortunately, that answer was "Connecticut," which would not be of much use to them. And during all that time, they would have to endure a continuous downpour of fish! And not just any kind of fish. (even though this sounds bad enough.) It would rain nothing but cat-fish and dog-fish. This is bad because they would always be fighting with each other!
Meanwhile back in the jungle, Archibald Overbite discovered the Lost Kingdom of Gagglewack and immediately became lost himself. The second search party found the first one and joined them as hostages in the Keeper of Words' stockade. King Enuff was trying to find the Royal Restrooms. Queen Fuschia and her conspirators had fallen asleep, and Bonzo had taken the opportunity to slip off into the jungle to try to recruit some REAL troops.
Bonzo came across a parrot who loved to gossip, so he told it to pass the word that a revolution was coming.
The parrot flew into an elephant's ear and whispered, "The Queen's monkey says the animals are revolting. Pass it on."
The elephant went up to a nearby hippo and said, "The queen's a monkey. She says the animals are revolting. Pass it on."
The hippo said to a giraffe, "The queen of the monkeys hates animals. Pass it on."
The giraffe said to a rhino, "Clean donkeys ate Samuel. Pass it on."
The rhino said to a lioness, "Three zebras killed Simba."
The lioness rolled over onto her back and lazily said, " OH PULEASE!"
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the cowboy with the ripped shirt and our young friend Carlos were hiding in a cave in order to stay out of the rain. However they were not afraid of getting wet. They were afraid of being rained on by sardines. CANNED sardines.
Carlos rubbed the large bump on his forehead and said, "Wow, those cans really hurt." The cowboy nodded and continued dancing an Irish Jig while watching his feet move.
Suddenly a white tiger-striped skunk-woman with very large scent glands walked into the cave. She said, "Hi, I'm Zig-Zag and I'm a porn-star." This caused the cowboy's feet to tangle together and he came crashing to the ground.
This created an avalanche. The skunk woman ran away, never to be seen again. Carlos and the cowboy ran for their lives.
They were almost run down by a Formula One racing-car driven by none other than Mercury, the God of Speed.