| Poetry |
| These are some of the poems I wrote during my depression. Many may be triggering so stay safe. |
| Fear is flying, falling over me Chasing away the strength that was free Now I see as my dreams are undone For now I know what I have become Fear is flying, falling through my mind Tries to erase or put in chains and bind All the thoughts that once were my life Now are emptied by anger and strife Fear is flying, falling through my soul Tearing everything that once was whole Forever gone are the days of peace Never will the pain and sorrow cease Fear is flying, falling in my heart Flinging my love and I apart Always I long to find him again I fear I am to lost in my anger and sin |
| Fear |
| Prayer for life |
| Haunted eyes reveal my pain Empty lies cause my shame Brokeness is in my heart As this darkness tears my mind apart I get on my knees and pray for life In hopes that you can end the strife Falling forward on my face As I beg for you to send your grace Every day there is endless sorrow Each new day is never tomorrow Fearful scars still remain Pour out your freedom like the rain All these chains that hold me down I'm not one who'll receive a crown I've resigned myself to the dark of night Now so used to my blinded sight What jewel could lie beneath this skin When fear is all that is within Falling, fearing forevermore As pain's sharp nails find my core Is this all I'll ever be With these demons tormenting me Looking for truth that doesn't hide That will heal all these tears I've cried Can you hear my desperate cries Why do I believe these lies This darkness consumes me whole As it eats away my heart and soul Find me, take me, free my mind Take away these fears that bind Erase all that is untrue Make my life useful to you |
| Dream |
| You're standing in my doorway Please, let me stay asleep Would you find it strange This rest is refreshing and deep I'm dreaming of who I spoke with They're realizing their fatal mistake And instead of telling my lies They're helping me for my sake The world is at peace and so am I In this dream I'm not falling We're everything we should have been And we've fulfilled our calling I wish this dream was reality Would you want to wake from this I cannot open my eyes yet Don't waken me with a kiss |
| She cuts |
| Begging for acceptance dying for a change she's hurting herself to hide the constant pain Day finds her by the window with the blinds always drawn At night she asks why she lives and cries till early dawn Constant fear aches inside Anger and so much more Forcing herself to stand she quickly locks the door Turning to fight this struggle she gives in to the desire Watching the blood run she sinks into the mire She always deepens the pain till her heart pounds in the gash She's numb to the world and she wants another slash She doesn't know the reason caught in this never ending phase what will it take to wake her from her pain filled daze |
| Lies |
| They say this pain will end They say they'll be there for me They say it's around the bend They say soon I will see Today I tried to talk to him Today he ignored my cry Today everything is so dim Today I didn't even try Hope tells me to hold on Hope chooses friends Hope for me is gone Hope is all he sends Tomorrow they say to watch for Tomorrow will heal my pain Tomorrow eats at my core Tomorrow take me beyond insane |
| You |
| Do you remember the day I told you What did you think - what did you feel Did you wonder why you knew Could you believe what I said was real Did you try to untangle my mind Did you count the tears I cried What do you think I'll find When I've reached the other side |
| Satan's control |
| Shaking me, breaking me These thoughts are in my head Beating me, leaving me See how much I've bled Hating me, caging me Am I to belive you'll depart Slaving me, craving me Devouring my heart Look me in the eyes So I can see your lies Exult over damage done Break me, make me run |
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