To Be Forgotten
By Alison

Part 5

"Rise and shine, Totchi!" Kyo yelled as he ran in and jumped on the bassist's bed. He pulled the covers down and grinned when Toshiya moaned and pulled the pillow over his head. "Maa, To-shi-ya-chan! We have a photo shoot in two hours! Get up, ne?"
"Kyoooooo," Toshiya whined, "My head hurts! I fell down a flight of stairs, I think that calls for sleeping in…hey…what are you doing up anyway?"

"Well," Kyo replied smirking, "We are already a hour late, so don't be so surprised. Besides, we don't want Kaoru to kill both of us, do we?"

Toshiya shot straight up, instantly regretting it when his head began to pound. "Yeah yeah," He grumbled and threw the covers back the rest of the way before getting out of bed and stumbling to the bathroom.

An hour and a half later they were on their way to the magazine studio with no time to spare. Luckily, they made it on time.

"Alright!" The photographer shouted when all of Dir en grey had assembled in the studio, "Lets start with the single shots, and then we can move on to group shots."

Four hours and 12 roles of film later, the group and solo shots were done, and it was time to move on to what the photographer had referred to as the "fun shots."

"Die and Shinya, your next! Shinya, I want you to get on that table, lie down and face me. Die, you stand behind him and place one arm above his head and one arm in between Shinya's other arm and body. No…a little more to the right…ok now just a tad to the left…perfect! Now Shinya, you look at the camera and Die, you look down at Shinya. Great!"

Kyo, Toshiya, and Kaoru all exchanged looks. The photographer hadn't been kidding when she had said they were the "fun shots."

"Kaoru and Toshiya! You're next!"

Kaoru blinked and Toshiya's heart began to pound. Us? In a position like that?! They both wondered in shock.

Well, as it turned out, their positions weren't quite like Die and Shinya's. Kaoru's and Toshiya were much closer and intimate looking.

Kaoru could feel Toshiya's warm breath against his neck as Toshiya got into his position. Hesitantly, Kaoru reached up and wrapped his arms around the bassist. Sure that is what the photographer told him to do, but Toshiya might have pulled away and refused to do the shots, and it wasn't like they could force him to do it.

But to Kaoru's surprise, Toshiya not only didn't pulled away, but also moved a little closer to Kaoru. So close, yet so far away, Kaoru thought dreamily. Toshiya's lips were so close to his…all he had to do was turn his head a little to the right and…

Kaoru snapped out of his thought when he felt Toshiya begin to tremble in his arms. "Toshiya?" Kaoru asked in alarm, "What's wrong."

"Nothing! Nothing is wrong. I just have an itch, that's all" Came the quick reply.

"Hold on guys!" The photographer called to the two nervous men. "I have to get some new film. Don't go away!" She winked and then walked away, leaving the two men alone.

Toshiya almost immediately pulled away, and Kaoru had no choice but to let go, which he did with much reluctance. It felt so good to have Toshiya back in his arms. Slowly he raised his head and looked at Toshiya. The younger man was very involved with staring at his gloves, his cheeks bright red.

Ah, kawaii! Kaoru thought with a fond smile. He blinked in surprise when he noticed the bassist's gaze was now focused on him.

"Kaoru-san…" Toshiya began hesitantly, and air of seriousness around him.

"Yeah?"

The photographer burst back into the room with new rolls of film and more smiles. Kaoru cursed silently to himself. Toshiya sounded like he was about to tell him something important too! Kaoru focused his attention back onto the other man when Toshiya began to move back into his position.

Please let me make it through this, Kaoru prayed, I don't know how much loner I can stand having Toshiya this close and not being able to kiss him or tell him how much I care.

**

"Kyo-chan! We are going drinking and you are coming with us!" Shinya stated when they were done with the photo shoot that day.

Both Die and Kyo were surprised at Shinya's words, as the pretty drummer wasn't the type to say something like that, but while Kyo became suspicious, Die understood perfectly when he saw Shinya's gaze come to rest of the other guitarist and bassist of the band.

"Yeah, Kyo!" Die said, "Us three haven't been out together for a long time!"

"Well…I suppose…"Kyo replied, still suspicious of the real reason, but not questioning it since now Die was going along with it, and he was fond of drinking. "As long as you guys pay."

Shinya stuck out his tongue but nodded, "Well, I guess."

Toshiya giggled as he walked by, "Bye you guys, see you tomorrow!"

Kaoru look at Toshiya's retreating form, then at Shinya, and then back at Toshiya. A grin broke out on his face when he realized what Shinya at done. With Kyo out with them, Toshiya would be home alone and Kaoru could pay his former lover a visit.

Kaoru smiled a thank you to Shinya before gathering his stuff and almost bouncing out the door. "Have fun, you guys! And don't stay out to late, ne?" He didn't really mean that last part, of course.

**

Toshiya look up at the door and stared when someone knocked on it. Silly, he chided himself, you have to get up and answer it if you want to know who it is.

"I'm coming!" Toshiya called when the person knocked again. Opening the door his eyes opened wide in shock to see Kaoru on the other side.

"Kaoru! What are you doing here? Kyo is out with Die and Shinya, I thought you knew that." Toshiya said in surprise.

"I know." Kaoru replied casually, "I'm not here to see Kyo, I am here to see you."

"Oh…oh! Well…um…would you like to come in, then?" Toshiya managed to sputter, his heart beating ten times faster than it should.

Kaoru smiled and walked into the apartment, taking off his shoes while Toshiya had to grab onto the doorknob to keep from collapsing. Kaoru had come to see him?? Kaoru had come to see him!!

Kaoru walked into apartment and sat on the couch, waiting for Toshiya to follow, which he did. Toshiya sat on the opposite end of the couch and fidgeted nervously. Finally, after seeing that Kaoru wasn't about to say anything any time soon, Toshiya took it upon himself to star the conversation.

"So…can I get you anything?"

"Nah," Kaoru replied, "I just came here to talk to you. Oi, Toshiya, today in the studio, you were going to tell me something. You can tell me now."

"Oh. Um. It was nothing. I forgot anyways." Toshiya told him, but his cheeks reddened significantly.

Kaoru grinned. "Lair. Come on, you know you can tell me!"

Toshiya didn't reply right away, just sat and thought. Should he tell Kaoru? "Well…I was just wondering…say…say you and someone you loved got into a fight…"

Kaoru froze. Was he talking about Kyo? He had to be darn it, because they only other person he got into a fight with is me, and he doesn't remember it, Kaoru thought. His grin slowly slipped off his face.

"Well, if that person apologized, would you take them back?"

"Sure. If they are sorry for what they did. It would be cruel not too." Kaoru felt his already broken heart brake even more. Not only did he lose Toshiya, but now he was giving the bassist advice on how to fix his relationship with Kyo. Yup, there was officially nothing to live for. Kaoru snapped out of his self-pity and had to concentrate when Toshiya began to speak again.

"Say, that this person also kissed one of your best friends, then would you take them back?"

"Toshiya…"

"Say this person hurt you heart, and then was hurt themselves. Say this person forgot all about you and was kissing you best friend. And say the person got hurt again and suddenly…" Toshiya's voice dropped to a whisper, "And suddenly they remembered it all…would you still take this person back?"

Shock paralyzed Kaoru. Could Toshiya mean…was he talking about…Kaoru? Slowly he brought his face up and stared at Toshiya, who looked away.

Kaoru slid closer to the bassist on the couch. "Toshiya…we aren't just talking about any old people, are we? We are talking about…us."

Toshiya looked at Kaoru, tears glittering in his eyes. "So we are."

Kaoru smiled gently at the younger man. "Oh Toshiya…well, in that case, I would defiantly take the person back. But, the question is not would I take the person back, but would the person take me back? After all, wouldn't I have been the one who started it all? So, would this person be willing to have me?"

With a strangled cry, Toshiya threw himself at Kaoru, tightly wrapping his arms around him, and burying his face in Kaoru's neck as he sobbed. Kaoru's arms were instantly around Toshiya, holding him tight, afraid to let go, as if doing so would cause the blue-haired man to disappear. It was so much like their first time…when they first told each other how they felt…

Toshiya looked up when he felt the shoulder of his shirt begin to feel wet. He was shocked to see the older man crying. He had never in his life seen or heard about Kaoru crying (except for when he was a little kid, of course! ^_^). "Kaoru?"

Kaoru pulled away to look at the bassist's confused face. "Toshiya, I had never felt anything more awful than being near you but not being able to touch you. Being forgotten was just…almost to much to bear. I missed you so much. Toshiya…I love you. I love you very very much. I…I…" But Kaoru didn't finish, just pulled the other man back up against him and hugged him tight.

Toshiya gently pulled away and smiled up and Kaoru, "I love you too Kaoru." And slowly he brought his face to the guitarist's. When Toshiya's soft lips met his, Kaoru could think of nothing better in life. They stayed like that for a few minute until Kaoru stood up, pulling Toshiya with. Still kissing, he led the other man in the direction of the bedroom.

Toshiya smiled against Kaoru's mouth before pulling away, watching Kaoru close the door behind them. "Kaoru…what on earth are we going in here for?"

Kaoru moaned at the look of lust on Toshiya's face and quickly closed the gap between them. Gently, Kaoru pushed Toshiya down on the bed before climbing on himself. "Figure it out yourself." He growled.

Carefully, but full of need, Kaoru began to unbutton Toshiya's shirt. Toshiya just sat there for awhile and allowed him before reaching up and mirroring the action on Kaoru's shirt. It wasn't long before both of them lay naked on the bed.

"It has been much to long, Toshiya." Kaoru whispered as he pulled the beautiful bassist in his arms.

**

Quietly, Kyo slowly opened the door to Toshiya's bedroom and wasn't too surprised when he saw Toshiya curled up in Kaoru's arms, both asleep. Kyo's smile was sad as he closed the door as quietly as he opened it, not wanting to disturb the two lovers.

He knew it was bound to happen eventually, Toshiya and Kaoru loved each other too much to be able to stay apart for long, and Kyo knew that is was better this way. But, he also knew things would be tense for awhile between him and Kaoru because of his actions, and Kyo knew that he would probably never stop loving Toshiya, but it was better this way. Toshiya was truly happy, and in love, all you want is for the other person to be happy.

"As long as you are happy, Toshiya" Kyo whispered to know one but the empty room, "I am happy."

Kyo decided to go out for breakfast that morning, deciding he probably couldn't take seeing his two bandmates together at that point in time, and because it was the nice thing to do. Toshiya and Kaoru needed some more time along.

**

Kaoru smiled softly when he woke to Toshiya beautiful face next to his. Carefully, as he didn't want to wake his lover up, he rolled onto his side, and propped his head up on his hand, enjoying being able to watch Toshiya sleep. He tensed slightly when the bassist's eyes fluttered open. He still wasn't sure about how Toshiya was going to react to the whole ordeal. They really needed to talk. The previous night's talk wasn't really a talk, more just a jumbled confusion of mixed up feelings.

Toshiya smiled up at him, however, and laid all Kaoru's fear to rest. Toshiya didn't hate him. "Mmmm…morning Kaoru love."

"Morning Totchi. Sleep well?" Kaoru murmured.

"With you by my side? Of course."

Kaoru stared at Toshiya for awhile, just taking in his beauty, and enjoying the pleasant feelings that were running through his body. Being in love with Toshiya is the best thing in the world, and it was even better because Kaoru had no doubt in his mind, or heart, that Toshiya loved him back. It was obvious in his eyes, and Kaoru knew that Toshiya could see Kaoru's love for him in his eyes also.

"Ai shiteru, my Toshiya-chan. Ai shiteru…forever," Kaoru told the younger man before pulling him back into his tight embrace, vowing silently to himself, that they would never again be apart.

**

End

So there you go! What did you think?? Please tell me!!

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