Do You Love Me?

Joey’s POV

I opened my eyes to find the room dark. Uh-Oh. Did I sleep through supper? What time is it?

7:00!!!!

Crud! I missed dinner! I guess I’ll have to be happy with leftovers. Oh well. Sucks, but what are you gonna do?

My attempt to get off the bed could have come from a comedy movie…although it wasn’t that funny to me. My legs were really shaky. I hate trembling like this. The shaking hasn’t stopped, but maybe that’s because I’m hungry.

Withdrawal is a bitch, let me tell you. None of you wanna go what I’m going through. It really bites ass.

Anyway, after ten minutes of trying to not fall flat on my face, I finally gained my balance.

I staggered out of the hallway.

Much to my surprise, Seto was sitting outside my door, reading a newspaper and drinking his coffee.

“Hello, Joey. Did you sleep well?”

I grabbed onto the doorknob to prevent myself from falling over. Seto dropped his paper and put his coffee down on the table beside him.

“Need a little help?”

My cheeks were red when I looked in the mirror. Am I blushing?

“Thanks, Seto. I guess my feet don’t want to work today.”

Seto put my arm around his shoulders and his other arm wrapped around my waist, supporting me. “Are you hungry, pups?”

My tummy growled loudly. Seto chuckled. He has a nice laugh. I never heard him laugh like that.

“I guess that answers my question, doesn’t it? Come on, it’s time for dinner.”

“Dinner? I missed dinner. It was at 6 p.m.”

Seto helped me down the hallway. “I had my cook stay late so this way you could have fresh food. You shouldn’t have leftovers…not after what you went through this afternoon.”

This afternoon? “What happened this afternoon?”

Seto’s smiling face turned into worry. “You mean, you don’t remember? You had a bad episode this afternoon. You were shaking and you were hallucinating. I was very worried about you and so was Mokuba.”

“Mokuba was worried about me? Why?”

“He feels like you are part of our family, Joey. He’s worried about you as much as I am.”

I sighed. I’ve been such a jerk and these two have taken me into their home. I have to do something nice for Kaiba. But, what could I do? Any suggestions? I’m stumped.

He took me to the Dining Hall and he sat me down. The cook brought out fresh, hot food for me.

Mmmm….chicken! Noodles! Rice! Carrots! Even fresh, hot biscuits! Oh man! When did I die and go to heaven? I sure hope all this food isn’t a hallucination!

“Eat up, Joey. Umm…you’re salivating all over yourself, puppy.” Seto said handing me a tissue. I took it and wiped the corners of my mouth and chin. Everything just looked so good!

I dug into the feast before me. Never before have I eaten this good! The food I always had was whatever I stole from the cafeteria or the streets. During the wintertime, good table scraps were hard to find. But now, I’m famished!

It took me no time to finish my dinner. When I was done, I leaned back, wiping my mouth with my arm. It was a habit I picked up from the streets…no napkins. Of course I ended up with barbecue sauce on my arm.

Seto laughed and took a tissue. Seto moved over to me and took my hand gently. Maybe he knew better not to grab my wrists. My father had a bad habit of leaving bruises on my wrists from the ropes, handcuffs, his fingers, his belt, or whatever he decided to use that night.

Seto’s touch was very gentle. It felt…good. He cleaned the barbecue sauce off of my arm and chuckled. “Messy puppy.”

I blushed again. “Sorry, I guess sometimes I forget I’m not on the streets anymore.”

Seto looked at me, his hand still holding my hand. Those ice-cold blue eyes stared into mine. I could get lost in those crystal pools.

What am I feeling? What is this…emotion? Love? Something inside me didn’t want him to pound the shit right out of me. Something inside me…wanted to hold him. I want to hold Seto.

I wanted him to hold me. What is wrong with this picture?

Nobody has ever held me. Well, nobody has ever held me the way I wanted to be held. My father’s slimy arms encompassed me after he made love to me.

Was it love?

Did daddy really love me?

What made it love? The violence? The kissing? The hugging? The hot, deep, quick, fast, hard penetrations into my body? What made that love?

I’m so confused.

Won’t someone clear this up for me? When I hold, Seto, I want him to hold me gently. But all I can focus on now is his beautiful blue eyes.

“You really don’t remember this afternoon, Joey?”

“Not really. All I remember is seeing the room on fire.”

Seto looked down, disappointed. “Oh. Really? Ok.”

“Was I supposed to remember something?”
Seto shook his head. “No. I just….I’m just glad you’re okay.”

I looked away from him. I don’t know why, but I wanted to know why he was so shaken up this morning. When I asked him, he sat in the chair next to me.

“My step-father funded a company called “GeneTech.” It was researching and perfecting chemical warfare and genetic engineering trying to make the perfect soldier. The head of the lab was Dr. Diane Flemming. After my step-father’s death, I called her into my office. I was cutting her funding. KaibaCorp was going to produce gaming equipment and technology. I didn’t believe in genetic testing or engineering. I never went there for that reason. Diane begged me to keep the funding. I told her I would not keep funding the genetic engineering, but I would fund some other experiments she was exploring as long as it didn’t require genetic engineering.”

Kaiba stopped and took a deep breath. He grabbed a glass of water.

“She told me she wanted to pay me for being so nice to her. Then she proceeded to touch me. She continued to force the issue. I could have called security, but, I was frozen where I was. My step-father stressed that I not move when he touched me. I couldn’t reach for the button to call security. I was scared. Frozen. When I told her I was gay, she told me she could teach me how to be straight. I can still feel her against me. Those breasts. That flat stomach. Her…hairy….wet…gods…I can’t, Joey.” Seto ran to a table in the Dining Hall and reached for stomach medication. “Every time I think of her or any woman’s naked body, I get physically sick. The female body just….makes me physically ill. I can’t even think of a woman on me or under me.” Seto shuddered.

“I never heard of anyone getting physically sick at the thought of a woman’s body. I don’t mind the female body. I think women have an inner beauty that many men don’t.”

“So, you like women, too?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I’m bisexual. It doesn’t bother me to think of a woman naked. In fact, I made some money drawing female nudes when I couldn’t find food. I find the female body quite beautiful.”

Seto shuddered again. “I never want to feel a female body on me again. Never.”

I smiled. “Women are quite nice. So, that was the only experience you had with a woman?”

“Only and the last. I told you, Joey. I’m gay. I don’t find women attractive at all. I have no desire to sleep with a woman. I only find men attractive.”

My smile grew. “So, you find me attractive?”

“How could I not?” Seto returned to me. “Your golden blond hair, your brown eyes. It’s scary how much your eyes look like Ryou’s. Your beautiful skin. You’re beautiful, Joey.”

It was my turn to shudder this time. My father always called me ‘beautiful.’

“No I’m not, Seto. I’m just a street-rat.”

“Not anymore, Joey. You are part of my family. If you left, Joey, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

I looked up at Seto’s eyes. I reached up with a shaky hand and caressed his cheek.

I never felt so accepted before in my life. Nobody has ever been this nice to me.

My eyes closed and Seto brushed away my tears.

“Puppy, why are you crying?”

Oh great! I buried my face in my crossed arms on the table and cried. I sobbed into my arms like a child. The last time I cried this hard was when I was eight years old. I remember that my daddy had gotten Jack Daniels all over my favorite teddy bear and he threw it into the garbage.

It was my favorite teddy bear and my father threw it out! He could have washed it! But, no, he threw it out and found his own ‘creative’ way of trying to cheer me up.

I cried harder, remembering my teddy bear and my father’s attempt at trying to cheer me up. ‘Come here, boy, and I’ll help you forget about your teddy bear.’

Seto kneeled beside me and rubbed my back. “Joey, I’m sorry. What did I say?”

“You…*sniff* …..called me…..*sniff*…beautiful.”

Seto shrugged. “I never lie, Joey. Well, I never lie to the people I love. I wouldn’t lie about something so serious…and so true.”

I lifted up my head slightly to look Kaiba in the eye. “No foolin’?”

“Nope. I’m telling the truth. Now wipe those tears away, puppy.”

Seto handed me a tissue and I wiped my eyes and blew my nose. I sat back and Seto kneeled beside me again.

He stroked my cheek again. “Feeling better, Joey?”

I sniffled. “Yeah. Sorry for crying like a baby.”

Seto shrugged. “Sometimes, a good cry is all you need to feel better, pups. Besides, it’s okay. You don’t have to worry about looking wimpy or whatever in front of me. I just want you to be happy…and be yourself.”

I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears. Seto leaned into me and we both closed our eyes.

“I love you, Joey.”

Seto leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. Seto took my hand and brought it to his hair.

I ran my hands through the brown hair. Seto deepened the kiss, his tongue slowly gaining entrance between my lips. I allowed him to explore my mouth slowly as I explored his.

The kisses with my father were always so bitter. Not only because of the alcohol, but because of how disgusting he was as he kissed me. It wasn’t right what he did to me. The kisses with my father were nothing like this.

This kiss was slow, soft, and gentle. Seto seemed eager to kiss me, so I just let him. I was always taught that love was about submission and domination.

So, I submitted. I couldn’t do otherwise with my lovers. I was never dominant. I don’t know how to be dominant. Everyone say hello to the puppy on the bottom. That’s the way it has always been and that is the way it is always gonna be.

Seto moaned into my mouth as his fingers brushed across my blond hair.

This feels so good! I found my hands falling from Seto’s hair down to his shoulders. I could feel him tense a little. Maybe I’ll just keep my hands here for a little.

Seto pulled back from the kiss much earlier than I would have liked.

“Joey….I….” Seto stumbled over his own words. He looked down at me with his blue eyes full of tears. “Joey, do you….love me? I have to know. Do you love me?”

The way Seto looked at me drove a dagger through my heart. His eyes were full of hope, his lip trembling with the uncertainty of my answer. How could I answer him?

Do I tell him I love him?

‘Love.’

What is love?

Do I love him?

Yes. I have loved him for a long time, but I never told him.

“Please, Joey….I need your answer. Do you….love me?”

I wrapped my arms around Seto suddenly and wept into his black shirt. “I love you, Kaiba! I love you!”

Seto wrapped his arms around me and we cried into each other’s arms.

I do love you, Seto. I need you, Seto.

“I love you, Joey Wheeler.”

“I love you, too, Seto Kaiba.”

NEXT CHAPPIE: SETO X JOEY LEMON! TIPPIE!