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| Things NOT To Do If You Meet Someone Famous. |
| If you ever have a brush with fame, the following is a list of things NOT to do. The list is complemented by examples of my behaviour during a recent run-in with some A-list Australian stars at the VIP after-party at Carols in the Domain. 1) Do not let the first thing you say to the star be a question about the location of another star (however popular the other star may be). Example: DAVID sees DICKO (Ian Dickson). DAVID: Dicko! Can I take a photo with you? DICKO: (excited about his fans) Yeah, sure. DAVID: Thanks! Do you know where Shannon Noll is? Random girls take the photo for DAVID. DICKO: (seemingly disinterested) I think he’s around somewhere. A similar situation later occurred with someone else when we asked for the whereabouts of the HOFF. 2) If trying to pick-up a hot B-list star, do not ramble about how they are famous. Example: DAVID has just asked HEADLAND CHICK* for a photo. DAVID: Oh my God, you’re famous! HEADLAND CHICK: Yes, I am. DAVID: I can’t believe it! You’re famous! HEADLAND CHICK: Yep. DAVID: You’re so hot! HEADLAND CHICK: Thanks. Peter Haywood takes a photo of DAVID and HEADLAND CHICK. DAVID then kisses HEADLAND CHICK on the cheek. HEADLAND CHICK: Thank-you! How very nice of you! DAVID stumbles off. CHRISTINA: Peter, I want to take you home and destroy you! And here's the start of what then ensued from that remark: 3) Do not tell them how much you love them or how much you love the musical, RENT. Example: DAVID spots CHRISTINE ANU. DAVID: I love your work in Rent! My friends and I saw Rent a few years ago and loved it! And loved you in it! Which role did you play again? (It was so long ago I can’t remember who you played). CHRISTINE ANU: I played Mimi. DAVID: Oh, I love Mimi! (pause) Rent, the movie is out! CHRISTINE: Yes, the whole of the original cast is in it, except for one person. DAVID: I love Rent! 4) Do not accuse them of being gay. Example: DAVID sees HUMAN NATURE GUY* kiss another man on the lips. DAVD: (to HUMAN NATURE GUY) Oh my God, you’re gay!!! HUMAN NATURE GUY: What are you on about? DAVID takes out his camera. DAVID: Can you kiss again? A Final Tip: If in doubt, say nothing. Example: DAVID interrupts NIKKI WEBSTAR to ask her for a photo. BOB takes photo. DAVID stumbles away. DAVID: Free Crownies! Bob, want a Crownie?? A similar thing later occurred with Jennifer Hawkins. *I have since discovered that HUMAN NATURE GUY is Toby Allan and HEADLAND CHICK is Sasha from the TV show Headland (aka Rachael Taylor). Against the spirit of this website to not provide photos after recounting a brush with fame, here is a photo of me and Dicko: I think Dicko has lost some weight. Maybe I should've told him that instead. |
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