| PRINGLE DROPS A BOMBSHELL (on us all): A TRUE STORY (Some names have been changed to protect the innocent.....we hope you can infer them) |
| (BEC, PATRICK, DAVID, TOM and PRINGLE are sitting at a table at the Clovelly Beach Sea Salt Cafe, and a WAITRESS is taking their order) WAITRESS: So what would you like to order? PRINGLE: I'll have an iced water thanks, with....(hesitantly, checking his pockets)...a slice of lemon. PATRICK: Hey Pringle! Chill out! We're paying for you, remember?! PRINGLE: In that case, I'll have the most expensive drink on your menu, served in a live lobster coated in gold. PATRICK: Damn. TOM: (in reference to PRINGLE) He's going to be famous some day. WAITRESS: How come? PRINGLE: (deadly serious) I'm going to be a rock star. WAITRESS: (in jest) Really? I'm going to be an actress! (They talk for some time more. It is painfully obvious they are flirting. The WAITRESS leaves the table, her heart a flutter. Everybody makes pick up signal, except for PRINGLE) DAVID: PHONE NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEC: Haha, haha, SNORT!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOM and PATRICK: Hey! Pick-up! PRINGLE: (sighing, and shaking his head world wearily) I don't do that. PATRICK: What? TOM: So, it's TRUE!!! You ARE GAY!!! BEC: Yeah I could tell from those shoes. PRINGLE: No, I meant I don't "Pick up" at cafes. ALL: Why on earth not?!!!!!! PRINGLE: Because my style is more cool and collected. I just sit back and let the chicks come to me. (There is an awkward silence) BEC: I'M NOT A LESBIAN!!!!!!!!! TOM: We never said you were. (There follows another awkward silence) DAVID: (to PRINGLE) ......hey........pick up! PRINGLE: (Hurriedly) Well, if you MUST know, I'm engaged. ALL: ENGAGED? But to who? I mean whom? PRINGLE: Do you remember your old Violin tutor, "Miss X"? DAVID + TOM: We sure do! PATRICK: No. BEC: HahahahahSNORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRINGLE: Well, I've been doing "Miss X", ALL NIGHT LONG as of late, and I thought it was about time I "sealed the deal", so to speak. PATRICK: I hear ya. BEC: Wow, really, you love each other that much? How romantic. PRINGLE: Well, actually, we've already had a kid. TOM: Born out of wedlock? PRINGLE: Yes. TOM: So he's a bastard. PRINGLE: .........yes, well, I suppose by the dictionary definition, yes. TOM: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! He admitted it! (PRINGLE is visibly irritated, but carries on) PRINGLE:........so really, love had nothing to to with it. BEC: Oh, okay. PRINGLE: Although, LOVE did! BEC: What? PRINGLE: ALEX Love that is. Its the name of our son. I named him after myself, and a tennis score. BEC: Oh my God, I want to marry PRINGLE'S SON??????? PRINGLE: I'd be your father in law! (BEC passes out in a fit of distressed snorting.) PRINGLE: Errrrr.......I've got to go. I'll catch you later. TOM: Go where? PRINGLE: I've got stuff to do... TOM: I'm sure Pringle....(nodding head sarcastically) PRINGLE: No seriously...(his voice begins to shake)...I gotta...ring my students. ALL: Sure thing Pringle! (PRINGLE quickly hurries away) DAVID: Hey! Pringle Picked Up (he clicks and points up)! PATRICK: Right on! TOM: (to waitress) His name is Pringle. Yeah, like the chip. Have you got a pen? I'll give you his number. BEC: Let's go rehearse. PATRICK: Hey Tom how about some "Becks!" TOM: (animantly) I'd LOVE to do her! DAVID: Dude...it's a beer... BEC: Look... PATRICK: Hey dude, we're cool with it. BEC: I'm not a LESBIAN!!!!!!! What can I do to prove it to you?.......oh, gross. (TOM makes movement with hips) TOM: Damn!! (They head back to the house and continue the rehearsal) (CLAIRE pops out) TOM: You're following us. CLAIRE: um.....yeah.... TOM: I love Lucy Murr. |
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