Part 4
You may be thinking you can avoid the topic that the two of you work together. You may feel slick enough to gloss over it all together. Let me tell you, it will come up and like everything else in life, it is necessary to be prepared. Generally all the conversations involve the same few aspects. How you choose to answer to each "problem" will determine if you are going to be getting action or the boot. Ultimately, your mark will want to be re-assured of the same things that you did in step 1. Below is a chart of the five most likely objections to getting involved with a co-worker and the pivotal responses to address each one.
Objection Response
"What if other people find out?" "No one needs to know what we choose to do with our personal time. Why should we allow the fact that we work together prevent something that could be very special."
"What happens if doesn't work out?" "We have both been in relationships that didn't work out. The truth is most people I have dated remain my best friends to this day. Either way we seem to win!"
"What if management finds out?" "I understand your concerns, but really don't see it as a problem. As long as we act professional at work there shouldn't be any issue. Even if they do, you are worth the risk."
"How will this affect our work relationship?" "We are both adults and understand we have a job to do when we're at work. In fact, this may enhance our work flow because we don't have to spend half the day flirting anymore."
"Will we be able to act the same as we did before?" "See answer above"
By having all the answers and making light of the situation you can turn a hostile scenario in your favor by appearing to share the same concerns. Throwing in a few compliments never hurt either, even if they aren't true! As long as you demonstrate that you have thought this out and are mature enough to handle the repercussions of your actions you will be in excellent shape. After putting all concerns aside, you should order a round of shots and enjoy the rest of your night because we won't be able to help you until the following Monday!
Step 8: Monday with your mark
Each step to this point has been important but none bears the relevance of this next step. One wrong move the next day and everything you have worked towards for weeks may be ruined. Bringing candy and singing odes will end both your SOR and your employment with your company, in addition to making you very pathetic. The next Monday you should be sweet, endearing, cute, but not overbearing. You may be wondering if it is possible to wrap all these traits into one person for a whole day. This task may be more difficult to pull off then a white person winning the Boston Marathon, but it is possible.
Stop by to see your mark about two-thirds the amount of times you would in a normal day. This will let them know you were not in it for a quickie but will not make them fearful each moment they look up you will be there looming over them. Avoid all conversations about what the two of you did together; instead pretend you did not even see each other during the weekend. Ensure your voice is loud enough for you both to be heard talking about what you did separately during the weekend to throw off any suspecting co-workers.
Phone calls and e-mail are both a good tool to talk to your mark, if you want to get fired. Companies generally have policies that allow them to listen to phone calls and read your e-mail. Unless you work for a phone sex line, you may want to avoid steamy phone calls to your mark at all costs. There is little worse then getting caught talking dirty on the phone instead of getting busy in the copy room.
The ultimate goal of the following Monday is to demonstrate to your mark that work can be normal and you can maintain an outside of work relationship. After a few days of normalcy you should ask your mark out again. How you choose to engage them is your decision, but the following Wednesday would be the perfect time to make your move. This shows you are not too anxious but that you want to make plans before they establish alternate activities for the weekend.
Seeing that this will be the second date, you are now responsible for yourself. Ensure you get as much action on this date as you did on the first date to keep the momentum alive. You have now paved an excellent path to the ultimate payoff, Step 9.