SHOWTIME

Two men enter, one man leaves.


The Road to the Apocalypse Champion

Buffy


Results

Buffy 80(2), Spike 80(1)

You may be saying to yourself, Hey, they both have 80, that's a tie! My answer, hell yeah. That's why I've been imploring three voters every week to cast a deciding vote in every contest should it go to a tie. I started working on this thing before the last tv season was over. It's been active since the third week of June if you count the playin votes. We're finally at the end and all I can say is "Thank Joss!" I wouldn't do it if it wasn't fun for me most of the time, but I'm happy to see an end. And now that the Tiebreakers have tasted real power, I better close this baby down before they try to end the world or something. But something I've never wanted to see the end of is... can you guess? Ah, you got it on the first try. Comments. Really.

Slayer v Vampire... the way it ought to be I love both these characters immensely, but, I love Buffy just a little bit more. This time she finally succeeds in dusting Captain Peroxide--which makes her feel all superior. After a few mintues of reflection though her inferiority complex kicks in and she chides herself because she hadn't wanted their "dance" to end. - imp

There where only 3 individuals in this contest who had even a shot of shaking my loyalty to Spike; and Faith, Connor, and Tara all went down in the earlier rounds. So here, at the very end, I re-affirm my allegiance to the Platinum Destroyer. - Doug

Here we go... Despite the fact that the unwashed masses have proven that I can't trust them to do the right thing, I'm giving you all one more chance. Buffy's kicked Spike's cold, dead ass so many times that it's getting kinda sad. Whether he had a chip, a soul, or none of the above, he was never able to put one over on Buffy. Maybe it was due to sublimated feelings, as some have said. But maybe, just maybe, it's because Buffy is just generally better than him. Heck, even Buffy's mom can take Spike. The evidence is on the table: Spike simply can't take Buffy, no matter how hard he tries or how many times he appears naked in a season. By this fight's end, Spike will be blowin' in the wind, dirtying car windows throughout the land, while Buffy goes back to her European vacation. - ApOpHiS

Sorry Spike, no contest for me it's all about Buffy - Rufus

Remember how I said I could never vote against Spike? Well, there's an exception to every rule. I don't think I need to tell you all why Buffy would, erm, come out on top in this match. She's Buffy. Thats all I can say. I doubt Spike would mind losing to her anyway. - Alison

Can there be any real question about this one? Can Spike even hope to make Buffy flinch? Can we all line up to sing "Rest in Peace" together as Buffy spikes Spike over the net and deep into the dirt? No matter what has happened over the last 7 seasons, the tears and giggles and snide comments, the show was always about Buffy and her beloved Scoobs. The occasional Johnny-come-lately might have given Buffy an annoying fight or two, but I would be betraying everything I loved about the show and dishonoring the memory of that first magic that caught me back in 1997 when I first tuned into the show if I voted against Buffy. Throughout this series, I've consistently voted for the original four Scoobies every time, and now will cast one last vote for the heroine of the show....
Buffy enters the ring, calm, assured, happy. Europe's been good to her. Amsterdam was good to her. Now she's back to defend her title of Vampire Slayer. Spike stands warily in the other corner, remembering how often he had been pimpslapped by Buffy. He remembers that even when he fought Buffy to a standstill -- both times -- he was never really winning. The wisdom that comes with getting your ass kicked repeatedly has helped him to realize that this fight is futile. If Joyce hadn't hit him over the head way back when, Buffy would have simply found some other way out. Even when he was wearing a ring that made him invulnerable, Buffy still managed to take him down, and made it look easy. In the midst of these musings, he hears the starting bell and looks up. Buffy is looking at him. When she sees that he is returning her look, she simply smiles and crosses her arms. Spike may be a tad obtuse, but he's nobody's fool when it comes to self-preservation. With a quick bow, he leaps out of the ring. The last thing we see is a bobbing glowing greast ball of peroxide white dashing up the darkened aisle and out of the arena.
Silence. Buffy steps into the center of the ring and looks around as if searching for something. Nobody dares to make a sound. A small movement over on one side of the ring catches everyone's attention. As they watch, Xander, Willow and Giles clamber into the ring. Xander, being a perfect gentleman, holds the ropes open for Willow and Giles. Buffy smiles again as the other three original Scoobies approach her and hug her. Wild applause finally breaks, whistles and stomps and hoots and bravos! filling the air. With the most brilliant smile yet, Buffy breaks away from her friends to bow to the audience.
Somewhere in L.A., a man sits in a darkened penthouse suite far above the streets. He is watching something on TV. In the dim glow of the screen, we see him smile ever-so-slightly. Suddenly, a movement causes him to glance startedly over to his right. He sees Spike standing there, smoking an ghostly cigarette.
"Watched the fight, eh Angel Suppose you're bloody satisfied now." he says, and sighs.
Angel seems about to reply, then stops and looks curiously at Spike. "Not that I object or anything, but why did you run so quickly? It's not like she could actually land a blow on you in your current state."
Spike shrugs. "She'd have found a way, mate. She always does."
"Heh, that she does," Angel replies. "And sometimes sends you straight to hell. I've been there."
The two assfaces look at each other with almost-friendly expressions for a moment before suddenly snapping out of it.
"I'm not gay, by then way," Angel says. "So get out of my bedroom."
"Like I'd be with you anyway. And I'm not gay either..." Spike pauses for a moment before adding, "Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"Oh, of course not," Angel hurriedly replies.
They wait for an uncomfortable several moments. Finally, they turn back to watch the TV screen again, where Giles is lying on the mat, apparently having been knocked out by a big boom mike that one of the TV reporters brought into the ring. - Random

Blonde ambition tour Sorry, but there's just no way Spike can win. Buffy always fights better when she's angry and no one on this or any other plane can piss her off more than Spike. In consolation Spike would enjoy every minute of the smackdown. - Ponygirl

"You know what your problem is luv? You've always been able to find the power from somewhere but there are times when you can't find the will. You can never make the hard choice even when there's no other way. It's your vulnerability, even when you're drawing energy from your attachments and your bloody martyr code they're sapping the real strength right out of you. Let me make this one easy for you, see you around petal (fades from sight leaving just a wisp of spectral cigarette smoke)." - Celebaelin

To, erm, borrow dialogue from another fine show...
"You're a real Joan of Arc, you know that, Slayer?"
"Yeah, and I just ordered a stake."
Why don't we make this simple? I like Buffy. I am completely indifferent to Spike. Pass the dustbuster, please. - Caira

Whoo hoo! I just knotted it up at 25-all! Now let's close this thing down while the tie-breakers can still be useful. - d'Herblay

What? Is there any doubt? Buffy wins of course! The show is called Buffy the Vampire Slayer..therefore: Slayer vs Vampire = one big dust pile. (Handing Buffy a broom and dustpan...) - jane

Betty vs. BlondieBear This was not as hard as I would've thought it to be. Spike is my boy. But Buffy is my girl. And I'm gonna play the sex card. I'm backing my girl up in this match. Sorry, Spike old boy but you're used to your plans and schemes not quite turning out the way you thought they would. Besides I'm sure that there will be some comforting going on after the match. ;o) - deeva

truth be told, i was only watching angel (not buffy) til i saw "in the dark". so, for me, there would have been no buffy without spike. so he wins.:) - lynx

I like Spike, but it's in a homo-social way. I like Buffy in a heterosexual way. And how can Spike really beat Buffy on her own show? Buffy is IT. And, honestly? Spike reallllly kinda needs to get his own life. er uh...death. Cause the whole "I love you and that's who I am" thing, after hundreds of years, is a little childish. Plus, Buffy killed Angel more times. And she gets mega points for that. Plus, there isn't a Spike-bot that's really cute and walks into walls. Plus, Buffy's hair is closer to her natural color, though not all THAT close. Plus, when the show ended, it wasn't Spike I missed, it was Buffy. - Rochefort

Slayers represent! I haven't voted up until now, but I had to have my voice on this one. The way I see it, there are two ways of deciding this. The first is if we were to ask ourselves who would win in physical combat. Hey, wasn't this a thread earlier? Well, although Spike has had some luck here and there, overall the Slayer wins. Always! Setbacks yes, but Buffy will perservere in the end. The other way of looking at it is who you like best. And although certain, um, over-enthusiastic support (at other sites) has made me lose my own enthusiasm for Spike at various points, I am not a Spike-hater, and I am often really invested in his various struggles. That said, Buffy is the hero. Sometimes she says and does horrible things and makes foolish decisions as she struggles through a path of life (and death) more difficult than most of us (heck, most of the characters) could imagine. Cliche as it is, the weight of the world has been on her at least seven times in seven different incarnations, and she's always drawn up her strength and light to fight it. I know that people get exasperated with her sometimes, but to me Buffy is one of my favorite heroes ever, and most importantly, she is by FAR the best feminist hero I know. I'm afraid that, imho, Spike couldn't measure up to that... no one can! The Slayer wins! :) - skyMatrix

Giggle Has everyone noticed how the comments are about 10-2 to Buffy, and the voting is 35-30? Just sayin'. Anyway, if Spike wins this, it proves once and for all that they lost focus in the seventh Season. And as I still believe ME has a chance for redemption, I'm voting Buffy. - TCH

Just going on character strength... Buffy has endured the ire of various sections of fandom for years and years, and always emerged very creditably. Spike in comparison by comparison really is quite vulnerable. Which probably explains why Buffy will lose this poll and Spike will win, and still establish the truth of the above. Buffy ultimately wins, whatever the poll says ;). So there!! - Rahael

Take everything away and what's left? Buffy. Thanks to Buffy, we know our ability to love is what makes us strong, and we are strong enough to change the world. She'll always be our girl. - Arethusa

Buffy. Of course Buffy. From the moment Spike saw Buffy in "School Hard," he knew he was going to fall for her--he just didn't know how, or how hard. It's always been all about Buffy, it's always going to be all about Buffy. She's the One, the Neo of the Buffyverse. They meet, they may trade blows for old times' sake, but Spike knows who turned his world around and without her he'd just be another vampire. - MaeveRigan

Another toughie. Not sure I relate as well to Buffy the character as to Buffy the show. OTOH, Blondie Bear is incorporeal now. How can the Buffster win if she can't lay a finger on him? Maybe we need a more traditional contest, along the lines of, oh, I dunno...the Miss America pageant? What could be more apocalyptically scary than a beauty pageant?
Buffy vs. Spike Swimsuit competition.
Hmmm. Tough, but I give this one to Spike even though he insists on wearing his birthday suit instead of the racy little black speedo I had in mind. Buffy it turns out is stuffing or oops, nope, it's the pushup bra of S1-3. That's allowed but I gotta take off points for that. Sorry Buff. Eat a cheeseburger.
Buffy vs. Spike Evening wear competition.
No contest. The Buffster has had quite a few stunning ensembles throughout the years and only the occasional fashion faux pas. Okay, okay Honorificus, maybe more than a few faux pas. Still, she takes the cake over the fashion frozen Spike, even though he pulls out the stops with the Bed Hair of Redemption look.
Buffy vs. Spike Talent competition.
Spike sings & plays guitar, managing a decent punk rendition of "My Way" via Sid Vicious and Gary Oldman. Buffy does her impression of Christina Aguilera singing "Dirty"...ouch. This one goes to Spike.
Buffy vs. Spike The Interview
Asked to describe how they would improve the world, Buffy talks about taking care of her younger sister, working as a school guidance counselor, and oh, yeah, killing demons nightly. A smug little smile and she turns the mike over to Spike. "I sacrificed my life to sa --" "Hey Casper, I've done that before, too!" "You already had your say. Come off it, Blondie, you wanted to die that time!" "How dare you? You don't know me!" Buffy takes off her 3-inch Jimmy Choo stiletto heels and goes in for the kill! Only to fall right through Mr. Toasted & Ghosted, falling into the orchestra pit, and ripping her gown up the backside in the process. Oh, dear! Tsk tsk. Ah, who am I kidding? I like my Spike and he needs that new wardrobe and scholarship more than Buffy does. - punkinpuss

What makes a "hero"? A hero can be defined as someone who risks his or her own personal safety to protect and defend the safety of others. I think both Buffy and Spike have got that part down. But a hero can also be defined as someone whose very presence in the world inspires others to be heroes as well. Buffy turned Xander and Willow from ordinary high school kids into world-savers. Buffy brought Angel out of the gutter and set him on the course for greatness. And Buffy almost single handedly turned Spike away from evil and toward a glorious destiny--whether he wants it or not. I'm sure Spike himself would tell you: Buffy is the gold standard for heroes. - cjl

The only way Spike won't lose is if he's still a ghost and she can't hit him. Of course, he wouldn't be able to hit her either, so the best he could hope for is a draw. Of course, I screwed up taping Angel 5.3 so for all I know he's solidified enough to become a Slayer punching bag--again. - mamcu

The self-involved cheerleader vs. the bad poet/snarky loon? Or the reluctant hero vs. the trickster fool? Tough choice. Personally I can't see either of them winning this one. All their fights come to a draw. Now if it were Buffy vs. Angel? Buffy would win - a la Becoming. But with Spike? Buffy either escapes or Spike escapes. And when it comes to saving the world? Well Spike was pushed off that tower first in the Gift. But Buffy jumped. Spike failed in The Gift, Buffy won - dying to save the world and entering adulthood. The next time the apocalypse came - it was Spike's turn to do that sacrifical descent - and if he hadn't? Buffy would be dead along with everyone else in that high school. Perhaps it just comes down to personal preference? Or which character made the show for you and at which point in time? If this was a real contest? I'd say it would be a draw. With both participants turning around and biting or thumbing their thumbs at the audience in true Shakespearen fashion. We lose, they win. The end. - s'kat

Well now, since I personally think the answer is obvious ;-) I thought I'd conduct a little poll to see what a few others might think. The question presented was "Who would win in a fight, Buffy or Spike?" I present the answers in alphabetical order. - The First Naughty Virtue
Angel: He might have a soul, the little copycat, but having sex with Buffy doesn't mean he can take her in a fight. Having sex with Bu...I have to go brood.
Anya: If there's one female who would never need my particular type of vengeance, it's Buffy. She'll be on top of things. Lucky.
Buffy: Oh please.
Clem: Spike, 'cause y'know, Buffy's nice but she has [air quotes]'issues'. Although she is a cute little thing...not like I could blame the guy. Or her either...he's a cute little thing too.
Cordelia: Buffy. Definitely. She may not know how to moisturize but Miss Clairol hair beats the overbleaching every time. And Spike only has what? Two pairs of black pants and maybe half a dozen black shirts? And have you smelled that coat of his? Ewww.
Darla: William? Dru's little pet? Against a Slayer who's already died twice? I'd say it was nice knowing him but, really, it wasn't.
Dawn: Maybe I had a little crush on him once, but if he even thinks about hurting my sister I'll be introducing him to lighter fluid and a pack of sulfur-tipped matches. And he knows it.
Drusilla: My poor poor boy. He hasn't a chance. She's in his blood. She's in his mind, and he's out of his mind. Isn't he, Miss Edith? He's a bad boy. Have you been bad again?
Doyle: Beat a Slayer? He couldn't even steal a ring!
Faith: Yeah, right. B's got his ass kicked before they start.
Fred: I really do feel sorry for Spike, and I truly want to help him but if Buffy beats him it'll be one thing on a very long to do list that I won't have to do and I can't believe how much there is to do as head of an evil research department of an evil multi-dimensional law firm that does really horrible things but, well, I'm trying to change that evil part and anyway I say "Buffy."
Giles [not bothering to look up from book]: Slayer. Vampire. Dust.
Gunn: Pursuant to the gaming code of Verusuvan, organized Slayer vs. Vampire matches are required to be carefully monitored by a minimunm of three representatives from each side who are of equal status with the two participants. As there are now possibly thousands of Slayers here, current estimates are at 2,351, but only one other documented souled vampire, the match goes by default to Buffy, unless Spike can find two more representatives.
Harmony: Blondie-bear is still mean to me. I say Buffy wins.
Joyce: Isn't Spike the one that even I beat once?
Oz: Huh. Buffy.
Riley: Like assface could take her.
Spike: Bloody 'ell! Like I don't have enough problems as it is. 'old on, lemme think...What Would Buffy Do? Bugger. I'm dust.
Tara: Well, Buffy did have that, y'know, thing with Spike but she'd still, maybe, I think, take him in a, well, fight. I don't think she really, ummm, liked him that much.
Wes: Now that's an interesting question. On the one hand we have a unique Slayer, who has died twice and yet she's still going strong. And on the other hand we have a second souled vampire, one who went on a quest to gain that soul. Which is intriguing in itself. I've made some notes about that, being particularly interested in the fact that the vampire who sought his soul seemed to come to terms with it much faster than one who was cursed (who still broods about that). I wonder if there's any way to duplicate the souling that Spike had, without the curse. It certainly would make our jobs easier. ...Yes? Oh. Buffy, of course.
Willow: Well, now Spike's okay as vampires go, but I have to go with Buffy. She's the One, you know. And besides, she's kinda hot. Ummm...she won't be seeing this, will she?
Xander: Spike's goin' down. Although it was nice when he got Andrew's attention off of me. Nah...he's dust. Faster, pussycat, kill, kill. Ummm...not that I'm calling Buffy a pussycat, but ya hafta admit, she's pretty hot. Uhhh, she won't be seeing this, will she?
and special guest commentary from the previous champion:
Richard Wilkins: Well, gosh. He couldn't beat me. I don't think he's going to beat a fine, upstanding young lady like Buffy.
and because I can't shut her up:
LittleBite: He's such a wuss. He's a disgrace to vampires everywhere. Dust him.

Hee! I love you, FNV! Though you forgot... - Anneth
Andrew: Well, uhhhh... Buffy's pretty hot.... but Spike's cool, even with the soul. Yes, gentle readers, I believe our Mr. Spike has this one in the proverbial hook, line, and sinker.
Jonathan: Uh, guys? Spike's, like, a ghost.
Caleb: That slayer may think she's got this fight all wrapped up, but she's got another think comin'. Doesn't matter how hard she tries; in the end, she'll fail. They always fail.
Snyder: That Summers girl... she's trouble. She'll always be trouble. But I wouldn't trust the other one as far as I could throw him - look at the way he dresses. He's got under-age drinker written all over him. His breath would putrify the wholesome air he doesn't breathe.
Miss Kitty Fantastico: Mew.

Buffy'll win, and she deserves to. Can we pit her against famous literary characters next? (closes eyes) I see... I see... Buffy vs. The Giant Worm-Monsters from Dune! I see... I see... Buffy vs. Mr. Rochester! (Oooh, he outbroods even Angel!) Buffy vs. Batman! Buffy vs. Achilles! Buffy vs. Joseph K! Wee! - Anneth

Yeah, I'm breaking all kinds of rules today. Long comments, multiple posts from commentors. I think they're deserved. - Jay

nolo contendre Well despite all the new empowered Potentials I think you all know how I feel--- Buffy is still The One. - sdev