My world changed forever.
What I once had known and held dear to my heart was to be no more.
On the night of July 9, 1996 I lost my older brother.
Some say that I'm strong,
others just don't know what to say.
All I know is that he left the house that day
and never came home.
He returned to the world from which he came.
To be nearer to the One he called his "best friend."
Since the day I found those words written in a journal he kept,
I find it hard to call anyone my best friend.
I miss my brother so much
that my heart feels numb.
My eyes always swell up with tears,
but I hold them back.
I don't let them cascade down my face
and fall to the ground -
not because I want to bottle it all up and hide,
but because I know he wouldn't want me to.
I lost a part of me
when he left.
There is a void in my heart
that I don't want to fill.
It's there as a constant reminder of him.
And, that's basically all I have left -
reminders...
and I don't want to lose those.
Some say that once I really get close to a person
I will push them away.
I know that that's true.
I do - do that.
I don't think about doing it
it's a subconscious movement that I make.
It's the way my heart makes sure I don't feel that pain again.
But, there is no guarantee that I won't
I thank Allah (swt) for every moment that I was given with bhaiyah
and I pray that he will, Inshallah, be granted Junnah.
I will hold him dear to my heart forever
and I will always love him.
~July 2003~
He looks at me and smiles
As if he knows what lurks in my heart
He does not know
And he may never know
Because he is gone
That his memory follows me everywhere
To the ends of the earth I have traveled
But, he will not leave me
His memory makes my heart ache
And my eyes fill with tears
But, I know he is in Heaven
Away from all whose who can hurt him
And near the only One who truly loves him
September 1996
Entertainment | Announcements | Misc | Poetry | InLoving Memory
Quotes | Contact Info | Links
