To Be Forgotten
By Alison

Part 4

Damn him! How could he do that to me? He knows how much Toshiya means to me! I hate him…How could he?! Toshiya is mine! Kaoru's vision began to blur as he rushed down the hall, desperate to get away from what happened. Again and again, the scene of Toshiya and Kyo kissing flashed through his head.

"Ohayo Kao-" Die blinked as Kaoru stormed past him and Shinya, not even acknowledging their presence. "Gee, I wonder what is wrong with him thing morning? Hey! Was Kaoru-?"
"I think he was," Shinya spoke up from Die's side. "I wonder what upset him!" Walking around Die he slipped into the practice room and saw Toshiya and Kyo sitting on the couch. Toshiya was wiping at something on Kyo's face, but, from his position, Shinya couldn't tell what.

Shinya cleared his throat and the two other men in the room looked up at him. Shinya's brows shot up in surprise to see blood running down from Kyo's nose and a bit of dried blood still at the side of his mouth.

"What happened?!" Shinya exclaimed, as he rushed over to Kyo's side, Die following.

"That bastard Kaoru, that's what!" Kyo spat and he whipped at the blood on at the corner of his mouth.

"Huh?"

"Toshiya and I were sitting in here minding our own damn business when all of a sudden he hauls in here, grabs me, and the punches me!"

"And then?"

"And then nothing! He just walked out!"

"We saw him on our way in here, He looked pretty upset. Did you say anything to him?" Die piped up.

"Nothing!" Toshiya told him, "We didn't even hear him come in. We were just sitting here…" He trailed off, pink dusting his pale cheeks.

"You were sitting here…doing what?" Shinya urged the bassist.

Toshiya looked at the floor and opened him mouth, but Kyo cut him off.

"Kissing. We were kissing."

Die's jaw dropped, and if was possible, his eyes would have been bugging out of his head. Shinya sucked in his breath. Slowly he let it all hiss out through his teeth, while his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. All and all, it was a very scary sight to see.

"Baka! How could you?" He hissed at Kyo before turning a running out of the room in the direction Kaoru had earlier fled.

The silence that had taken over after Shinya had left was shattered when Toshiya spoke up.

"What is everyone's problem today? What did we do?" He asked meekly, to no one in particular.

Die flopped down in a chair across from the younger man, giving him a said smile. "Toshiya-chan…it all has to do with what happened before…your accident."

Toshiya gave a nod of understanding, and than turned back to Kyo, whose nose finally stopped it's bleeding. Since his back was to Die, Toshiya couldn't see Die glaring at Kyo.

*

Shinya found Kaoru outside the back of the studio, leaning against the big building with his eyes closed, and silent streams of tears running down his face.

"Kaoru…?" Shinya ventured tentively. Kaoru stiffened when he heard Shinya, but made no move leave.

"What?" He asked, his voice strained.

Shinya walked to Kaoru, and pulled him into an embrace, stroking the guitarist's hair as the older man sobbed against him.

Who would have thought that it would be me comforting him like this? Isn't it usually the older one is the one giving the comfort and the younger one needing it? Shinya thought.

Kaoru sobbed a few minutes more before pulling away and trying to regain himself. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out as beat up pack of cigarette and proceeded to pull one out, light it, and take a long drag before looking at Shinya, who, for the first time in his life, didn't glare and demand the cigarette be put out.

"God Shinya, it hurt so much to see them. I just…I felt a part of myself die. Toshiya…he means so much to me, and I love him so much…more than anything else! And because of my stupid jealously…I lost him for good." Kaoru muttered, his hand shaking as he brought the cigarette up to his lips once again.

"Kaoru…what you did was an accident. And what Kyo did was wrong. But that doesn't mean that you lost Toshiya forever. The love you two had…have…is strong, and a love as strong as that is not lost due to one kiss. You just have to keep trying, Kaoru. You remember how Toshiya used to be! He used to flirt with everyone he saw! Didn't we have this conversation before? When you thought he would never be able to love you. But he did, didn't he. And he changed and suddenly only had eyes for you. Don't worry, Kaoru. It will happen again."

Kaoru nodded and gave a small, forced smile to Shinya. "You are right, Shin-chan. I won't give up hope. But…tell the other guys that practice is canceled for today, ok? See you tomorrow, Shinya."

Shinya nodded and watched Kaoru drop his cigarette and snuff it out with his shoe toe before walking to his car. Kaoru opened the door and paused.

"Thanks Shinya, thanks a lot."

"No problem," Shinya replied with a small smile as Kaoru drove off.

Shinya sighed and headed back into the studio, not looking forward to facing Kyo, but it had to be done. Things had gone to far. And with the leader one of the factors in the problem, it looked like it was up to Shinya to straighten everything out.

"Kyo, I need to talk to you." Shinya called to the other man when he stepped back into the room, his voice cold. "Now."

Kyo scowled, but the glares he got from both Shinya and Die were enough to make him consent and follow the drummer out of the room.

Shinya led him into the sound room and shut the door with a click behind them. Kyo casually flopped down into a revolving chair in the room and began to leisurely spin it in, watching Shinya pace in front of him.

"Shut up, Kyo!" Shinya yelled when Kyo began to hum. "Just what the hell do you think you are doing? Huh? Kissing Toshiya? Kissing?! How could you do that? Huh? How? You do know that Kaoru and Toshiya are a couple, right? You have noticed that, haven't you? So what the hell were you thinking?"

Kyo stopped his spinning and stared at the drummer with shock, his mouth hanging slightly open. Shinya? Yelling at him? That was something new. Shinya usually never lost his temper. Kyo quickly shook his head and smirked at the drummer. "Hai, Shinya-chan, hai. Toshiya I were kissing…and I liked it…and *he* liked it. What is the big problem with that, huh?"

Shinya glared at the smaller man. "I will tell you the problem with that Kyo. I will tell you exactly what the problem is. Toshiya doesn't love you. He loves Kaoru. Kaoru loves him. Toshiya doesn't love Kyo, and he never will!"

Kyo winced and lowered his head, his confidence slowly slipping away and a new expression, one of broken hope set in. Although he would never admit it, those words hurt. It wasn't his fault that he was in love, was it? He didn't mean to hurt Kaoru, it just turned out that way. Kaoru had blown his chance, hadn't he? Wasn't it Kyo's turn?

"But Shinya…" Kyo spoke helplessly as he raised his head to look at Shinya, "Kaoru blew it! He hurt Toshiya. And Toshiya doesn't remember him! And he hasn't even shown any interest in Kaoru now. But…he has shown an interest in me! Why can't I be allowed to have a chance of being with Toshiya? Oh God Shinya…you don't know how much I have wanted this. For him to return my affection like he is…"

"But it can't be like that. Toshiya and Kaoru belong to each other, Kyo! They need each other! Please understand," Shinya pleaded with Kyo, his anger diminishing somewhat at the look of despair and hurt on the usually fierce vocalist's face.

Kyo nodded slowly. "Maybe…maybe you are right. But then again, maybe you are wrong." Shinya frowned. "But," Kyo continued, "I will back off, and see if Kaoru can once again win over the heart of our pretty Toshiya. If not…if not he is fair game and I can have him."

"Kyo," Shinya said frowning, "That isn't-"

"I don't care. Like it or not, that is all I am going to do." Kyo didn't wait for Shinya's reply before walking out of the room.

Die and Shinya stood in the hallway and watched as Toshiya and Kyo walked out of the studio. They watched as Toshiya reached to take Kyo's hand, but Kyo pulled away and pulled out the cigarette box from his coat pocket as a cover up.

Die shook his head when the door closed behind the two. "Wow…things are really fucked up. Everyone is getting hurt here."
Tell me about it, Shinya thought.

**

Practice the next day was tense. Kyo wouldn't talk to Kaoru, and was trying his best to not flirt or anything with Toshiya, which basically meant that he had to ignore the poor bassist. Toshiya was obviously confused and hurt at Kyo's behavior, and pretended that Kaoru wasn't even alive. Kaoru wouldn't talk to Kyo and was deeply hurt when Toshiya refused to talk to him.

The only people who didn't have problems with each other were Die and Shinya, and even so, the tension form the rest of the band members was beginning to carry over into their relationship. All and all, things were not going well.

"All right, guys, don't be late for tomorrow's photo shoot." Kaoru reminded everyone as they were all packing up to go home.

Kyo and Toshiya were the first to leave. Just as Kaoru was going to leave, a cry of surprise and than the loud clattering of something falling down the steps was heard.

"Kaoru!" Came Kyo's frantic shout.

Toshiya! He quickly dropped his guitar case and ran to the stairwell, Die and Shinya following closely behind.

When they reached the stairwell, Kyo was already at the bottom, cradling Toshiya's head in his hands. It wasn't hard to tell that the bassist was unconscious.

Kaoru froze when he saw them, unpleasant memories of Toshiya lying like that on the riverbank flashing through his mind, and the uncontrollable dread that the bassist might be dead crept into his bones. The gasp from Shinya behind him shook him out of his trance

"Toshiya!" Kaoru cried out, and pounded down the step. Immediately he checked for a pulse, and when found one he gently checked to see if there were any broken bones, which there weren't (Alison: Toshiya must be the man of steel, ne? Two bad falls and nothing ever broken?!). He then carefully picked him up, making sure that Toshiya's head was comfortably rested in Kaoru's arms.

"We should get him into bed." Kaoru told the rest.

"But, shouldn't we take him to the hospital?" Die asked.

"No. I don't think it is that bad. There is no blood this time. I think he just knocked himself unconscious."

**

Kaoru glanced back at Toshiya who was tucked into his bed one more time before sighing and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. Toshiya had briefly woken up long enough to confirm that he was indeed alive before falling back to sleep immediately.

Toshiya's eyes slowly opened when he heard the door shut behind Kaoru. He wasn't in the mood to face Kaoru right then. Actually he wasn't in the mood to face any of his band members right then. He was much to confused.

When he had woken up and seen Kaoru hovering over him he had felt of pain. Why was Kaoru pretending to care? Kaoru didn't love him, he had called him a slut! The next thought that popped into his was where was Kyo? Was he mad at Toshiya or something? He had been ignoring him the whole day, and wouldn't let him kiss him the night before. And that was when Toshiya had begun to get confused. And suddenly in one big flash, all the events of the last few weeks had came back to him: his fall, not remembering anything, him and Kyo kissing, and Kaoru…seemingly upset about it all.

His fall down the steps, he realized, knocked all his memories back in place. He could remember everything…and felt awful about it all! Maybe Kaoru did care, but Toshiya must have blown that when he kissed Kyo. And Kyo, what about him? Toshiya didn't love him, well, at least not the same way he loved Kaoru. But that was all messed up now. He knew how Kyo felt about him, and he tried his best not to lead the singer on, while trying not to seem mean at the same time. But now…he did more than just lead Kyo on!

Stifling a sob, Toshiya rolled over and buried his face in the pillow. He was so confused…Sleep, he told himself, sleep. I will think about it all tomorrow.

...to be continued...

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